New here. Need help with leaving

[xkcd]

It's been a week since she blew. She's been feeling a lot better, and she did go public with it. Her non-Scilon friends, many of them not even knowing she was involved, are very supportive of her getting out. I finally told my mom about her past. She's really pissed about how much abuse she received. And we haven't heard from them today.

 

[I told you I was trouble]

It's been a week since she blew. She's been feeling a lot better, and she did go public with it. Her non-Scilon friends, many of them not even knowing she was involved, are very supportive of her getting out. I finally told my mom about her past. She's really pissed about how much abuse she received. And we haven't heard from them today.

Thanks for keeping us up to date, it is sooooooo great that you have your lives back under your own control. You have a lot of living to do and freedom to enjoy.

Proud of you both.

 

[Purple Rain]

Thanks for keeping us up to date, it is sooooooo great that you have your lives back under your own control. You have a lot of living to do and freedom to enjoy.

Proud of you both.

I also really appreciate you keeping us updated on the situation. We're all cheering for you, and it's so nice to see you both succeeding and to have felt like we were a small part of all that.

 

[Enthetan]

It's been a week since she blew. She's been feeling a lot better, and she did go public with it. Her non-Scilon friends, many of them not even knowing she was involved, are very supportive of her getting out. I finally told my mom about her past. She's really pissed about how much abuse she received. And we haven't heard from them today.

At this point, I don't think they will spend much further effort on getting her back. They must know by now that you "are in league with a suppressive group" (us), and so they would not want her to come back and contaminate the other people with ideas of freedom and rebellion.

Expect them to have spent some time with girlfriend's Scientologist family members, getting them to agree to never, ever have any contact with her again. Time will tell about whether they will obey. Be sure to make it easy for Dad to discretely re-establish contact at some point in the future.

 

[Claire Swazey]

Something else occurs to me. I seem to dimly remember- and this may be inaccurate-that the only people who got disconnected from (bad grammar but you know what I mean) were actually declared SPs. Not that I'm on board with that, either. But it seems like in the past 15 or more years, as DM's power grew, that people are getting disconnected from for being "in serious ethics trouble" or "blowing staff" or, in one case I heard about, for not disconnecting from someone who was declared so then people had to disconnect from THAT person.

xkcd is better off without the cult, no question. Though I feel so sad about loss of family and I think that's just awful. But I really think there was a time when she would not have faced automatic disconnection.

Again, before anyone misunderstands (and pounces) I think that any connection with CofS is a game not worth the candle, that staff work/contracts is, at best, indentured slavery, that any disconnection for any reason is very wrong because it's suggested, urged, coerced and ultimately enforced by the cult and they never listen or care what the people themselves would have wanted, that the cult destroys families, financial wellbeing, health and anything else.

The way disconnection has morphed in the cult is just an additionally noteworthy thing, IMO.

 

[SweetnessandLight]

All I can say is: WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

 

[Free Being Me]

It's been a week since she blew. She's been feeling a lot better, and she did go public with it. Her non-Scilon friends, many of them not even knowing she was involved, are very supportive of her getting out. I finally told my mom about her past. She's really pissed about how much abuse she received. And we haven't heard from them today.

 

[Enthetan]

Something else occurs to me. I seem to dimly remember- and this may be inaccurate-that the only people who got disconnected from (bad grammar but you know what I mean) were actually declared SPs. Not that I'm on board with that, either. But it seems like in the past 15 or more years, as DM's power grew, that people are getting disconnected from for being "in serious ethics trouble" or "blowing staff" or, in one case I heard about, for not disconnecting from someone who was declared so then people had to disconnect from THAT person.

I think that's an indication of how brittle Scientology's control over its members is, under the DM regime.

They have to be very careful to exclude anybody who they are not sure they can totally dominate. They have to exclude anybody who might bring in data which would cause other Scns to "lose certainty". They have to exclude people who insist on asking questions.

 

[xkcd]

We received a letter from her dad, in his own handwriting, along with a check for money. This is not uncommon, as he typically sends her money every month to help her with the bills. The letter asks how she's doing and mentions he can't get a hold of her through convenient ways like phone and Facebook (even though his account blocked her) and mentions something about him trying to come down for a cave trip. It says that she's always his girl and that he cares. There is no mention of Scientology anywhere.

She's upset and conflicted about what to do. My advice is to mail him a letter or email and tell him the truth. Tell about the abuses, what she really thinks about her stepmom, and say that she doesn't want to be in Scientology anymore. If he really does care, he would respect her decision and still keep in touch. But I want to see what you guys would do.

 

[Adam7986]

Hey there. I need help getting out of Scientology. I have been on staff for over 4 years but I can't take it anymore. I've been lied to four times regarding the schedule I was on, and it got so bad that when I was 16 they made me work there full time over the summer. I asked if that was okay for them to do that and apparently it was, but I never agreed to be there full time. Then I got lied to again when I asked to help with someone and covering their schedule, getting told it was only going to be 2 months. Those two months turned into 9 months. Now they're making me change my schedule again, and it got so bad that two of them came over and I got bullied into saying yes to this schedule. I've been miserable the last three weeks, and I've been super fucking depressed and sick of it. Nobody has asked me how I'm doing, and it's ruining my life. My boyfriend and I are both sick of it, and half the time I feel like crying. I want to get out, but there is another thing that comes into the fray that I'm worried about.

That's my family. They're all Scientologists and my parents are making me stay there. My step-mom told me I have to fulfill my contract, but I didn't know it was going to be five years. I just feel so lied to, and they all keep preaching it's in the name of help. Help, my ass.

I don't talk to my step-mom and I refuse to speak with her. The rest of the family besides my dad is pretty much ignored as well, but that's because my mom talked a lot of shit about me after I left and none of them want anything to deal with me. However, my dad still talks to me and he is in charge of helping me with my financial aid for school along with helping with my rent. However, if I leave I know that I'll be disowned by my family and any help I need now and in the future will be null and void. I fucking hate it, but I feel like the only thing keeping me there at this point is that relationship. I love my dad, and he's really the only family I have left. My brother hasn't talked to me in almost three years, and my step-mom's family likes to pretend I don't exist or humor me on occasion.

I don't know what to do. I've told my boyfriend about all of this and I don't know how to find a way out. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being treated like this and having this pain all the time. I feel like I'm going through a fucking crisis right now and I can't tell anyone about it. I know I'm probably sounding emotional as hell, but it's just something that's been going through my mind. I've had headaches for the last three days because of all the strain on my body and mentally. I just can't take it anymore, and I had to get this out.

If anyone has been through this shit please help. I just need someone to talk to about this to figure out a way out. The only person who knows how I really feel regarding this is my boyfriend, and as awesome as he is, he doesn't know what to do.

If you and your boyfriend can make it on your own, I recommend that you just stop talking about Scientology and walk away from staff. There are only two options. Either you stay and you suffer, or you leave and you personally feel better but your family will disconnect from you. There aren't any other options. Scientology is built to be that way.

I haven't spoken to my family in three years. Good riddance to my dad, but I do miss my mom sometimes--my sister and my brother too. It was tough for the first few months but after that you just move on and move forward. I am happier without them and you will be too. Once they leave Scientology you can accept them back into your life if you so choose.

 

[Adam7986]

Boyfriend here. This is going to be a joint effort to get her out. So let's introduce myself.

I'm not a Scientologist. First time I heard about them was through the South Park episode, but I thought it was funnier than anything. I heard about the Anonymous protests and thought it was interesting, but paid it no mine. Then I meet my perfect half. She hasn't told me she works there yet, being too scared. I notice that she's friends with a lot of Scientologists on Facebook, and she always has a job she'd complain to me about, but would never leave. Shortly after we start dating, she mentioned something about being afraid of violating her ethics for dating me. Wondering what she meant, I do a little digging, and find her staff initiation photo leaked on this forum. She was a little defensive about it at first, but the more I researched, the more I realized how much bad news these guys are. And I've put up with their crap long enough.

Also, we do live together and work as freelancers with a steady income, so there's no risk of her being homeless. For the record, she had to move a state away from her parents when she joined. How is that even legal?

Hey bud. I had to do the same thing. I feel you both. It's a tough situation to be in. Y'all just need to stay away from her parents and mutually support each other for now. Avoid the conversation topic of Scientology when you do talk to them. They will try to convince her to leave you at some point. Be prepared for a lot of emotional terrorism. That's how Scientologists do. They are awful people and you'll be better off without them. Like I said, when/if they ever leave Scientology I would say it's safe to talk to them again, but as long as they are Scientologists they cannot be trusted.

 

[Adam7986]

Boyfriend here. I'm weary about that idea. They lie to her so much that I don't think they'd let her off that easily even when the contract is up.

They will not let her out easy under any circumstances. Walk away from the contract. Change your phone numbers and lock your doors. There are only two options, leave or don't. There's no in between. The cult is designed to be that way because they ultimate objective is to control every aspect of a person's life. If you can change your phone numbers and move, I would do that too.

 

[Adam7986]

Thank you for saying all of this. I appreciate the support. I didn't know there were others that had gone through the same thing I am.

I was raised into Scientology. I was in the Sea Org for 3 years when I was 15-18. They worked me 17 - 24 hours a day for $20 a week. They threw me out like trash. My parents tried to talk me into committing suicide. It took me 8 years and I finally built a life so I could walk away from them. I have been through the ringer with Scientology and I was completely alone. Not a soul to help me. No internet. No friends. Nothing. You're in a great position to walk away and I recommend you do it just as soon as you can.

 

[Adam7986]

Boyfriend again. I think I'm getting close, but she still feels scared and thinks that she's a bad person for even considering leaving. I compared it to the guilt a person feels when they're consisting leaving an abusive relationship.

That's a perfect comparison. The psychology is practically identical.

 

[Adam7986]

Boyfriend here. So they came to the door and knocked for a few minutes. Interestingly enough, they immediately did it after I stepped out of the residence. I'm usually a coincidence kind of guy, but I doubt that was one. They were waiting for me to leave to attempt to get her alone. She's a little shaken, but fine.

Ignoring them isn't going to work completely. Eventually there needs to be a confrontation.

 

[Adam7986]

They showed up an hour earlier, knocked, and left. I want to get her the courage to tell them off. We both work at home, so we don't have to be separated. And we live in an apartment complex, so idk if we can call them.

I recommend recording them on your phone to get rid of them real quick. They freak out at the idea of being on YouTube

 

[Adam7986]

I'm so glad she decided to get out now. Some of these stories about people being in there for decades sadden me. She's 21. She has her whole life ahead of her.

Yes. You are a good man for helping her and she is a strong person for having the courage to leave.

 

[xkcd]

I like your replies, but you're replying to issues we've already resolved. We're looking for advice on something that came up (found on page 25,) and I feel like you replying to the old messages is burying our new problem a little.

 

[Adam7986]

No one has knocked today, but her family do keep trying to contact her. Including her 13-year-old niece.

They will use all forms of emotional terrorism to try and get her back into the fold. Anything and anyone they can use to try and make her feel guilty. They will say and do anything. Be prepared.

 

[Adam7986]

I like your replies, but you're replying to issues we've already resolved. We're looking for advice on something that came up (found on page 25,) and I feel like you replying to the old messages is burying our new problem a little.

My bad. Just catching up.