No communication for 12 years

Hasbro

New Member
Hi. I recently ran into an old soccer coach. He raised a big family in our neighborhood. One of his sons was my age and we were very good friends but I had not seen him since early 1990s.

I asked him about "Andy", he just said general things. Andy, who was always quite smart, had become a lawyer (I knew that).

I got a call from the coach today, he researched my phone number somehow. He said when Andy moved out of state to get his JD, he was fine at first but somehow changed and eventually decided to stop all communication with his entire family. Nobody knows why. Coach said it's been 12 years, absolutely zero contact. I asked him if Andy had joined a cult or religion. He said he did not know of any such religion that encouraged stopping all contact with family.

I said I'd try to make contact with Andy and get back to him, to let him know if Andy was ok.

Then I started thinking about Scientology.

Is it likely that if Andy became a Scientologist, he would stop all communication with his family? I was just wondering. Sorry if this is off topic from the main purpose of the forum.
 

Thrak

Gold Meritorious Patron
Hi. I recently ran into an old soccer coach. He raised a big family in our neighborhood. One of his sons was my age and we were very good friends but I had not seen him since early 1990s.

I asked him about "Andy", he just said general things. Andy, who was always quite smart, had become a lawyer (I knew that).

I got a call from the coach today, he researched my phone number somehow. He said when Andy moved out of state to get his JD, he was fine at first but somehow changed and eventually decided to stop all communication with his entire family. Nobody knows why. Coach said it's been 12 years, absolutely zero contact. I asked him if Andy had joined a cult or religion. He said he did not know of any such religion that encouraged stopping all contact with family.

I said I'd try to make contact with Andy and get back to him, to let him know if Andy was ok.

Then I started thinking about Scientology.

Is it likely that if Andy became a Scientologist, he would stop all communication with his family? I was just wondering. Sorry if this is off topic from the main purpose of the forum.

It's possible but not a lot to go on.
 

angel

Patron with Honors
I do not think it is safe to assume.

I did not disconnect from my family nor was I ever asked to.

I was encouraged and trained to communicate with my most difficult family member in such a way as to not originate anything to him, therefor he had nothing to attack. I only acknowledged the positive communications from this family member. Surprisingly I am one of two family members who still communicate with him. But, I have chosen to disconnect from other family members since being out of Scientology and I made that decision on my own. Strictly due to being unable to cope with certain dysfunctions of a family member never addressed by Scientology.

So, your friend may have personal reasons.

Jen
 

dchoiceisalwaysrs

Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome Hasbro.

I sure hope your coach friend finds his son and you your friend.

There could be many reasons why your friend Andy has dropped the communication with his family. Scientology certainly a possibility, but also certainly not the only possible reason.

There are search to find sites that would help also, one was mentioned here, but I can't find it right now.

It is certainly not off-purpose to ask here for help. We would be delighted to help but more info would help.
 

Lohan2008

Gold Meritorious Patron
not so

There could be many reasons why your friend Andy has dropped the communication with his family.

It is certainly not off-purpose to ask here for help. We would be delighted to help but more info would help.

not necessarly CofS...
plz give support to your friend in any event
 

FlunkedForLaughing

Patron with Honors
Typical cult procedures are to try and separate a new member from their family & friends, then indoctrinate them or teach them the real "truths" of life so they depend on the cult, and then make them afraid to leave. There are over 2000 cults (according to cult expert Steven Hassan). Could be any one of them.

FFL
 

byte301

Crusader
Hi Hasbro and welcome.

A detailed search would probably find your friend. If he is a lawyer he is sure to be listed under the bar association in his state. It would take some time but if he's practicing law his name will be out there.

I know someone who has excellent skills at researchng. If you'd like you can pm me and I will get you in touch with this person. This person is very nice and would help you, I'm sure.:yes:
 

MostlyLurker

Patron Meritorious
It doesn't look like a Scientology disconnection.
Disconnection is a punishment and is enforced when there is criticism on Scientology. Usually there is a make-wrong on the disconnected person, like "If you don't stop I will no longer talk to you", or "because you are against my faith I wont talk to you."
 

Reasonable

Silver Meritorious Patron
Highly unlikely.

In Scientology they would at first try to get him to disseminate and get his family into Scientology. (more money for them)

If he gets his whole family in then if one of them wants to leave they play the others against him. saying (covertly) that if you leave then your family will have to disconnect from you.

So I really do not think he is in Scientology and if he is then i do not think they are telling him to cut off communication.
 
Hi. I recently ran into an old soccer coach. He raised a big family in our neighborhood. One of his sons was my age and we were very good friends but I had not seen him since early 1990s.

I asked him about "Andy", he just said general things. Andy, who was always quite smart, had become a lawyer (I knew that).

I got a call from the coach today, he researched my phone number somehow. He said when Andy moved out of state to get his JD, he was fine at first but somehow changed and eventually decided to stop all communication with his entire family. Nobody knows why. Coach said it's been 12 years, absolutely zero contact. I asked him if Andy had joined a cult or religion. He said he did not know of any such religion that encouraged stopping all contact with family.

I said I'd try to make contact with Andy and get back to him, to let him know if Andy was ok.

Then I started thinking about Scientology.

Is it likely that if Andy became a Scientologist, he would stop all communication with his family? I was just wondering. Sorry if this is off topic from the main purpose of the forum.

I doubt he's a Sceintologist, Scientologists are very rare, and getting rarer by the day. If the cult sucked him in, he would have first tried to scam money form his family or get them to join the cult too.
 

Hasbro

New Member
Hi. Thanks to everyone for responding. I believe he must not have become a Scientologist, based on what you have mentioned. It makes sense that, if he did join Scientology, they would try to suck in family members in order to get more money. In that case, his dad would know about what he had joined. His family is not poor.

I thought it might be Scientology because of the fact that he is a lawyer, he would be very useful providing free legal services. This very strange excommunication with his family, I just thought it might be Scientology for some reason (don't know much about it).

I wonder what got into his mind.

Andy is not totally missing. If you search his name you find just a few slight hits. For example he is listed, with a physical address, with a bar association lookup. There are no search results that indicate legal cases he's been involved in, and nowhere is his email address. He has a Facebook page. it's blocked except for his name and a picture. I did send him a general "hey how are you" message using the Facebook system.
 

Lulu Belle

Moonbat
I once dated a guy before I got into Scientology who would not communicate with his family. He wouldn't talk about it and I never knew why.

BTW, the relationship ended badly. The guy had some major issues. I should have seen the fact that he wouldn't talk to his family as the red flag that it was.

The guy probably isn't in Scientology. As other have said, Scn does at least initially encourage you to "communicate" with your family. The good-roads-good-weather crap.

I will say, though, if at some point the guy wound up in the SO and went uplines, his family would probably never hear from him. But they would probably at least know that he was "in".
 
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