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Report on the 2005 LRH Birthday event

Cerridwen

Patron
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/msg/07c95054d6fd8840?&hl=en

The 2005 LRH Birthday event was held live at Flag on Friday, March
11th and then a video of the event was shown in LA on March 12th at
the Shrine Auditorium in LA. Many of the outer orgs held the event on
March 18, 19 and 20.

I didn't think to make a note of what time the event actually started
but it was a really long event, I'd say close to 3.5 hours.


I attended the event with a few girlfriends. My long suffering
husband refused to go. He was very nice but adamant, and no amount of
backrubs would convince him. He told me he planned on watching a DVD
with 4 hours of the show "24" and that I was "on your own" because
he's had quite enough with Miscavige's Church of Scientology.


Not to worry, I made arrangements to go to the event with some
girlfriends and we managed to have a fun night out.


I'm not really a big fan of Indian food. Something about Indian curry
and me that just doesn't seem to get along. I'm fine with the curry
that is in Thai food, but something about that Indian curry just makes
the BT's in my stomach do the Irish Jig.


Have you ever heard that kind of Indian music where the man's voice is
just kind of crying out AaaaaeeAaaaaaaaaeeeeeeAaaaaaaaaaaeeeeee. I
figured that kind of Indian music is a result of eating Indian food,
but I was promised that I could order something mild and without curry
and it would be fine.


To wrap up my traditional pre-event meal report, I will tell you that
I had a chicken and garlic with rice and that it was quite tasty. My
stomach BT's didn't complain one bit and when we were finished, they,
my girlfriends and I proceeded to the event happy and well nourished.


The event started with DM entering the stage to the highest ever
thunderous applause I've ever heard him get. He is wearing a
stylishly crisp black tux. The stage as always was obscenely ornate
with that style of "classical" with a "new tech" look. It's
interesting positioning and don't for a minute think that every tacky
gold piece was not painstakingly thought out and final approval was
given by micro manager, DM.


The hype for the event was also highest ever that I can remember and
included "the biggest announcement since LRH announced the first
Clear." We were encouraged to bring our non-Scientology friends
because this was an event that "raw public" could attend.


The total attendance was back up after last year's crash and I'd say
it was an average sized crowd. But as usual, there were hardly any
"raw public" at all.


Every event has a theme and the theme of this event was "we got the
knowledge." This is otherwise known as "we are going to empty your
wallets tonight and you aren't going to KNOW what the hell hit you."


DM starts the event off by shouting out to the crowd.


"ARE YOU READY?"


And of course everyone shouts back "YES!"


Then DM goes through this little routine saying that they can't
possibly be ready because what he is going to tell us tonight is just
too big, blah, blah, PR BS, blah, blah.


Then he asks the crowd again.


"ARE YOU READY?"


"YES!"


And he begins to tells us that what Scientology has to offer is
KNOWLEDGE and that we are moving into the Golden Age of Knowledge!


That was the theme of the event and I'll do my best to explain DM's
plans for the future and the spreading of this knowledge.


But first, it's LRH's Birthday and as always, DM drags out the LRH
Biographer, Dan Sherman.


Poor Dan, he's starting to become a joke. I think Dan's been writing
this biography for a longer time than the SP building has been under
construction. The only question left now is will it take him longer
to finish the story of LRH's life than it took LRH to live it?


For crying out loud, Dan, I'm not the pope and you're not
Michelangelo, but when will you make an end?!


"LANDMARKS" OR, HUBBARD'S SACRED RELICS


Dan wasn't having a good night. He looked crumpled and his voice was
more nasal and whiny than usual. I lost track of how often he
stumbled in his speech. Was he getting over a cold? Have you done
the new Golden Age of Tech PTS SP course, Dan?


It seems that Dan has not been spending much time on the biography
because he's been off researching every joint that LRH ever lived in
so the SO could restore the sacred relics.


Phoenix, Arizona


Yep, that's right, Dan told us all about how they bought and restored
the home LRH lived in when he was in Phoenix, Arizona. They've made a
museum out of it by restoring it with items and appliances that
existed in the house in the 50's. There were lots of his photos from
that time.


There were some of clothes LRH wore and even the car parked outside of
the house was the same year and model as the one he drove at that
time. They showed a photo of LRH on the Harley Davidson motorcycle
that the Phoenix Scientologists called "The Beast" but there wasn't
one beside the vintage car. Maybe DM still hopes to find the
original.


He said the house was open to all Scientologists. I'm dying to go
down there to see the photos and count how many persona no longer
grata were photoshopped out of them.


Washington, DC


They've done just as much restoration of the home LRH lived in when he
was the Executive Director of the org in Washington, DC. With a photo
of the house on the screen, Dan proudly reported that the big magnolia
tree is the same one LRH planted when he was there. Was it too much
that I hoped Dan would say, " LRH didn't really plant that magnolia
tree but it sure sounds good, doesn't it?" But I'm sure LRH did plant
it and that Dan would never lie about LRH's past. <wink>


The DC home had LRH's original Dictaphones, E-meters and anything else
they could get their hands on from that time period. There was the
big globe that his secretary gave him as a gift and that he's seen
posing with in a photo known to all Scientologists. There was the
radio that LRH had to listen to programs from all over the world. And
there was the couch that LRH used to take short naps when he was
working like mad and would stay up for 40 yours straight without going
to bed.


Johannesburg, South Africa


Last but not least, they purchased and restored the house that LRH
lived in while in Johannesburg, South Africa. A sort of "weird
Scientology moment" happened when Dan said Scientology auditors will
recognize that this is where LRH developed the Jo'burg Sec Check. A
knowing and nervous giggle came from some of the crowd, but it died
quickly because Dan ignored it completely, and that made it obvious
that he had not mentioned the Jo'burg Sec Check to get a giggle.


It would have been a good moment to show a big meter on the screen and
a sec checker voice asking, "Has anything been suppressed?" These
events would be so much fun if DM had a sense of humor and splurged on
it! Of course he would also have to cancel the Jokers and Degraders
policy and we can't have that, can we?


The only joke I remember from the event is Dan quoting LRH saying,
"Five morons don't make a genius." That was when Dan was emphasizing
Keeping Scientology Working of course. I wish the OSA presences on
ars would word clear that, but I digress...


Dan tells us that back in the 50's and 60's when LRH went to Jo'burg,
white men had white butlers, but LRH was an opponent of apartheid and
insisted his butler be a black. I believe this is the same black man
that was interviewed a few years ago at another LRH birthday event. He
seemed to genuinely like LRH. Dan told us that everyone in the in
household were given sec checks and that they called it "making a
happy household."


We are also told that LRH wrote and proposed a new Constitution for
South Africa that had one man, one vote. Good for him. Too bad he
didn't apply that concept to Scientologists. Was he thinking about
five morons or was there another reason?


This is a link to an excellent post by Chris Owen on the subject of
Scientology and apartheid


http://www.planetkc.com/sloth/sci/bigot.txt


I think the last story in the Johannesburg section was of the man that
sculpted the bust of LRH. They managed to locate and contact the
daughter of the sculptor. She told them that after her father's
death, she found a note under the cast of the bust that said, "It was
my best work. I really loved that man." Dan didn't show us the
note.


Here is a little bit more data about that sculptor.


See fourth paragraph on page 235 of:


http://www.factnet.org/Books/BareFacedMessiah/chap14.htm


Back to Phoenix


Where did the Scientology 8 point cross come from? Dan tells us LRH
got the idea from a "sunburst cross" he found when he was on an
archeological dig in Phoenix. If Dan says so, it must be true.


It seems there is an effort to locate exactly when LRH started talking
about Scientology as a religion. I got the idea that they were
finding or creating evidence that LRH talked about strictly religious
motives long before critics say he did.


All this LRH PR stuff has to do with LRH image and that is something
that has always been very important to Scientology management because
part of the Scientology mythology is that LRH is "Source" and certain
people "recognize Source" immediately, and those are the people that
Scientology wants. There's regular PR and marketing and acceptance by
governments and institutions, but in Scientology there is also a
"whole track" thing. Meaning that people have worked with or been
helped by LRH over many different lifetimes, and people who knew Ron
from previous lives will recognize him (spiritually) and his works and
"return."


It seems to me the same thing should apply to "whole track SP's," and
that would mean almost all of the people reading this report.


Dan tells another interesting story that I'd heard once before, but
Dan put a new twist to it.


They show us a little silent movie they've done of the time when LRH
was in Phoenix. While the movie is playing, we hear LRH's voice from
the lecture in which he tells this story. There was a young man
called Farber who was studying Scientology during this time when
exteriorization tech was under development. It was the time when LRH
was trying to exteriorize people from their bodies and one of the
processes was the single command, "Be 3 feet back of your head." Per
LRH, it worked for some but not for most, and of course it was not a
stable exteriorization.


Anyway, we see this fellow Farber trying to get to see LRH to tell him
something "important." And we hear LRH from the lecture telling the
story of how he was very busy and then sleeping late because he had
been up all night, so poor Farber kept being put off. Finally Farber
gets to see LRH and tells him excitedly that he's found a process that
will exteriorize anybody at will.


LRH agrees to be run on it and Farber gives him the command, "Try NOT
to be 3 feet back of your head." LRH tells how he went whizzing out
of his head "and I haven't been back since." He laughs and of course
the lecture audience and everybody at the event laughs and marvels at
how OT LRH was.


Per the lecture and the film, it clearly shows that the process was
Farber's process. But seconds later Dan is telling us it was LRH's
process! He justifies it by saying Farber got the idea from
"unreleased research materials" of LRH's but so what? They just
showed a film of it NOT being a process by LRH but here's Dan
attributing source to LRH. It was weird and creepy.


One other thing I noticed but I'm not sure if it is part of a new
trend or not, is that Dan didn't refer to LRH once as a war hero but
instead said he "went to hell and back during WW II". That's a lot
different for them and I only bring it up because they're careful with
the words they choose when referring to LRH. Other than that, it was
the same old stuff about how absolutely and exceptionally OT and
heroic LRH was.


When Dan completed his annual update on all things Ron, DM came back
on stage to show us his stuff.


DAVEY'S BIGGEST FAN


DM returns and we are gonna get "enlightened" as to the big plan on
getting Scientology's knowledge to the masses.


I know you are all on the edge of your seat with excitement, but I'd
like to make a few comments before I explain this huge, new, exciting
win that was promoted as the biggest announcement since that of the
first Clear.


There were very few stats shown this year (much less than usual) and
the ones they did show were displayed with rapid fire motion tech
(even more rapid than usual).


The graphics that were put up on the screen were flashed so quickly,
that there is absolutely NO way anyone at the event could have kept up
with them. Did they think no one would notice?


Sure, DM was promoting upstats, unprecedented expansion and all the
usual PR malarkey, but nobody could have missed that there were much
fewer stats to back up all his talk and that they were presented in a
blur.


What wasn't rapid fire or a blur was DM's unabashed promotion of
himself. He sang glowing praises to all of the programs that have
come from his "evals": Golden Age of Tech, Arbitraries Removed, the
Wake-Up Call, Ideal Orgs. They were all models of "straight up
vertical" (on a graph) expansion. I wondered what he would say if any
Scientologist dared to ask him, "Don't you think you should show some
humility?" I think he would answer, "What do you mean? I am a truly
humble person." And then he would add, "Only the great can be truly
humble."


He mentioned twice during the event that his 6 new "Ideal Orgs"
brought in as many new publics in 2004 as all of the rest of the orgs
combined. That means he's saying that in 2004, San Francisco, Buffalo,
Madrid, New York, Johannesburg and Tampa have brought in more new
people than the other 122 orgs combined.


That is an incredible thing for him to admit because if it's true, it
means the other 122 orgs are doing even worse than we think.


REPACKAGING THE REPACKAGED PACKAGE OR, THE SAME OLD SHIT
IN A NEW CAN.


So now back to the theme of the event: Knowledge.


Before he makes the big announcement, DM tells us that he has been
"obsessed" with this project and that it's been years in the making
and required 200,000 man hours. What is his obsession? He wants
Scientologists to understand Scientology philosophy so they can apply
it in their lives.


You don't think that's something to be obsessed about? Remember that
Scientology is always right. Only Scientologists that don't
understand and apply it 100% standardly are wrong. So what could be
more important than understanding Scientology? Nothing of course.


Some of the old timers will remember the "Materials Grade Chart."
This was a way of organizing all of the LRH books, lectures, HCOB's,
HCOPL's to line up with the corresponding levels of the Grade Chart
(that shows the training and auditing steps of the Bridge). That way,
as you moved up the Grade Chart and did the auditing and training for
each level, you could also study the right materials for each level
but that wasn't in the courses.


This new Golden Age of Knowledge is a repackaging of that idea.


DM tells us that there is just so much knowledge in Scientology that
it is impossible to learn it and evaluate the different importances
unless it is studied in the correct sequence.


So with a lot of work, he has repackaged thousands of LRH lectures
into these new color-coded categories and they are now on sale in 45
languages for a mere $2,000.00.


In hindsight, I'm really happy my husband didn't go to this event. He
would have treated me to some very well done complaining hours
afterward.


Since I had to endure this event, I am now going to bore you with the
all the details as best as I can remember them and make you suffer
like I did.


The first of three categories of lectures, and the one I remember best
because after this I started to fade, was Congresses.


In the early days, LRH would announce his new discoveries to public
and Scientologists at the congresses that he would hold. Over the
years there were a dozen or more congresses and they were held over
weekends, or over a few days so that each congress was not that long.
According to DM, the congress lectures contain the "bedrock of
Scientology knowledge" and are the category of lectures that people
should study first. If they do, they will understand Scientology
philosophy really well and have all that knowledge down pat.


Because the congresses were short and there weren't that many of them,
the people that attended got through them quickly. So DM tells us a
person could study all of the lectures of all the congresses in a few
months time and "still have time left over for the kids." That's a
direct quote. Did he mean time left over to find them a school with
an even lower expectation of learning? Or time to bail them out of
jail. Or what? I don't know because I don't have all that kowledge
yet.


He talked about the other categories of lectures that included the
Professional Auditor lectures and the ACC or Advance Clinical Course
lectures. I'm going to wait for the next issue of International
Scientology News and see if it says anything worth reporting about
these categories because it was during this part of the event that I
began to nod off so don't hold your breath waiting for that report.


So this was the biggest development since LRH announced the first
Clear. These lectures are now all organized, color coded and were
ready for sale, right after the event. They have extensive glossaries
with not just Scientology terms but also Wog terms and expressions as
well as historical notations to help you better understand what the
hell LRH was talking about back there in the 1950's and early 60's.


These lectures will all be somehow done in GAT style because DM is
convinced that the only way for a person to learn is robotically and
to drill, drill, drill and memorize, memorize, memorize. He has no
idea that that is NOT how people like to learn or learn best.


THE HEIGHT OF WEIRDNESS


To get us to understand what's so important about all of this, DM
shows us these visual aids, and one is a cartoon of a 3 foot tall
Homer Simpson kind of guy but who shaves. You know, an average wog
guy, and this guy wants to learn, but how can he learn if he's
bombarded by all those millions of words of LRH. We see him bombarded
with Scientology knowledge and he doesn't look too happy. Our
Scientologist Homer certainly doesn't look like he's becoming a
philosopher.


But then as always,


Here I come to save the day! That means that Mighty Mouse DM is on
his way!


By using DM/GAT memorization and drilling tech, he can KNOW stuff like
the correct sequence of all the Scientology books LRH wrote! What
came next really knocked my TR's out. DM proceeded to call off a long
list of LRH book titles like he was firing them out of a machine gun.
When he finished, there was the usual thunderous applause from some of
the audience but I couldn't help thinking the rest of them must have
been saying to themselves what I was saying to myself. "So fucking
what?!"


How is that for weird and creepy! DM thinks memorization and a rapid
spitting back of the date sequence of Hubbard's books is KNOWLEDGE.
Wogs give me strength!


It was a phenomenal display of someone that's clueless being
absolutely convinced that he's a genius.


He said one more thing that got my attention. In the 50's LRH saw
that Scientologists couldn't afford to buy reel to reel tape players
and his taped lectures, so he started having his lectures reproduced
on vinyl records. Davey thinks he's repeating that "successful
action" with the new lecture series so that now "they're available to
the blue collar worker."


Here's how his reasoning must go. The blue collar worker will have no
problem shelling out the two thousand bucks. In only a few months
he'll have all that bedrock Scientology philosophy down pat and being
applied. And it won't be long after until he becomes a millionaire
and buys the Bridge for himself and his family, donates a few million
to the IAS and buys a new building for a new ideal org.


The blue collar worker must be even less real to DM than to Bill
Gates. If DM was running Microsoft, it would cost $2,000 and Linux
users would be declared SP's, harassed and if possible, of course,
ruined utterly.


DM is really relying on this repackaging of repackaged information.
He can not confront that however well you repackage Scientology, it's
still not all that it's cracked up to be.


Don't worry critics, it's wacky thinking like this that will truly
doom Scientology.


THE BIRTHDAY GAME AWARDS ARE BACK! YAAAY!


This is by far my favorite part of the event and of course they save
it for the end because half the crowd would probably leave if they did
the awards first.


They brought back the whole show including the wonderful vestal
virgins, dressed in these white ancient Greek type gowns kind of like
this:


http://www.tribuneindia.com/2004/20040325/spr1.jpg.


And the virgins gave the winner of each category a big trophy of a
running horse and a very colorful jockey shirt. Each winner who was
male got a kiss on the cheek from the virgins. For the women winners,
they blew kisses to the crowd. I guess they didn't want to be taken
for lesbians.


Honestly, I was thrilled to see this brought back for the event
because it is so hokey and weird and I just love it.


OK on to the awards!


Tradition was restored with ED Int, Guillaume Lesevre, announcing the
LRH Birthday Awards. His tux was as nice as DM's and he looked much
better than the last event.


Missions


Third Place: Bellaire, Florida.


Bellaire is next door to Clearwater and I have to wonder if the
Bellaire mission stats have already crashed now that the Clearwater
area OT's can no longer do any training there and but must do it at
Flag. I also wonder if the Bellaire Mission was forced to pay Flag
all the money they made from the local OT's? Shades of the Beverly
Hills mission, anyone?


Second Place: Ukraine.


Scientology seems to be doing very well in Eastern Europe.


First Place: Kazakhstan for the second year running! Their next
target is to become Kazakhstan's first Class 5 org and it doesn't look
like it will take them long. We are told Scientology is expanding in
leaps and bounds in Kazakhstan and if you do a google search you will
also see that they are already running into some trouble with the
local government there.


http://www.religionnewsblog.com/10243


CLASS V ORGS


Third Place: Hamburg Org.


Second Place: St. Petersburg, Russia. This is an existing "Saint Hill
size" org, if it's still Saint Hill size.


First Place: Milan. Milan is also an existing "Saint Hill Sized" org
and this is the 6th time they have won the Birthday Game, which is a
record.


The ED of the Milan org was a woman so she did not get any kisses from
the virgins. The ED reported that the Milan Org has the Universe
Corps there and that 6 Milan staff went from not Clear to OT 5 this
past year. The Universe Corp is the group of auditors and admin staff
that deliver the OT levels to the staff of an org that goes "Saint
Hill Size."


The ED is an OT 5 and said she had had the best auditing in the world
at Flag but that it was even better being able to get OT auditing in
her own org because it made it so easy to get things handled and then
go back to work.


SEA ORG ORGS


Third Place: ASHO Foundation.


Second Place: Celebrity Center International. One of their stats that
I remember was something like 1,600 WDAH (well done auditing hours) a
week. That's a good stat for a Class 5 org.


First Place: Advanced Org EU (Denmark).


WINNERS OF THE CONTINENTAL LIAISON OFFICE (middle management)


Third Place: ANZO.


Second Place: West US.


First Place: Europe.


NEW SAINT HILL SIZE ORG OR, IS IT?


Guillaume exits and Davey comes back.


You may remember from last year's event that only one org went Saint
Hill size, and that was Tampa. Of the rest of Davey's "ideal orgs"
that were supposed to go Saint Hill size, including Buffalo, none did.
Tampa barely made it and it took all the "OT" resources of Flag public
to make it happen. Are they still Saint Hill size? Sure doesn't look
like it from the reports out of Tampa. Is Davey's "straight up
vertical expansion" followed by "straight down vertical contraction"?


This year one more of DM's Ideal Orgs squeaked through to make it to
the size of Old Saint Hill. Only one. Johannesburg, South Africa.
But did it really?


The ED of Jo'burg came up on stage and I could be wrong but I got the
definite impression that the ED was being all "missed witholdy"
(something to hide).


The guys TR's were OUT. He was fumbling around with his speech and
seemed extremely uncomfortable being on the stage for this award. At
one point he banged his hand hard into the microphone and the whole
place echoed for a few seconds. All the other winners were
enthusiastic and very happy to get their awards but this guy acted
like he would rather have been just about anywhere else. He looked at
DM a couple of times during his speech and something in DM's face told
me that they were not very fond of each other.


The ED's behavior was bizarre enough to make me wonder if Jo'burg
really did make it to Saint Hill size. Another possibility is that
they did but then "contracted straight down vertical" and are no
longer Saint Hill size. What if an org makes it to Saint Hill size
and then crashes before the awards are given? I never thought of that
before. Is it one of the reasons we never hear the stat of the number
of orgs that are Saint Hill size *now*?


Anyway, after that DM gave a quick recap but I wasn't listening. I
was wondering again what's so ideal about the "ideal orgs." But there
wasn't much time to do that before I had to start thinking about how I
was going to make a fast retreat to get the hell out of there. One
thing for sure about "ideal orgs" is that it has made "dodge the reg"
one of my favorite games these days.


This is true.


Cerridwen


http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/


"Informing people doesn't involve trying to silence those who disagree
with you." --Prignillius
 
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