Stages of Leaving Scientology

Ladybird

Silver Meritorious Patron
We are all here now...and we will all be gone someday.

I wish everyone on this board could come to my house for a bar-b-Q and hang out in the pool and have some rum drinks with fruits and umbrellas...or some cheap red-neck keg beer or some snotty wine tasting.

It's all ok, I do so love you all! (even potty mouth Fluffy).
 

Pixie

Crusader
We are all here now...and we will all be gone someday.

I wish everyone on this board could come to my house for a bar-b-Q and hang out in the pool and have some rum drinks with fruits and umbrellas...or some cheap red-neck keg beer or some snotty wine tasting.

It's all ok, I do so love you all! (even potty mouth Fluffy).


I'd love that Ladybird, I could do with a good old knees up, get drunk, get stoned, swim, dance.. oh yes. And I love you too. :yes:
 

sallydannce

Gold Meritorious Patron
We are all here now...and we will all be gone someday.

I wish everyone on this board could come to my house for a bar-b-Q and hang out in the pool and have some rum drinks with fruits and umbrellas...or some cheap red-neck keg beer or some snotty wine tasting.

It's all ok, I do so love you all! (even potty mouth Fluffy).

Time? Place? I'm there! I do a completely insane impersonation of a wine taster - know nothing about wine but know how to taste it! :love2:
 

Wisened One

Crusader
Excellent FTS and Ladybird!

GREAT thread, FTS and AWESOME posts from Ladybird!

I relate my experience to the KUBLER ROSS "Stages of Grief"

DENIAL- when you still want to believe it isn't true.

ANGER- when you figure out is is true.

BARGAINING-when you try to find a way to salvage something out of it.

DEPRESSION-when you feel really sad and stupid and sorry for ever believing in it.

ACCEPTANCE-when you figure out you can't change the past but you can change the future.

And I relate to the above soooooo much regarding the Stages of Leaving Scn/CoS.

Wow...Excellent, thank you for that!

:bighug: to FTS and Ladybird
 

sallydannce

Gold Meritorious Patron
What about realising that life has presented the lesson that is Scn & the Church & all is as it should be.

Maybe we need to fully experience a lie before we can truly recognise the truth

I relate to this. :yes: There is nothing like living a life & discovering the truth about a lie. Very liberating! :)
 

exsomessenger

Patron Meritorious
Arnie Lerma's 8 Steps out of Scientology was a big help to me. It gave me a reference and explanation of the journey. Here is the original :
http://www.lermanet.com/cos/8steps.html
------------------------------------
This is my own personal view of the stages of leaving Scientology. I realise it's an individual journey and some may not agree with me, but it's worth discussing. It's around point 6 that many seem to go back and forth a bit.

1) Noticing there is something wrong in some area.

2) Attempting to have the wrongness corrected locally.
(“It must be just that person’s Mus”.)

3) Attempting to have wrongness corrected by upper manangement.
("The local area is not following Source.”)

4) Personal Ethics cycles/sec checks as none of your reports were acted on and so any disagreement must be your fault. At this point you either step back in line or start seeking more information.

5) CRISIS POINT. The realisation that orgs are not run the way you first envisioned, and the thought that it must have changed with DM and has been “taken over”.

6) Finding out the truth about all the lies you were told. At this point you may still want to believe that some parts of the “tech” works, or that it was only in later years that it went wrong.

7) Realising that Hubbard designed it all from the start.

8) Realising it is a complete fraud, there are no Clears and Ots and it was all about money.

9) Wanting to do something about it.


Wow, this is a very good eye opener. I have gone through all of these and some I visit frome time to time. I have family that has disconnected from me. So there are time when I think about doing the A-E so that I may have an open communication line with my family.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
We are all here now...and we will all be gone someday.

I wish everyone on this board could come to my house for a bar-b-Q and hang out in the pool and have some rum drinks with fruits and umbrellas...or some cheap red-neck keg beer or some snotty wine tasting.

It's all ok, I do so love you all! (even potty mouth Fluffy).

Thanks for that awesome info post Ladybird!
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Wow, this is a very good eye opener. I have gone through all of these and some I visit frome time to time. I have family that has disconnected from me. So there are time when I think about doing the A-E so that I may have an open communication line with my family.

I came to realise there is no point. You can't have an "open" communication line, and after a while "good roads" becomes even more frustrating. :grouch: Don't compromise yourself...we need them to wake up, and it WILL happen one day.
 

Feral

Rogue male
Thanks FTS and LADYBIRD,

The mystery of the game I had been in for 25 years has driven me to distraction since I got out.I have been quite stuck on how so many of my friends and myself have played this game which in almost every case has proven to be the complete antithesis of it's own self discription.

You guys have shown a lot of the pieces of the puzzle that I was looking for in this thread.:yes:
 

nexus100

Gold Meritorious Patron
We are all here now...and we will all be gone someday.

I wish everyone on this board could come to my house for a bar-b-Q and hang out in the pool and have some rum drinks with fruits and umbrellas...or some cheap red-neck keg beer or some snotty wine tasting.

It's all ok, I do so love you all! (even potty mouth Fluffy).

I'm free Saturday.
 

Neo

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thank you for that information, Ladybird.

It was extremely helpful, as have been a lot of the links and data referenced in many of your posts. So, again, thanks.

:)
 

Cat's Squirrel

Gold Meritorious Patron
GREAT thread, FTS and AWESOME posts from Ladybird!

I relate my experience to the KUBLER ROSS "Stages of Grief"

DENIAL- when you still want to believe it isn't true.

ANGER- when you figure out is is true.

BARGAINING-when you try to find a way to salvage something out of it.

DEPRESSION-when you feel really sad and stupid and sorry for ever believing in it.

ACCEPTANCE-when you figure out you can't change the past but you can change the future.

And I relate to the above soooooo much regarding the Stages of Leaving Scn/CoS.

Wow...Excellent, thank you for that!

:bighug: to FTS and Ladybird

Stages of grief = the tone scale (as has been pointed out by Ruth Minshull). The one difference is her "acceptance" seems more positive than Hubbard's "apathy."
 

asagai

Patron Meritorious
Some fantastic posts!

For myself I try to balance the feeling of wanting to do something about the CofS.

Any action taken from a feeling of "must" is by definition weakened.

Militancy carries a potential of entrapment in the feelings, which makes the actions less effective.

Releasing the desire to correct the CofS is achieved for me by applying the Sedona Method. Could I let go of the desire to do something about the CofS?

Questions like that restore a non-dualistic point of view. From this released stance one can choose to either do something or do nothing. Whatever the decision, from a released point of view, the result is better than from a "charged" or must/must not position.

:happydance: :happydance: :happydance:
 

asagai

Patron Meritorious
Stages of grief = the tone scale (as has been pointed out by Ruth Minshull). The one difference is her "acceptance" seems more positive than Hubbard's "apathy."

Acceptance is way more positive than Apathy.

Apathy is a constrained - "nothing can be done".

Acceptance is an empowering freedom! :thumbsup:

If you want to use the "Tone scale" which I know you do Cat, then try replacing the top of Hubbard's version with:

Courageousness - allowing
Acceptance
Peace

That contains a route to the release of anything: Allow it, then accept it, then just be! :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

So our experience with the cult and its effects upon us? Allow the feelings for a few moments, accept the feelings for a little while, then notice that you simply are! :)
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Stages of grief = the tone scale (as has been pointed out by Ruth Minshull). The one difference is her "acceptance" seems more positive than Hubbard's "apathy."

Why do you have to translate into Hubbardology? Try looking at the concepts presented just as they are. "Acceptance" has a whole different meaning than the one you seem to have assigned it. It certainly isn't apathy.
 

Mrs Pattycake

Patron with Honors
Hi everyone - Mrs Pattycake here.

You guys need to be congratulated - you have certainly managed to change my fixed dedicated glare back into wandering doubt and beyond !

Yes - I've regained my open mindedness (which I always thought was a positive attribute until I was introduced to KSW 1)... and I'm ready to go off and chase some butterflies or stop and enjoy the lovely rocks for a while - all long deserved after two decades of devoting every spare minute to "going up the Bridge".

No longer is it an overt to watch a movie or read a non LRH book - because I no longer care about getting through the Basics, listening to the Congresses, being on lines in the Org, helping on OT committee, fundraising for the ideal Org , FSMing my friends for their next service or generally being at the beck and call of "The Church" .

This website sure has helped - reading others stories, helped confirm my own opinions and made me laugh about some of the crazy stuff along the way - which at times was just what I needed.

Nearly everything in Scientology is way too serious - whilst masquerading as the greatest game with able OT's and this great "spirit of play" - what a load of crap. Like so many have found out ...if you step over the line you're dead ! If you even dare to look over the line, you're as good as dead - and taken out by your own team ! No wonder I did not dare for so long !

Lots of things led me to the decision to be an ex-Scientologist - too many to tell now - its been an interesting journey for me - I hope to be able to tell you more soon.

And yes I did sort of follow these classic steps out of Scientology - I think the clanger was when I kept rolling it back & pulling the string and come out with the "LRH" Sherman Tank !

Then everything falls into place and you wonder why you couldn't see it all along. At least reading some stories here on the board helped me to understand that the tech was not discovered by LRH "alone" and that some pretty wonderful, dedicated folk helped to put some of the tech together (and they were really trying to help people) - no wonder some results are achievable - well at least that is how it seems to me now.

Lucky for me I also have a lot of really great non-Scio friends who, whilst they do not have the full concept of what I am going through on this "What the F*@# Is Scientology" Journey - they DO understand that it is BIG for me and have all been very supportive and non judgmental and full of love - really the world is full of lovely folk - not what you are led to believe on the "inside".

Thanks everyone on the board for all your honest contributions - you did make a difference and to Emma of course for making this all possible - now everyone stand up and clap and give 3 cheers !!! ( only joking ! - I certainly won't miss those cheesey 3 hour long Int Mgt events - did anyone like them ? and the painfully predictable reg cycles after ! )
 

sallydannce

Gold Meritorious Patron
Hi everyone - Mrs Pattycake here.

You guys need to be congratulated - you have certainly managed to change my fixed dedicated glare back into wandering doubt and beyond !

Yes - I've regained my open mindedness (which I always thought was a positive attribute until I was introduced to KSW 1)... and I'm ready to go off and chase some butterflies or stop and enjoy the lovely rocks for a while - all long deserved after two decades of devoting every spare minute to "going up the Bridge".

No longer is it an overt to watch a movie or read a non LRH book - because I no longer care about getting through the Basics, listening to the Congresses, being on lines in the Org, helping on OT committee, fundraising for the ideal Org , FSMing my friends for their next service or generally being at the beck and call of "The Church" .

This website sure has helped - reading others stories, helped confirm my own opinions and made me laugh about some of the crazy stuff along the way - which at times was just what I needed.

Nearly everything in Scientology is way too serious - whilst masquerading as the greatest game with able OT's and this great "spirit of play" - what a load of crap. Like so many have found out ...if you step over the line you're dead ! If you even dare to look over the line, you're as good as dead - and taken out by your own team ! No wonder I did not dare for so long !

Lots of things led me to the decision to be an ex-Scientologist - too many to tell now - its been an interesting journey for me - I hope to be able to tell you more soon.

And yes I did sort of follow these classic steps out of Scientology - I think the clanger was when I kept rolling it back & pulling the string and come out with the "LRH" Sherman Tank !

Then everything falls into place and you wonder why you couldn't see it all along. At least reading some stories here on the board helped me to understand that the tech was not discovered by LRH "alone" and that some pretty wonderful, dedicated folk helped to put some of the tech together (and they were really trying to help people) - no wonder some results are achievable - well at least that is how it seems to me now.

Lucky for me I also have a lot of really great non-Scio friends who, whilst they do not have the full concept of what I am going through on this "What the F*@# Is Scientology" Journey - they DO understand that it is BIG for me and have all been very supportive and non judgmental and full of love - really the world is full of lovely folk - not what you are led to believe on the "inside".

Thanks everyone on the board for all your honest contributions - you did make a difference and to Emma of course for making this all possible - now everyone stand up and clap and give 3 cheers !!! ( only joking ! - I certainly won't miss those cheesey 3 hour long Int Mgt events - did anyone like them ? and the painfully predictable reg cycles after ! )

A very warm welcome Mrs Pattycake! :flowers:

What a terrific first post.

It is fantastic to hear you have supportive loving friends. I agree that the world is full of loving people & not that bunch of ignorant, dramatising idiots I was so heavily indoctrinated to believe.

Anyway just terrific to have you here on ESMB. :)
 

Neo

Silver Meritorious Patron
And yes I did sort of follow these classic steps out of Scientology - I think the clanger was when I kept rolling it back & pulling the string and come out with the "LRH" Sherman Tank !

Then everything falls into place and you wonder why you couldn't see it all along.

Welcome, Mrs Pattycake, from a fellow dilettante.

Great post, and I found the above very similar. Why didn't I see it :duh:

:)
 
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