Rest in Peace Bill and Joy James ... my parents.

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Am so sorry about your mum. The part about your child who parents adopted with the mind set that it was a postulated family existence did strike a chord with me, and think it goes a long way in explaining your mum's actions and reactions. In other words, in her world, we are all just spirits, and this spirit obviously was destined to be in your family somehow. I don't support this view, but at the same time understand it. Obviously it conveniently side steps you and your decisions, own family etc. But I've seen this, 'logic' before in other scientology families.

I love that your mum was able to articulate an apology of sorts before she went. It must have been heartfelt, and although you don't particularly highlight it in your other thread, she must have had a special place in her heart for you as the oldest.
 

SonatheFixer

Patron with Honors
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Hi FTS, condolences to you and your family.

Your mum sounds like she was a wonderful person. I hope your dad will cope well.

Thank you for your story.
 

lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

My sincerest condolences to you Sue.

Thank you for sharing your family's story - it certainly takes a lot of courage to share such intimate part of our life in a such emotional moment.

You mother apology and how you talk about her tells that ,despite sad outcome of cult in your family relationships, love still remains in both of your heart. I wish somewhere, in any dimension, you are all reunited in light & joy.

Hoping you are loved by dear ones
please accept a warm hug I would give to you!

:hug:

Rest in peace Sue's mom and wish Sue's dad a serene journey!
May all your heart heal!

Blessings
:rose:
 
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Happy Days

Silver Meritorious Patron
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

We send our love, thoughts and condolences to you Sue and your family.

I read your posts above they were sad, beautiful and heart felt. :heartflower:

RIP Joy James :rose:
 

Intentionally Blank

Scientology Widow
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Dear Sue,

Thank you for such an open heart sharing of your mother's story and your own. I'm so touched by your love and compassion, I don't really have words to express it. Having lost my own mother in the past year I offer my condolences to you and yours for your loss. Wishing you love and healing and peace.

Blanky
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Am so sorry about your mum. The part about your child who parents adopted with the mind set that it was a postulated family existence did strike a chord with me, and think it goes a long way in explaining your mum's actions and reactions. In other words, in her world, we are all just spirits, and this spirit obviously was destined to be in your family somehow. I don't support this view, but at the same time understand it. Obviously it conveniently side steps you and your decisions, own family etc. But I've seen this, 'logic' before in other scientology families.

I love that your mum was able to articulate an apology of sorts before she went. It must have been heartfelt, and although you don't particularly highlight it in your other thread, she must have had a special place in her heart for you as the oldest.

Thanks ... yes that's exactly what happened. I was so very young, and in shock and it seemed the sensible thing to do. I did write more about it on my blog under Family Truths in the link below. Some years ago a counsellor said to me gently "you lost your baby" and I was able to start to deal with the grief and emotions that had been shut away.

Both Mum and Dad told me that they were proud that I stood up and spoke out. What more could I ask? They knew I was independent and doing ok and that's what any parent wants. Recently Dad too has expressed regret at what happened to the family ... that is his journey to reconcile and he also did his best. I try not to judge, and sometimes succeed. I too have made many mistakes as a parent and all you can do is become aware of that and change what you do. How much is karma, destiny or choice are perhaps questions I will never have a complete answer to, though I keep searching, and in the meantime it's best to be just doing what you are doing and going with love over all the other stuff.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

My sincerest condolences to you Sue.

Thank you for sharing your family's story - it certainly takes a lot of courage to share such intimate part of our life in a such emotional moment.

You mother apology and how you talk about her tells that ,despite sad outcome of cult in your family relationships, love still remains in both of your heart. I wish somewhere, in any dimension, you are all reunited in light & joy.

Hoping you are loved by dear ones
please accept a warm hug I would give to you!

:hug:

Rest in peace Sue's mom and wish Sue's dad a serene journey!
May all your heart heal!

Blessings
:rose:

Thankyou sweetheart. Yes there are some family who love and support me, and I them. I have been subjected to some very intense what I call emotional Fair Game the last 18 months. Scientology is truly evil. The intention was to have all my large extended family shun me, and it worked on most but not on some. And out of the ashes is growing some true family relationships that have firmer roots. I have a darling new grandson who will not be tainted by scientology ... so the ripple through the generations stops here. :)
 

SPsince83

Gold Meritorious Patron
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Thanks ... yes that's exactly what happened. I was so very young, and in shock and it seemed the sensible thing to do. I did write more about it on my blog under Family Truths in the link below. Some years ago a counsellor said to me gently "you lost your baby" and I was able to start to deal with the grief and emotions that had been shut away.

Both Mum and Dad told me that they were proud that I stood up and spoke out. What more could I ask? They knew I was independent and doing ok and that's what any parent wants. Recently Dad too has expressed regret at what happened to the family ... that is his journey to reconcile and he also did his best. I try not to judge, and sometimes succeed. I too have made many mistakes as a parent and all you can do is become aware of that and change what you do. How much is karma, destiny or choice are perhaps questions I will never have a complete answer to, though I keep searching, and in the meantime it's best to be just doing what you are doing and going with love over all the other stuff.

I'm sorry for your loss. Even at advanced ages, you only have one mother and father and the loss is painful. Reconciliation helps, though. It limits personal repercussions later on. You'll get through.
 
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Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

It would be worth the wait - you have such a gift FTS.

What a journey you have had, and what a family.

I am very sorry for your loss.

You possess a wonderful sensitivity and connection to people, how you achieved that given the circumstances I have no idea, but it makes you truly beautiful and special.

:rose:
Still

Crikey, I don't know how to respond to that. :) Thankyou!
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Dear Sue,

Thank you for such an open heart sharing of your mother's story and your own. I'm so touched by your love and compassion, I don't really have words to express it. Having lost my own mother in the past year I offer my condolences to you and yours for your loss. Wishing you love and healing and peace.

Blanky

:hug::heartflower:
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Dear Sue, thank you for sharing about this loss and giving us a glimpse into your Mum's life, your parent's marriage and the influences of Scientology upon it, yourself and the family over time. It seems as if reconciliations have brought some sunlight to help disinfect the bigger issues you all faced at one time, enough anyway to ease your Mum's conscience enough so that she could depart in peace knowing she was loved and forgiven.

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Over time, having read your blog and forum posts, it seems to me that things have been getting better for the James Family, even though they may not always seem that way to you because of Scientology's remaining influence and hold on a few family members still and the heartache it causes.

But don't lose faith. Things can and do change. Your parents evolution out, your evolution out and having the courage to speak out are testimonies to this. In the meantime, know that you are loved and supported by many here, myself included...

3595_thinking_of_you_greeting_card.png
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Mary that is such a lovely post, thank you so much. I know you understand the complexities that can happen and why I sometimes have to talk around things.
I am relieved mum is no longer suffering ... and she was.

And thanks to everyone I haven't replied directly too as well. I'm just tired but so grateful for the support.
 

vumba

Danielle Chamberlin
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

[QUOTE=Free to shine;1053654 Oh Sue my heartfelt condolences. Your parents were good to me and I remember your mum with great affection. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that Joy's passing might bring your family closer again? Xxx
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Goodbye Dad

My dad Bill James passed away last night, almost exactly 6 weeks after my mum.
I am continuing on this thread as they were a unit, inseparable from the moment they met. His kidneys finally failed, he had a heart attack and he was gone within days, following mum. He said his heart was "broken from sobbing".

Mum's story above is Dad's story, except that he was the lynch pin that held the family together and very much dictated the course of the events in our lives. He was the spiritual seeker, and we all followed and coped as best we could.

I am most thankful for his wisdom. No matter the crisis in my life, whatever it was, he seemed to say the right thing and be available to listen and discuss deep spiritual concepts. And the last few decades, this was not scientology. He left that behind long ago and was unable to speak out lest it endanger the survival of both himself and mum. I can speak about that now. No matter the pressure brought to bear, he refused to disconnect from me … he just quietly kept that connection under the radar.

We discussed most everything you can think of, Dad and I. For years I was his only constant contact with 'the outside world' … when his health was failing, and Mum's more so … and his constant comment then was that “I am in prison 24/7”. My heart ached for him but there was nothing I could do except be there for him as he had for me most of my life, at the other end of the phone.

The last year of my parent's lives has been awful. Again, there was nothing I could do to change the situation they were in … 10 months after being moved into a nursing home they are both gone, as predicted by the doctors they had previously been seeing.

I know that my parents both made their choices. As is their right, as we all do. The consequences may not be what they expected, however that's the way it goes. Life is what we make it. I know he was proud of me speaking out against scientology when he was unable to. I know he had regrets about what happened to the extended family. I forgive him any failings, wholeheartedly. Because he was a good man, and he loved us, even if he had difficulty showing it sometimes. He lived his life and had many happy times too. I am too sad right now to write more.

My brother posted this on Facebook, which says it all for me too. (Taken a week ago.)

qq4ift.jpg


These pools of wisdom, now evaporated to become part of the Cloud of infinite knowledge and love.
Vale, Dad.
 

Glenda

Crusader
Re: Rest in Peace Joy James ... my mum.

Rest in Peace Bill and Joy.

Their love continues.

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21-1%20400x240.jpg

My sincerest condolences to you all.

With love
Glenda
 
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