Emma - this is not the most agenda free place in the Ex Anti Scientology internet world right now. Far from it.
You will have to look at what you allowed here and decide for yourself. You own the board. I have seen you kick people out of here for posts not even close to the crap you have allowed and defended (from Alanzo) lately.
Own it.
I have seen you kick others off, some friends of mine, when you were in one of your moods. For postings that were not attacking Ex Scientologists just did not fit with your agenda somehow. I am not going to dig them up. You know what you have done in the past when you get in your moods.Yet here you are, allowed to say whatever you want to as well. You don't see the irony in that do you.
I've got a HEAP of questions I'd love to ask this group, but I won't because while I like to pretend that I don't care what people think about me, underneath I probably do care. So those questions go unasked. But should that be the case? Should my fear of social rejection stop me asking questions about people and groups and organisations within this ecosystem that are tyrannical, broken and bordering on fraudulent? Because that's the truth!
Thank you for this post.Well, maybe you should.
It's obvious that you took at least some of Alanzo's "data" as true. Like the "Rinder ran OSA 22 years line".
This has been disputed by me and others who were actually there.
Let me repeat that. ACTUALLY THERE.
You obviously have some kind of information, or think you do.
We both know that Alanzo has made claims about things, like someone who supposedly worked for Rinder who never worked for Rinder, that are patently false. And that he refuses to retract even when the person involved - again, who was actually there - said it was false.
There's no actual data that Alanzo really knows anything about anything except what he's heard or been told or has decided on his own because it suits his agenda.
Anything he actually knows first hand.
If there is, I'd be happy to see it and retract what I'm saying if I'm wrong.
So, whatever it is you're sitting on, do you really know, 100%, that it's even true?
As long as it's this mystery thing you're sitting on, we'll never know, will we?
You are full of misinformation and disinformation, Lulu.Well, maybe you should.
It's obvious that you took at least some of Alanzo's "data" as true. Like the "Rinder ran OSA 22 years line".
This has been disputed by me and others who were actually there.
Let me repeat that. ACTUALLY THERE.
You obviously have some kind of information, or think you do.
We both know that Alanzo has made claims about things, like someone who supposedly worked for Rinder who never worked for Rinder, that are patently false. And that he refuses to retract even when the person involved - again, who was actually there - said it was false.
There's no actual data that Alanzo really knows anything about anything except what he's heard or been told or has decided on his own because it suits his agenda.
Anything he actually knows first hand.
If there is, I'd be happy to see it and retract what I'm saying if I'm wrong.
So, whatever it is you're sitting on, do you really know, 100%, that it's even true?
As long as it's this mystery thing you're sitting on, we'll never know, will we?
What have YOU done to protect people from the harm Scientology does to them Alanzo?You are full of misinformation and disinformation, Lulu.
You want to know who was THERE for Mike Rinder's career?
Not you.
But Mike Rinder was. Here's what Mike Rinder says about his own career:
"For most of the time between 1982 and 2007 I was a senior official in the Church of Scientology International (CSI), the so-called mother church of Scientology. I was on the Board of Directors of CSI from its inception in 1982 until I left in 2007.'"During the majority of the time between 1982 and 2007 I was the most senior official within CSI responsible for “external affairs”, meaning government and media relations, investigations and intelligence operations, as well as all litigation and contract matters. This function is performed by the Office of Special Affairs (“OSA”) and I was the head of OSA for most of this time."- Mike Rinder Texas Declaration
https://www.mikerindersblog.org/mike-rinder-texas-declaration/
And why would Mike Rinder have this up on his own blog? Why should we take your spotty memory, which even you admit comes never from working with Mike Rinder anywhere in OSA, but your own spotty memory? You ever never THERE, Lulu.
But Mike WAS.
Ha! My sig line as the board marches off into the history books!Not everyone thinks the same as everyone else, and unless new ideas are introduced, nobody is made to think again. Group think rules unless there is agitation.
Well, Emma, you tried. All I can say is that is one helluva FAILED experiment. The experiment being, "What would happen if I un-banned every asshole who has ever messed up ESMB or interfered with its good intentions and just allowed complete free speech, assholes and all (except I kinda like one certain asshole, he's a special friend because you know, he was there at the beginning and everything after the first few years doesn't matter, because he said all the right things when I was going through a tough time... yadda yadda)"...No, Emma is responsible for providing an agenda free platform for the last weeks of ESMB where the shackles are removed and people can float their ideas to the market.
I've got news for you. Not everyone thinks the same as everyone else, and unless new ideas are introduced, nobody is made to think again. Group think rules unless there is agitation.
I've got a HEAP of questions I'd love to ask this group, but I won't because while I like to pretend that I don't care what people think about me, underneath I probably do care. So those questions go unasked. But should that be the case? Should my fear of social rejection stop me asking questions about people and groups and organisations within this ecosystem that are tyrannical, broken and bordering on fraudulent? Because that's the truth! And that's a USA vs Russia scenario that I floated earlier. Do you ask or not ask? Do you risk more chaos by asking questions or revealing outnesses or do you shut your mouth and hope that it all works out?
Alanzo seems to absolutely not care about friendships and reputation so asks all the bad questions, and cops the repercussions. That's his choice. It's not like anyone doesn't refute him (or send around financial documents). That is the cost.
Also where have I "shot anyone down" who tells me I've gone too far? Evidence please.
Well, Emma, you tried. All I can say is that is one helluva FAILED experiment. The experiment being, "What would happen if I un-banned every asshole who has ever messed up ESMB or interfered with its good intentions and just allowed complete free speech, assholes and all (except I kinda like one certain asshole, he's a special friend because you know, he was there at the beginning and everything after the first few years doesn't matter, because he said all the right things when I was going through a tough time... yadda yadda)"...
Yeh well, getting back to the experiment, without your weird intimacy without physical intimacy with the armadillo:
So forgedaboudat. (I am pushing words together because for some reason your friend Alanzo has some sort of mental block on that and I get a kick out of it, that's mischief, not the least bit comparable to his nasty allegations and 50 year old pics against the much-loved Karen De La Carriere) let's get back to your disgusting social experiment.
Because that's what it was. Let's set the rest aside. Social experiment done on people who trusted you. Who considered you someone who stood for something, who was against the abuses of Scientology. Let's call a Spade a Spade here. People looked up to you because you made a safe space for people to land and learn things who were leaving Scientology. Then you used us as your fucking guinea pigs for your "anything goes" social experiment...going off on this "Free Speech! ESMB is all about Free Speech for Everyone!" bullshit, but yet you kept the rules there as if they meant something. Talk about passive-aggressive, that just takes the cake.
WTF.
Maybe you meant well, but you know, it doesn't look that way from a dozen viewpoints. (You know.. the blind people perceiving the elephant from different views that Alanzo couldn't understand?).
But I like you, or I wouldn't even bother to write this and let you know how the fuck you look right now. And I hereby give my PERSONAL PERMISSION for you to delete this within three hours of my posting this (or later) and that is okay with me, because this is to YOU, Emma. You're not exactly good about answering PMs or I'd have tried that instead. Another
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT CONDUCTED ON ESMB:
This is a double-blind experiment where the participants are not aware that they are being studied. Emma is going to drop all the rules on ESMB even though she posted them, and let all troublemakers back in the final weeks and see what kind of fireworks go on. In addition, Emma will have a personal friend who is the key troublemaker on ESMB and be on the sidelines cheering and supporting the troublemaker. In her own words, Emma is going to "go out with a bang."
Emma lets all supporters who weren't there in the first few years know that they have virtually no value to her. The only ones that matter are the ones that started ESMB there with her that were there within the first three years. Hell, don't even bother with anyone's stories after that. Nobody else matters. Nobody who supported ESMB for the last eight years matters. Let them have shit thrown at them and just let it ride, and let the shitthrowers keep rolling. Who the hell needed those supporters anyway. It's not about abuses or what we went through at COS. No, now the subject has changed and it is about "free speech." What the hell, who cares, anyway, right Emma?
So what happens with completely "free speech," M? What happens when you publish one set of rules and then switch to "no rules"?
Fights. Upsets. Turmoil. Destruction of the support that ESMBers has provided for so many years and false information spread rampantly throughout ESMB. Defamation and libel against key critics.
Anarchy.
Why?
Because that's what happens in an anarchy. Not love, not truth, not compassion, not understanding. Fighting and upsets. Is that your legacy?
That's the result of your experiment. Or holding Admin for three weeks while being completely irresponsible for it after your announcement, or whatever the hell you've been doing. Chaos. Turmoil. Upset. Hurt feelings. Destruction. Providing a platform to backstab those who supported you for years. Geez, Emma. Three weeks. Not that long. Nobody wanted the place after you let Alanzo in, can you blame them?
Let's get real. You started ESMB. You were Admin and now you are again. But it was those who posted on ESMB with their stories and personal revelations that made it special. It was the talents, intelligence and giving nature of Glenda, HelluvaHoax, FreetoShine, Dulloldfart, RogerB, Karen#1, Type_4_PTS, Udarnik, Veda, Lulu Belle, Warrior, Outethicsofficer, Carmel, Enthetan, The_Fixer, and hundreds of others that made ESMB wonderful. You just provided the platform. You never wrote anything wonderful like they did. People responded because they gave their hearts to their writings and actions. They poured out their souls and spirits and personal memories in the precious things they wrote here.
There was a time you gave your heart to ESMB, too.
But what you never, ever did - you never said THANK YOU, YOU GUYS WERE FUCKING AMAZING! IT WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED WITHOUT YOU.
Never. Never in any interview or post. Never. Instead - when we should have been hugging and celebrating and having a great time and enjoying each others' company, you gave us Alanzo and let him rip each of us and all the good ESMB has done for years. Shades of L Ron, you sue hurt a lot of feelings here.
Say thank you. Show some appreciation and consideration for those who supported you and spent so many hours documenting, exposing and helping. Let us enjoy ourselves. Admit your mistake. It was a failed experiment and I have no idea wtf you were thinking, but it didn't work, and I am one person of many who is both hurt and pissed off at you.
(and DON'T send your cleaning man or some other runner to answer this for you, lol, I joke about the Cleaner)
Maybe that wasn't enough for you. Maybe I never wrote anything extraordinary, or maybe you forgot. I don't know. But I'm grateful and always have been for the contributors.I have not done this alone. I'd especially like to thank Ethercat and Mick for bearing so much of the strain when I couldn't. Also the moderators who helped out tremendously when the post count got so high I couldn't manage on my own. They may not want to be named but you know who you are. The donors who kept it afloat. The posters who have stuck around with me from the very early days and welcomed all subsequent newcomers. Everyone who has ever posted to ESMB has contributed in some way to this community. Thank you - all of you.
Res ipsa loquiturWell I'm glad you are also free to speak your truth Sheila and Lulu Belle. I won't be deleting anything. This is turning out to be exactly as expected. This is what happens when a group who think they are unshakable in their beliefs have their beliefs shaken. This is what happens when everyone is given a platform, drama ensues. People go nuts.
Maybe it was a social experiment, but I didn't conceive of it as such. I wanted to go out with all opinions freely expressed.
Maybe you missed this in my opening thread when I said "goodbye".
Maybe that wasn't enough for you. Maybe I never wrote anything extraordinary, or maybe you forgot. I don't know. But I'm grateful and always have been for the contributors.
You called me evil and hateful recently. That's ok, because it's your opinion and you are welcomed to express it.
I have found out that certain friends only remain friends if you stick to the script and act according to the plan. In that case they are not my friends and never were. I've found out through all this who my friends actually are and for that I'm grateful.
Thank you for your response.Well I'm glad you are also free to speak your truth Sheila and Lulu Belle. I won't be deleting anything. This is turning out to be exactly as expected. This is what happens when a group who think they are unshakable in their beliefs have their beliefs shaken. This is what happens when everyone is given a platform, drama ensues. People go nuts.
Maybe it was a social experiment, but I didn't conceive of it as such. I wanted to go out with all opinions freely expressed.
Maybe you missed this in my opening thread when I said "goodbye".
Maybe that wasn't enough for you. Maybe I never wrote anything extraordinary, or maybe you forgot. I don't know. But I'm grateful and always have been for the contributors.
You called me evil and hateful recently. That's ok, because it's your opinion and you are welcomed to express it.
I have found out that certain friends only remain friends if you stick to the script and act according to the plan. In that case they are not my friends and never were. I've found out through all this who my friends actually are and for that I'm grateful.
Well I'm glad you are also free to speak your truth Sheila and Lulu Belle. I won't be deleting anything. This is turning out to be exactly as expected. This is what happens when a group who think they are unshakable in their beliefs have their beliefs shaken. This is what happens when everyone is given a platform, drama ensues. People go nuts.
Maybe it was a social experiment, but I didn't conceive of it as such. I wanted to go out with all opinions freely expressed.
Maybe you missed this in my opening thread when I said "goodbye".
Maybe that wasn't enough for you. Maybe I never wrote anything extraordinary, or maybe you forgot. I don't know. But I'm grateful and always have been for the contributors.
You called me evil and hateful recently. That's ok, because it's your opinion and you are welcomed to express it.
I have found out that certain friends only remain friends if you stick to the script and act according to the plan. In that case they are not my friends and never were. I've found out through all this who my friends actually are and for that I'm grateful.
This is quite a post !Well, Emma, you tried. All I can say is that is one helluva FAILED experiment. The experiment being, "What would happen if I un-banned every asshole who has ever messed up ESMB or interfered with its good intentions and just allowed complete free speech, assholes and all (except I kinda like one certain asshole, he's a special friend because you know, he was there at the beginning and everything after the first few years doesn't matter, because he said all the right things when I was going through a tough time... yadda yadda)"...
Yeh well, getting back to the experiment, without your weird intimacy without physical intimacy with the armadillo:
So forgedaboudat. (I am pushing words together because for some reason your friend Alanzo has some sort of mental block on that and I get a kick out of it, that's mischief, not the least bit comparable to his nasty allegations and 50 year old pics against the much-loved Karen De La Carriere) let's get back to your disgusting social experiment.
Because that's what it was. Let's set the rest aside. Social experiment done on people who trusted you. Who considered you someone who stood for something, who was against the abuses of Scientology. Let's call a Spade a Spade here. People looked up to you because you made a safe space for people to land and learn things who were leaving Scientology. Then you used us as your fucking guinea pigs for your "anything goes" social experiment...going off on this "Free Speech! ESMB is all about Free Speech for Everyone!" bullshit, but yet you kept the rules there as if they meant something. Talk about passive-aggressive, that just takes the cake.
WTF.
Maybe you meant well, but you know, it doesn't look that way from a dozen viewpoints. (You know.. the blind people perceiving the elephant from different views that Alanzo couldn't understand?).
But I like you, or I wouldn't even bother to write this and let you know how the fuck you look right now. And I hereby give my PERSONAL PERMISSION for you to delete this within three hours of my posting this (or later) and that is okay with me, because this is to YOU, Emma. You're not exactly good about answering PMs or I'd have tried that instead. Another
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT CONDUCTED ON ESMB:
This is a double-blind experiment where the participants are not aware that they are being studied. Emma is going to drop all the rules on ESMB even though she posted them, and let all troublemakers back in the final weeks and see what kind of fireworks go on. In addition, Emma will have a personal friend who is the key troublemaker on ESMB and be on the sidelines cheering and supporting the troublemaker. In her own words, Emma is going to "go out with a bang."
Emma lets all supporters who weren't there in the first few years know that they have virtually no value to her. The only ones that matter are the ones that started ESMB there with her that were there within the first three years. Hell, don't even bother with anyone's stories after that. Nobody else matters. Nobody who supported ESMB for the last eight years matters. Let them have shit thrown at them and just let it ride, and let the shitthrowers keep rolling. Who the hell needed those supporters anyway. It's not about abuses or what we went through at COS. No, now the subject has changed and it is about "free speech." What the hell, who cares, anyway, right Emma?
So what happens with completely "free speech," M? What happens when you publish one set of rules and then switch to "no rules"?
Fights. Upsets. Turmoil. Destruction of the support that ESMBers has provided for so many years and false information spread rampantly throughout ESMB. Defamation and libel against key critics.
Anarchy.
Why?
Because that's what happens in an anarchy. Not love, not truth, not compassion, not understanding. Fighting and upsets. Is that your legacy?
That's the result of your experiment. Or holding Admin for three weeks while being completely irresponsible for it after your announcement, or whatever the hell you've been doing. Chaos. Turmoil. Upset. Hurt feelings. Destruction. Providing a platform to backstab those who supported you for years. Geez, Emma. Three weeks. Not that long. Nobody wanted the place after you let Alanzo in, can you blame them?
Let's get real. You started ESMB. You were Admin and now you are again. But it was those who posted on ESMB with their stories and personal revelations that made it special. It was the talents, intelligence and giving nature of Glenda, HelluvaHoax, FreetoShine, Dulloldfart, RogerB, Karen#1, Type_4_PTS, Udarnik, Veda, Lulu Belle, Warrior, Outethicsofficer, Carmel, Enthetan, The_Fixer, and hundreds of others that made ESMB wonderful. You just provided the platform. You never wrote anything wonderful like they did. People responded because they gave their hearts to their writings and actions. They poured out their souls and spirits and personal memories in the precious things they wrote here.
There was a time you gave your heart to ESMB, too.
But what you never, ever did - you never said THANK YOU, YOU GUYS WERE FUCKING AMAZING! IT WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED WITHOUT YOU.
Never. Never in any interview or post. Never. Instead - when we should have been hugging and celebrating and having a great time and enjoying each others' company, you gave us Alanzo and let him rip each of us and all the good ESMB has done for years. Shades of L Ron, you sue hurt a lot of feelings here.
Say thank you. Show some appreciation and consideration for those who supported you and spent so many hours documenting, exposing and helping. Let us enjoy ourselves. Admit your mistake. It was a failed experiment and I have no idea wtf you were thinking, but it didn't work, and I am one person of many who is both hurt and pissed off at you.
(and DON'T send your cleaning man or some other runner to answer this for you, lol, I joke about the Cleaner)
it’s not about killing anything really. It’s about being free and unrestricted. I tried to keep everything right on script for a over a decade, even when I didn’t like it.
When politics is the dominant subject on a message board for exes you know time is up. Rather than go out with the same old same old I thought fuck it, let’s let it all hang out. I didn’t know who would post or what would be posted, but rather just let it happen.
Nothing can change the 45k threads about the abuses of Scientology, the humour, the love, the hate that we’ve lived and experienced over the years.
Maybe I am selfish for wanting a Big Bang at the end, but I’ve found it stimulating and eye opening in a lot of ways.
I know I’m no longer a good person in the eyes of many. It’s something I can live with.
As for being mad, I did warn you right back at the beginning of August that life events had changed me and I didn’t want to confirm to a “standard” anymore and that I’m going to do and say what I feel is real and meaningful to me. The freedom to disagree is strong in me and also others it would seem.
So yeah, my fuck you attitude is alive and well.
You’ve always been honest with me Trouble and I count you as a friend. I hope that doesn’t now make you a social pariahs.