Demented LRH
Patron Meritorious
The rule could not be simpler: DO NOT HAVE SEX WHILE YOU ARE IN SEA ORG.
If you’re lucky to have a detachable penis, keep it in the freezer for a long, long time!
But wait -- Hubbard, in his infinite wisdom, realized that the rule is not enforceable, so he added two exceptions to it that annihilated it almost entirely.
1. You can get married Scientology-style if you have an itch, and you want your Sea Org soul mate to scratch it.
Rodney found that special someone more than once -- he was married 3 times in the course of 6 months, and was preparing for the fourth Scientology wedding when I left Sea Org. You see, Rodney needed a private room to do hanky- panky (nowadays they call it “hook up”), and his seniors were more than happy to accommodate him because he was a high-level computer programmer (database designer).
I do not know much about the Scientology wedding ceremony other than that the number of times one could get married is unlimited.
But what if rather than getting married, you are looking for one-night stands, a lot of them? Merciful Hubbard took care of that, too -- there is an HCOB called “ethics protection” by the illiterate Scientologists like me, who do not know its exact title, stating that Hubbard does not care if a Sea Org member with good stats is having sex with either non-Scientologist or fellow Sea Org staffer who also has good stats.
What if your stats are not great, but you still have the proverbial itch? You know what to do, then! No, I do not mean self-gratification, which is not really my style. I mean having sex and not letting the others know what you are doing in the shadow of Hubbard’s likeness.
My male friends knew that I thought that the sex-prohibition rule is childish, so they were describing their sex conquests to me knowing that I am not going to write silly KRs on them - men need to brag about this kind of things; bragging itself is almost as good as sex!
Down the memory lane I go.
There is plenty of sex tensions in EPF where majority of the recruits are young and in a good physical shape. My friend Edmund was the most popular EPF guy -- he was a good looking Englishman and a gentleman. He used to cringe when people cursed in his presence. Well, constant communication with me and hard EPF life cured him from that.
Almost every EPF girl wanted to date Edmund, he developed close friendships with all of them. “What do the girls say about me?”, I asked Edmund ones. He hesitated for a second and said, “Only Sally wants to be your Valentine. The others feel inadequate, they say you look like a movie star”. Well, that’s the story of my life -- women like me, but very few actually want to date me. But I digress.
Edmund and I were sitting at the table in the mess hall and drinking hot chocolade, it was late afternoon. “I need a huge favor form you”, said Edmund. I was intrigued. Usually, my fellow Sea Org members were asking favors from me when they wanted to do something illegal, such as obtaining EPF test data, a joint, going to underground casinos, etc. But Edmund was as almost unethical as I was, so I did not expect him to ask for this kind of favor from me. “My ex is coming from San Francisco, but there is this stupid no-sex policy”, said Edmund. “As if that is gonna stop you”, I said.
“It might. I may not pass the sec check”
“Your stats are better than mine. Why would they give you a sec check?”
“They do it at Flag regularly”
“What do you want me to do?”
“She might think that I’m looking for an excuse for not sleeping with her if I tell her about the policy. Could you tell her about the no-sex rule?
“I will”.
The girl did not show up. Otherwise, it would have been the weirdest conversation in my life. Three months later Edmund blew and joined her in San Francisco.
Patrick wanted Gabby so much that he told her that his stats were stellar and he had ethics protection. Gabby was not in Sea Org, she felt guilty about distracting Pat from his mission of saving the earth. “Don’t worry about that. If you would have turned him down, he would have slept with another girl”, I told Gabby.
Dana was crying on my shoulder. Patrick took advantage of her by promising to marry her. She was only 16. That made me angry at Pat.
Pat had sex with two more girls. His story was the same -- he had spectacular stats and was enjoying the ethics protection. In reality, his stats were below average. One of the girls wrote a KR on him. Pat loved Sea Org, he was planning to stay in it forever. But when he was faced with possibility of doing RPF time, he blew.
The no-sex rule was not much of a barrier for me. But I was planning to stay in Sea Org for 4-5 months only, so I did not want to start a relationship that was dead on arrival -- Sea Org members are not allowed to date outsiders. I stayed in Sea Org for 6 months.
Life in Sea Org is dull. Trying to spice it up, I designed a survey for the purpose of determining who is the best- looking girl in Sea Org. Two girls, Anne Mary and Sabrina, left competition in the dust.
Anne Mary was 22, she already spent 2 years in Sea Org. She had her own spacious office where she would sit alone all day long. It looked like she did not have a boyfriend. Guys were complaining that she is distant and cold. But when I was around she was a completely different person -- she was joking, and giggling, and flirting with me. The temptation was strong, I did not see a good reason why I should not fight it. I told my friends that I am going to ask Anne Mary out. Then I heard for the first time that she was married. It was not uncommon for CoS to break up the families by sending a spouse working overseas. I thought that Anne Mary’s husband was working in another country. Only after I left Sea Org I learned that she was married the Scientology style, her “husband” was in Big Blue, but they were leading separate lives. The stupid Scientology marriage would not have stopped me. But I thought that she was legally married, and I do not date married women.
It was too late for me to do anything -- the train had left the station. When I look back at the times I spent in Sea Org, I always think of Anne Mary. The opportunity that I missed I will never forget.
Sabrina was the smart one -- she met her future husband in Sea Org, they both left CoS and got married.
If you’re lucky to have a detachable penis, keep it in the freezer for a long, long time!
But wait -- Hubbard, in his infinite wisdom, realized that the rule is not enforceable, so he added two exceptions to it that annihilated it almost entirely.
1. You can get married Scientology-style if you have an itch, and you want your Sea Org soul mate to scratch it.
Rodney found that special someone more than once -- he was married 3 times in the course of 6 months, and was preparing for the fourth Scientology wedding when I left Sea Org. You see, Rodney needed a private room to do hanky- panky (nowadays they call it “hook up”), and his seniors were more than happy to accommodate him because he was a high-level computer programmer (database designer).
I do not know much about the Scientology wedding ceremony other than that the number of times one could get married is unlimited.
But what if rather than getting married, you are looking for one-night stands, a lot of them? Merciful Hubbard took care of that, too -- there is an HCOB called “ethics protection” by the illiterate Scientologists like me, who do not know its exact title, stating that Hubbard does not care if a Sea Org member with good stats is having sex with either non-Scientologist or fellow Sea Org staffer who also has good stats.
What if your stats are not great, but you still have the proverbial itch? You know what to do, then! No, I do not mean self-gratification, which is not really my style. I mean having sex and not letting the others know what you are doing in the shadow of Hubbard’s likeness.
My male friends knew that I thought that the sex-prohibition rule is childish, so they were describing their sex conquests to me knowing that I am not going to write silly KRs on them - men need to brag about this kind of things; bragging itself is almost as good as sex!
Down the memory lane I go.
There is plenty of sex tensions in EPF where majority of the recruits are young and in a good physical shape. My friend Edmund was the most popular EPF guy -- he was a good looking Englishman and a gentleman. He used to cringe when people cursed in his presence. Well, constant communication with me and hard EPF life cured him from that.
Almost every EPF girl wanted to date Edmund, he developed close friendships with all of them. “What do the girls say about me?”, I asked Edmund ones. He hesitated for a second and said, “Only Sally wants to be your Valentine. The others feel inadequate, they say you look like a movie star”. Well, that’s the story of my life -- women like me, but very few actually want to date me. But I digress.
Edmund and I were sitting at the table in the mess hall and drinking hot chocolade, it was late afternoon. “I need a huge favor form you”, said Edmund. I was intrigued. Usually, my fellow Sea Org members were asking favors from me when they wanted to do something illegal, such as obtaining EPF test data, a joint, going to underground casinos, etc. But Edmund was as almost unethical as I was, so I did not expect him to ask for this kind of favor from me. “My ex is coming from San Francisco, but there is this stupid no-sex policy”, said Edmund. “As if that is gonna stop you”, I said.
“It might. I may not pass the sec check”
“Your stats are better than mine. Why would they give you a sec check?”
“They do it at Flag regularly”
“What do you want me to do?”
“She might think that I’m looking for an excuse for not sleeping with her if I tell her about the policy. Could you tell her about the no-sex rule?
“I will”.
The girl did not show up. Otherwise, it would have been the weirdest conversation in my life. Three months later Edmund blew and joined her in San Francisco.
Patrick wanted Gabby so much that he told her that his stats were stellar and he had ethics protection. Gabby was not in Sea Org, she felt guilty about distracting Pat from his mission of saving the earth. “Don’t worry about that. If you would have turned him down, he would have slept with another girl”, I told Gabby.
Dana was crying on my shoulder. Patrick took advantage of her by promising to marry her. She was only 16. That made me angry at Pat.
Pat had sex with two more girls. His story was the same -- he had spectacular stats and was enjoying the ethics protection. In reality, his stats were below average. One of the girls wrote a KR on him. Pat loved Sea Org, he was planning to stay in it forever. But when he was faced with possibility of doing RPF time, he blew.
The no-sex rule was not much of a barrier for me. But I was planning to stay in Sea Org for 4-5 months only, so I did not want to start a relationship that was dead on arrival -- Sea Org members are not allowed to date outsiders. I stayed in Sea Org for 6 months.
Life in Sea Org is dull. Trying to spice it up, I designed a survey for the purpose of determining who is the best- looking girl in Sea Org. Two girls, Anne Mary and Sabrina, left competition in the dust.
Anne Mary was 22, she already spent 2 years in Sea Org. She had her own spacious office where she would sit alone all day long. It looked like she did not have a boyfriend. Guys were complaining that she is distant and cold. But when I was around she was a completely different person -- she was joking, and giggling, and flirting with me. The temptation was strong, I did not see a good reason why I should not fight it. I told my friends that I am going to ask Anne Mary out. Then I heard for the first time that she was married. It was not uncommon for CoS to break up the families by sending a spouse working overseas. I thought that Anne Mary’s husband was working in another country. Only after I left Sea Org I learned that she was married the Scientology style, her “husband” was in Big Blue, but they were leading separate lives. The stupid Scientology marriage would not have stopped me. But I thought that she was legally married, and I do not date married women.
It was too late for me to do anything -- the train had left the station. When I look back at the times I spent in Sea Org, I always think of Anne Mary. The opportunity that I missed I will never forget.
Sabrina was the smart one -- she met her future husband in Sea Org, they both left CoS and got married.