Question for ex-Scientologists who raised their kids in Scientology

HollywoodGuy

Patron with Honors
When I was in Scientology, I met so many parents who couldn't be more proud that their children were in the Sea Org or would be joining Sea Org.

I knew one mother who'd proudly say to me, "My daughter is part of the CMO! Everyone has to address her as 'sir'!"

I knew another mother who'd proudly say, "My son is part of the Sea Org, the elite of Scientology!"

ELITE!?!? What is so "elite" about making $50 a week?! I couldn't understand what these mothers had to brag about!

I knew another woman who was disappointed when her daughter quit the Sea Org.

Besides the proud parents, there were other parents who, it seemed, couldn't be more relieved that their kids were out of the house and didn't need to be supported anymore.

There were so many kids from my time at Delphi who joined the Sea Org after leaving Delphi. And just about all of my Scientology peers from back home ended up joining Sea Org. I couldn't understand it. It's like, don't these kids have any other ambitions or options in life?

I know this makes me sound selfish and superficial, but when I was a teenager in Scientology, I thought I was too good for Sea Org. I thought it would be too degrading to work for $50 a week, and I honestly considered Sea Org members to be lower class citizens. Since I came from a relatively affluent family who could pay for my Bridge, I basically thought Sea Org was for poor people who couldn't pay for their Bridge any other way. I know, I was such a snob, but at least that snobbishness protected me from joining the Sea Org! :eyeroll:

So, for parents who raised their kids in Scientology...

At the time you guys were Scientologists and true believers, how did you honestly feel about the possibility of your children joining Sea Org? Were you excited? Or were you worried?
 

BunnySkull

Silver Meritorious Patron
I'm a never-in but I've read plenty of parents on this board who got into big ethics trouble for trying to protect their children from SO recruiters.

Now of course people are here with the gift of hindsight but I've read many stories about the dread the idea of the SO recruiting their kids caused parents on this board. On the other hand their are stories of other parents who handed their kids over to the SO for their own benefit - it helped get them out of some sort of ethics trouble or whatnot. There must be something to the "elite" status thinking though when you had parents like the uber-wealthy Feshbachs turning their kids over to the SO as teenagers.

I would think the bragging you heard is because parents always want to brag on their kids to others, regardless of what their kids are doing. Make the best of it, you know? However, I'm sure their are more than a few very brainwashed parents who did the SO was the greatest thing ever and did want their kids to join the "elite." If the parents had ever been on staff they would have a very different view of the SO - since SO had such unlimited power in those situations maybe they did think it was a big deal to have their kids in it.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
When I was in Scientology, I met so many parents who couldn't be more proud that their children were in the Sea Org or would be joining Sea Org.

I knew one mother who'd proudly say to me, "My daughter is part of the CMO! Everyone has to address her as 'sir'!"

I knew another mother who'd proudly say, "My son is part of the Sea Org, the elite of Scientology!"

ELITE!?!? What is so "elite" about making $50 a week?! I couldn't understand what these mothers had to brag about!

I knew another woman who was disappointed when her daughter quit the Sea Org.

Besides the proud parents, there were other parents who, it seemed, couldn't be more relieved that their kids were out of the house and didn't need to be supported anymore.

There were so many kids from my time at Delphi who joined the Sea Org after leaving Delphi. And just about all of my Scientology peers from back home ended up joining Sea Org. I couldn't understand it. It's like, don't these kids have any other ambitions or options in life?

I know this makes me sound selfish and superficial, but when I was a teenager in Scientology, I thought I was too good for Sea Org. I thought it would be too degrading to work for $50 a week, and I honestly considered Sea Org members to be lower class citizens. Since I came from a relatively affluent family who could pay for my Bridge, I basically thought Sea Org was for poor people who couldn't pay for their Bridge any other way. I know, I was such a snob, but at least that snobbishness protected me from joining the Sea Org! :eyeroll:

So, for parents who raised their kids in Scientology...

At the time you guys were Scientologists and true believers, how did you honestly feel about the possibility of your children joining Sea Org? Were you excited? Or were you worried?


I was secretly very, very worried about it.

I suppose though, to be fair, my periods of being a true believer were more when I was a younger, and before I had children. Yes, when they were little I wanted them to benefit from the basics (and silly me included study tech in that and I got involved in a scio school) but as they grew older the thought that they could be forced into a lifestyle with so little choice was disturbing. I wanted them to be able to fulfil natural talents in other areas and I knew that would not be possible in the SO. I had a foot out the door anyway, as I had for a long time ... only family circumstances kept me quiet.

One of my daughters did an Ups and Downs Course at AO ANZO, really her first proper service, and was recruited straight into the SO. I can't remember how old she was, but very early teens. It was then found that she didn't qualify so they shot her down to Melbourne to join staff there. I can't even remember how come she did the course in the first place ... anyway her half sister was involved and swore her to secrecy - I must not be told. My daughter told me anyway, I think she had begun to have doubts on the trip from Sydney to Melbourne ... and she knew I would rescue her, which I did. A very traumatic time indeed, but we survived and she did not join either SO or org staff. When they later came after my youngest, I was a true mother lion and they could not get close. At that point there was NO WAY my kids would be forced to do anything in scio, no matter what their father or anyone else said. It's a tragedy my roar was late in coming ... but eventually it did.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Oh and to go back to a previous generation - my dad set off from Australia in 1968 as a family of 8, to go to the 'ship' - we were all destined for the new Sea Org. Thank my lucky stars that did not happen. However my parents were happy to hand me over at 16 and pregnant to the SO in Edinburgh and send my just 15 year old brother to the ship by himself. I won't go into it all, I have written about it all before. However my parents did in fact fit that 'proud to have SO children' thing. Though as I have also posted before, when my brother was sent off dad also said "one down, 5 to go."

God help the kids of true believers.
 

La La Lou Lou

Crusader
Some parents are proud of their kids who are suicide bombers, pride means nothing.

I loved my kid too much to sacrifice on the alter of belief. Mamby pamby, that's me.
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
Having been an SO member, I had no desire to have my kids join the SO. I knew I would be under heavy pressure to let recruiters talk to them. This led me to avoid letting them take courses at the local org, even though my wife thought the study courses might be a good idea.

The whole cognitive dissonance contributed to my leaving Scn.

I did have a couple of friends whose daughter joined CMO. She lasted a few months and got out.
 

BunnySkull

Silver Meritorious Patron
Also, I would think it's a given that if you had a child in the SO, and are talking to another Scientologist, that bragging and being enthusiastic about your child in the SO is THE ONLY OPTION. If you do anything other than cheerlead you could face a KR or ethics trouble, which could easily lead to your SO child disconnecting or the whole "fair weather roads" bullshit. The cult keeps its ears to the ground about any hint of disaffection and anything other than 100% support of a child in the SO is seen as counter-intention. (Hell, there's tons of stories here about people being in ethics trouble simply for trying to keep SO recruiters from their 12 year olds, or protesting they only want them to join after they graduate high school. Reasonableness is not acceptable.) I figure parents of SO kids already have very little contact and communication, if they would say anything slightly negative that last thread of communication could easily be severed by the cult.

When you heard parents bragging OP, it could have been genuine bragging or just as easily be total stark fear talking. The parents might be committed to hyping up the SO to any conversation with another member because they have no idea who would write a KR or not.

(I figure a few learned a lesson the hard way if they did anything other than cheerlead the SO that and were quickly re-educated about conversing with others members about their child in the "elite of the elite" - at least if they ever want to speak to their elite child again.) A parent may have gone from expressing honest worry and distress over the lack of communication to "hip hip hurrah for the SO" after one conversation with the ethics officer after a KR and threats about disconnection or being PTS to their elite SO child.
 

olska

Silver Meritorious Patron
First it was suggested that I have an abortion... but I wanted the baby, figured it was my last chance to be a mother, and that turned out to be true...

Then it was suggested that I join the SO and put my baby in the "cadet org" nursery, etc., which meant that after much unnecessary suffering imo, s/he would have eventually been a SO brat. I'd seen what happened to small children in the SO (and I don't believe anyone from the PAC Base area who says they didn't know...), so I left staff, instead, and became a "wog" single mom, working and raising a child alone. I liked it -- I had "ideas" about how to raise a kid that were quite different from those I grew up with in my culture, and as a single mom you don't have to argue with the other parent about how to raise the kid...

I eked out a frugal living (we were never homeless or hungry), but "poverty" actually saved me from continuing in scientology. No money to do the bridge, for either me or the kid. At first this made me very sad... but in hindsight, it was the best thing that could have happened to us.

My child is not a scientologist, was not pushed into it. I wanted that child to make it's own decisions about religion when it was old enough to decide for itself. And s/he did, though I have to say those decisions were kinda surprising for me, the consummate atheist, but oh well, it all turned out ok... some amusing stories along the way.

While I do believe in giving young children as much power over their own lives as they can (sanely) deal with, at early ages -- along with adequate parental support and oversight, that was one of the factors of "cognitive dissonance" that helped push me out of scientology before I got very far along. I still wonder how anyone in their right mind could think it's a good idea to put 12-year-olds and teenagers in charge, in positions of authority such as Ethics Officer, International Justice Chief, etc. etc.

But I guess by now we know that people in the thrall of scientology who are making such decisions are not really in their right mind, so what can you do except raise a fuss about it and hope someone notices and wakes up.
 

Daisy

Patron with Honors
My husband called himself the anti-recruiter. We were not going to let that happen. We felt they were too young to decide.

The recruiters did us a favor by being so relentless and not caring a damn if we were their parents. Helped us to decide we were out.
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
First it was suggested that I have an abortion... but I wanted the baby, figured it was my last chance to be a mother, and that turned out to be true...

I eked out a frugal living (we were never homeless or hungry), but "poverty" actually saved me from continuing in scientology. No money to do the bridge, for either me or the kid. At first this made me very sad... but in hindsight, it was the best thing that could have happened to us.

Thank you for your story!

I've often wondered how many Scn-ists actually instinctively kept themselves poor because they knew it prevented them from immersing themselves too deeply into the cult. I saw a lot of that in the Clearwater area back in the 80-90's. People who paid lip service to being "good Scn's" but rarely did a course "because no $". They, like me, saw too many people who did go all the way up to OT 8 and fall on their faces. So better to stay poor and pretend to feel bad about it, when in reality they were better off!
 

FlunkYou

Patron with Honors
I never had the urge to join that faux Navy group. In fact, to me, it seemed like a prison sentence. Nor would I let any of those vultures near my child.

Those were/are my true feelings. HOWEVER, when I was in, the story was more along the lines of being a field auditor as that's where my calling was. And my child was going to be educated first, and when s/he is 18, that's when they can make that decision. I've seen too many kids get out of the SO in their early 20's not being educated and having very limited prospects because of that.

In fact, I can honestly say that every single person I have ever known that has gotten into the SO, has also gotten out. Most in fact after 1 to 2 years.
 

Hypatia

Pagan
When I was in Scientology, I met so many parents who couldn't be more proud that their children were in the Sea Org or would be joining Sea Org.

I knew one mother who'd proudly say to me, "My daughter is part of the CMO! Everyone has to address her as 'sir'!"

I knew another mother who'd proudly say, "My son is part of the Sea Org, the elite of Scientology!"

ELITE!?!? What is so "elite" about making $50 a week?! I couldn't understand what these mothers had to brag about!

I knew another woman who was disappointed when her daughter quit the Sea Org.

Besides the proud parents, there were other parents who, it seemed, couldn't be more relieved that their kids were out of the house and didn't need to be supported anymore.

There were so many kids from my time at Delphi who joined the Sea Org after leaving Delphi. And just about all of my Scientology peers from back home ended up joining Sea Org. I couldn't understand it. It's like, don't these kids have any other ambitions or options in life?

I know this makes me sound selfish and superficial, but when I was a teenager in Scientology, I thought I was too good for Sea Org. I thought it would be too degrading to work for $50 a week, and I honestly considered Sea Org members to be lower class citizens. Since I came from a relatively affluent family who could pay for my Bridge, I basically thought Sea Org was for poor people who couldn't pay for their Bridge any other way. I know, I was such a snob, but at least that snobbishness protected me from joining the Sea Org! :eyeroll:

So, for parents who raised their kids in Scientology...

At the time you guys were Scientologists and true believers, how did you honestly feel about the possibility of your children joining Sea Org? Were you excited? Or were you worried?

I've heard of parents who worked very hard to get their very young teens into the Sea Borg. They were sickeningly pleased with themselves.
 

cleared cannibal

Silver Meritorious Patron
This subject sort of came up in a sec check/interview I did a few years ago.

Read on a list of PT problems: SO recruiting your child.

Answer :I'll put a slug between someone's eyes if they don't stop.

Examiner: Thank you ,your needle is floating.

This more or less really happened and we really haven't had a lot of recruiting pressure. I'm not sure if this session had anything to do with it but it can't have hurt. Not sure if I meant it but it sure felt good to say, thus a floating needle.
 

HollywoodGuy

Patron with Honors
This subject sort of came up in a sec check/interview I did a few years ago.

Read on a list of PT problems: SO recruiting your child.

Answer :I'll put a slug between someone's eyes if they don't stop.

Examiner: Thank you ,your needle is floating.

This more or less really happened and we really haven't had a lot of recruiting pressure. I'm not sure if this session had anything to do with it but it can't have hurt. Not sure if I meant it but it sure felt good to say, thus a floating needle.

When I was a 17 year-old PC at ASHO, I was constantly targeted to join the Sea Org. I eventually started getting fed up, so I'd be rude to the recruiters and dodge them. In session, I would feel a little guilty about it, and it would come up. The C/S sent me to Ethics and the MAA told me no more dodging the Sea Org recruiters.

Later, after a long, taxing recruiting cycle, I broke down crying during my auditing session. Afterwards, the Sea Org recruiters were told that I was off-limits. My family wasn't paying money for me to audit away upsetting Sea Org recruiting cycles.
 

MrNobody

Who needs merits?
I've heard of parents who worked very hard to get their very young teens into the Sea Borg. They were sickeningly pleased with themselves.

Well... Since I'm approximately 10 years older than my youngest brother/sister, I can kinda understand the sentiment: Young teens can be hard to deal with, so I understand why parents might be "pleased" with the "solution" they've found.

That doesn't make their solution the right one, of course. :coolwink:
 

Leland

Crusader
I have read post here, where it has been said that to get onto New OT 8.....there is a deal made to give their kids to the Sea Org.

I don't know if there is any truth to that....but sounds plausible. I wouldn't put it past the Cult to use any sort of pressure against any Cult of Hubbard member to give give give....which would include children....

:angry:
 
God help the kids of true believers.
Hi Free to shine, It certainly is hard on the kids, whether they stay or go. We have a family situation at the moment which my daughter is having a hard time coping with. You and I had some email exchange several years ago because I knew you from your time in the GO. Would love to catch up again.

Freefrom - Melbourne
 
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Enthetan

Master of Disaster
I have read post here, where it has been said that to get onto New OT 8.....there is a deal made to give their kids to the Sea Org.

I don't know if there is any truth to that....but sounds plausible. I wouldn't put it past the Cult to use any sort of pressure against any Cult of Hubbard member to give give give....which would include children....

:angry:

It wouldn't need to be any explicit "deal". All that would need to happen on OT7 would be a little "conversation" about giving recruiters access to the kids. "You REALLY don't want your 6-month sec check to grind ON and ON and ON, don't you?"
 

Dean Blair

Silver Meritorious Patron
My wife and I joined the Sea Org years ago when our children were three and four. We felt that we were dedicating our lives to the future expansion of Scientology and did not feel the need for a lot of money. $50 a week plus room and board is what we agreed to and we thought having our children raised among Scientologists in the Cadet Org would be ideal. We were both trained auditors and had been on staff in a class V org.

At first, it did seem ideal. We had a decent apartment, did our OT levels, became NOTS auditors, and got $50 a week plus a few perks. After a few years however things started to change. Beans and rice began to be served on a more and more regular basis. Sometimes we would not get paid anything at all even though the Org made half a million dollars in a week. days off were limited from one day every week to one day every other week IF your stats were up and IF the Org would let you go.

As time went on days off became much harder to obtain. Vacations which Sea Org are entitled to three weeks paid vacation per year became impossible. Screaming by seniors, ethics missions fired into the org, yelling and threats of ethics punishment became commonplace and more weeks of no pay with only beans and rice to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. These things crept up on us seemingly slowly but after about five or six years of it my wife and I decided to not let our kids join the Sea Org. I got my daughter out of LA and sent to a private school. My son did join the Sea Org and I thought it was something he wanted. As it turned out he did not want it and tried to get out of it but you are not allowed to talk to anyone about leaving with threat of SP declare.

The last few years of my life in the Sea Org were hell on Earth and I was looking for some way to get out of it when my then wife asked me for a divorce. That was my way out. I started the routing form immediately and nearly a year later routed out with my daughter. I did not find out that my son didn't want to be in the Sea Org until he was eighteen and he routed out with the help of his mother. He actually thought I would be upset with him for wanting to leave the Sea Org which was actually the opposite of how I felt. Remember, dead L Ron created a policy that you are not allowed to discuss leaving with anyone, even your parents or spouse, or you will be declared an SP.

I have since reconciled with my son and become a very anti Scientology Personality and would warn anyone against joining Scientology, staff, Sea Org, or even taking courses in the cult. This is why I post on ESMB and have used my knowledge to try and prevent others from making the mistake that I made with my wife so many years ago.
 
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