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My Ups and Downs


My intro to Scn starts back in the early 70's. I received a flyer in the mail which peaked my curiosity so I bit and went to an office building in West LA to check it out. When I got there, there was a small reception area and I was ushered into a small office where a guy sat behind the desk and told me that they could solve my problems if I would give him $2,000.00. :omg: I told him....I don't think so and got up to leave. When I came out into the reception area, there were about 4 people standing around and a table of books on one wall. They were all intending me to buy a book. Me alone with 4 other people plus the guy who interviewed me got me scared because they had me surrounded and weren't about to let me go until I bought something. I looked at the table and picked up a small book and paid for it and got out of there....whew! While I was there nobody mentioned the word Dianetics or Scientology. The name of the book I bought to get out of there was Problems of Work and I took it home and never read it. That was my first experience with Scientologists, but I had no idea that they were Scientologists until later.

Many months later I ran into an old boyfriend - someone that I was very uncomfortable around who also had a bad case of asthma. We had lunch together and he told me he was getting this auditing and it had helped him. He wanted me to have some of this wonderful stuff and said he would even pay for it. I was working full time and going to college full time and had no time for anything else, so I declined. But I did notice changes in him....he no longer gave me that uncomfortable feeling and he wasn't having trouble breathing. He said that it got rid of his asthma and it looked like that was true. I was impressed.

A few weeks later he invited me to an event at the Paladium on a Saturday. My boyfriend said that he was working on Saturday, so I said okay to going to the event with my old boyfriend, only to find out that my current boyfriend was going to be there also. Turns out my boyfriend didn't tell me he was a Scientologist because he had to disconnect from his former wife and two kids because she didn't like Scn and he was afraid that I wouldn't like it either.

This event started in the morning and lasted until about 2am the next morning. My old boyfriend told me that if anyone came up to me at the event I could just say no to them and they would accept a no from me. While I was at this event, at one of the breaks, someone did come up to me and said "Come with me". I remembered what he had said and I said "no". She repeated "Come with me" and I said "no". She repeated it a third time and I said no a third time and she just looked at me and said..."okay" and turned around and walked away. So it seemed like I wasn't going to be forced into anything and I felt comfortable with that.

I really enjoyed the event. Quintin was there and gave a demo of auditing, which I didn't understand and I was very impressed with Diana's stage presence and she looked like an angel with her long white dress and long red hair. I also was quite impressed with the way children were treated there. Most places where there were crowds of people usually meant kids crying and parents scolding, but at this event, the kids were happy and parents seemed to treat their children with more respect - more like they were responsible adults and the environment was more peaceful than other places I'd been where there were crowds of families. Normally I couldn't stand crowds of people for more than 15 or 20 minutes and I would get antsy and have to leave, but I was at this event from about 11am one morning until about 2am the following morning (it was a long event) and I was perfectly comfortable the whole time. The whole space felt different to me. I liked being around this bunch. I also found an Advance Mag on the seat next to mine during the event and read one of the OT Success Stories and suddenly felt like I'd found home. I was sold and I didn't know anything about auditing or training. I just wanted to regain my OT abilities.

After I went home, I asked my current boyfriend - how do I get started with this? The following Saturday he took me to Celebrity Center. I walked in the door and asked reception...."How do I get started with this?" I was escorted to the Reg. I asked the Reg..."How do I get started with this?". He started laughing.....said he couldn't believe it...because he didn't have to handle me on anything. I paid for the Comm Course and started that day and came back Sunday for more. Then Monday I went back to my usual routine of school and work and had no time to do more Comm Course.

I got a call from one of the Course Sups one night when I got home asking me why I wasn't on course. I told her I had work and school and couldn't come in during the week. She gave me a bad time and told me I had to come in on course. Nobody had ever made a schedule with me and I thought I would just go in when I had time and do this course. She put a lot of pressure on me and ordered me around and really made me mad. The next time I went in on course, I told them that I didn't ever want her around me ever again and if she was going to bother me, I wasn't coming in. They made sure that she didn't come near me again. They also set a schedule for me to follow to be on course, which I followed. Step one in getting me to conform to the group.

Shortly into the Comm Course, I saw a notice on the board that they were giving intro auditing sessions for $5.00. I went and paid for an intro session. I kept going on course, but I couldn't keep my attention on the course very well because I was more interested in this auditing session. It seemed like I had to wait forever...it was probably two weeks before I got in session. When I finally did get in session, it lasted about 4 hours and I went whole track. Wow! This was fascinating and I had a nice result from the session. I went from thinking about 6 thoughts at once to being able to just think one thought at a time...so much more comfortable....this was so wonderful that I went to the reg and told him that I wanted to do the HQS course and to train thru Class IV and to get 100 hrs of auditing as well. We made a postulate together and I think he had me make out a phoney check just to write it down in the physical universe (nothing he was going to cash)...kind of a wish check. After this one session I was so blown out, I wanted everyone to learn about Scientology and experience what I had just experienced.

I went home that night and when I laid down on my bed I noticed a pain in my body so I did what we had done in session and ran it back and spotted the incident and it blew. Wow, this was great stuff. I was so pleased with this ability to do this. The next time I went to the org, I mentioned that I did this and got in trouble for self auditing.

(I'll continue with more later. It's late and I'm too tired to continue now.)

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
In looking back to your early "wow" experiences with that auditing do you now view those wins differently or was it just a frame of mind you had then?


This was similar to my experience. I was sold on book one, and fairly demanded to work on staff. I thought everyone would be an auditor, and thought I'd have to be a secretary or something for a while and then be an auditor myself.

Turned out, only a few of the staff were auditors, and most of them didn't have time or didn't have "the confront" to be auditors. I found that strange. I'm interested in hearing the rest of your story.

Wisened One

Oh wow...you've reminded me of the 'high' I felt when I first discovered scientology.....(and the lows too, what with their controlling techniques).

Please, FoTi! Continue!

:drama: not salty enough...*adds more salt* :drama: Perfect, Ok! :drama:


I don't understand why psychoanalyzing would be considered a bad thing. Nothing wrong with taking a look at your mental state, and considering how it's changed with events.


Silver Meritorious Sponsor
'Psychoanalysis' is a sub-sub-category of Psychology and even a sub-category of psychiatry and has been debunked as equally ineffective as Scientology, for nearly the same reasons, although, psychoanalysis has been subjected to far more cogent testing and review.

However, the psychoanalysts are in general not out to overthrow secular government, subvert business and social organizations or force the entire population into a 'therapeutic relationship'.



Penis envy has been debunked, I think, but "psychoanalysis" has many components, just as "the Tech" has many components. Some of them are effective, and some are twaddle, just as in Scientology. Either, as a whole system, is "bunk".



You guys really crack me up with your popcorn. That's one of my favorite things to eat. I make a batch of it every night when I get home and then I sit down at my computer and lurk and munch. Where do you get those popcorn icons, anyway?

Okay, on with my story.

I really liked CC on 8th St. back in those days. It was kind of funky...brick and wood and big plate glass windows...kind of reminded me of a place up in the mountains where one would go skiing. And the carpet was made up of carpet samples all put together and it had a little snack bar and lots of fun and talented artists...people who wanted to make their lives better and wanted a better world. It was kind of a bohemian environment with no toilet paper. Kind of reminded me of Greenwich Village in NY....with a bunch of happy hippies running around.

Yvonne Jentzch (spelling?) was the CO and she was married to Heber then. She used to do group processing some evenings and I heard my first tape play at one of her gatherings...(about a week or two after I started the Comm Course)...it was RJ67 (about OTIII).:omg: Very shortly after hearing this tape play I was talking to the auditor who gave me my intro session and he told me that his father had just dropped dead at Thanksgiving Dinner and that he was in the middle of OTIII when he died. That registered with me as a very bad place to drop one's body and from that point on I was afraid of that Level. I was curious what was on it, but it seemed awfully dangerous to me. I still wanted to go OT, though.

I was convinced, from talking with the Reg, that Scientology would handle anything because he said so and I trusted what he said and I think he really believed it himself. (Why would anybody put up with the poverty of the SO unless they did believe it?)

I was so excited about Scientology that I had to tell everybody. I told my parents and got them to come down to CC to listen to an intro lecture. They came and my mother listened. and my father sat there with his eyes shut. After the intro lecture, they were ushered, along with me to the Reg and he tried to get them to buy a course. They weren't buying, so he tried to get them to pay for my HQS Course and my father said no...he said when I graduated from college and got a job, I could pay for my own course. I only had one semester left to graduate. End of Reg cycle. They weren't interested at all. About a week later, I received a check in the mail from my mother for the HQS Course. I was so excited ...the first part of the postulate I made with the Reg was coming true. I ran to CC with the money and paid for the HQS course. :thumbsup: I continued on the Comm Course.

Somewhere around this time, I was at work one day and my father called me at work and I got sick shortly after his call and I'd been told, I guess by the course sup, that if I got sick I had to come to the Org. So, I went to the Org and they got someone to give me a touch assist. In the middle of it, I went charging off to the bathroom with the auditor behind me all the way and tossed my cookies and then she continued the assist and I felt better. This was another positive experience for me because I felt better fast. Then I was sent to the MAA who gave me some bulletins to read about PTSness and SPs.....Oh My! Then the MAA went over it with me....Oh No...my parents? Oh Dear! This was not good. :ohmy:

I also came into the Org on another day when my body hurt and got a touch assist which lasted a long time, but the result was spectacular. I literally floated to the examiner. Boy, that was nice. I liked touch assists!

A couple of weeks after my mother sent me the check for the HQS Course, I received another check from my mother for $5,000 with a letter telling me that this was the rest of the money to finish off my college. My mother had been helping me to get through school by sending me a much smaller check each month and I didn't know why she was sending me a whole lump sum like this at one time. I tried to call her to find out why she did this, but there was no answer. I called late into the night - no answer. I called all the next day - no answer. I was worried. My parents never disappeared without letting me know where they were going. I finally called one of their neighbors to find out where they were. The neighbor said she couldn't tell me. Why? Because your mother doesn't want you to know. I finally got it out of her...my mother was in the hospital having a very severe operation and didn't know if she would live through it, so that's why she sent me the money...just to make sure that I would have the funds to finish school in case she died.

I frieked out. I found out which hospital she was in, drove to CC and said "Help me". What can I do for my mother? :bigcry: They said since I'd paid for the HQS Course, that I could route onto it and learn how to do a touch assist, so that's what I did...as fast as I could. I got checked out on it and drove to the hospital and when I got there, she was curled up in a ball of pain. She wouldn't let anybody give her any drugs for the pain. So, I asked everyone to leave the room so I could give her an assist. In about 5 minutes she expelled a lot of gas and then straightened her body out, smiled and cracked a joke. End of assist. She got up and walked to the bathroom. Boy, did I love touch assists! I went and got my father out of the hall and the nurse came in and wanted to know what I'd done that got my mother in such better shape so fast. I gave her one more assist before I left. Again, she responded well. I learned she had cancer. :omg: I left and when I next saw her she said that her doctor wanted to know what I had done....she said she told him I was a witch doctor. :dieslaughing:

After she came home from the hospital, I continued to give her touch assists. One day she was laying on the living room sofa and I was giving her an assist and my father walked in and told me to leave her alone, that I was bothering her and wearing her out. It really pissed me off that he didn't want me to help her. :angry: I quit giving her assists when he was around.

At the same time that all of this was going on, my uncle had Parkinsons and the doctors decided that the cure was shock treatment. :omg: He came to my father and asked him if he should go thru with it or not...my father told him he thought it would be a good idea. I didn't get there in time to stop it. I was too late. The damage was done. All of this happened right before Christmas...needless to say it was an awful Christmas. My mother couldn't partake in the activities because she was sick and my uncle was devistated because he couldn't draw any more or even think straight because of the shock treatments. He was and architect and an artist and he couldn't even function anymore and there was no undoing it. And I was upset about both of them. I kept wondering if all this sudden disaster in my family had anything to do with me getting involved in Scientology...my family was suddenly falling apart...was I being punished?

I was so rattled and scared by my mother having cancer that I decided I wasn't going to let that happen to me. I was going to get auditing and get up the Bridge and get above ever being vulnerable to that kind of thing. So, instead of using the $5,000 for college, I went to the Reg and paid for the training thru Class IV and 100 hrs of auditing at student rates so that I would never have to suffer from cancer, because the Reg said that Scientology can handle anything. Anything included cancer, I assumed. The postulate for Class IV training and 100 hrs of auditing was fulfilled, but not exactly the way I wanted it to be. I didn't want it to be because my mother was sick or instead of school, but I took it as it came. I felt desperate and scared at the time. But I didn't tell my mother what I had done with the money she had sent to me.

Also, during this Christmas season I met a new boyfriend and I introduced him to Scientology. Actually on New Years, I took him to CC for New Years Eve and they had everyone there write up their wins for the year. He hadn't started any courses yet, but he saw me write up my wins for the Comm Course, which was the only course I had taken so far and I wrote up 4 pages of wins from doing that course. I found it pretty helpful at the time, although I don't recall now what I wrote up then. But based on what I wrote up and what he read, he bought a course right afterward. He started on course and shortly after that I was going to start my auditing. I found him a bit enturbulating and he had things going on in his life that I didn't know about at the time, but I decided it would be best to end the relationship. I didn't want to have to tell him because I didn't want the backlash from him, but I also didn't want to waste my auditing money. So, one night after course I talked to him about it. He had just come off course doing TRs and told me that he was totally blown out. He was exterior...outside the building...feeling no pain....and when I told him that I wasn't going to continue the relationship with him, he could have cared less because he was so blown out. I was glad he wasn't upset about it. (He got a bit upset later after his win settled down and came to see me a few weeks later to get off his withhold, but I wasn't willing to get back together.)

I was told that I had to receive intensive auditing....12 1/2 hrs/week. So, I came in for auditing, but they didn't have an auditor for me. I kept showing up, but there was no auditor. While I was waiting around in the HGC, this cute little SO gal came to talk to me. Scientology had just bought the Manor Hotel and they were trying to fill it with guests. She wanted me to come see the Manor Hotel and wanted me to move in there. So, I went with her and when I walked into the hotel, it was de-ja-vu. :ohmy: I was fascinated with the place. People playing the piano, dancing, lots of hustle and bustle, it was a very busy place and there was something magical about the place (to me). She showed me a room and I rented it, went home and packed up my apartment and moved to the Manor Hotel. This was really fun. All these neat people to be around...all Scientologists whom I thought I could trust. Much better than being out in the world where you have to lock your door all the time. It felt safe to me.

I quit my job and went and sat in the HGC and waited for an available auditor so I could get this intensive auditing...that's how bad I wanted the auditing. I finally got an auditor and the first session I thought was totally stupid. The auditor kept asking me who she was. WTF? (Locate the auditor? Pffth!!) This is not what I bought auditing for. I wanted some more of what I got in the intro session. At the end of the session, the cans were rusty in my hands, so she told me that I'd blown a lot of charge. What a bunch of BS. The session didn't last very long and she then told me that we were done for the day. WHAT? Where's the intensive auditing? This went on for several sessions...each one about 15 or 20 minutes long and we were done for the day. After several of these she told me that there was no C/S on post, so we couldn't get another session. I finally got mad and stormed off to the examiner with my auditor behind me in tears. This was a disaster and I don't remember having any wins with this auditing...I just felt sorry for my auditor because she was upset to the point of tears. She was SO and OTIII and her 2D was an MD who was also in the SO.

While she was auditing me, I learned about her 2D, who was an MD and I went to talk to him about my mother. He said he felt like auditing would handle her condition, so I asked if he would please come with me to my parent's house to talk to them. My father was a chiropractor and was more likely to listen to a doctor's opinion. The Dr. came with me to my parent's house and spoke to both my parent's about auditing. They listened and decided to come to CC where I was and get on a course.

When I found out that I couldn't get this intensive auditing because the C/S wasn't around, I got mad and went storming into the MAA's office and demanded my money back so that I could take it over to ASHO and get my auditing. The MAA shoved a piece of paper at me to sign stating that I didn't think Scientology worked and I couldn't receive any more services if I got my money back. :omg: I felt trapped! I wouldn't sign the paper because I knew that auditing worked - all I wanted was that it be delivered and I was sick and tired of being jacked around!

I went over to ASHO and told them I wanted to transfer over and why. I said I wasn't going back to CC again. ASHO said to go back and give them a second chance and sent me back to CC.

Back at CC a lady told me to go home and get a good night's sleep and be back at 9am. I told her this was a bad schedule for me because I had a hard time getting to sleep at night and I wouldn't be sessionable. She told me to do it anyway. I went back to the Manor to try to comply.

In my room at the Manor, I had brought with me about 12 or so potted plants...I had kind of a green thumb. Early this evening I watered all of the plants. They started making a kind of singing sound... (Maybe they liked the space?) This was kind of strange to me, so I went to the next room and got the couple next door to come and listen. I think they were both OTIII. She could hear it too and seemed rather pleased at the noise they were making. (As an aside, they were from England and in years prior she had MS and small children she couldn't take care of. Her husband found Dianetics and with Dianetic auditing she had got rid of her MS. I was impressed.) Back to the noise. I went to the room on the other side of me and had the guy next door come stand in the middle of the room and tell me if he noticed anything. He looked around at the plants and said..."They're chortling". Welll, I was glad other people could hear it too, and not just me. Unfortunately the noise went on until rather late and I didn't get to sleep until about 4am and I had to be at the Org by 9am.

So with about 3 hrs sleep, I arrived at the Org at 9am and was shown to an auditing room. An auditor walked in, sat down, asked me how much sleep I'd had. When I told him, he didn't say anything, he just got up and walked out and left me sitting there. I waiting for about 20 minutes for him to come back and he never returned. I wandered out of the room to see what was going on. The D of P took me into another room and sat me down and asked me why I had so little sleep. I told her the story about the plants. She looked at me kind of out of the corner of her eye and said "Were they talkiing to you?" (She sounded just like a shrink) I said "No, they were just noisy and I had my neighbors come in and listen too and they heard it also." She told me to go home and they would call me.

I went back to the Manor and waited. When she did call, she told me that the C/S said I was supposed to take a vacation and go out and lay in the sun for a few weeks. :omg: Oh, great! Now they think I'm type 3. I was so bumbed out, I just laid down on the floor in apathy. All I was trying to do was get auditing, and now this. This is bad. A few minutes later the phone rang for me...it was ASHO trying to find out how things were going over at CC. When I told the guy on the phone what was happening...he said ":omg: ..I don't believe this. Just come into ASHO and we'll get you transfered over here and put you in session." Whew!!! I'm up off the floor again. Maybe things will be okay after all. This was rough, trying to get this auditing stuff.

The next day, I went into ASHO and they transferred my account over from CC. But....the auditing and training I paid for at CC wasn't good enough at ASHO. ASHO was a ClassVI Org, so I had to pay for the BC in order to get student auditing rates at ASHO. It was only $736.00, but I didn't have $736.00. But I did have the car that my father had bought for me when the engine blew up in my old car. I ran an ad in the paper to sell the car at a low rate so that it would sell fast and it did. The man who bought it met me at the bank and the Reg went with me to the bank to make sure that he got the money from me to pay for the BC. Now I had no car, but the auditing was paid for. I now felt guilty because I'd spent the money my mother had given me for school on auditing without consulting her and I had sold the car that my father had given to me (so that I could get to school and work) and bought the BC without consulting him. I had no more money to finish college, no car to get there and no job.

I had by this time decided I wanted to be an auditor anyway, so I tossed my college education out the window. The people I knew at school told me I was crazy to give up my college education for Scientology, but they didn't know how wonderful auditing was and how Scientology was going to change the world.

When I moved over from CC to ASHO, I told my parents I was leaving CC because of the trouble I was having there so they followed me over to ASHO and the Reg at ASHO got my mother to buy some auditing. Before she bought the auditing though, they had both signed up for the HQS Course. I asked why not the Comm Course and I was told because they wanted to take the same course that I was taking and I had started the HQS Course to learn to do the touch assists, but I hadn't continued on it because I was hell bent for getting auditing.

So now we are all over at ASHO on Temple St.

To be continued......

It's getting late and I have to get sleep and get up and go to work tomorrow, so I will say good night for now. I'll be back when I can.


Gold Meritorious Patron
What a story!! :drama: Can't wait for the next instalment.

Yeah, I remember the old CC on 8th St. You didn't have to be a celebrity to go there - it was very bohemian, come one, come all. It was like the Village in NY! I really liked it there too!

Oh - about the icons - they are on the screen to the right, and you can click on "more" to get the other ones.



the popcorn icon is inserted by typing :-d-r-a-m-a-: without the -'s. But you do need to type the colons.


Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome FoTi:happydance:

You got started around the same time as I did I believe, when was the Chateau Elysee purchased?

I too spent some time at CC and met Yvonne and Heber at the 8th St center.

Keep telling your story. I really like the how your writing flows.

:drama: and some for you too :drama: salt? butter?:yes:


Gold Meritorious Patron
the popcorn icon is inserted by typing :-d-r-a-m-a-: without the -'s. But you do need to type the colons.
Uh, yeah, or you could do that. If you remember the name of the icon you can just type it between colons. But I can't ever seem to remember them. :blonde: