JustSheila
Crusader
Some time ago, Bill Franks wrote a post here to tell us that when people leave (blow) it is not because of missed withholds (things someone did wrong) as L Ron Hubbard stated, but due to ARC breaks (upsets). Franks wrote that L Ron not only knew this, but intentionally made sure others were misinformed to believe it was their own fault. Bill Franks' post is here: http://www.forum.exscn.net/threads/bill-franks-story-about-brainwashing-thread-merge.22265/
Some years ago, I read my pc folders. Well, the current (fat one with summary) and a couple of the more recent ones, anyway. Since I worked in the tech area, I had access to them, so I did.
I had one rock slam in there. Of course, the C/S and others believed it was due to "evil intentions." For years afterward, I believed that, too. It's not something I normally think about, but in the last two weeks the same subject came up that apparently caused a rock slam and it triggered this memory of reading that in my pc folder.
Now that I'm long out of Scientology and not on a meter, I know what I felt when the needle did that. What I felt was TERROR. It was something I'd been terrified about since I was a kid and still scares me.
Now, thirty years later, I'm aware that wasn't an evil intention at all and I'm dealing with that fear. Wow.
I've seen a few rock slams on others when I was in Scientology and there were definitely no rings or other metal things around to cause them, because I checked. It's a crazy needle reaction (when it really occurs). It's not like anything else. What causes it may not be consistent from person to person, either, but maybe this makes sense to a few other people here.
For me, it was just ONE MORE TRAP that L Ron Hubbard worked into Scientology. Here was something that a trained counselor would have addressed by taking up that fear so it would be resolved and I could happily and confidently get on with my life. I went through my life with that fear, that terror, avoiding it more than ever after Scientology since it was apparently an area that was a "source of evil." I made things excessively difficult for myself with that avoidance and had done it for so long, I actually forgot about it. This wasn't some wholetrack figment of my imagination, either, but something very real in life that scared the bajeebies out of me. The subject of my rock slam happened to also be one of those groups that L Ron Hubbard constantly raged against as "evil." Imagine the mindfuck: I was terrified of a group that L Ron Hubbard claimed was evil and my terror was called "evil intentions" instead of fear. Instead of addressing that fear, it was reinforced with wild, crazy stories by the cult (similar to its "industry of death" museum) and I was taught to avoid and attack. I (subconsciously) hid in Scientology and the Sea Org for years, thinking it was a "safe" and "sane" place, as it reinforced that terror to grow ever bigger.
Sheesh.
If you ever had a rockslam or saw one, maybe, just maybe, it was just something that scared you, not something you wanted to destroy, as the tech told you. Just like what Bill Franks said about ARC breaks, I think L Ron intentionally mistated the cause of rock slams, just to keep us locked in our own fears and make us easier to control.
Some years ago, I read my pc folders. Well, the current (fat one with summary) and a couple of the more recent ones, anyway. Since I worked in the tech area, I had access to them, so I did.
I had one rock slam in there. Of course, the C/S and others believed it was due to "evil intentions." For years afterward, I believed that, too. It's not something I normally think about, but in the last two weeks the same subject came up that apparently caused a rock slam and it triggered this memory of reading that in my pc folder.
Now that I'm long out of Scientology and not on a meter, I know what I felt when the needle did that. What I felt was TERROR. It was something I'd been terrified about since I was a kid and still scares me.
Now, thirty years later, I'm aware that wasn't an evil intention at all and I'm dealing with that fear. Wow.
I've seen a few rock slams on others when I was in Scientology and there were definitely no rings or other metal things around to cause them, because I checked. It's a crazy needle reaction (when it really occurs). It's not like anything else. What causes it may not be consistent from person to person, either, but maybe this makes sense to a few other people here.
For me, it was just ONE MORE TRAP that L Ron Hubbard worked into Scientology. Here was something that a trained counselor would have addressed by taking up that fear so it would be resolved and I could happily and confidently get on with my life. I went through my life with that fear, that terror, avoiding it more than ever after Scientology since it was apparently an area that was a "source of evil." I made things excessively difficult for myself with that avoidance and had done it for so long, I actually forgot about it. This wasn't some wholetrack figment of my imagination, either, but something very real in life that scared the bajeebies out of me. The subject of my rock slam happened to also be one of those groups that L Ron Hubbard constantly raged against as "evil." Imagine the mindfuck: I was terrified of a group that L Ron Hubbard claimed was evil and my terror was called "evil intentions" instead of fear. Instead of addressing that fear, it was reinforced with wild, crazy stories by the cult (similar to its "industry of death" museum) and I was taught to avoid and attack. I (subconsciously) hid in Scientology and the Sea Org for years, thinking it was a "safe" and "sane" place, as it reinforced that terror to grow ever bigger.
Sheesh.
If you ever had a rockslam or saw one, maybe, just maybe, it was just something that scared you, not something you wanted to destroy, as the tech told you. Just like what Bill Franks said about ARC breaks, I think L Ron intentionally mistated the cause of rock slams, just to keep us locked in our own fears and make us easier to control.