Out for years - it's taken this long to post here

Wilbur

Patron Meritorious
Hi All,

I've been reading ESMB and other sites for years now, but never got around to joining and posting my story. I've been thinking of posting for the last couple of days, and so here I am....

I'll get around to posting my full story soon, but for now here's a thumbnail sketch:

I got into Scn at around the age of 16, after getting a leaflet shoved into my hand about Dianetics, and subsequently buying the book. Did a couple of courses (the How to Achieve Effective Communication Course - a forerunner of the Success Through Communication Course), hesitated, left for about a year, then went back. I ended up joining staff and working in Div 6 briefly. I quickly got sick of the working conditions (living on £3.50 per week, which was more or less what I earned most weeks) and asked to route off. In response, I was asked to join the TTC (Tech. Training Corps) and train up to Grad V. I knew it was off policy, but I was there for the auditor training and auditing, so I went for it. Did up to Class 3 at St. Hill, then got ripped off of that to go to ITO (International Training Org) to train as a Key to Life Review Auditor. Finished up to class 4 there, and did KTL/LOC and the review auditor training. Got back to my org, and then left staff within a month or two. I stayed onlines (sort of) as a public after that, but then after a couple of years I decided to have a peek at the OT levels online, and showed them to some others in a similar situation to me (who were also doing the hokey cokey with respect to whether to stay onlines. I eventually got declared for this. I'll tell you what happened when I eventually decided to audit the OT levels myself at home in a later post....

A couple of random thoughts: (1) After getting off staff, I attended several events. I remember attending the "War is Over" event. When Miscavige issued the punchline, people were clapping and cheering. I remember thinking "what the hell has this got to do with spirituality? Tax exemption? Really?" It really got me thinking carefully about what I was doing in there.
(2) At one event in St. Hill, an old friend of mine who was in the SO proudly brought over a Class XII auditor to talk to me. I think he was expecting me to be in awe, and to sign up for some big service, or something. Instead, I went right down her throat. About how the Church was scamming people, didn't care about spiritual progress, all about the money, so many injustices, etc etc. I fully expected to be marched out of St. Hill. Instead, I was startled to see that the Class XII couldn't handle me. She had no idea how to respond to me. With hindsight, I suppose it was because, being from Flag, she must have seen many ludicrous cycles take place, in which people had been fleeced or whatever; she could probably see my point.

OK, that's a thumbnail sketch. There's a lot more detail, and I will try to tell my story bit by bit in another thread later.

Wilbur (not my real name).
 

Wilbur

Patron Meritorious
By the way, it's interesting how the thought control of the church can still linger on (even if you think you no longer have any). Although I long since reached the stage of knowing I would never go back to the church, I still found myself hesitating about posting over the last couple of days. It's not going to be too hard for OSA to figure out who I am from the details I have already posted (I must have narrowed it down to about 3 people already for them, and if I tell you which UK org, it will be enough to identify me). I realise that OSA have a lot on their hands now dealing with attackers, and probably don't care much about people merely telling their story, but the thought of being 'fair gamed' still made me hesitate. I don't really care whether they can identify me, but there was still a sort of automatic, uninspected hesitation about it. It's a similar feeling to the one I had when I first decided to look at the OT levels, and the same again when I decided to audit them. A feeling of impending doom. But I feel better for having taken the plunge.

W.
 

Wilbur

Patron Meritorious
I hope I'm not breaching any forum etiquette replying to my own thread so many times, but here's another random thought. I was pondering last night about people whom I know that have left Scn, and about the church's line to them when they are trying to dissuade them from leaving (you'll fail; you'll die; you'll lose your eternity; etc). I was mentally mocking up a hypothetical situation of someone who had left staff or the SO after many years, and then ending up flipping burgers at Mcdonald's at the age of 55. Actually, I was thinking about a post on ESMB or Clambake, where someone had mentioned that a long-time SO member from St. Hill, Frank O'Sullivan, had blown at one time, and then gotten recovered. Frank must be in his late 50s or early 60s now, I guess, and still in the SO at St. Hill, and I was pondering over what would happen if someone like him left.

I imagined a situation where someone like him left, and was flipping burgers to survive at the age of 60. The church would laugh at him, and say "look what happens when you leave". But there's another way of looking at it, more accurate, which is: "look what happens when you devote 35 years of your life to the Sea Org". I can't think of any other organisation that would see it as a badge of honour that their ex-members were failing. Most organisations involved in improving people (say, colleges or universities) see it as their own failure when an alumnus fails in life. And take reflected glory when their ex-members do well in life. I think this is one distinguishing mark of a cult. And it's particularly telling in the case of a cult that is also a SCIENCE. The tech of winning in life should work whether you apply it to being on staff, or to doing something else with your life post-Scientology. So it's quite ironic that the church should implicitly take the position that their SCIENCE only works if you are standing on one leg, whispering a particular mantra, whilst trying not to think of the colour blue (or, in plainer terms, being 'onlines').

Sorry if my posts are a bit verbose! It's just that having pricked the balloon, I now find all kinds of random thoughts gushing forth....

W.
 

hummingbird

Patron with Honors
Yo, Wilbur! Welcome!

We likes storeez. Bring 'em on.

:drama:

It's not going to be too hard for OSA to figure out who I am from the details I have already posted (I must have narrowed it down to about 3 people already for them, and if I tell you which UK org, it will be enough to identify me).

This made me snicker. The Co$ is sooooo smallllll that the sketchy details that you provided narrow it down to only three peeps???

:roflmao:
 

Knows

Gold Meritorious Patron
By the way, it's interesting how the thought control of the church can still linger on (even if you think you no longer have any). Although I long since reached the stage of knowing I would never go back to the church, I still found myself hesitating about posting over the last couple of days. It's not going to be too hard for OSA to figure out who I am from the details I have already posted (I must have narrowed it down to about 3 people already for them, and if I tell you which UK org, it will be enough to identify me). I realise that OSA have a lot on their hands now dealing with attackers, and probably don't care much about people merely telling their story, but the thought of being 'fair gamed' still made me hesitate. I don't really care whether they can identify me, but there was still a sort of automatic, uninspected hesitation about it. It's a similar feeling to the one I had when I first decided to look at the OT levels, and the same again when I decided to audit them. A feeling of impending doom. But I feel better for having taken the plunge.

W.

Welcome Wilbur!!

:dancer::dancer::dancer::cheerleader::cheerleader::cheerleader::hifive::hifive::hifive::thankyou::thankyou::hattip::hattip::buzzin::buzzin::buzzin::hifive::hifive::hifive::party::party::party::party::party::wave::sing::woohoo::woohoo:



Fuck OSA! :angry:

Glad you are out!!

I am surprized that Class Umpteen Auditor did not pull your crimes....LOL Just kidding!!

Have fun - speak freely - you are FREE!!

Here is a website to help you understand how important it is to get the lingo out of your mind as well as the "implanted" suggestions you got from Scientology.

http://openmindsfoundation.org/explaining-undue-influence/what-is-undue-influence
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
I hope I'm not breaching any forum etiquette replying to my own thread so many times

It's your thread. Post as much as you like. Let the floodgates open. On my 30th anniversary of leaving the cult (Jan 2015) I created my own lengthy thread with a very verbose account of all the gory details. I wanted to get it all out of my head plus leave it for posterity.
 

Wilbur

Patron Meritorious
Thanks for all the warm words of welcome folks.

I'm going to start telling my story piece by piece. I'm not going to start at the beginning. This instalment starts where I had already left staff, and was about to download the OT materials from the web. I'll post the first piece here, and also in the Stories forum, and then continue the rest in the Stories forum. Here goes....

Finding the OT Levels

OK, so, I had been off staff for a few years, and paid off a £12,000+ freeloader bill. I would go into the Org now and again, and had about £2,000 in my account. Being in need of a stat one week, someone in the Org decided that I needed a Sec Check, which, coincidentally, ended up using the £2,000 I had in my account. At the time, I knew I didn’t need a Sec Check, but decided that the tech people knew best, and went along with it. Anyway, there came a point in the Sec Check, as I was starting to feel worse and worse, when it suddenly occurred to me that the Church might not actually be capable of getting me ‘up the Bridge’. That started a chain of thought rolling.

Meanwhile, having extricated myself partially from Org life, I had managed to get myself back on track with my wog life somewhat, by going to university (I had abandoned a place at university previously to join staff). (Hummingbird: there – I’ve narrowed it down from 3 to 1 :p)

Sitting in the university computer room, with the Fishman documents in front of me on the screen, I had OTI to OTVIII links, plus other confidential stuff, begging me to open them. I took a deep breath. Inserted a floppy disk into the computer’s disk drive, and then paused. “Once I click on these, it’s going to take them maybe an hour to get to me. OK, Go!!!” I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t have time to read them there before they got to me somehow, so I downloaded them to the floppy, and then dumped the entire set of files to a dot matrix printer in the next room. I then took the floppy, and the printout (several hundred pages, including the pages and pages and pages of OTII implant platens) and rushed out of the building. My heart pounded all the way home. I didn’t really think they would physically come for me, but I had thought that they might somehow be able to detect that I was downloading them, and stop the download, or SOMETHING. Or perhaps they WOULD come for me.

Reading the OT levels was a whole thing in itself. I wasn’t too worried about OTI, but II and III had me really scared. I spent a whole afternoon with OTIII. Read one line, pause, wait, “am I still OK?” Then read the next line, heart pounding. I got through the story of Xenu like that. When I got to the technical stuff (I won’t give the details here) I was really panicking, and I did feel a little unwell (but I’ll tell you more about what happened to me after reading it in a later post). In the end, I just COULDN’T READ the details of the incidents, on that day. I really felt like it was possible I would cave in and die.

Later that evening, I rushed to a friend’s place of work (he worked night shift). He was ex-SO, and disaffected with the local org, and read the stuff with fascination. I would later show two or three other almost-exes the same materials.

More later….
 

scooter

Gold Meritorious Patron
:wave: Wilbur - we probably crossed paths in the 1990 ITO KTL/LOC training debacle.:yes:

"Coming out" as a former cultie is incredibly liberating and empowering so enjoy the experience - it's a fun ride to finally strike back at the Toxic Cult.:woohoo:

Don't worry too much about OSA - these days they have too much to do trying to just get SOME stats happening to actually do their "job.":roflmao:

That's when they haven't been dragged into all-hand of various kinds.:hysterical:

FUCK YOU, OSA !!!

Poor overworked maggots. :devil:
 

ThetanExterior

Gold Meritorious Patron
<snip> Actually, I was thinking about a post on ESMB or Clambake, where someone had mentioned that a long-time SO member from St. Hill, Frank O'Sullivan, had blown at one time, and then gotten recovered. Frank must be in his late 50s or early 60s now, I guess, and still in the SO at St. Hill, and I was pondering over what would happen if someone like him left.

<snip>

Here is a recent youtube video of Frank O'Sullivan and Linda Jones.

Frank is the uncle of Claire Headley, wife of Marc "Blown For Good" Headley.

https://youtu.be/HWzKu7FMeBk
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation


Welcome Wilbur.

I'm so glad you have joined us ... may you never be the same again!

:welcome2::welcome2::welcome2::welcome2::welcome2:

Don't worry about spilling the beans about the oatee levels here either, say whatever you like ... the full insane story is already posted all over the place and none of us have dropped dead with pneumonia (LOL!) and none of us will.
 

Mick Wenlock

Admin Emeritus (retired)
By the way, it's interesting how the thought control of the church can still linger on (even if you think you no longer have any). Although I long since reached the stage of knowing I would never go back to the church, I still found myself hesitating about posting over the last couple of days. It's not going to be too hard for OSA to figure out who I am from the details I have already posted (I must have narrowed it down to about 3 people already for them, and if I tell you which UK org, it will be enough to identify me). I realise that OSA have a lot on their hands now dealing with attackers, and probably don't care much about people merely telling their story, but the thought of being 'fair gamed' still made me hesitate. I don't really care whether they can identify me, but there was still a sort of automatic, uninspected hesitation about it. It's a similar feeling to the one I had when I first decided to look at the OT levels, and the same again when I decided to audit them. A feeling of impending doom. But I feel better for having taken the plunge.

W.

The fear takes a long time to let go. It is weird now that i look at it with 26 years of separation but I have seen ordinary good guys turned into abject individuals merely because someone contacted them and made them feel they were being 'watched". It takes a conscious act of will to actually look at the information and realize that it is a wonderful piece of psychological bluster - and that is all it is - wind and fury signifying nothing.

It is strange indeed that the biggest "threat" that these twats have is the embarrassment of having been in their insane little cult.

And there are some very important things to bear in mind - Scientology is very small. it is one of the worst equipped organizations in history and it follows insane policies.
 
Last edited:

Wilbur

Patron Meritorious
:wave: Wilbur - we probably crossed paths in the 1990 ITO KTL/LOC training debacle.:yes:

Scooter,

Yes, we probably did. I guess I was at ITO for about 3 months. I'll tell my story about ITO a bit later. Maybe you'll recognise something. Looking at your name, I'm wondering whether you had/have a beard? I didn't pay too much attention to people's names while I was at ITO, but when I look at your name I remember a time when one of the course sups was giving some kind of speech in the course room, and someone needed an exam. A bearded guy gave them an exam in the courseroom while the speech was going on, and indicated the F/N by moving his finger back and forth like an F/N, so as not to disturb what the sup was saying. He used to wear those leather ties that some Americans wear, that look like something a cowboy would wear - I forget what they are called. Does that sound like it might have been you by any chance, or am I way off?

I remember this tall black guy called Al was one of the course sups, and a skinny pale-faced woman whose name eludes me.

W.
 

Irayam

Patron with Honors
Hi Wilbur! And:welcome2:

I was mentally mocking up a hypothetical situation of someone who had left staff or the SO after many years, and then ending up flipping burgers at Mcdonald's at the age of 55.

About this hypothetical situation where someone is flipping burgers... Anyway, it's a better position than to be in the SO!

All the best!

Irayam
 

Wilbur

Patron Meritorious


Welcome Wilbur.

I'm so glad you have joined us ... may you never be the same again!

:welcome2::welcome2::welcome2::welcome2::welcome2:

Don't worry about spilling the beans about the oatee levels here either, say whatever you like ... the full insane story is already posted all over the place and none of us have dropped dead with pneumonia (LOL!) and none of us will.

Thanks Trouble. Yeah, I was a bit hesitant about giving details of the OT levels in posts, simply because there are probably those who are still 'in' reading this board, and they might not appreciate reading the stuff by accident. But I guess they can always stop reading a post if they don't want to see the details. Posting on this board has really brought back memories and stirred stuff up. I found myself missing the church last night, hahaha, so I think posting about it is a bit like therapy - my mind seems to be sorting through stuff that it hadn't dealt with for years.

W.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

--snipped--

... the church's line to them when they are trying to dissuade them from leaving (you'll fail; you'll die; you'll lose your eternity; etc). I was mentally mocking up a hypothetical situation of someone who had left staff or the SO after many years, and then ending up flipping burgers at Mcdonald's at the age of 55.


What OSA wants staff members to think will happen if they leave. . .

75fc886593f7cc8a93133fd504abd9ae.jpg




HELPFUL UPDATE: Any problems having to do with Burgers, Bullbaiting & BTs. That has never happened. Ever. LOL
 
Top