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(Sorry, in advance, as a rambling rant may well ensue after reading about these young innocent people's precarious plight with Scientology. I've seen this kind of dilemma up close more times than I care to mention and it never fails to stir my passions and utter contempt for Scientology. That's why I have posted to this message board over 21,000 times--to try to do my small part to shine some light on the vast minefield that awaits anyone who is in the proximity of that cult):
Shall we begin?
Here's a true story that can either give HOPE or HOPELESSNESS, depending on how it is viewed.
This happened at one of the top Scientology organizations in the world--therefore, it is not a "fluke" nor an anomaly. It is how Scientology thinks and works and how they treat a young couple exactly like your 17 year old and their love-interest.
This typical story involves the relationship of a beautiful couple in their early twenties.
--the Sea Org recruiters wanted them both for a billion year tour of duty.
--despite very intense recruitment sessions, party "A" did not want to join the Sea Og.
--party "B" did not give a definitive 'no' and this gave some impetus to the recruiters to keep "B" in many-hours long recruitment sessions over several days. multiple recruiters ganged up to bombard "B" with "ethics" and many other manipulative techniques.
--"A" and "B" naturally discussed this ongoing recruitment--because if "B" joined the Sea Org, that would be the immediate destruction and end of their loving/romantic relationship.
--"B" began to realize that they would lose the love of their life ("A") if they signed that billion year contract.
--"B" now began to evidence/voice their concerns and uncertainties about joining the Sea Org during the next gang-recruitment sessions. The recruiters were very, very, very unhappy that "B" was backsliding and not doing what they wanted.
--the recruiters (same age range as "A" and "B") then demanded that "A" report to the org's ethics officer and be told in very harsh terms that they "must stop enturbulating" "B".
--when "A" mildly questioned this bizarre "ethics matter", they were then ORDERED to stay away from "B" while the recruitment campaign was in progress. This means that "A" could not live with nor talk to their loved one, by ORDER of the recruiters.
--when "A" did not respond with enthusiastic agreement to the idea of having their entire life and relationship blown up destroyed (in order "to allow "B" to reach their own decision on their own determinism") the ethics officer(s) then THREATENED "A" with issuing a "Non Enturbulation Order". Therefore, "A" suddenly was powerless to speak to "B" under this very serious threat. In Scientology a "NON ENTURBULATION ORDER" carries grave and sinister penalties if the party "breaks it". If, for example, "A" went to visit "B" or called them on the phone to discuss the recruitment, "A" would be immediately "DECLARED A SUPPRESSIVE PERSON".
--if "A" was declared a "Suppressive Person" (by reason of "B" manifesting any "doubts or reservations about signing the billion year contract" then "A" would forever lose "B" by a "DISCONNECTION ORDER".
--"A" would also lose their entire family of parents, brothers, sisters and relatives, because "A" would be forever shunned and ignored by them. Yes, nobody would even see them or talk to them (for fear that they too would then be "declared a suppressive person" and disconnected.
"A" confidentially sought my advice and counsel because they were profoundly upset at these threats and insanity. I told them what I thought about the horrific mind-control, manipulation, bullying and treachery.
--Ultimately "A" and "B" remained together ("B" decided not to join) and they resumed living together. They have been together for YEARS since then, in a beautiful and committed relationship. They are both still deeply involved in Scn, as are their respective families.
WHAT CAN BE LEARNED FROM ALL THIS: First of all, that Scientology will stop at nothing to get what they want. Secondly, that Scn will trample people's lives, livelihood and families if they can't force them to do what the church wants. Third, that Scn will resort to gestapo-like tactics all in the name of "ethics", "justice" and "humanitarian" purposes.
Most importantly, one can (hopefully) learn that Scientology WILL DO ANYTHING IT THINKS IT CAN GET AWAY WITH, no matter how many slimy tactics & sleazy lies they must engage in against innocent victims.
And Scientology will treat people like this FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES in order to steal their money or their time. It never stops. As a matter of fact, the pressure and coercive mind-control schemes will only become MORE FREQUENT and they will have GREATER INTENSITY.
And the more the Scientologist (or their associates) tries to pull away, the tighter the death-grip becomes. Think CHINESE FINGER TRAP.
The truth is that nobody in Scientology is allowed to live their own lives. They are considered to be part of Church "assets" and "property". The philosophy of Scientologists (beginning with Hubbard on down) is that SCIENTOLOGY OWNS EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. If you dare to assert any control or ownership of anything (even your own money, your own kids, your own job, your own time, your own relatives, your own friends, et al) Scientology will unceremoniously attack you to re-gain control. either through love bombing, lies, threats, harassment, terror and/or other "Fair Game" sanctioned attacks.
So, could your young couple survive Scientology's onslaught? Perhaps.
But if they elect to be together, they will ALWAYS have to contend with Scientology the rest of their lives--as long as at least one of them is a "Scientologist" in good standing.
If one of them tries to be a Scientologist and not the other, EVENTUALLY IT WILL EXPLODE. Therefore, it's always better to flood them with truth (to whatever degree they are willing to read/listen to the dangerous nature and facts about Scientology) and let it blow up now, rather than later when it's far more complicated with kids, careers, family and lifelong friends become involved.
There are not happy endings to more than 98 percent of Scientologists' stories. That's why 98 percent blow (leave) the cult eventually.
Even at their young age (17) they are still subject to the laws of the universe and cannot defy basic common sense by joining a cult. That's true for naive young people who join ISIS and go to fight in the Middle East--and it's true for naive young people who are seduced into drug use. It's true as well for young people who join gangs. And it's true for any other disastrous CHOICES that they might make. The unalterable rule of life is that bad choices have bad consequences, no matter how old someone is.
Better, much better, to give them as much truth as possible. Better to coax them into discovering the SHOCKING LIES that Scientologists are feeding them.
The sooner, the better.
The human spirit is resilient and there is every possibility of avoiding tragedy--if they are willing to listen to and learn the truth.
The Church of Scientology will not be happy if one or both of them starts to explore the "forbidden" world of the internet and books exposing Scientology's criminal and despicable behavior. They will react against anyone who does that. They will try to finesse that person. They will lie to that person. They will show folders of "documents" that "prove" none of it's true. They will threaten. They will harass. They will intimidate. They will eventually ATTACK with every manipulative weapon they can muster. And they will eventually begin to "DECLARE" people to be SPs with all that entails. These are all actually GOOD things, because it means that Scientology is desperately losing their grip on the victim and is losing.
The Church going wild and attacking is even a good thing. Because that will further reveal their true nature and destructiveness to the young couple. And this will, in turn, further drive the young couple FURTHER AWAY from the chokehold that Scientology hopes to maintain.
There is only one way out of Scientology and that is to defy all their commands and orders and policies and threats, either directly or covertly.
NOTHING CAN BE LOST BY FLOODING TRUTH INTO THIS DANGEROUS SITUATION. If they refuse to look and learn then eventually they will learn the lessons the hard way. That's the same rules that everyone alive must eventually live by if they wish to avoid suffering in life, whether it is linked to Scientology or not.
Truth. Facts. That's all they need at this point. People on this thread are giving excellent advice, such as the "GOING CLEAR" documentary, the Leah Remini tv series, Louis Theroux's documentary, and many other shocking & entertaining exposes. They're all brilliant and enlightening. The more the better.
Wishing you and your child and the couple all the luck and success in carving out a life for themselves somewhere in this world that is not under the dark gravitational forces of Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard.