Hey there - I'm in need of advice about something that's going on...
The back story: so my parents are (since last week) at Flag; my mom is routing back on to OT5, my dad back onto OT 7 after a long break. A week before they left she and I had lunch. She's the only one in my family that I'm semi-out to as an ex-scientologist. I'm usually careful what I say around my family but lately it has been getting harder to keep my real feelings in.
Anyway, we ended up having a conversation (our second or third) about - very vaguely - my "disagreements" with the church. I usually try to stick to concrete examples, because she's still one of those "I know the tech works I've seen it and experienced it" types so I want to stay in shallow water. However, she did express her disgust at the way some ex-sea org relatives of ours were offloaded and said that she'd gone up-lines about it when it happened (here I should mention that my parents are both 40 year-plus scientologists, in good standing, pillars of the community, la da da). We both agreed how fucked it is that whenever someone we know goes into the sea org we basically never see them again. I mentioned that I've been reading books from reputable writers who are critical of scientology, namely Lawrence Wright, and that the fact checking in that book is beyond reproach so I have no reason to disbelieve it. I specifically mentioned the fact that the outpoints in the sea org don't happen in a vacuum and lead me to believe that the upper management is doing a horrible job. We ended on good terms though not, of course, seeing eye to eye.
Okay to the point: yesterday I got a phone call from her at Flag in which, apropos of nothing, she mentioned how much she "enjoyed" our conversation. I said I thought it was super awkward but that I was glad that I could be honest with her. Then she oh-so casually asked the names of the books I've been reading. Hackles went up on my end. I said, "Did someone there ask you to ask me that? Because that's really weird," and she said "No! I'm asking because I'd like to read them." Er. WTF. I had no idea what to do so I just gave her Urban's, Wright's and Jenna Miscavige's titles and she rang off. But COME ON. I mean, there's no way that she's at Flag and just happens to feel like picking up a little light anti-scientology reading, right? After we hung up I realized, duh, there's probably a sec check before routing back on to an OT level and it came up there.
So my question is... what the hell happens now? I'm correct that's she was lying when she said no one there asked her the names of the books, right? And if so, what can I expect the outcome of this to be? Will it just be fair roads fair weather from my parents from now on (which I really loathe)? Has anyone been in a similar situation as this? I should say also I almost welcome the shit hitting the fan at this point because I'm so sick of the lies and denial. And I'm not scared of disconnection either because my parents are REALLY family-oriented, and, well, I have something the church can't give them - I'm having their first grandkid in a month (is it so fucked that I think this way?)
Argh. Anyway. Sorry for the super-long post...I feel like this is the only place I can express my real feelings. Thanks for reading and for any advice you can offer.
The back story: so my parents are (since last week) at Flag; my mom is routing back on to OT5, my dad back onto OT 7 after a long break. A week before they left she and I had lunch. She's the only one in my family that I'm semi-out to as an ex-scientologist. I'm usually careful what I say around my family but lately it has been getting harder to keep my real feelings in.
Anyway, we ended up having a conversation (our second or third) about - very vaguely - my "disagreements" with the church. I usually try to stick to concrete examples, because she's still one of those "I know the tech works I've seen it and experienced it" types so I want to stay in shallow water. However, she did express her disgust at the way some ex-sea org relatives of ours were offloaded and said that she'd gone up-lines about it when it happened (here I should mention that my parents are both 40 year-plus scientologists, in good standing, pillars of the community, la da da). We both agreed how fucked it is that whenever someone we know goes into the sea org we basically never see them again. I mentioned that I've been reading books from reputable writers who are critical of scientology, namely Lawrence Wright, and that the fact checking in that book is beyond reproach so I have no reason to disbelieve it. I specifically mentioned the fact that the outpoints in the sea org don't happen in a vacuum and lead me to believe that the upper management is doing a horrible job. We ended on good terms though not, of course, seeing eye to eye.
Okay to the point: yesterday I got a phone call from her at Flag in which, apropos of nothing, she mentioned how much she "enjoyed" our conversation. I said I thought it was super awkward but that I was glad that I could be honest with her. Then she oh-so casually asked the names of the books I've been reading. Hackles went up on my end. I said, "Did someone there ask you to ask me that? Because that's really weird," and she said "No! I'm asking because I'd like to read them." Er. WTF. I had no idea what to do so I just gave her Urban's, Wright's and Jenna Miscavige's titles and she rang off. But COME ON. I mean, there's no way that she's at Flag and just happens to feel like picking up a little light anti-scientology reading, right? After we hung up I realized, duh, there's probably a sec check before routing back on to an OT level and it came up there.
So my question is... what the hell happens now? I'm correct that's she was lying when she said no one there asked her the names of the books, right? And if so, what can I expect the outcome of this to be? Will it just be fair roads fair weather from my parents from now on (which I really loathe)? Has anyone been in a similar situation as this? I should say also I almost welcome the shit hitting the fan at this point because I'm so sick of the lies and denial. And I'm not scared of disconnection either because my parents are REALLY family-oriented, and, well, I have something the church can't give them - I'm having their first grandkid in a month (is it so fucked that I think this way?)
Argh. Anyway. Sorry for the super-long post...I feel like this is the only place I can express my real feelings. Thanks for reading and for any advice you can offer.