A Scientologist in Doubt
January 28, 2013 By Lisa Bladh
3 Comments
I am, since many years, a scientologist. The core values and beliefs of this philosophical religion is part of my way of thinking and dealing with life and living.
As of lately my world has been shaken to it’s core. It’s not my belief or understanding of what Scientology is and what it can do that has shifted, but my trust and respect for our management and the implementation of Scientology in and outside of our Church.
Yes, I am a member of the Church of Scientology, but right now, I am a member in doubt.
For a scientologist, the concept of being in doubt is not just an arbitrary way of saying that one can not decide about something, even though that is exactly what it is. But it’s also a way of saying that one has to a certain extent departed from that group or activity.
It’s my experience, that the moment one gets into a doubt about something one automatically, to some degree, stop participating. One starts to look at the group and its activities in a new light and one might even start to see new things that one didn’t see before.
That’s where I am – I’m looking.
It’s important to understand that I am not doing this in an effort to slander, attack or create a confusion. I am sincerely in a doubt, and I need to sort it out.
But why a blog? Why take it public so early in the process, before even having decided in one way or the other?
For a scientologist this is not an easy decision to make. We just do not do these things in public. We learn to sort them out internally in our Churches. As a concept and a way of dealing with things that would, under normal circumstances, be the best way of doing this. But in light of what my doubt is all about I just couldn’t leave it with that.
You see, I see myself as a free being. Meaning, I see myself as a person free to express my thoughts, my ideas and my way of seeing things. This fundamental idea is not only part of the Human Rights declaration, something that my Church is a huge supporter of, but it’s also woven into the very fabric of what Scientology is all about.
We have something called the Creed of the Church of Scientology. I think it is a beautiful reading and it states such fundamentally universal beliefs that can be found in many religions and human philosophies. Our creed is worded in a way that is specific to how scientologists would see things and it emphasizes what’s important to us. But in essence, the thoughts and ideas here are the same thoughts and ideas man has had throughout any enlightened period of history.
One of these points has to do with our right to our own thoughts and our right to express them. I give you the quote here:
