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On behalf of my friend, Anonycat

Discussion in 'Fair Game and Disconnection Victims' started by Doctor Watson, May 31, 2013.

  1. Purple Rain

    Purple Rain Crusader

    That's wonderful, FreeBeing!

    :)

    I hope that your story had a happy ending.
     
  2. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    Thank you, FreeBeing. Every bit is one step closer, and it ALL matters. I'm sorry you have been through this too. It seems like a rarity until it happens. I was just telling Doctor Watson how much the community has helped me through this. Very warm thanks. :)
     
  3. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    I second that!

    :bighug:
     
  4. programmer_guy

    programmer_guy True Ex-Scientologist

    So your attorney needs the whole $5000 before he will do anything at all?

    I have looked at the contributions and timeline of them and have a suggestion (whether this will fly or not).
    And this may allay any fears for contributors (just my thoughts on this).

    1. Talk to your attorney to PLAN what specific steps need to be done and put them on a plan.

    2. Ask for contributions for each successive step on that plan.

    3. Report to contributors when each step is accomplished and ask for more money for the next step.

    I know that this may be too much to ask BUT your attorney should be able to "spell out" just what those are.
    I am guessing that this would address any trust issues for contributors.

    I certainly would contribute MORE if you are willing to do this for each item along the way.
     
  5. secretiveoldfag

    secretiveoldfag Silver Meritorious Patron

    Thanks for the PM and email. I think it worked. At least something went somewhere.

    I get a good feeling about this. Money is important but it is only part of it.

    Soffy
     
  6. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

    :bump2:

    Anonycat, thanks for all you have done. You've asked for so little in return. The least we can do is give, even just a little, for your legal fund. :yes: :thumbsup:
     
  7. JustMe

    JustMe Patron Meritorious

    I made a small contribution dear Anonycat. I wish it could have been more.

    You are a lovely person with a good heart who has helped a lot of people to find their wings.

    And it was really nice chatting the other night.

    Don't forget to let me know when you are out this way again. And this time we will get together:)
     
  8. Purple Rain

    Purple Rain Crusader

    :woohoo: Hooray!! We've cracked the thousand!!

    :cheerleader:

    Thank you, Denise. And that was far from a small donation!
     
  9. Moosejewels

    Moosejewels Patron Meritorious

    I've read the thread. Haven't been able to determine if this a disconnection (Scientology) issue,
    or a case of spouse turned spitefull shithead low-life dork ? :confused2: Nonetheless, I feel for
    you my friend. My son has been at war with his own ex turned spitefill shithead low-life dork for
    some time now. Good luck. And may the karma wheel run over your ex.
     
  10. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    Thank you, Denise! And thank you for those very kind words. Thank you for talking to me the other night, your wonderful spirit was just what I needed. I will definitely let you know next time I am nearby. You'll be the first to know! :)

    :rose:
     
  11. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    Hi MJ,

    I had a bumpy start, but I'm feeling good enough to post more about what happened.

    The short version jumps to the end - the recent past. I have called my son pretty much every day for the past 4 years, since we first parted. I got him his own phone about a year ago. Suddenly, I could not reach him on his phone, and also his e-mail. I could not reach his mother by phone, text, or e-mail. Then it went from suspecting her of poor behavior, to worry, to more worry.

    Now, about 2 months have gone by. I called and also texted his mom, that this was way too long, and I'm really concerned. I let her know that I would call the police to do a Welfare Check (as they call them here), where the cops come by to see if you're okay/alive. The police called me back, and said that her place had a new tenant, and he'd been there 10 days. I asked them to please call the number which I had provided earlier, and they said they'd do that and call me right back.

    I texted the mother that the police were trying to check on their welfare, and they are trying to call you now, and to answer if you're able. She called the police back, and only said that our son is alright. The officer apologized for not having any authority to demand to know where he was. He told me my next call should be Child Protective Services, and I called them. It seems they only check for open cases, and documented cases of abuse where a file is active/open. There was no previous record, so I moved on.

    My attorney in California said that I need to find an attorney to file in the county where the child resides. He said that was because of jurisdiction.

    I was given this task: 1) Serve papers, 2) Mediation, 3) (Get the agreement approved by the) court.

    To quickly re-cap: Mother and child go missing and radio-silent. Mother has found to have re-located to a secret location. I'm an emotional mess. It is exactly then, I get an e-mail from the mother, with 2 documents for me to sign, or I don't get to see my son. I told her what I had been advised by 3 attorneys, and why not just do vacation plans as always? Nope, she said I have to sign. Then those documents (agreement) become law, and enforceable by law. To change them in the child's lifetime would be a "very high hurdle". So I understand that the custody agreement should be thought of within that scope of importance.

    There are words that describe that kind of maneuvering, but I'll avoid them here. I have always taken the high road, and have not fed her trolling in the past, but now I'm quickly put to task on something I never thought I'd have to do. But now I do. The mother has gone back to not responding to contact, and my son's phone is still turned off.

    The happy part is that this community, are not just some close friends, but very caring people. It's really hard going public with your private life, but this nice Israeli lady told me to pull myself together, have someone write the statement for a GoFundMe page, and get it the hell started. I think I was agonizing on the phone, and she said something like: I'm Israeli. We love to help, that's what we do. I thought: hell yeah, I've been feeling more than a little Israeli myself. I'll allow myself to be helped. As hard as it was, it was good to get past it, and now I'm blown away by my ... this community.

    It's hard to express, so I'll come back to this later.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  12. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    Special thank you to SecretiveOldFag for donating ~$150! It was donated without use of the dono site, so I'm thinking I need Doctor Watson to take that from the PayPal account and then deposit it on the page, so it'll show a correct tally, and I get to thank Soffy again on the page. :)
     
  13. X-Member-Hooray

    X-Member-Hooray Patron with Honors

    Hi AC,

    My Ex- hubby cleared off with my children aged 18 months and 4 years old. At least I knew where they were, which was with his family. However they were trying to discourage me from having contact with them as I was supposedly an incompetant parent. Anyway he ended up having them for six months and I tried to see them as much as possible on weekends.

    I think a lot of the reason for his behaviour was that he was half convinced I was an SP, greatly assisted by an SO ethics officer in Sydney who I wont name as he is on this site, who belittled me so much that hubby and I never communicated effectivley past that point. I was basically told I was sub-human as well as other things as I discouraged hubby from joining SO. Scientology has so much to answer for in regards to drive a wedge through peoples heart in matters such as this.

    Just wanted to say that it was the most painful six months of my life. I sincerely hope that this situation is resolved for you in the near future. I am sure your son respects and loves you, and you cant fool children too easily. I envisage he will be questioning the situation and eventually have the power to get back in touch. I firmly believe that if people do the wrong thing it will catch up with them over a period of time. You obviously have many friends here and I sincerely hope you will be able to get resolve this situation with a happy outcome to you both.


    XMH
     
  14. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    Hi X,

    First, this is not a cult-related abduction or disconnection. The rules are clear with that, and less so in this case. Scientology disconnection is brutal and vicious. This is why "This is Why" became a Chanology meme. And who can forget Tory's video in Boston, where she singled out Disconnection. I'm sorry you've had the same pain. Yes, my son loves me and respects me. And I know that he wants to be with me. He cried more than ever the last time we were together, when we had to part just over a year ago. He's always wanted to be with me, but that's another story.

    I am like you, and tend to believe that good things happen to good people, and as an ex once told me: "and if not, the universe is pretty *****d up!"

    Thank you for your kind wishes. I just want everyone to be happy too.
     
  15. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    I love this idea - but from what I've seen, a retainer is standard practice. It's like a trust fund, where the attorney draws from that as they go. This is also relevant; now that Karen's PI has provided the new city/county of residence, I will be looking at the possibility of changing attorneys, if it is frugal, effective, and local to the residence. I'll post what happens with that. Some retainers for this kind of thing could be $4k, so that's a new development. I will post and have the goal changed accordingly.

    The attorney I have had in mind did give a methodical plan, so that much is understood. And then there's this - I have been thinking about the possibility of the retainer goal not being met. The only thing I could think of was to post about it, and ask the guy: so I have X-amount of dollars. How much mileage can we get from that? And have him break down the filing fees, his projected time, and so on. If I understand correctly, things only get expensive when a party is being extremely difficult. I don't feel like this is one of those cases. I could be wrong, but I just don't think that's what will happen.

    So, if $5,000 is met, and $1,000 is left over? I had intended to post dox of: The PayPal account infos of Doctor Watson, less any identifying information. To post the billing from the attorney. And to post any excess, and what people want to do with it. That all feels pretty straightforward to me, but tell me what you think.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  16. Purple Rain

    Purple Rain Crusader

    My experience of attorneys is there is NEVER anything left over, and anything you can file yourself or any savings that can be made that way is definitely in the person's interests to do so - but that is in Australia. I have no experience with the US.
     
  17. programmer_guy

    programmer_guy True Ex-Scientologist

    Why did I make that suggestion?
    In my case the initial retainer wasn't nearly that high and I did pay some additional fees later, as the case progressed.


    Yes, "things only get expensive when a party is being extremely difficult" because they have the money to pay their attorney to do so. Otherwise, they won't. I agree.
     
  18. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    That was very reasonable of them.

    Yes, dragging things out is for the extremely silly.
     
  19. CO2

    CO2 Patron Meritorious

    Not to oppose what is happening here, but to maybe give the mother's side. - which in turn, might lead to a better understanding of how to approach her, even with legal action pending.

    In June of 1976, a friend and former girl friend of mine, told me that a couple we knew, were getting a divorce, and that the guy already had a new girl friend. I left the bedroom of my former girl friend, deciding to not start our relationship up again. I went home, and called the woman, in the couple, who were separating. This was a Tuesday. I called her and set a date for brunch on Sunday. We had champagne and Eggs Benedict at Clementine's in Stanford Shopping Center (where Stickney's used to be). After brunch, we went to Safeway, in Los Altos, and she bought about $250. worth of food. We went back to her house (which she shared with her husband). We scheduled another date to watch Roots together, at her house in Los Altos Hills, and then spend the night together. We had been friends for a decade, so it wasn't like we didn't know one another.

    We did this, and within another week, we were living together, with (her husband's and her) two boys, her husband's oldest son, and a foster child, who went to my wife's school.

    School was coming up, and I took her two little boys to Macy's and bought $500. worth of back to school clothing. Nobody asked me to do this. I didn't ask for reimbursement. My girl friend was a class Vlll, as was her husband. He had a very prosperous center in Palo Alto. I had worked in some of the incarnations mainly as an auditor, but in various other posts too. Some years earlier, for instance, I sold Matt Feshbach his first Scio book, which led to he and his brothers getting involved. They were just kids back then.

    About a week into our new relationship, her husband learned that I was no longer in good standing as a Scientologist. He raised a stink about his kids being raised by an SP. I went to ASHO, gave them some money, and shuffled and smiled, and handled the problem of my SPness.

    By the time September had rolled around, he had come to realize that we were both SPs, only undeclared. He cut off all support money for his kids, for his wife, period. We never saw another dime. Their boys were 3 and 6, his son was 14. The oldest boy moved back in with his dad and his new wife, but she sold the house, they went to Flag for a year or more, and he (the then 16 year old boy) was left literally on the front porch step, with nowhere but our house to go. He stayed until his last year of college. Guess who didn't contribute a penny.

    We didn't cut off visits with him. We were just as happy not having his money. With money comes control. We lived together for a couple of years before her divorce came through. Once she had the divorce, we got married, and had a baby sister for everybody.

    Over the years, now approaching forty, we've taken the kids skiing, surfing, rock climbing, to Hawaii, Europe, China, on runs like the Bay to Breakers, Disneyland, Hearst Castle, need I say more? he has taken them skiing a few times. I gave the oldest of my wife and her ex husband's boys, when he was about 12, a Ruger .22, and taught him how to shoot. His father couldn't buy him a knife and a gun fast enough. Imitation, being the highest form of compliment.

    Back in those days, we were all meat eaters. Our bill at Safeway every Sunday, with two carts filled, was about $250. every week. As odd as it may seem, mortgage payments weren't free. Clothing, and transportation cost money. Time spent on week ends being soccer mom and dad, rock climbing at Castle Rock and the Pinnacles took time. Climbing with the 12 year old 2,500 feet in Yosemite on the Two Sisters climb took time and money.

    Outfitting the kids for skiing wasn't cheap. Every year it is a new set of clothes, new boots, new skis. We never saw a penny from Mr. On Purpose.

    35 or more years later, the kids come to our house every Sunday for barbecue or dinner. They see their biological father as infrequently as they can.
    In 1980 or 81, he left the Co$ too, after spending over one hundred grand at Flag. We still never saw any child support payment ever, after the first month or two, when they were still married.

    My point is child raising is heavy time and money commitment. If you want the mother's help, you might aid her, where she needs help. Whether she asks or not. She can count the money in her wallet. She knows who is going to be dropping him at that pick up basketball game, at the movies with his friends, getting his braces adjusted. All of those things take time and money.

    I'm sorry if this comes across as Mr. Asshole, but there are no free rides. If you want the boy's love in thirty years, it may be what you do (or don't do ) now, not anything your kid's mom does.
     
  20. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Sort of like the co$, nothing ever left over . . . . Read that anyway you want. :biggrin:
    Lawyer shark jokes, co$ jokes, all coming from the same bucket, me thinks. :ohmy::unsure: :eyeroll: