Scientology: What broke the spell for you?

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
It's a bit like being a smoker, first you stop buying cigarettes, then you make excuses why you can't be around other smokers in case you fall back into bad habits, then you think it smells awful, and then finally can't see how you ever smoked.

Although ex smokers are the most intolerant. :)
 

Boojuum

Silver Meritorious Patron
The other thing that really closed the door for me on Scientology was finding out that the SO #1 line was a lie.

It's seems stupid in retrospect but it was such a blatant lie. I had trusted LRH until then.

And the other severe breech of trust: the use of session data or metered interview information against me. After that happened just ONCE, the sessions were never safe and the I didn't want auditing from anyone in the COS.

It was about losing trust.
 

Bill

Gold Meritorious Patron
A trip to Flag, the so-called 'friendliest place on earth'. It was very unpleasant, expensive, and ineffectual, except to make me realize that there was no place to go in Scientology that could or would actually help me. Comically enough, a decent garden-variety psychologist has helped me more in the last three years (largely covered through my companies' health plan - something else you don't get when you slave for Scientology) than all of the help I got in my 33+ years in Scientology.

Going to Flag made me realize that the badness went all the way to the top, and indeed got worse the higher you went.

The damned people who labor in the higher reaches of Scientology - they have done and are doing a lot of harmful things to their hapless victims. In the end, "I was just forwarding command intention" doesn't absolve them of the responsibility for the lives they have ruined and are ruining.

I am reminded of the original Crusades - a 'moral' effort gone totally wrong. A few Norman nobles' sons established their petty kingdoms, soon lost, otherwise all ended in horror, death and destruction. What remains? A few blood soaked piles of broken masonry in the Eastern Mediterranean. Soon enough we will have the 'Ideal Orgs' standing as empty testament to Hubbard's 'crusade' and Miscavage's greed.


Me, I wish I could apologize to the few people my ex-wife and I got involved in Scientology. We did them no favors.
Yeah, Flag, the "Mecca of Technical Perfection" was the final straw for me too. If ever there was a location that epitomized the ultimate result of Scientology, it was and is Flag. The rudeness, the uncaring, the raw greed, the lack of results and the fawning worship of wealth - it's all there in abundance.

I realize that what kept me in Scientology until then was my local org. Yes, it was struggling and failing. Yes, there were lack of results. Yes, the greed was trickling down but my friends were there, they were good people who really wanted to help others and who were the opposite of what Flag turned out to be.

What I didn't know until Flag and later was that the good, local Scientologists were not the result of Scientology, they were the innocent victims of Scientology. The Scientology they promoted, supported and believed in was the "Potemkin village" that had trapped them.

Flag unveiled the real Scientology - and it was evil and disgusting.
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
Bumping this thread - good stuff here!

I had never read Monica Pignotti's story before today. It's a bit long, but very well written, and full of insights that anyone who has been in the cult or is thinking of leaving, should read. She writes a ton of good information about life on the ship, the RPF, Quentin Hubbard and what really happened before he died. And most of her story is from the 70's BEFORE DM took over.

I really recommend it: http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/pignotti/
 
Being on staff killed it for me. Working in Div 1 and collecting the weekly stats showed me that the global expansion planet clearing hype was a crock. Then I took on a wog job doing menial cleaning chores because org pay was nil. Turns out my seniors, the HAS and the CO were also working for the same company, scrubbing toilets so they could afford to continue clearing the planet. In winter, the homeless DBs came into the org pretending to be doing the OCA because it was warm inside, but they were hunted out because they were smelly and had no money. Turns out that there was no such ethical humanitarian group after all.
 

xemnu

Patron with Honors
Many things broke the spell:
- seeing all my friends leave. At some point you can't keep up the pretense that there was something wrong with all of them. There must be something wrong with Scientology.
- finding out the real stats of Scientology. 20 year long term emergency. People leaving as fast if not faster than they join (a confession from a recruiter who was leaving). After I left I realized that recruitment drives weren't done because Scn was "expanding" but because the staff of higher orgs was actually contracting.
- finding out that Scn didn't always win their legal cases (a confession from an OSA staff member)
- seeing Miscavige and realizing he's what's wrong with Scientology.
- seeing rumor campaigns against highly ranked Scientologists from other highly ranked Scientologists
- noticing tech alter-is from RTC (well I saw it as it came from Gold but when I checked it, it came from RTC)
- finding out from some long-time Scientologists that Scn doesn't do anything for them anymore and seeing how Scn then starts to spread rumors these are no-case gain (which leads to the assumption these have overts and it's their fault).
- realizing that there are hundreds of ways to repair a pc and hence that it's doubtful that Scn works since all these repair lists point to the fact it very often doesn't work.
- seeing many Scientologists (including OTs) lose their gains and starting to doubt it's due to PTSness. All those excuses (PTSness, NCG, etc) started to look like justifications (which they are).
- finding out Miscavige wasn't on source (he didn't study in a classroom nor received auditing)

Curiously it's the Data series tech that made me able to see the sum of outpoints from Scientology.
It's also the fact that for dissemination purposes I was supposed to read wog magazines and newspapers.

- It's also (Sea Org) missions to various cities which showed me wogs were decent and not stupid and that though the world was different than SO life it wasn't as bad as the events videos made it look.

It's a young MAA admitting she lied to her Scientologist grandma about life in the Sea Org because it would be "out-reality"

The HCOB Mutual out-ruds made me realize SO staff had their own peculiar blindness and misconceptions.

I also saw a number of people who had gone stark raving mad on Scientology auditing.

Then after i left, finding out that most of the former 1960s St Hill staff weren't in good graces made me challenge a number of things.
Then I also found the true circumstances of Hubbard's death, his addiction, his psychological problems, his other wives and children.
I read his Admissions.
I found out how the new management took power, subverting the balance of powers.

Oh! and I had a similar experience to enturbulator's.

Just making that list shows how horrible Scientology and the Sea org are and I guess people who have never been in must wonder how one could stay for so long but the thing is we usually censure our own thoughts. We can't allow ourselves to think about these things otherwise it would show up under the E-Meter. Thought police.
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
The other thing that really closed the door for me on Scientology was finding out that the SO #1 line was a lie.

It's seems stupid in retrospect but it was such a blatant lie. I had trusted LRH until then.

And the other severe breech of trust: the use of session data or metered interview information against me. After that happened just ONCE, the sessions were never safe and the I didn't want auditing from anyone in the COS.

It was about losing trust.

I'm with you on that! I was already out and on the internet but the disappointment when I found out about the SO #1 line... it wasn't stupid, Boojuum, we were lied to. WE put our trust in that. Many staff and SO do not know how important that line was for the public... how it was made to be a real trusted source for us. I was so sad and disgusted when I found out... I thought, " how many others will feel as betrayed when they find out?" Well, mostly public members ( or those with some staff experience but mostly experience as a public - especially from the 60s and 70s), we saw it differently and trusted that it was him because that was the tech and pl of the SO #1 line.
 
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