This is going to be a long post...I apologize in advance.
I had known this particular person for about three years before finding out he was ex-sci. As a matter of fact, I blew off the first anon raid because he and my husband and I were getting together that day. When I mentioned that I was supposed to go to a protest but blew it off, I ended up telling him what it was about and he ended up telling me that he is ex-sci.
Which was fine. I've read you guys' horror stories. I understood. Or at least I thought I did. We discussed it, and he was surprised by the amount of information I had. Told me I knew more about Scientology than most Scientologists! It was a very good conversation, at the time.
Since then, he has told me some of the things that he did when he was "in". He says that he has threatened to ruin people's lives and cost them a lot of money, etc. He has shown a total lack of remorse or empathy. He insists he would do the same today. The reasoning behind his actions is that he was disrespected while trying to, basically, extort money from public members. "You insult me while I'm ringing you up for more money so I have the right to destroy you" attitude. It sickens me.
The difference might be that I can say "it's okay" to you guys because I don't know you personally. Or it may be that I am not as forgiving as I thought I was. Or (and this is the way I'm leaning) it's because you guys may have done some things that were wrong, but you admit it and take responsibility for it. He doesn't. Hell. you guys even sometimes take responsibility for things that were done to you! Which is wrong; I wish I could take all the ex-sci kids out for ice cream and a hug (no, I am not a pedobear; I am a mom).
Also, his reasons for leaving are not "I found out it was a con" but "they didn't give me the course I wanted". We were having dinner together one night when he started talking about being billions of years old and a clam, etc. I kid you not. In the middle of dinner at a restaurant...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I won't go into the reactions of people at nearby tables....
I used to think that our conversations may be cathartic for him; during one conversation, he even tried on my Guy Fawkes mask and looked in the mirror while wearing it and asked if he could buy it from me. I said "sure". I even offered to give it to him. Nothing came of it; he went home that night without the mask.
He continues to spew the tech, but now, I usually try to change the subject when we start talking about scientology. We do have things in common, both being tech-heads and gamers. But with me being anon and his being an ex, the conversation usually comes back around. I am hoping he will eventually come around. But he keeps justifying his actions and will not take responsibility for them.
So, I am totally confused as to how to talk to him now. He obviously trusted me enough to tell me the things he did, but the fact that he doesn't seem to see anything wrong with his actions is more than disturbing. I'm seriously thinking of just cutting him out of my life as a "toxic" person. BUT, I don't want to abandon him to the craziness.
Just so you know, he is not newly "out"; he's been out for over 12 years, but is still, obviously, struggling.
So...opinions /suggestions please?
I had known this particular person for about three years before finding out he was ex-sci. As a matter of fact, I blew off the first anon raid because he and my husband and I were getting together that day. When I mentioned that I was supposed to go to a protest but blew it off, I ended up telling him what it was about and he ended up telling me that he is ex-sci.
Which was fine. I've read you guys' horror stories. I understood. Or at least I thought I did. We discussed it, and he was surprised by the amount of information I had. Told me I knew more about Scientology than most Scientologists! It was a very good conversation, at the time.
Since then, he has told me some of the things that he did when he was "in". He says that he has threatened to ruin people's lives and cost them a lot of money, etc. He has shown a total lack of remorse or empathy. He insists he would do the same today. The reasoning behind his actions is that he was disrespected while trying to, basically, extort money from public members. "You insult me while I'm ringing you up for more money so I have the right to destroy you" attitude. It sickens me.
The difference might be that I can say "it's okay" to you guys because I don't know you personally. Or it may be that I am not as forgiving as I thought I was. Or (and this is the way I'm leaning) it's because you guys may have done some things that were wrong, but you admit it and take responsibility for it. He doesn't. Hell. you guys even sometimes take responsibility for things that were done to you! Which is wrong; I wish I could take all the ex-sci kids out for ice cream and a hug (no, I am not a pedobear; I am a mom).
Also, his reasons for leaving are not "I found out it was a con" but "they didn't give me the course I wanted". We were having dinner together one night when he started talking about being billions of years old and a clam, etc. I kid you not. In the middle of dinner at a restaurant...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I won't go into the reactions of people at nearby tables....
I used to think that our conversations may be cathartic for him; during one conversation, he even tried on my Guy Fawkes mask and looked in the mirror while wearing it and asked if he could buy it from me. I said "sure". I even offered to give it to him. Nothing came of it; he went home that night without the mask.
He continues to spew the tech, but now, I usually try to change the subject when we start talking about scientology. We do have things in common, both being tech-heads and gamers. But with me being anon and his being an ex, the conversation usually comes back around. I am hoping he will eventually come around. But he keeps justifying his actions and will not take responsibility for them.
So, I am totally confused as to how to talk to him now. He obviously trusted me enough to tell me the things he did, but the fact that he doesn't seem to see anything wrong with his actions is more than disturbing. I'm seriously thinking of just cutting him out of my life as a "toxic" person. BUT, I don't want to abandon him to the craziness.
Just so you know, he is not newly "out"; he's been out for over 12 years, but is still, obviously, struggling.
So...opinions /suggestions please?
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