Notes from the Peanut Gallery

She came up at me, furious look on her face, right up into my face and said "How DARE you take me off post for more of your out ethics crap!!!"
I was astounded. I had no idea what I had done this time. She marched me down from the fourth floor of, what was at the time, ITO - International Training Org - but was physically located in what is currently AOLA, towards the main level. As she dragged me down the stairs, I asked her where we were going. "To security, where do you think?".
I wondered if I would be kicked out. That is where everyone who gets to leave goes first. Only I was 11 years old. I was a little scared to be on my own in the world. I secretly hoped I would be able to at least see my brother one more time before I was sent out on the street to be on my own.
"Why security?".
****: "Because another kid reported someone touching her, and that you had been around that same man. They want to know what you DID!!!!"
I was shaking. I remembered that he had offered both of us a ride, and I got out earlier than she. I knew I should have dragged the other girl out of the car. But I did not. I had no idea what happened to her that afternoon. I still don't know to this day.
The room they put me in had windows on all sides of it. I could see everything going on in security.
**** was seated in front of me. Now she was acting nice and trying to get me to talk. I could not say a word. I felt tears welling up. No, I cannot cry. I am not a child. I am an immortal being. These emotions are not mine. If I tell, I will be in ethics trouble forever. I cannot let on that anything happened.
As I thought these things in my head, **** is trying to ask me questions about my relationship with this man (who was around 40, I think). I kept shaking my head and looking down.
She said, "look at me". I did.
Standing behind her was the man.
Handcuffed, with police talking to security. He saw me. He pleaded with me to keep quiet. You could see him begging.
Did anyone see that he was trying to communicate to me?
I looked away. But then **** wanted me to look up at her. And there he was, through the glass behind her, still pleading.
Then he glared.
And I remembered the threats.
To be continued.....
Maybe
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Welcome ... and wow. :welcome:

Do continue. I'm kinda lost for words right now, the scenario of having something that happened to you as a child turned around to be your fault is just so awful and so typical of scientology.

I could not say a word. I felt tears welling up. No, I cannot cry. I am not a child. I am an immortal being. These emotions are not mine. If I tell, I will be in ethics trouble forever. I cannot let on that anything happened.

I know that feeling. :bigcry:


(And just note that if you want to retain your anonymity at this point, don't post specific details, dates, places or names etc.)
 

Jump

Operating teatime

Welcome Peanut Gallery!
How dare you take me off post for escaping being molested? Sorry you had to live with that. Hopefully you can shake some of it off. I hope you can see a good trauma counselor.


 

Leland

Crusader
Hello Peanut Gallery!

Welcome.

:)

I was in for 27 years as a public....and now out for 15 years....

Interested in the continuation of your tale. :clap:
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
She came up at me, furious look on her face, right up into my face and said "How DARE you take me off post for more of your out ethics crap!!!"
I was astounded. I had no idea what I had done this time. She marched me down from the fourth floor of, what was at the time, ITO - International Training Org - but was physically located in what is currently AOLA, towards the main level. As she dragged me down the stairs, I asked her where we were going. "To security, where do you think?".
I wondered if I would be kicked out. That is where everyone who gets to leave goes first. Only I was 11 years old. I was a little scared to be on my own in the world. I secretly hoped I would be able to at least see my brother one more time before I was sent out on the street to be on my own.
"Why security?".
****: "Because another kid reported someone touching her, and that you had been around that same man. They want to know what you DID!!!!"
I was shaking. I remembered that he had offered both of us a ride, and I got out earlier than she. I knew I should have dragged the other girl out of the car. But I did not. I had no idea what happened to her that afternoon. I still don't know to this day.
The room they put me in had windows on all sides of it. I could see everything going on in security.
**** was seated in front of me. Now she was acting nice and trying to get me to talk. I could not say a word. I felt tears welling up. No, I cannot cry. I am not a child. I am an immortal being. These emotions are not mine. If I tell, I will be in ethics trouble forever. I cannot let on that anything happened.
As I thought these things in my head, **** is trying to ask me questions about my relationship with this man (who was around 40, I think). I kept shaking my head and looking down.
She said, "look at me". I did.
Standing behind her was the man.
Handcuffed, with police talking to security. He saw me. He pleaded with me to keep quiet. You could see him begging.
Did anyone see that he was trying to communicate to me?
I looked away. But then **** wanted me to look up at her. And there he was, through the glass behind her, still pleading.
Then he glared.
And I remembered the threats.
To be continued.....
Maybe


There's no such thing as a normal childhood in the cofs but being coerced and generally made to feel like criminal due to a possible molestation is beyond disgusting.

Welcome to ESMB Peanut Gallery ... I hope you hang around and rid yourself of any remaining culty nonsense.


:welcome2::welcome2::welcome2:
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Looks like fiction from a never-in. Unless it's Alanzo messing with us.

Paul
 
Last edited:

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Looks like fiction from a never-in. Unless it's Alanzo messing with us.

Paul

Geez Paul. Couldn't you at least wait for a few more posts?

You imply it's fiction, well I happen to know that's exactly what it feels like to have this kind of trauma. Just because you didn't experience it doesn't mean it's not true. Scientology is worse than fiction, especially regarding children. Your sort of attitude here is also exactly why many never speak out.
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Paul,

I can't recall the thread (it was many years ago) but have you forgotten about that Jan Eastgate (CCHR) case in Oz ... it was eerily similar (or worse) and also involved a child and she (Eastgate) ended up in court for allegedly trying to hush it up and/or rewrite history.

Someone else may recall the details.
 

strativarius

Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband
Looks like fiction from a never-in. Unless it's Alanzo messing with us.

Paul

I agree with Paul to some extent. It's a little 'dramatic' for a first posting on a BB where you are a total stranger. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Paul,

I can't recall the thread (it was many years ago) but have you forgotten about that Jan Eastgate (CCHR) case in Oz ... it was eerily similar (or worse) and also involved a child and she (Eastgate) ended up in court for allegedly trying to hush it up and/or rewrite history.

Someone else may recall the details.


One of the threads was: "Charges Against Eastgate Dropped. Gee that sucks!"

I think that thread contains other links to previous discussions.
 
Things he said:

"What you are doing is illegal"
"If you don't come back, I will turn you in, and you will be in jail for the rest of your life"
"Bring your friends too"
"If your mother finds out, she will never love you again"

This guy was not a Scientologist.
But he was handled by Sea Org members because the children involved were all Sea Org kids.
 

Udarnik

Gold Meritorious Patron
I don't care about anyone's opinion about what I am writing. I don't care if you all believe me or not. I am writing it for myself.

The truth will out, for good or for ill.

Do what you need to do and ignore the comments until you are done.
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
A hearty welcome to ya PG! :welcome:

An intriguing introduction, some sort of context would have been nice, though not necessary ~ the drift, yup, got it!
I suspect that that of which you write is painfully familiar to more than a few in these parts, it is also one of the reasons I got involved in Anon regarding the cult years back (my how time has flown!). I have maintained for years that CoS (and cults in general), are a predator's paradise, especially for those with money to pillage, or skill-sets that are needed. CoS does one of two things usually, bury the hell out of it, or throw person (s) involved under the nearest bus; of course ideally, and it is my own semi-informed conjecture, PTS could be convinced that its time to depart the mortal coil (EOC) to prevent further damaging their reputation.
Scientology has a long track record of abuses of almost every imaginable ilk, going right back to the fucked-up flounder LRon, a particularly vile example of a shitty father/husband/human. There are many stories out there (here too) of all sorts of abuses, its heartbreaking really, and cult, being the conniving illusional/delusional construct that it is, has been actively covering it's own ass for a long time, hiding the truth is part of the whole scheme right back to Rotten Ron and, if you ever are curious about some old histories, an eye-opening start would be to look up his son's (Nibs) own testimony regarding his not-so-dear old man.
Anyhow, I cut this short due to my penchant for going madly off in all directions/ranting, and must say I look forward to more of your story!

:cheers: :drama:
 

oneonewasaracecar

Gold Meritorious Patron
I don't care about anyone's opinion about what I am writing. I don't care if you all believe me or not. I am writing it for myself.

Don't be discouraged by the words of a few people. Unfortunately, you have popped on here at a rather unusual time, when it appears one of the most loud, vocal and effective critics of the cult is behaving strangely and may have been compromised and/or turned by David Miscavige.

People are a little paranoid. This is nothing to do with you. Please don't take it personally.

Many of us, myself included, believe you. What you are describing here is very familiar.
 
Don't be discouraged by the words of a few people. Unfortunately, you have popped on here at a rather unusual time, when it appears one of the most loud, vocal and effective critics of the cult is behaving strangely and may have been compromised and/or turned by David Miscavige.

People are a little paranoid. This is nothing to do with you. Please don't take it personally.

Many of us, myself included, believe you. What you are describing here is very familiar.

Yes I am very familiar with Marty Rathbun, in and out of the Sea Org. (Meaning I have known of him all the way back to 90's to his current ...)

He was a jerk in the Sea Org, and he still is.

Yes he has done much to expose Scn, and for that, I (and many others) are grateful. But that doesn't mean I want to be his friend. No thanks.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
I don't care about anyone's opinion about what I am writing. I don't care if you all believe me or not. I am writing it for myself.

Exactly.

I admit my screen went blurry when I quoted your sentence above. It's exactly how it is and something those who have experienced it or watched it happen do understand. How do you explain the brainwashing and abuse of children and family connections so that others get it? I don't know, I have been trying for a long time. Only as individuals can we work on self healing, and writing is a good way to go. Be kind to yourself though, if you continue. So much of the "blame" can be directed inward, that's the way it was designed.
 
After the "encounter" in security with ****, very anxious Security Staff, and the accused, it became quite clear to me that the only thing that mattered was the PR and future of Scientology. Everything else had to be cast aside.
At that moment, more clearly than ever, I knew who's side **** was on, and it was not mine.
It was made very clear to me that if anything had happened to me, that I would have to testify in court about it (because the accused was not a Scientologist, they were pressing charges).
The entire time I said "I have no idea what you are talking about."

A few days or weeks later, a friend of the accused came up to me (he was a Scientologist) and asked me if anything had happened. He had been contacted by the accused for money for bail. This Scientologist wanted to know if he should help post bail for him. I shrugged. Fine with me, none of my business. I have no idea what you are talking about.

-----------------

If you are lurking and on the fence about Scientology, and manage to read this:

You MATTER. You are important. Not because of Scientology. You are important and matter because you are you. Don't ever forget that.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

hummingbird

Patron with Honors
After the "encounter" in security with ****, very anxious Security Staff, and the accused, it became quite clear to me that the only thing that mattered was the PR and future of Scientology. Everything else had to be cast aside.
Yeppers. Exactly. In the kult, if you don't have money, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU.

If you do have money, they care about you only to the extent that they can separate you from your money.

Welcome, Peanut Gallery. Your first post rings 100% true to these cynical eyes. Please feel safe here.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Top