Ok, I'm telling more of my leave story.


Silver Meritorious Patron
Gee, you had some rough times in your life. I'm sure it made you a much stronger person and the ESMBers are fortunate to have you on this board.:thumbsup:


Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
Wow, Michelle!
Thanks for posting this story, it will help others.
You're brave and resilient, your strength and courage are admirable. :hug:


Oh Michelle, what a rough trot it would have been for you, 'losing' the care of your littlies like that. My heart bleeds for people in that position - it's tough, and it's often not right, but it happens, and somehow everyone seems to cope.

It's apparent that you and your kids have done so well, and are doing so now. As Mike said, "alls well that ends well". You're a loving mum, and any loving mum will beat themselves up over stuff, way more than they should. I hope that any bruises you gave yourself over this scenario, weren't too big and are well and truly gone, 'cause they sure as hell should be - you are an absolute sweet!

Good ta see that you're working through and tossing the garbage. Well done you, on having the courage to do it, and the strength to make your life what you have.

Love ya and admire ya matey,
Carmel :kiss:

Wisened One

Thanks you guys. :hug: to all of ya!

I must admit I kinda messed meself up after posting that. :sadsigh:

I think I should post the next installment asap to help...

Glad you all are readin' tho, it helps. :yes:

Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thanks you guys. :hug: to all of ya!

I must admit I kinda messed meself up after posting that. :sadsigh:

I think I should post the next installment asap to help...

Glad you all are readin' tho, it helps. :yes:

I can't even imagine. . . I have had similar things happen when writing mine up, and mine was tame . . . this has to be very hard to bring this all up again. I hope some of the pain of it fades by doing so.


Woggin' out

Patron with Honors
OMG :omg: girl, you lived some wild times. I am soooo enjoying your heart wrenching story and can't wait for the next installment!

Glad you survived it all!:hug:


Patron with Honors

OMG WO, love your story, thanks for posting it!

You did really meet some heavy challenges in life and it did take a lot of courage to get through and you did a perfect good job.

Keep going.

Wisened One

Let the Boiling Begin.....

So I was learning to sell books on the weekends in between doing my TR's & Objectives Course. It was actually kinda fun.

David Weiss was fun to work with. He had an intention about him, and really got strangers on the street to open up to him.
He almost always sold them a book, too. It was amazing to watch!

David also introduced me to another stellar Public bookseller. His name was Rob Derkatch. He was also a bit quirky,but in more of a quiet way. He had a shy disposition to him, yet could amazingly open up to complete strangers and get them talking to him and buying a book! :ohmy:

I figured if these guys could do this, so could I? :confused2:

I was always a shy, sort of quiet person and couldn't imagine myself talking to strangers on the street like that. Much less, sell them a book! :no:

But these guys were such a joy to work with and they made it sooo easy to learn the way you approach people with 'survey's' and scripted questions to use, ya know? And even though I was shy, I'd always been interested in helping people in general.

I felt higher than a kite when I'd actually sold my first Dn Book!

Selling books like this, sure made that Div 6 book Division guy, Dean happy!

I was sure he was married and had kids. I had no romantic interest in him at this point, yet.

He looked too old for me, anyways.

But he was so kind and friendly!

So I finished my TR's & Objectives Course.

I continued being Foundation Staff at the West Palm Beach Mission House doing Promotion. I'd had to make thousands of these Promo Packets that consisted of a thin Newspaper and a couple of flyers within it, then
rolled up and put into a small baggie. I felt like I was a kid when I helped out on my friend's paper route, lol.

We would fill up two to four large Trash bags full of these Promo packets, then (and it was at night) one person would drive the car, while the other would throw each piece out on each house's lawn. It was a blast and we'd laugh ourselves silly seeing how fast we could get them all out by the end of the night.

My fellow Promo helper was a really sweet woman named Mary Spengler. Her and I got to be fast friends and would tell each other long stories about our lives, our past, etc. She was a joy to work with!

I wanted more auditing, but didn't have the money, nor had I worked long enough/hard enough on Staff to receive more yet.

Dave did his Purif and I think he did he received his Objectives Auditing. (He was able to get more money from his mom).

Well less than a year (or almost a year?) of being on Staff (and enjoying it, it was fun!)

It was decided to close down the West Palm Beach Mission (never learned why). Jan gave me the option to either leave Staff (and I think it would've been sans Freeloader debt, too!?) or transfer and join Staff at Miami Org.

Well I was really wanting a major change and improvement in my life. The times I'd been to Miami, the Staff there seemed really busy yet happy. I also wanted to end the relationship with Dave.

So that's what I did.

I moved out of our apartment, and temporarily back into my parent's house until someone from Miami could come pick me up.

A couple weeks later, I learned the guy from Div 6 that I'd met a few times would be my 'Buddy' and be picking me and my stuff up and driving me to Miami.

It was Dean.

He arrived and met my parents and they chatted with him while I ate and gathered my belongings.

I remember he and I kept looking at each other through the mirror I was facing while eating. We would smile when we caught each others' eye.
My mom even asked me while her and I were in the kitchen how come I wasn't 'going out' with him?

'Nah', I said. 'I've just met him...and I don't know how old he is or anything...'

So my mom works out in conversation to ask him old he is and if he's single!

That night, I found he was almost three years YOUNGER than me..and that he was single. But I still had little to no interest in him yet at this point.

Well he and I got to know one another during the long drive to Miami that night. I found myself opening up to him and sharing many personal details that I normally wouldn't do to someone I didn't know!

Well, I was settled temporarily to stay with my Senior in Div 6 and her family. Her name was Nancy. She was a very nice Senior to work with.
Nancy's Senior was Betsy Blair, the PES.

Betsy had a very deep gravelly voice. She chain-smoked Kools incessantly. She seemed nice, but also looked to barely contain a mean bitch side of her. I'd seen little of that side of her, but other Staff apperently did.

At this time, we had no real ED. We had an 'Acting ED' I think at first it was the Treas Sec, Celia Madigan who was. She was SO sweet! The staff meetings with her were calm. Then Mark Witt took over for a little while as Acting ED. HE was really sweet, too! No problems, I enjoyed Staff. Getting used to working long hours took some getting used to, but the air didn't crackle with such high tension and pressure yet.

I was set to work in Div 6 doing Promo and selling books with Dean.

From this point onward, Dean and I were to be Miami Org's Book Team.

We drove around in a bright yellow 70's style Van with the word 'Dianetics' in huge red letters on the side. We got to dress down in jeans and a black Dianetics T-Shirt for most weekday evenings and leave the Org and sell books, it was great! :)

Most of the books I sold were Spanish Dn books and to Spanish guys. They seemed to like that I spoke decent Spanish, and I think they may've liked my looks. By this time, I had shed my thick coke-bottle glasses and got contacts and dressed better.
(There was a time to where I was wearing strange, mismatched outfits at the Org.. to the point where HCO had to talk me into dressing better). :redface:

Oh and along this time, I started liking Dean, and I think he started liking me, too. But could never tell for sure.
He'd do/say things that'd make me think he did, then other times, he'd turn as cold as stone. Men! :melodramatic:

Well he and I played our own little games for a few months until both us finally decided that we liked each other, and we agreed to be a couple.

(Which would make for some really funny-mean stories almost rivaling his crabs story regarding the lengths I went to in getting a man I wanted. :D but I better not go into any of those, unless Dean gives me permission).

But Oh those happy, happy times of falling in love with each other, though! *swoon* :batseyelashes: :biglove: Amazing that we were able to do this in between Staff and all its pressures, lol! :p

During my years on Staff there, I was moved from Div 6A into Div 6B due to me running every step of the Front Line anyways, plus I'd learned to speak Spanish rather quickly and fluently. Since I was constantly
pulled into translation cycles, I guess they just figured make me a Public Reg.

I did NOT want this, nor did Dean, my Senior. (He was the Public Contact Secretary). He'd enjoyed my stats as Bodyrouter, Bookseller, etc. and I liked him as a Senior. He was nice, even when he was getting his face ripped off, he rarely ripped mine off. (shit rolled downhill A LOT, you see). His tones of voice alone could send me running! He'd sometimes speak to me in that calm, quiet, controlled voice, threaten me to 'get a product or else' kinda thing.
This frightened me far beyond what yelling would do.

Anyway, I ended up being in 6B. Well my stats were not as good as a Reg. Plus, I didn't like my Senior, Bob Addis.
He was a tall, bit overbearing guy. He barked at you most of the time. Off post, he could be strangely sweet as a teddy-bear nice, though.

Then our 'real' ED and her 'Team' returned to Miami from OEC/FEBC (training for Executives in how to run a scn business/Org). Her name was Cat Fox. This woman had the meanest, darkest, beaming stare I had ever seen on a human being!

She did not smile. :no:

She said she was going to whip us into shape and get our stats up. And she did it in the most evil way possible.
The Org slowly descended into all of us working up to 80 hrs a week, sleeping and eating little or rushed. Now NONE
of us were smiling (unless we were dealing with New People in Div 6).

I think the stats of the entire Org did go up, but it was no longer a fun Org. And all of us were exhausted, hungry, depressed (imo). I know I was.

The staff meetings with Cat Fox were hell. She ripped people to shreds, chewed them up, then spit them out. :angry: :grouch:
She'd insult my fellow staff with word and intentions I had never heard. (Slut, Whore, DB, Sabateur come to mind). :unsure:

My PES started regularly telling me that I was 'sabatoging my post' at times.
I'll never forget the first time she called me that and I scoffed at her loudly repeated 'sabatage!?'
to the point she had to shush me. (We were in earshot of the New People). lol!

Well, our stats were never good enough. Never high enough. Div 6 resorted to weird ways to getting stats. And one day, our PES Betsy was taken off post and sent to Flag to 'handle' her. She had been falsifying and padding stats. :omg:

So we had a temporary PES, a really pretty, nice black girl named Tanya. She was a joy to work for, kind, calm, but she was a new scn and didn't really know what she was doing.

The entire division spent weeks re-figuring out the 'real' stats and started operating with those. Course they were MUCH lower. (Dean I'm sure will be able to furnish much of this story since he was in EC/AC and I wasn't).

So we got even MORE pressure (if that was even possible?!) from Cat Fox. God, I'm surprised more of us didn't keel over from such high, prolonged stress of high blood pressure or a stroke or something. (Our sweet DED almost DID die, see my post #33 in this Thread about that). :omg:

So we're goin' along at 'real' stats (and yes, they were low). But we all felt more in control of our stats and production now, ya know? :yes:

Well, Betsy is released from Flag and restored as PES. And guess what?! She orders us to do all the weird functions and statpushes and falsifying again! :ohmy:
We even wrote Reports on it, but nothing was ever done and we couldn't seem to hold our positions with her (at least I couldn't). Come to find out, she had a BLAST at Flag, NO ethics was put in on her (per her, anyways).

Somewhere during this time, my divorce went through. It was an amicable divorce. Amazingly, I was given visitation rights to see my kids, yet I lived in Fla and they in Oklahoma.

I didn't see them for over three years. :sad:

Yet, I was sooo busy that I barely missed them! :ohmy:

Also during this time, Dean and I were married (by Betsy). Pictures are over
in 'Cos Pictures' Thread. Even though we were newlyweds, we were so busy and had such little time together to relax, that I felt like we'd been together forever, in a way. You know what I mean? :sadsigh:

Oh and the Cat Fox Rule got to be so bad, that SHE was finally ripped off Post! :happydance:

And a really sweet lady named Sue Vespie was now the ED. (She still is).

But we were all used to such a high-tension Org, being yelled at constantly, etc. etc. that we kinda felt like dogs that weren't gettin' our daily kickings, ya know? :nervous: The relief actually felt WORSE than what we were used to! :ohmy:

That stats were still bein' padded/falsified in Div 6, tho.

Well after months (or longer) of this, Dean was about to be the one blamed for this (instead of Betsy) when he didn't deserve to be, but everytime someone tried to blame Betsy, she would somehow squirm out of any actions against her. So the EO Kitty (A displaced SO assigned to Miami due to being pregnant) and the FBO Leona were about to descend on Dean and Comm Ev him (or something) he needs to tell his side either here or in his own Thread soon.

But yeah....and THAT'S the night (it was on a Sat) that we blew!

More soon!


Silver Meritorious Sponsor
Is 'Cat' Fox an older woman I might have met in '98 at Big Blue working for OSA? At the time, she was working with Gail Armstrong.


Wisened One

Is 'Cat' Fox an older woman I might have met in '98 at Big Blue working for OSA? At the time, she was working with Gail Armstrong.


Idk, could be. I think Cat was short for Cathy or Cathryn. She had white short hair. VERY beady black (or dark color) eyes. (I think?).

She has a cleft lip. (You know what I mean).

She has a couple sons I think (one still in Miami and a nice guy!) Craig Furlin and I think the other son's named Kevin Furlin or something,
I didn't know him at all. She also a daughter Nicole Furlin.

Figures if that was her...working for OSA! LOL! :laugh:
I heard she is now at Flag as either an Auditor or in Qual. :shrug:


Silver Meritorious Sponsor
Idk, could be. I think Cat was short for Cathy or Cathryn. She had white short hair. VERY beady black (or dark color) eyes. (I think?).

She has a cleft lip. (You know what I mean).

hmm. Can't remember that, but she had little-old-lady short white hair and apparently is well known in LA. Didn't turn on the 'bitch' valence in any case :)


anyway, on with the story!!


Wisened One

Huh, interesting. No, she DID have a nice side to her (believe it or not). I'd seen a bit of it near the beginning of her reign....

It might BE her, Zinj, fascinating! :ohmy:

Thanks for that update/link (we left in 95 so...).

hmm. Can't remember that, but she had little-old-lady short white hair and apparently is well known in LA. Didn't turn on the 'bitch' valence in any case :)


anyway, on with the story!!


Good twin

Cat Fox spent some time out in L.A. did her Exec training and OT levels I believe. She was a very skilled auditor. Could easily have been effective as an OSA handler. :yes:


Squirrel Extraordinaire
Cat Fox was doing the Sec Checker School when I was sup'ing there in 1986/7. She was OK as a student.