Relationships with Narcissists

[renegade]

I recently got out of a relationship that was one sided and abusive. This person was very narcissistic.

In self reflection, I discovered that I have had several realtionships of this type, including the one with scn. One of my parents and a sibling is also very Narcissistic!
This lead me to read up on co-dependence issues. Wow, what an eye opener! This is why I got into scn to fix only to have it take advantage of my need to feel helpful, valuable, and make a difference. Like dog training, it validates you when you do something of value for the org, and humiliates you when you don't.

I started to wonder if scn actually tries to lure people like me into the trap, to take advantage of this.

 

[HoraciotheOT8]

I recently got out of a relationship that was one sided and abusive. This person was very narcissistic.

Takes one to know one.

with much love,
Horacio

 

[renegade]

Takes one to know one.

with much love,
Horacio

WoW! That's exactly what my past abuser said! Do you know each other?

 

[The Anabaptist Jacques]

I recently got out of a relationship that was one sided and abusive. This person was very narcissistic.

In self reflection, I discovered that I have had several realtionships of this type, including the one with scn. One of my parents and a sibling is also very Narcissistic!
This lead me to read up on co-dependence issues. Wow, what an eye opener! This is why I got into scn to fix only to have it take advantage of my need to feel helpful, valuable, and make a difference. Like dog training, it validates you when you do something of value for the org, and humiliates you when you don't.

I started to wonder if scn actually tries to lure people like me into the trap, to take advantage of this.

Takes one to know one.

with much love,
Horacio

Renegade,

Don't listen to this guy. He has shown such little understanding of life through his posts.

It is no wonder that he answers a post of self-reflection with a Pee Wee Herman style answer.

You mentioned self-reflection. That alone shows you are not a narcissist.

Horacio probaly doesn't know what self-reflection means.

His answers always tell us more about him than the person he is putting down.

The Anabaptist Jacques

 

[renegade]

Thank you TAJ!

I was just reading how the NPD cannot validate anyones strengths or good qualities.

 

[shanic89]

Takes one to know one.

with much love,
Horacio

I personally would like to thank you for the many times other human beings have shown that compassion and restraint still exist in abundance in this world. If they were not, I'm positive you would have been put to sleep.

 

[Sindy]

I recently got out of a relationship that was one sided and abusive. This person was very narcissistic.

In self reflection, I discovered that I have had several realtionships of this type, including the one with scn. One of my parents and a sibling is also very Narcissistic!
This lead me to read up on co-dependence issues. Wow, what an eye opener! This is why I got into scn to fix only to have it take advantage of my need to feel helpful, valuable, and make a difference. Like dog training, it validates you when you do something of value for the org, and humiliates you when you don't.

I started to wonder if scn actually tries to lure people like me into the trap, to take advantage of this.

I believe Scientology offers many parts for all different kinds of people -- abusers, abusees (if you will) and everything in between.

There are far too may Horatios I reckon.

 

[NoName]

Takes one to know one.

with much love,
Horacio

Posting in the mirror again, dude?

 

[palehorse]

Scientology seeks to recruite ANYONE with ANY sense of self - whether a giver of one's self, or a taker the advantage of self. Indeed, the Givers are a much more profitable prospect for the Co$.

I am sorry for your hurt. It may seem odd, but there may be an odd lesson here from the narcissist: "Take care of yourself first... ." The part of that lesson that the narcissist leaves out is the follow up phrase: "... for if you do not take care of yourself, you have no self to give."

I hope you find healing and growth.

 

[renegade]

You are right in that there was a lesson to be learned from this experience! Life seems to keep putting these in my path too. Hopefully this time is the last.

One thing I found in common with the ex and my sibling was their past. Both of them were ex-meth users and ex-drug dealers. Later in life they became extreme born again christians and used the bible to make people wrong, and elevate their status as chosen ones. It got too hard to be around them. Eveything was wrong to them, not just
me either; their jobs, co-workers, the way people drive, the waitress, etc. etc. What was not ok for other people to do was ok for themselves.

Can previous meth use make someone narcissistic? I hear it causes permanent brain damage and there is nothing you can do about it.

 

[FoTi]

Takes one to know one.

with much love,
Horacio

WoW! That's exactly what my past abuser said! Do you know each other?

Is it possible that Horacio and your past abuser are one and the same?

 

[renegade]

Is it possible that Horacio and your past abuser are one and the same?

I hope not!

I,ve had enough of this.

 

[Jquepublic]

I hope not!

I,ve had enough of this.

I think he's just an equal opportunity trollish asshole - I can't understand why he hasn't been banned yet.

It sounds like you're on the right path as far as your own research is concerned. I have/had (have still, maybe?) co-dependency issues also so I can empathise. I think we're easy targets because we need to be needed and the cult plays that aspect of our personalities well. Sindy is right though - there's a place in CoS for both abusers and their punching bags.

FYI there are Co-Dependents Anonymous groups all over the country, you might look into attending a meeting if you want to delve more deeply into your own situation. They're free! Always good.

 

[AnonyMary]

I recently got out of a relationship that was one sided and abusive. This person was very narcissistic.

In self reflection, I discovered that I have had several realtionships of this type, including the one with scn. One of my parents and a sibling is also very Narcissistic!
This lead me to read up on co-dependence issues. Wow, what an eye opener! This is why I got into scn to fix only to have it take advantage of my need to feel helpful, valuable, and make a difference. Like dog training, it validates you when you do something of value for the org, and humiliates you when you don't.

I started to wonder if scn actually tries to lure people like me into the trap, to take advantage of this.

Your post reminds me of what I posted last nite in another thread.

Boy that was brilliant.
[video=youtube;XBmJay_qdNc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=XBmJay_qdNc[/video]

Dan Ariely is the kind of thinker we wished Hubbard was when we were drinking the koolaid.

I think Hubbard was dishonest before he began Dianetics and Scientology ( big example is "when Hubbard failed to give any account of the expenditure of Allied Enterprises") and he evolved into being more and more dishonest as a pattern, especially so when he felt threatened or felt he or his vision for his organization was going to be undermined. I think pretty early on he was in the chronic cheater liar category, perhaps without even knowing or caring how he arrived there, continuing to do what worked for self preservation.

I have always felt that he suffered from Narcissism and probably from an early age. Some of the traits of this personality disorder fit in with a chronic cheating and lying. Hubbard probably did these things to perpetuate his distorted version of how he saw the world.

Traits and signs of Narcissism

Thomas suggests that narcissists typically display most, sometimes all, of the following traits:[5]

An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
Difficulty with empathy
Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)
Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)
Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
Haughty body language
Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
Pretending to be more important than they really are
Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
Claiming to be an "expert" at many things
Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
Denial of remorse and gratitude

That ^^^^ is L Ron Hubbard.

Know your enemy!

 

[Lurker5]

I recently got out of a relationship that was one sided and abusive. This person was very narcissistic.

In self reflection, I discovered that I have had several realtionships of this type, including the one with scn. One of my parents and a sibling is also very Narcissistic!
This lead me to read up on co-dependence issues. Wow, what an eye opener! This is why I got into scn to fix only to have it take advantage of my need to feel helpful, valuable, and make a difference. Like dog training, it validates you when you do something of value for the org, and humiliates you when you don't.

I started to wonder if scn actually tries to lure people like me into the trap, to take advantage of this.

Yeah, I think so, but it also attracts the abusive narcissists - who step all over the good folks to get high up and into power positions. Symbiotic.

Just seeing THAT, the co-dependence of it all, is a HUGE STEP. Congratulations. Look into your self. That is the only thing you can change. It is worth the effort.

 

[Smilla]

Scientology takes advantage of any pre-existing narcissism in it's recruiting tricks, and magnifies it dramatically. Where no such pre-existing narcissism is found, it is induced.

ALL Scientologists think they are 'special'.

 

[MrNobody]

Scientology takes advantage of any pre-existing narcissism in it's recruiting tricks, and magnifies it dramatically. Where no such pre-existing narcissism is found, it is induced.

I'd like to simplify your statement: $cientology takes (or at least tries to take) advantage of anything.

ALL Scientologists think they are 'special'.

They are special, but they aren't any more special than any other living being.

(Could it be that I'm "preaching to the choir", here?) :wink2:

 

[Smilla]

I'd like to simplify your statement: $cientology takes (or at least tries to take) advantage of anything.



They are special, but they aren't any more special than any other living being.

(Could it be that I'm "preaching to the choir", here?) :wink2:

Quite right - any vulnerability will be exploited. And every living being and aspect of nature is special and miraculous - even the apparently *lifeless* parts.

So also is that which is beyond our present ability to perceive and understand.

[video=youtube;BkgN9OjMXgw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkgN9OjMXgw[/video]

 

[Smurf]

Takes one to know one.

You're a real piece of work, Turtlez/Bill Yaude. You've cried yourself a river on OCMB about being called out as a troll for targeting Karen de la Carriere with personal attacks, then shamelessly claimed you were retiring from OCMB, only to return 2 days later, then posted this crap yesterday.

"I would welcome a banning/account deletion. Please do it. (I actually deleted the e-mail account associated with the OCMB account and that did not close or interfere with the Turtlez OCMB account.)

I admit I would not go into a bar or house party or dinner full of y'all and would not have any inclination to join in on this topic, so what possesses me to get into this internet sandbox is beyond me.

This is my final, final big goodbye. ;-) take care kind, fair, good, moral, life-loving inhabitants of OCMB. And watch out for those nasty no-good dirty immoral OSA operatives who are completely infatuated in what YOU are doing."

http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=121499&start=30

Your OSA douchebaggery won't work on ESMB, either, Bill.

 

[Smurf]

Is it possible that Horacio and your past abuser are one and the same?

Horacio is Bill Yaude, OSA's Internet tool. He posts as Turtlez on OCMB.