JustSheila
Crusader
I've been sort of hanging around today, laughing at posters wittier than me, going to the big Emma's birthday party ESMB online bash here (HI Emma! :happybirthday: ), but still nagging in the back of my mind was how Hubbard killed something I had immensely enjoyed, that had brought so much mystery, wonderment, and awe to my life:
Hubbard Killed My Love of Science Fiction.
My diet of sci-fi and fantasy started about when I was 6 years old. Isaac Asimov and Robert A Heinlein's books just blew me away. They were amazing, and here was this man Hubbard who - wow - well, he made Asimov's education and achievements sound like a cereal box certificate next to the Nobel Prize!
Since I was a child, if I wanted to relax, there was sci-fi. And just before bed was my favourite time, because then my brain entered that place where I could dream and imagine, thinking "what-if" and "wouldn't it be cool if" sort of things. During the day, there was, well, just living and loving life.
Sci-fi was part of dreams. Living was reality. Life was simple, it made sense -as long as fantasy and reality were separated this way, I was happy and normal. I loved Sci-fi and life, too.
So now, after going through the "is there anything about scn that works" phase of exdom and the "how much has scn really f'ed up my way of thinking" phase and the "get everything, anything and everyon who ever had anything to do with scn away from me" phase and the "who am I really then?" phase (not necessarily in that order), I discovered a new one.
Scientology brainwashes. It puts one in a semi-daze during waking hours (lack of sleep and good nutrition with mega-hours of work help it along) which makes one daydream. It tell yous all your dreams were real, and what was real (family, friends, upbringing) was not.
So now, I only think of sci-fi at night. During the day, I LIVE. Strange as it sounds, it really straightened out my brain waves. Back to pre-Scientology. I feet CONNECTED again - whole. Completely ME.
This may sound weird, but for me, that's become what seems to be the last hurdle of recovering from scientology. It's kind of hard to explain so I hope someone else here can relate to this or something similar.
Hubbard Killed My Love of Science Fiction.
My diet of sci-fi and fantasy started about when I was 6 years old. Isaac Asimov and Robert A Heinlein's books just blew me away. They were amazing, and here was this man Hubbard who - wow - well, he made Asimov's education and achievements sound like a cereal box certificate next to the Nobel Prize!
Since I was a child, if I wanted to relax, there was sci-fi. And just before bed was my favourite time, because then my brain entered that place where I could dream and imagine, thinking "what-if" and "wouldn't it be cool if" sort of things. During the day, there was, well, just living and loving life.
Sci-fi was part of dreams. Living was reality. Life was simple, it made sense -as long as fantasy and reality were separated this way, I was happy and normal. I loved Sci-fi and life, too.
So now, after going through the "is there anything about scn that works" phase of exdom and the "how much has scn really f'ed up my way of thinking" phase and the "get everything, anything and everyon who ever had anything to do with scn away from me" phase and the "who am I really then?" phase (not necessarily in that order), I discovered a new one.
Scientology brainwashes. It puts one in a semi-daze during waking hours (lack of sleep and good nutrition with mega-hours of work help it along) which makes one daydream. It tell yous all your dreams were real, and what was real (family, friends, upbringing) was not.
So now, I only think of sci-fi at night. During the day, I LIVE. Strange as it sounds, it really straightened out my brain waves. Back to pre-Scientology. I feet CONNECTED again - whole. Completely ME.
This may sound weird, but for me, that's become what seems to be the last hurdle of recovering from scientology. It's kind of hard to explain so I hope someone else here can relate to this or something similar.