not sure Im in the right place...

Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
:welcome: Whitetable!

Yes, you will find people here who understand what you are going through and can help you understand WTF happened here. Not going to lie -- it isn't easy to get through to people who are true believers, but honestly the CofS is in trouble right now -- they are under a lot of scrutiny, especially in Australia. I have great hope that things will change and people who are "in" will start to see the problems with the church. There are people on this board who have reconnected. I hope you are one of them very soon!!

-TL
 

The Great Zorg

Gold Meritorious Patron
Here's a good thing to know. It often takes a very long time for a Scientologist (decades even) to figure out that Scientology is very, very good at doing these 2 things at the same time.
Smiling and Lying.

Summation of scientology: All Smiles and Lies. Words of wisdom. :yes:

Actually, that could also apply to most sales people and all politicians. :confused2:
 

Dilettante

Patron Meritorious
welcome

Whitetable, welcome :wave:
It's hard to fathom that neglecting your own family under the pretense of helping the planet is somehow going to make you a better person. I was a "churchie" for a short while and I can attest that helping others is a STRONG impulse that scientology exploits. :yes: From my experience I know that as soon as a family member expresses resentment the simple answer is to cut yourself off. If your Dad & Bro feel you are not in alignment with their purpose they have justified thier minimal contact. :bigcry: If they EVER find out you have been in touch with dissaffected members that could be the end of contact altogether. Keep a low profile here! :coolwink: Your Dad and Bro are probably really decent people and very duped. When they come to realise they have been duped the best thing you can do is be there (as you are) and accept them with open arms. They will need a lot of help. I over stayed my cult involvement because I was afraid I distanced myself from the outside world and I would not be able to reconnect. Thank God I was wrong and I had support getting out. :thumbsup:
Talk to folks here, we understand. It is a difficult trap to explain to someone who has never been in.
Dil
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Lots of people here haven't been in CofS. Most have, but not everyone. So, yeah, I think you're in the right place.

Just about all CofS' advertisements are lies. It's a shame. I personally thought it was a beautiful dream but it's just a dream. We can tell this from not only what they do, but from what they CONSISTENTLY do. It's not like these things we ex members and also family members like yourself write about are isolated circumstances. They are not rare. It's a shame. They sold a dream and it was very expensive and not just monetarily.
 

shadow

Patron with Honors
Welcome Whitetable.
There are so many caring people on this board who have been in Scn or have family in Scn or just care what happens with those in and out of Scn.

The more you understand the tactics used to keep people in Scn and the pressures your loved ones are facing, the better support you can be for them. If they know you are always there, always love them and will never stop loving them, then they will always know they have a place to go if their doubts about Scn turn out real (and these doubts are real). It is hard to communicate any of your concerns without pushing your loved ones away, because they would see any criticism as proof that you are an SP or PTS and possibly lead to formal disconnection.

Hang in there. THere are a ton of people leaving Scn and their turns are coming.
 
I didnt expect such a welcome, thanks so much everyone.

I really hope that the general consensus of the COS being on its last legs is true, I really look forward to the day. I do miss my Dad and brother and hope that they choose to leave sometime soon.
how did the view on the dissolution of the church come to be? what are you guys seeing that shows that the church in itself is dying, so to speak?
 

Sindy

Crusader
Only a matter of time........

I didnt expect such a welcome, thanks so much everyone.

I really hope that the general consensus of the COS being on its last legs is true, I really look forward to the day. I do miss my Dad and brother and hope that they choose to leave sometime soon.
how did the view on the dissolution of the church come to be? what are you guys seeing that shows that the church in itself is dying, so to speak?

Oh! Where to begin.

Number one, I have only been out for about 11 months after being "in", hard core, for 25 years.

This, among many other things, was a huge contributor to my waking up:

http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2009/reports/project/

Watch the videos on the right under "The Truth Rundown"

Here's another sign:

http://wiki.whyweprotest.net/List_of_ex-Scientologists_who_have_spoken_out

Good resources that might bring comfort:

http://askthescientologist.blogspot.com/

http://leavingscientology.wordpress.com/

It's only a matter of time. Scientology used to be able to pull enough new recruits in to sustain itself. Now, due to the Internet (thank goodness!), the lies of the organization, its founder and the ones who manage it are exposed. A person newly introduced has a world of information, at his or her fingertips, to do the necessary research on the new group he or she is thinking of joining.

After seeing what is on the Internet, anyone who gets involved in Scientology now is either a masochist, a criminal or has a very low IQ, IMO. In any event, they are in trouble as not enough people are coming in to keep the organizations solvent.

You take all that and then add Anonymous:

http://www.whyweprotest.net/en/

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=anonymous+scientology&aq=2

and Scientology is TOAST.

There are other indicators as well. Lots of defections and by people well known and high up in the organization.

It's goin' down, soon.

What I have shown here is only the tip of the iceberg.

No worries. Just learn, get prepared to be there for them.

:rose::heartflower::bighug:

A day of celebration is on the horizon.
 
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anonomog

Gold Meritorious Patron
I didnt expect such a welcome, thanks so much everyone.

I really hope that the general consensus of the COS being on its last legs is true, I really look forward to the day. I do miss my Dad and brother and hope that they choose to leave sometime soon.
how did the view on the dissolution of the church come to be? what are you guys seeing that shows that the church in itself is dying, so to speak?

I'm sure you'll get many answers to this, but what I have seen is that the numbers of people leaving and speaking out under their own name is increasing. This was not happening in the same numbers two years ago.

Take a look at Marty Rathbun's site to see some people who have come out : http://markrathbun.wordpress.com/, these are Independent Scientologists, people who still want to practice Scientology just not within the church. There are also a number of people who have come out on http://leavingscientology.wordpress.com/ and of course here at ESMB.

The heavy threat of disconnection and harassment that kept many exes silent, while not gone by any means, is lessening its grip.

On a totally different front, some of the media people I have had contact with initially, would not publish anything negative about Scientology for fear of reprisals. Now the same people are openly mocking and publish things they wouldn't have touched with a bargepole.
 

Outethicsofficer

Silver Meritorious Patron
ok, Im not sure Im in the right place and let me tell you why.
I'm not nor have never been a Scientology.
I do however have two member of my family in the church.
One is a kinda prominent, the other less so, but still newsworthy apparently, I'm not sure people even know they are related.

summary of my life as a family member of a Scientology:
my brother was my world. We were raised in a very violent situation after my father cheated on my mum and they divorced. my brother was my protector and no matter what I will always be grateful for that. My father, at a low point in his life was lead to a counselor (Cherie Cebrano, so the rest is pretty obvious here) and he as such led my brother in. Over the last 10 years, I have seen my brother twice I think? My father only about 5 times. He has been married and divorced and Ive never met her.

Why do they advertise they bring families together?
Is my father and brother the exception? are other families brought together?
If Im in the wrong place, let me know, but I can't find anything else to help me here, all I know is that I had a brother I adore, a father I cherished and they are alien to me now. My father is in the sea org in Sydney and my brother works in the Melbourne org.

Im normally better at explaining myself, I feel a little nervous having this been the first time, Ive written about this.
:unsure:

You're in good hands here, they adevrtise they bring families together because that sounds better than the truth..which is of course they destroy families.

If you need a little more local help with things and want to feel safe about discussing things then PM me I can hook you up with peeps who will understand and help.

Welcome.
James
 

LongTimeGone

Silver Meritorious Patron
Welcome whitetable.

You will not be able to understand the Scientologist's mindset unless you have experienced it. I suggest you don't even try. :yes:

One of the best pieces of advice I feel I can give is: always be happy to hear from him. When he contacts you, tell him (and your brother) that you love them and everything is just fine.

Under no circumstances discuss the cult in any way, shape or form and certainly never attempt to "deprogram" him.

If he starts taking about it simply smile, say "OK" and change the subject to your family.

When they finally escape it will be very traumatic for them and they will be more comfortable coming to you if they know you simply love them anyway.

All the very best,
LTG
 

Sindy

Crusader
Welcome whitetable.

You will not be able to understand the Scientologist's mindset unless you have experienced it. I suggest you don't even try. :yes:

One of the best pieces of advice I feel I can give is: always be happy to hear from him. When he contacts you, tell him (and your brother) that you love them and everything is just fine.

Under no circumstances discuss the cult in any way, shape or form and certainly never attempt to "deprogram" him.

If he starts taking about it simply smile, say "OK" and change the subject to your family.

When they finally escape it will be very traumatic for them and they will be more comfortable coming to you if they know you simply love them anyway.

All the very best,
LTG

Good advice
 
we originally fought them, arguing tech, supporting annon' and all that stuff that irritated the hell out of the them.
I got into quite the debate with my brother (5 weeks after he did the communication course) that he hung up on me,m that fueled me more.

but we have not spoken about COS for a few years now, its like the elephant in the room when we do see them though.
 
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