*sigh* Being pressured

Terl

Patron with Honors
I'm not sure why I am posting this, I guess I just need to tell someone and to get some opinions.

A family member, who is a Scientologist, let's say she's my aunt, recently brought up the idea of her auditing me because she needed to audit someone for the course she's on. Last she knows of my involvement with the COS was that I was interested in the technology and would probably study it on my own time rather than take any courses, which at the time was true. Since then, (it's been probably 3 years) I've shifted from "interested in" to "opposed to". I managed to get off the subject of her auditing me by saying that since we had a personal relationship, it would be difficult to be comfortable and honest with her about things in the type of relationship an auditor and PC have. She seemed to understand this and get off the idea.

Lately she has been hounding me to watch the new Dianetics intro video. Finally this afternoon I let her show it to me. It was fine enough, but afterwards her passion in auditing me was reignited. Perhaps because of the video and perhaps because I wanted to do her the favour, I agreed to it. I mean, it's not like I have to pay for it and it might be fun to do together.

Then once I agreed to it the floodgates opened and she was talking to me about MY doing the course and auditing HER as well. So not going to happen. I just sat there making "Mmm.." sounds until she realised I was not interested. Then she wanted to schedule something this week and revealed 2 huge deal-breakers.
1) The auditing would take place at the local mission.

2) Someone will be in the room with us observing the sessions.

In my vision, the vision I agreed to, her and I would meet on our own time, probably at her house, and she would audit me alone. I said I wasn't sure what I was doing this week and wasn't wanting to schedule anything, she said why can't I schedule auditing and work other stuff around that, to which I laughed. I told her I didn't like the idea of having someone in the room with us and I hinted at not wanting to go to the mission. It didn't seem to do the trick and we finally parted ways with her saying she would call me tomorrow to set something up.

I can't help but feel like she is trying to get me back into Scientology again and this is her way of doing it. I wouldn't mind being her PC for a short time and seeing what happens just out of curiosity, but I have 0 intention of setting foot in the mission and being a part of the Scientology world even briefly. I would probably vomit if I did, actually.

How should I tell her?! I don't want to make things awkward between us but I feel very uncomfortable flat out telling her no, especially after agreeing to it which I should not have done and would not have done had I all the facts.... :no:
 
I'm not sure why I am posting this, I guess I just need to tell someone and to get some opinions.

A family member, who is a Scientologist, let's say she's my aunt, recently brought up the idea of her auditing me because she needed to audit someone for the course she's on. Last she knows of my involvement with the COS was that I was interested in the technology and would probably study it on my own time rather than take any courses, which at the time was true. Since then, (it's been probably 3 years) I've shifted from "interested in" to "opposed to". I managed to get off the subject of her auditing me by saying that since we had a personal relationship, it would be difficult to be comfortable and honest with her about things in the type of relationship an auditor and PC have. She seemed to understand this and get off the idea.

Lately she has been hounding me to watch the new Dianetics intro video. Finally this afternoon I let her show it to me. It was fine enough, but afterwards her passion in auditing me was reignited. Perhaps because of the video and perhaps because I wanted to do her the favour, I agreed to it. I mean, it's not like I have to pay for it and it might be fun to do together.

Then once I agreed to it the floodgates opened and she was talking to me about MY doing the course and auditing HER as well. So not going to happen. I just sat there making "Mmm.." sounds until she realised I was not interested. Then she wanted to schedule something this week and revealed 2 huge deal-breakers.
1) The auditing would take place at the local mission.

2) Someone will be in the room with us observing the sessions.

In my vision, the vision I agreed to, her and I would meet on our own time, probably at her house, and she would audit me alone. I said I wasn't sure what I was doing this week and wasn't wanting to schedule anything, she said why can't I schedule auditing and work other stuff around that, to which I laughed. I told her I didn't like the idea of having someone in the room with us and I hinted at not wanting to go to the mission. It didn't seem to do the trick and we finally parted ways with her saying she would call me tomorrow to set something up.

I can't help but feel like she is trying to get me back into Scientology again and this is her way of doing it. I wouldn't mind being her PC for a short time and seeing what happens just out of curiosity, but I have 0 intention of setting foot in the mission and being a part of the Scientology world even briefly. I would probably vomit if I did, actually.

How should I tell her?! I don't want to make things awkward between us but I feel very uncomfortable flat out telling her no, especially after agreeing to it which I should not have done and would not have done had I all the facts.... :no:

A. Tell her: no.

B. Tell her, as a pc you would not be comfortable with it.

C. Tell her, as her relative you are not comfortable with her auditing you.

D. Tell her, that having others in the room, monitoring, or videoing the session without your okay is a FUNDAMENTAL VIOLATION OF STANDARD TECH by being contrary to the CODE OF AN AUDITOR as laid out by L.Ron Hubbard. [Ergo, you couldn't possibly participate in such a "squirreled practice". :dieslaughing:]

By all means push D, it is true. But you can lay off the "squirreled practice" as that may be too "out-reality" for her and is mostly intended here for the irony's sake. :)


Mark A. Baker
 

FinallyFree

Gold Meritorious Patron
Sounds like she really wants to help you and thinks she can with auditing. I have my opinion but I think you need to make your own when it comes to wether or not you would like to receive auditing.

I WILL tell you the Mission, Orgs and anywhere else where DM has his mits is a very VERY bad place to be.

Tell her how you feel. It couldn't hurt. I peronally refused several video'ed sessions while on staff because I would never be able to "be in session" knowing I was on camera.
 

FoTi

Crusader
Per the auditing tech, as I remember it, your "Aunt" would have to ask you before she starts the session....."Is it okay if I audit you?". At that point, you can bring up again that you don't feel comfortable with being audited by someone close to you and would rather she not audit you. She would have to stop there and let you go. Another question she has to ask you before the session starts is...."Is this room okay to audit in?" You can just say....."No, there's another person here and it's not okay with me." She shouldn't start the session unless you feel the room is okay to audit in.

LRH said that auditing has to be on one's own determinism....not because another wants you to do it, otherwise it won't work. So, when she calls you tomorrow you can tell her this.....that it would be in violation of LRH's tech to audit you against your will. Doing it against your will won't give you any good results and if you go ahead and get in session with her and she tries to fly your ruds and asks you....."has a withhold been missed?", and the meter reads, she will not be allowed to let you go until you fess up what you are withholding from her. If you have to fess up and you are found out, they will then try to handle you and if you don't handle.......well.....you might end up being disconnected from your "Aunt". If you want to stay unfoundout, I would suggest refusing to go in session in the first place. Just say your don't want to. If she insists....ask her (nicely) "What part of I don't want to, don't you understand?"... LOL If she continues to push you, tell her she's being pushy and you don't like it.... ask her to please stop because she is enforcing her reality on you she's going to cause an ARC break. A Class XII Auditor at Flag told me once......Never compromise your integrity, no matter what someone else is trying to do to you....if you do, you will eat it. So just stand up for yourself. Don't take her side or let her push you around.

Anyway, good luck on this. After the church falls apart or if she decides to leave CoS at a later date, you can then ask her to audit you if you want to try it out. Also the Freezone has auditors where you could try it out.
 
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Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
It is sensible to have student auditors auditing in a common room with an auditing supervisor on hand as needed. This should act to boost the confidence of both the auditor and pc, knowing there is a seasoned pro around if anything should "go wrong," i.e., be above the ability of the student auditor to handle. It's specifically covered in Hubbard's written courseroom policies. The exact wording is something like, "Auditing in a common room is noisy and hard on auditors and pcs. But it can be done, and it makes for a better auditor." It is *usual* to do student auditing like that. And RPF auditing. And staff co-audits. OT3 pcs get their own space, but it's still in a common room if there is enough confidential space available.

Of course, all that is fine in theory, but since these days it means stepping into the lions' den of a CofS building it's a big no-no for a savvy pc.

Make whatever excuses you want to. But I think the closer you get to the building the harder it will be to get away!

Paul
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
Under no circumstances should you set foot in the org. Especially if you have any money in the bank. You will be crush-regged and it will be difficult for you to leave. If you have money, you may need to be prepared to threaten violence or call the police before they'll let you leave.

As far as how to break it to her, just say "No, not interested. Doesn't feel right, can't explain why." Keep it at bored disinterest.
 

Terl

Patron with Honors
I peronally refused several video'ed sessions while on staff because I would never be able to "be in session" knowing I was on camera.

AH, perfect. Not sessionable with someone else sitting by and observing. I get out of it with a good excuse and hopefully no hurt feelings. Is it really against policy to have someone in the room with you? I must admit when she told me that I was quite surprised to hear that was being done. Auditing should be between the PC and auditor, not PC, auditor, and audience - even if that audience is there to "grade" and assist in the process, it's just not comfortable.

Yes I could simply tell her "No longer interested", but what I am looking for here is a way to get out of it without "ARC breaks". Yes, I'm sure she is trying to help me and I am not opposed to that. Her and I have a good relationship which is why I'm conflicted on how to do this tactfully. I could tell her to fuck off about it, but neither of us will feel good if I'm abrasive with her.
 

KissMyStats

Patron with Honors
I agree with all of this advice. But remember, if you show ANY interest whatsoever, she will grab onto that and keep trying to make it happen. She is being pressured from her supes to get you started, KNOW THIS. You can politely but firmly tell her that you are not comfortable doing it for above posted reasons ....(she will then try to handle this objection) or you can try telling her that you just aren't interested right now, give her nothing to grab hold of. Tell her that you still love her and appreciate her but no thank you and then change the subject fast. She will be all about trying to handle your objection so you have to shut it down quickly and move on.
 

Terl

Patron with Honors
I'm glad I posted this afterall. All very good points. I can see clearly now! Thanks folks =)
 

Mystic

Crusader
I'm not sure why I am posting this, I guess I just need to tell someone and to get some opinions.

A family member, who is a Scientologist, let's say she's my aunt, recently brought up the idea of her auditing me because she needed to audit someone for the course she's on. Last she knows of my involvement with the COS was that I was interested in the technology and would probably study it on my own time rather than take any courses, which at the time was true. Since then, (it's been probably 3 years) I've shifted from "interested in" to "opposed to". I managed to get off the subject of her auditing me by saying that since we had a personal relationship, it would be difficult to be comfortable and honest with her about things in the type of relationship an auditor and PC have. She seemed to understand this and get off the idea.

Lately she has been hounding me to watch the new Dianetics intro video. Finally this afternoon I let her show it to me. It was fine enough, but afterwards her passion in auditing me was reignited. Perhaps because of the video and perhaps because I wanted to do her the favour, I agreed to it. I mean, it's not like I have to pay for it and it might be fun to do together.

Then once I agreed to it the floodgates opened and she was talking to me about MY doing the course and auditing HER as well. So not going to happen. I just sat there making "Mmm.." sounds until she realised I was not interested. Then she wanted to schedule something this week and revealed 2 huge deal-breakers.
1) The auditing would take place at the local mission.

2) Someone will be in the room with us observing the sessions.

In my vision, the vision I agreed to, her and I would meet on our own time, probably at her house, and she would audit me alone. I said I wasn't sure what I was doing this week and wasn't wanting to schedule anything, she said why can't I schedule auditing and work other stuff around that, to which I laughed. I told her I didn't like the idea of having someone in the room with us and I hinted at not wanting to go to the mission. It didn't seem to do the trick and we finally parted ways with her saying she would call me tomorrow to set something up.

I can't help but feel like she is trying to get me back into Scientology again and this is her way of doing it. I wouldn't mind being her PC for a short time and seeing what happens just out of curiosity, but I have 0 intention of setting foot in the mission and being a part of the Scientology world even briefly. I would probably vomit if I did, actually.

How should I tell her?! I don't want to make things awkward between us but I feel very uncomfortable flat out telling her no, especially after agreeing to it which I should not have done and would not have done had I all the facts.... :no:

So-called "auditing" is one of their big, like LARGE, hooks.

I would agree to being "audited" if first I can beat the "auditor" senseless with the cans, the chair, the table and the emeter.
 

Truth&Honesty

Patron with Honors
This sounds all too familiar..........and you are in way too deep!!!

This is how the org gets more people into their trap. In order to graduate, the new student has to bring in a "raw meat" person for an auditing session. This ensures they will have a steady inflow of new people to indoctrinate. Once there, it will be difficult to escape. And your relative will continue to pressure you to do more and more....and pay more and more.

Understand this, she is not RESPECTING your boundaries. You have already indicated you're not interested, yet she persists and persists. It's not only RUDE but it is also DYSFUNCTIONAL. For more info on this, google personal boundaries and family relationships....

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO INTO THAT ORG.

It is not your aunt's fault, she is caught in a spiders web. The fact that she cannot get anyone else but you to go into the org should be a huge red flag, but unfortunately for her it's not.

DO NOT FACILITATE HER GETTING MORE DEEPLY STUCK..... INTO THIS DANGEROUS WEB.

I know what I am talking about.....I was in the exact position your aunt is in, several decades ago.

T&H
 

TG1

Angelic Poster
I'm with Arthur, Mystic and EP. And I love them, too.

But here's another take on this subject.

You're not real good yet at telling people NOOOOOOO, are you?

As you get older, you will get better at it.

Still, consider this: If you're having a hard time telling your aunt, whom you love and who's, admittedly, an amateur at getting someone to say YES, then how hard do you think it will be to say HEEEEEEELLLLL NOOOOOOOOO! to a group of registrars, course sups, org execs and sundry other sharks who want you to sign up for your next service?

Do NOT put yourself in that vulnerable position.

Say NOOOOOOOO now. As hard as that sounds, it'll be a lot harder to get away the next time six of them gang up on you.

Don't mean to sound harsh -- just realistic. Now go tell your aunt you aren't going to do it!

TG1
 

FinallyFree

Gold Meritorious Patron
AH, perfect. Not sessionable with someone else sitting by and observing. I get out of it with a good excuse and hopefully no hurt feelings. Is it really against policy to have someone in the room with you? I must admit when she told me that I was quite surprised to hear that was being done. Auditing should be between the PC and auditor, not PC, auditor, and audience - even if that audience is there to "grade" and assist in the process, it's just not comfortable.

Yes I could simply tell her "No longer interested", but what I am looking for here is a way to get out of it without "ARC breaks". Yes, I'm sure she is trying to help me and I am not opposed to that. Her and I have a good relationship which is why I'm conflicted on how to do this tactfully. I could tell her to fuck off about it, but neither of us will feel good if I'm abrasive with her.

I am not auditor trained but it sounds liek you are talking about student auditing and that has some different rules from what I understand.

Advice is hard to give sometimes. Right now I am going for the open and honest approach, but that cannot always be done in every situation.
 

Truth&Honesty

Patron with Honors
Here are a few excuses to use......

(1) you've met one hot chick (or dude) that you are really into, but you noticed that she/he laughs hysterically whenever the word Scientology is mentioned....in fact a lot of your friends react in the same way. So.....because you value sex above just about anything else.....Scientology is definitely OUT.

(2) You don't have any "ruins".....Your Prozac medication which is almost empty makes you very happy. In fact, could she "loan" you a few bucks for a "refill" until payday?

(3) Tell her politely, that you are NOT INTERESTED in Scientology, and don't want to discuss it anymore. If she brings it up again after that, lift an eyebrow, act very concerned, and say in a very patronizing way...."Auntie...we already discussed that....don't you remember.......What else have you been forgetting lately....???"
 
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