Free to shine
Shiny & Free
I have decided to post this, even though it is very personal. Ours is not the only family. And because many people knew her.
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My mother Joy James passed away Monday night 20th July, peacefully. The 'peace' provided by morphine, because, bless her heart, she struggled right to the end of her 84 years. She had diabetes, heart problems and finally advanced dementia. She had my dad on one side and my sweet young niece on the other … she had arrived minutes before and provided the rush of pure love that my mum needed to ease her pain.
I don't mean physical pain here, medication took care of that. I mean spiritual pain, as I will explain.
Mum was a battler and yet a woman of her generation, the 30's. She was expected to marry and raise a family with her husband as the sole authority. That didn't always suit her and yet she was bound by society and circumstance to follow, and she did. Mostly.
She and my dad Bill met through the Methodist church they both attended and were inseparable from that time on.
Both devout Christians, Mum was a teacher and dad a carpenter, they had 6 children within 10 years. Dad built us all a house 'in the bush', (now a luxury area of Sydney) doing most of the work himself. I am the eldest child and I can honestly say that I had a pretty normal and happy childhood. We went to Church every Sunday and had a typical Australian suburban life through the 50's and 60's.
In later years I came to understand just how difficult that life was for Mum though. Dad was working all hours and she was left in the middle of nowhere to raise 6 children, alone and without support. The odd grandparent visits were more a trial of judgement for her and I admire the amazing strength it took to do what she did. I remember when she learned to drive and took all us kids up the road to the local milk bar (general grocery store) which was the only shop within many miles. She hit the accelerator instead of the brake and ended up in a clump of trees … no damage and after recovering from the shock it was all just so exciting because Mum could now drive us places. She was so determined not to allow her isolation to continue.
Then in 1964 our life changed forever. Dad found scientology.
He was always and still is a spiritual seeker and in that period of his life it seemed to provide the answers for him. After a full day's labour he would drive 25 miles each way into Sydney org to do courses, which made Mum's life that much harder. She resented it terribly. I was not particularly aware of the extent of this until a few years later when my brother and I first went into the org and started 'talking the talk', as you do. Mum would go ballistic - “don't you do that ack thing to me!” she raged at her innocently arrogant offspring.
However she really had no choice but to follow her husband. When Dad decided that the whole family was going to join the Sea Org in 1968, she did what a good wife did and packed up the family of 6 children, and when Dad sold the house for a pittance and we set off across the world to follow his dream. She told my brother she “was worried for his mortal soul” and prayed for him, and she did what she felt would help him most as the trip was only supposed to be for 6 months. There were quite a few other families that did the same at the time, even though scientologists were banned from entering the UK for study or work. By the time we arrived, Mum had somehow accepted scientology and over the next decades became totally immersed in the life, maybe even more so than dad. We did not make it to the ship to join the Sea Org, thank goodness, and settled at Saint Hill.
______________________________
My mother Joy James passed away Monday night 20th July, peacefully. The 'peace' provided by morphine, because, bless her heart, she struggled right to the end of her 84 years. She had diabetes, heart problems and finally advanced dementia. She had my dad on one side and my sweet young niece on the other … she had arrived minutes before and provided the rush of pure love that my mum needed to ease her pain.
I don't mean physical pain here, medication took care of that. I mean spiritual pain, as I will explain.
Mum was a battler and yet a woman of her generation, the 30's. She was expected to marry and raise a family with her husband as the sole authority. That didn't always suit her and yet she was bound by society and circumstance to follow, and she did. Mostly.
She and my dad Bill met through the Methodist church they both attended and were inseparable from that time on.
Both devout Christians, Mum was a teacher and dad a carpenter, they had 6 children within 10 years. Dad built us all a house 'in the bush', (now a luxury area of Sydney) doing most of the work himself. I am the eldest child and I can honestly say that I had a pretty normal and happy childhood. We went to Church every Sunday and had a typical Australian suburban life through the 50's and 60's.
In later years I came to understand just how difficult that life was for Mum though. Dad was working all hours and she was left in the middle of nowhere to raise 6 children, alone and without support. The odd grandparent visits were more a trial of judgement for her and I admire the amazing strength it took to do what she did. I remember when she learned to drive and took all us kids up the road to the local milk bar (general grocery store) which was the only shop within many miles. She hit the accelerator instead of the brake and ended up in a clump of trees … no damage and after recovering from the shock it was all just so exciting because Mum could now drive us places. She was so determined not to allow her isolation to continue.
Then in 1964 our life changed forever. Dad found scientology.
He was always and still is a spiritual seeker and in that period of his life it seemed to provide the answers for him. After a full day's labour he would drive 25 miles each way into Sydney org to do courses, which made Mum's life that much harder. She resented it terribly. I was not particularly aware of the extent of this until a few years later when my brother and I first went into the org and started 'talking the talk', as you do. Mum would go ballistic - “don't you do that ack thing to me!” she raged at her innocently arrogant offspring.
However she really had no choice but to follow her husband. When Dad decided that the whole family was going to join the Sea Org in 1968, she did what a good wife did and packed up the family of 6 children, and when Dad sold the house for a pittance and we set off across the world to follow his dream. She told my brother she “was worried for his mortal soul” and prayed for him, and she did what she felt would help him most as the trip was only supposed to be for 6 months. There were quite a few other families that did the same at the time, even though scientologists were banned from entering the UK for study or work. By the time we arrived, Mum had somehow accepted scientology and over the next decades became totally immersed in the life, maybe even more so than dad. We did not make it to the ship to join the Sea Org, thank goodness, and settled at Saint Hill.
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Sue - thinking of you.
