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Featured Stages of Leaving Scientology

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by Free to shine, Jun 30, 2008.

  1. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Arnie Lerma's 8 Steps out of Scientology was a big help to me. It gave me a reference and explanation of the journey. Here is the original :
    This is my own personal view of the stages of leaving Scientology. I realise it's an individual journey and some may not agree with me, but it's worth discussing. It's around point 6 that many seem to go back and forth a bit.

    1) Noticing there is something wrong in some area.

    2) Attempting to have the wrongness corrected locally.
    (“It must be just that person’s Mus”.)

    3) Attempting to have wrongness corrected by upper manangement.
    ("The local area is not following Source.”)

    4) Personal Ethics cycles/sec checks as none of your reports were acted on and so any disagreement must be your fault. At this point you either step back in line or start seeking more information.

    5) CRISIS POINT. The realisation that orgs are not run the way you first envisioned, and the thought that it must have changed with DM and has been “taken over”.

    6) Finding out the truth about all the lies you were told. At this point you may still want to believe that some parts of the “tech” works, or that it was only in later years that it went wrong.

    7) Realising that Hubbard designed it all from the start.

    8) Realising it is a complete fraud, there are no Clears and Ots and it was all about money.

    9) Wanting to do something about it.
  2. That follows pretty much what happened with me, FTS.
  3. Neo

    Neo Silver Meritorious Patron

    Very similar for me too. Although I skipped the final Sec Checking, as I just walked away, and told them to leave me alone (ok, I gave them an incentive). They haven't fully complied (as if they would), but they have been very subtle.

    However, the good news for them (LOL) is I am up to step 9 (and I don't do subtle).

  4. sallydannce

    sallydannce Gold Meritorious Patron

    Tracks with how it was for me!
  5. programmer_guy

    programmer_guy True Ex-Scientologist

    Leaving the Church - waking up

    1. admitting that you are in poverty and it's not going to get any better than this;

    2. any WOG friends that you had are living far better than you;

    3. your goals are submerged into what LRH wanted; (i.e. all counter intention must be removed);

    4. discovering that life is much better outside Scientology.
    Anonymous100 likes this.
  6. byte301

    byte301 Crusader

    I'm @ 9 for sure.

  7. Feral

    Feral Rogue male

    Fits my experience, except I did from 1 to 3 many times and when the dark clouds of no.4 formed I slipped my way out of it, as I KNEW it would be expensive and futile.:D

    I can't say why I did not realize that there were fatal flaws the first time I did from 1 to 3!!! (nuremberg defence?):bigcry:
  8. DartSmohen

    DartSmohen Silver Meritorious Patron

    There is also another step in there; DENIAL.

    You can see things are not right, but they must be.

    You wouldn't have joined up otherwise. :confused2:
  9. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Yep!! I can honestly say that in the last week I have finally reached step nine. What FTS says just about sums it up, one does go through these stages but unfortunately for me I was stuck on point four for ten years!!!! :duh: :duh:
  10. asagai

    asagai Patron Meritorious

    For me step 9 was somewhat different:

    9. Feeling compelled to do something about it

    10. Letting the compulsion go and feeling no need to do anything

    11. Realising one's own experience is not everything and that others are still being conned, so choosing to do something about it.
  11. Neo

    Neo Silver Meritorious Patron

    Well said, as always, asagai.

  12. Headend

    Headend Patron with Honors

    What about realising that life has presented the lesson that is Scn & the Church & all is as it should be.

    Maybe we need to fully experience a lie before we can truly recognise the truth
  13. Neo

    Neo Silver Meritorious Patron

    I agree, one should be able to 'experience' all things.

    But one should also be able to act, especially to correct a wrong. Personally, I would rather act from a position of strength (that is - having come to terms with my experience) than from a position of weakness (being controlled by my experience)

  14. asagai

    asagai Patron Meritorious

    Good to see you posting again Headend! :thumbsup:

    For myself I don't regret a moment of Scn involvement it was terrible and wonderful and unmissable.

    My only urge is to correct the wrong because of the effect it has on relatively innocent people, like children who are raised in the cult without any choice in the matter.
  15. Headend

    Headend Patron with Honors

    Nice to know someone noticed, actually your a bit slow, I made a couple of posts last week.:confused2:

    Fortunately these days I have very little interest in what's right or wrong, good or bad about Ron, Scn or the Church. It's so much easier to accept life as it is, it's the good & the bad, the right & the wrong that create the balance. Realising that you can't have one without the other makes acceptance easy & acceptance makes life easy.
  16. byte301

    byte301 Crusader

    I agree asagai.

    If $cientology was just a con I could accept it and move on and have no regrets. But since it has and continues to hurt people I have to do what I can to stop it. There will be more abuses and deaths like Lisa's if it isn't stopped. I can't sit by and let that happen without at least trying to do something.
  17. Ladybird

    Ladybird Silver Meritorious Patron

    Thanks guise, what you said really speaks for me too.

    Here are a couple of my old posts on this subject:

    The EP of Clear: I mocked up my own reactive mind. (Of course you wouldn't have known you had a "reactive mind" if that old joker L. Ron Hubbard hadn't made up all those funnies about case, engrams, past lives, AAs and basic basic, etc.)

    The EP of OT7: I mocked up my own BTs. ( You wouldn't have imagined those either without his hilarious rendition of the Sci Fi xenu story, which he told with a straight face, only laughing behind your back all the way to his bank.)

    And of course next there is the ever popular "Highest Holy Level" OT8, where you find out you mocked it all up, including all those past lives and BT's you paid so dearly to "discover". The EP of OT 8: "I now know who I am not, and am ready to find out who I am".

    But you are still kept on the edge of your seat by the buffoonery of being assured that "History of Man", "Super Power", GAT, GAK, "The Basics", The L's", "OT IX, X, XI, XII...C" etc ad nauseum..... hold the TRUE keys to your "case".

    Keep it in your pants, please (your WALLET, sheesh!) for whatever latest! best! greatest! ALL NEW! release comes down the pike from the cult, it will just be another voyage of discovery into the outer limits of mans gullibility.

    This truly is an epic journey "L. Reel-em-in Huckster has devised for his enrichment at your expense.

    So for those of you who still don't get the joke, here are a couple of Ladybirds favorite EPs: (at a cost considerably less than $360,000.00)

    The EP of scientology is: I have been scammed, suckered, soul raped, ripped off and had by a con game.

    The EP of SP is: I am now free from scientology and can clearly see reality.

    Scientology mocks up it's own enemies, but thats ok because as PT Barnum said: "There's a sucker born every minute." and "No one ever lost a penny underestimating the intelligence of the common people."

    Stop being the butt of Hubbards jokes, he is not funny at all. He and his cult need to be tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail like the snake-oil salesmen of earlier times. That is all Hubbard is or ever was.


    I had a great time in scientology for many years. I really believed we were making a difference and clearing the planet. It wasn't until I was asked to do something that was out-tech, off policy and just plain WRONG that I rebelled. I was immediately put under a non-enturb order, declared SP and dumped at the bus station in the middle of the night without being allowed to say goodbye to my family, with no money, no ID and nowhere to go except back to the family I had not seen for 15 years.

    At first, I was sure it was all a mistake and just some SP on the line who didn't want me to tell on her. Then, I was writing and writing and going for review comm-evs and trying to get it straightened out. I was sure the SPs would be declared and I would get an apology.

    After a while I got on the Internet, and read all the stories and websites I could for days and weeks and months. At first it was easy to blame DM and current management.

    The more I learned the more I realized it was all a scam, and Hubbard was NOT who he said he was.

    It is a pretty big betrayal to find out you have been had by one of the biggest liars and con-men of all time.

    You get really mad!

    I relate my experience to the KUBLER ROSS "Stages of Greif"

    DENIAL- when you still want to believe it isn't true.

    ANGER- when you figure out is is true.

    BARGAINING-when you try to find a way to salvage something out of it.

    DEPRESSION-when you feel really sad and stupid and sorry for ever believing in it.

    ACCEPTANCE-when you figure out you can't change the past but you can change the future.

    I think alot of the Freezoners are really good and caring people, but they are stuck at one of the stages and aren't willing to look right now. There are a few who are just using the tech and these boards for their own selfish reasons. Those are the ones who jump all over newbies (like they did to me) and troll for customers.

    I don't think there IS a baby in the septic tank of scientology. If there ever was, it long ago died of methane gas poisoning.

    I agree that scientology management is suppressive, but I take it one step further. I think LRH was the source of all of that suppression.

    Maybe some times it helps to offer the "gains" of the "bridge" to someone who thinks the only problem is current management.

    But the truth about LRH is even more damning than the truth about current management.

    Hubbard was a certifiable paranoid schizophrenic, manic depressive acolyte of Alistair Crowley's satanic cult and a pathological liar of historic proportions.

    I do not trust one word he ever wrote (plagiarized), more so because he made up lots of "loaded" words, and redefined lots of other words to mean other than their normal usage.

    Fooling around with Hubbard and his tech opens a veritable Pandoras Box of confusion and evil, some of which may not be apparent until years later.

    I don't think the Freezone should be allowed to recruit, troll, market and proseltyze all over the board.

    I think it is more than generous that they have a tech section and a freezone section here on this board.

    If that's not enough, then they should set up their own recruitment sites and message boards with their own moderators so they can tell people what they can and can't say.

    Many scientologists of whatever flavor seem to consider any disagreement with the "tech" a personal invalidation of their "beliefs" and rights.

    I don't think we should have to tippytoe around their tender feelings all the time, or listen to their Hubbardian "answers" everytime we want to discuss something.


    I agree with you Dr. Shannon.

    Hubbard set the game up so that those at the lower levels of scientology do NOT know about the scam. Most scientologists, including most Sea Org, are true believers, and just like at each level of the Bridge, a scientologist learns more and more as he moves up the heirarchy within the cult. The experience of a public is going to be alot different from that of a Mission staff, Org staff, Sea Org, CMO, INT, etc.

    LRH wrote alot of references about games, and reading them now, after I am out, I see that he really did tell us exactly what he was doing, we just didn't see that he was doing it to us.

    Remember the saying "The best place to hide something is right in plain sight."? I think that is just what Hubbard did with alot of things.

    This is at the end of PDC lecture 39 of 12 Dec 52 titled
    "Games Processing":


    Sorry for quoting my own post, the rest of this thread is really good...but the following article I just found was helpful to my recovery as an ex SeaOrg member and is relative to this old post. - Ladybird


    9 Basic Human Needs

    "Apparently, if you chuck a frog into a pan of boiling water, it will hop straight out again. But if you put him in cold water and slowly heat it up, he will sit there until well and truly poached.

    Problems due to missing 'basics' in peoples lives tend to develop over time, and so can be easily missed. Then, when the problem arises - be it anxiety, depression, addiction or some other nasty - they can't for the life of them fathom out why!

    It's therefore a great idea to know what your own garden needs in order to grow well, so when you see something starting to wither, you can check your list and apply the necessary nutrients.
    So here's the list. (At least, our list. If you think we've missed any, do let us know!)

    1. The need to give and receive attention.

    "No Man Is An Island"
    Without regular quality contact with other people, mental condition, emotional state and behaviour can suffer quite drastically. This is often particularly obvious in elderly people who have become isolated. After days alone, their first contact may be their GP, who sees them for 10 minutes.

    They are highly likely during this short period to appear 'strange' as their thwarted need for attention asserts itself in an outpouring of communication. If the GP takes this as representative of the patient's general mental condition, they may prescribe drugs, where really a few hours of being listened to would suffice.

    You may also have noticed this in evening-class attendees who command the teacher's attention all the time, asking seemingly daft questions and not really listening to the answers!

    2. Taking heed of the mind body connection.

    This is so important, and so often neglected. Without correct and regular nutrition, sleep and exercise, your psychological state can suffer considerably. It is often seen that young people, on leaving home and the structure that provides, succumb to one mental illness or another. Their mealtimes, sleep patterns and other regular habits become disrupted, with predictable consequences.

    It seems that people are increasingly treating themselves as machines!

    3. The need for purpose, goals and meaning.

    "The devil will make work for idle hands to do."

    Perhaps the overriding element that sets human beings apart from other animals is the ability to identify, analyse and solve problems. This is what enabled us to develop to where we have.

    If this ability is under-used, the imagination can start to create problems of its own - perhaps in an attempt to give you something to do because it is not occupied doing anything else.

    Regardless, if a person is deprived of the outward focus and satisfaction created by achieving goals, mental illness is often close behind.

    The need for meaning is perhaps even more profound. Viktor Frankl's book 'Man's Search for Meaning' documents the impact of lack of meaning on concentration camp prisoners, of which he was one. He says in it that "What is the meaning of life?" is a question that is asked of you, not one that you yourself ask. It is a hugely powerful and important read when considering mental health.

    4. A sense of community and making a contribution.

    Tying in with the need for meaning, this basic need provides a context for a person. It gives them a reason for being, over and above their own personal needs, that has been shown to benefit the immune system, mental health and happiness.

    One obvious fulfiller of this need is religion, but can also be an idea shared with others, a club, charity or community work. In fact, anything that takes the focus off the self.

    5. The need for challenge and creativity .

    Learning something new, expanding horizons, improving on existing skills all provide a sensation of progress and achievement. Without this, a person can feel worthless, or that there is no real reason for their being.

    6. The need for intimacy .

    Tying in with the need for attention, it seems that people have a need to share their ideas, hopes and dreams with others close to them. For some, this can be as simple a talking to a loved pet, but for most of us, it requires that we have at least one individual with whom we can converse 'on the same level'.

    7. The need to feel a sense of control.

    "All your eggs in one basket."

    The results of total loss of control over your surroundings, relationships or body are not hard to imagine, and have been well documented.

    From survivors of torture, to someone losing their job, those who are able to maintain a sense of control somewhere in their life fare the best. This is why having a variety of interests and activities is so important.

    8. The need for a sense of status.

    It’s important to feel important. And we all know some people for whom this need is too important! However, if someone feels recognised for being a grandmother or parent or good son or daughter, this may be enough. Young people finding their feet can have improved self-esteem if they feel they have attained a position of trust and recognition.

    Young boys in Birmingham, UK who were at risk of exclusion because of behavioural problems were trained as mentors and paid for helping younger kids who were also at risk of exclusion. Not only did the mentors’ own behaviour improve, they also reported greater levels of happiness, contentment and self-esteem. Much disruptive, problematic behaviour may be a misapplied attempt to meet this need for recognition.

    9. The need for a sense safety and security.

    We need to feel our environment is basically secure and reasonably predictable. Financial security, physical safety and health, and the fulfilment of other basic needs all contribute to the completion of this need. As with all of the following needs we can take it too far and become obsessive about it – you will see this sometimes if the need for creativity is not met.

    Many Needs, One Life

    It may seem that a life that meets all of these needs would be intolerably busy. But of course, one activity can meet many needs. Charity work for example, could be said to fulfil 1, 3, 4 and 5, and could contribute to 6 and 7.

    Walking with a friend as a pastime might go towards 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6.

    Generally, what this suggests, and what has been borne out by recent research, is that a more complex life is a more healthy one.

    Then if one area of life fails or is taken away from you, your basic needs are maintained, at least in part, by those that survive.

    So the message is...

    If your progress through life has gone a bit awry for you or a friend, check if there is petrol in the car, and that the battery is charged before going to a mechanic to have the engine taken apart!
  18. byte301

    byte301 Crusader

    Excellent post, Ladybird!
  19. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    That was an incredible post Ladybird, you've managed to describe it all in a nutshell right there. Excellent stuff! :thumbsup:
  20. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    You've got big nuts, Pixie. :)