Scientology Haiku

[Churchill]

..




What is true for me,
What is real for me, is this--
This is a 100% standard haiku, meter of 5-7-5, of this I have total certainty.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Haiku auditing:
Run "Hai & OK", to Ron.
Cog's Bye & OhKringe!








In case that is too cryptic. LOL

In the Professional Auditor's Bulletin No. 123, called "THE REALITY SCALE", Hubbard says :

"Now we get this fellow. He has no reality on Scientology, but he's got a toothache. We have him say 'Hello' to the tooth, have the tooth say 'Okay' to that hello. Have the tooth say 'Hello' to him, and have him say 'Okay' to the tooth. Which makes a two-way comm[unication]. Have him do this a few times and the toothache goes - poof!"

Likewise, running "hello ("hi", "hai") and okay" on a Scientologist long enough, and the Scientologist also goes "poof!"

Profound science, using words like "poof", isn't it? LOL

 

[Commander Birdsong]

...........................................
...........................................
............................................
....dragonfly hovers.................
..brittle reeds in dry lake bed....
...thursday two o'clock...........
.........................................
.........................................
..................................

 

[Purple Rain]

..

Haiku auditing:
Run "Hai & OK", to Ron.
Cog's Bye & OhKringe!








In case that is too cryptic. LOL




Likewise, running "hello ("hi", "hai") and okay" on a Scientologist long enough, and the Scientologist also goes "poof!"

Profound science, using words like "poof", isn't it? LOL

Shouldn't it be "Hai and (far)k u!"

 

[Churchill]

When you said "Haiku"

and I replied "Gesundheit",

you gave me a cold.

 

[He-man]

I wake, reluctant
Too cold to get out of bed
But I need to pee

 

[Purple Rain]

On this message board
I sit procrastinating
Assignments undone

My new friend Kathryn
Has said she will be cranky
So must get them in

 

[Leland]

I wake, reluctant
Too cold to get out of bed
But I need to pee

Some men have an old plastic bottle at the side of the bed....just for this reason...

 

[Jump]

Some men have an old plastic bottle at the side of the bed....just for this reason...

eww eww eww eww eww
eww eww eww eww eww eww eww
eww eww eww eww eww

 

[Anonycat]

On this message board
I sit procrastinating
Assignments undone

My new friend Kathryn
Has said she will be cranky
So must get them in

You're in school now
Enough with the roos and guys
Now get back to work!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I wake, reluctant
Too cold to get out of bed
But I need to pee

I like. Can I try a version of that, having to do with waking up from the coma of Scientology?

I wake, rejoicing.
Too wog to get out of head
No need to Pee-Cee.​

 

[He-man]

Some men have an old plastic bottle at the side of the bed....just for this reason...

No bottle by bed
Wife would kick me out poor me
Life should be nicer

 

[He-man]

I like. Can I try a version of that, having to do with waking up from the coma of Scientology?

I wake, rejoicing.
Too wog to get out of head
No need to Pee-Cee.​

No one knows me now
Like waking up from a dream
Welcome to real life

 

[He-man]

Still an anxious man
Even when friends surround me
Fear of being called

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

...


Scientology
Did not go clear or OT
NCG. . . SP

 

[Churchill]

ARC broken...

my family gone...

certs are all I have.



On the window sill

is a picture of Hubbard

smiling at my pain.


Where are my loved ones?

tsunami swept them away.

Fuck you, Scientology

 

[No One]

New Monitor

Now my screen is clean
I can see all the bullshit
Even more clearly

 

[No One]

Honeybear Bottle
Squeezing made a farting sound
I laughed to myself

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

This thread should never have dieded imho, soooooooooo~

I actually love the concept and structure of haikus, written many over the years, but mostly kinda derpy *SIGH*, but non-the-less, since a link to this thread was recently posted, um, shall we sally forth?



Old Mother Hubbard,
An ego-slut with nothing,
Food for the fishies.


Escaping the fraud,
A mountain of grief and hope,
So lucky to leave.

Good intentions fall,
The sad intentions fall deaf,
A bell rings, its you.

Clouds be-knight my day,
The frost it cools my heart,
Depart so gently.



I know these kinda suck, but the nice thing about haikus, is their directness of thought, and so, for anyone who cares to read, I leave you with a few more spontaneous spews~


I live cannot live life,
Through another man's blind eyes,
You haz no power.

The bird on my porch,
Is not singing for my soul,
But for happiness.

My universe sings,
A song of discovery,
Move forward my friends.


All!

 

[No One]

Those are pretty great
They really don't suck at all
Haikus are good fun