Scientology: World's most expensive ghost story.


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Today being Halloween, maybe it's a good time to say what I have been thinking for a long time.

Scientology is simply a ghost story.

Well, to give proper credit, it's the World's Most Expensive Ghost Story!

$500,000 for the full story.

When Hubbard began this story, the First Draft didn't even mention ghosts, but instead tried to scare everyone with engrams. They were a little scary but people lost interest.

Now, Ron had quite a bit of experience writing ghost stories and learned much from both his successes as a pulp fiction writer and his monumental failures. Back before Dianetics he wrote a terror-filled-tale called Excalibur. And he claimed that people leaped out of skyscrapers to their death because it was super-scary!

The amazing story behind Excalibur was revealed by Arthur J. Cox in the July, 1952, issue of Science-Fiction Advertiser, a magazine published by science-fantasy fans in Glendale, California. In 1948, Hubbard told the California fans that during an operation performed on him for injuries received while in the Navy, he was actually dead for eight minutes. As Cox tells it, "Hubbard realized that while he was dead, he had received a tremendous inspiration, a great Message which he must impart to others. He sat at his typewriter for six days and nights and nothing came out -- then, Excalibur emerged. Excalibur contains the basic metaphysical secrets of the universe. He sent it around to some publishers; they all hastily rejected it.... He locked it away in a bank vault. But then, later, he informed us that he would try publishing a 'diluted' version of it.... Dianetics, I was recently told by a friend of Hubbard's, is based upon one chapter of Excalibur."

On Hubbard's advertising sheets, the blurb for Excalibur is worth quoting. "Mr. Hubbard wrote this work in 1938. When four of the first fifteen people who read it went insane, Mr. Hubbard withdrew it and placed it in a vault where it remained until now. Copies to selected readers only and then on signature. Released only on sworn statement not to permit other readers to read it. Contains data not to be released during Mr. Hubbard's stay on earth. The complete fast formula of clearing. The secret not even Dianetics disclosed. (WIKI)

So, after Dianetics Ron the Writer needed to write something much scarier and so he came up with the the whopper of Scientology and Operating Thetans. That was pretty cool but people kept losing interest until he finally re-wrote the story and threw in some actual GHOSTS!

Body Thetans!

That's when things really took off (ca 1967) and for the past 41 years the Xenu Ghost Story has been the centerpiece of Scientology's fabled bridge to total freedom.

There is but one story in Scientology that stood the test of time and that is the "You is haunted!" story whose first chapter is called OT III.

If you take away the ghosts, there is nothing left of Scientology except a few deluded people talking about Clear. Hubbard tried to make Scientology work from 1950 to 1967 with an incalculable number of new techniques "guaranteed to deliver a real Clear for the first time!" He couldn't find anything that worked in those 17 years and, ever the showman, he knew that his audience was grumbling and leaving the theater. So, he stopped trying to sell Clear and started to sell Ghosts.

Secret ghosts that nobody was allowed to talk about.

Secret ghosts that nobody could see.

Secret ghosts that could only be exorcised with the secret OT tech.

Well, eventually the super-secret ghost story hit the internet and wasn't so secret any more.

Scientology tried so hard to turn back time and hide the secret, but it was impossible.

Remember, no ghost story = nobody scared.

Nobody scared = nobody pays for Scientology.

Nobody pays = end of Scientology.

So what does Scientology do to solve the fact that it doesn't have any scary ghost stories? It makes ITSELF scary by fair gaming and terrorizing people. Sure it scared a few folks at first.

But even that has worn thin. How many times can you jump out and yell "Boo!" before people yawn or laugh at you?

HELPFUL TIP TO SCIENTOLOGY: People are laughing at you. You are not scary any more. Go away.
Last edited:

J. Swift

Patron with Honors