Stages of Leaving Scientology

[Pixie]

Welcome Mrs Pattycake!! That was a great first post!! Yes, the world really is filled with beautiful honest and sincere people, and thank god I have finally realized this too! Can't wait to read more of your posts and I'm glad you are here on ESMB!!

 

[Wisened One]

to ESMB, Mrs. Pattycake! And a great first post about your realizations upon seeing Co$ for what it really is!

Look forward to more of your postings

Edited to add: Btw, before I could post on this thread, I was taken to a 'I have read the terms' page.....

 

[Axiom142]

Hi everyone - Mrs Pattycake here.

You guys need to be congratulated - you have certainly managed to change my fixed dedicated glare back into wandering doubt and beyond !

Yes - I've regained my open mindedness (which I always thought was a positive attribute until I was introduced to KSW 1)... and I'm ready to go off and chase some butterflies or stop and enjoy the lovely rocks for a while - all long deserved after two decades of devoting every spare minute to "going up the Bridge".

No longer is it an overt to watch a movie or read a non LRH book - because I no longer care about getting through the Basics, listening to the Congresses, being on lines in the Org, helping on OT committee, fundraising for the ideal Org , FSMing my friends for their next service or generally being at the beck and call of "The Church" .

This website sure has helped - reading others stories, helped confirm my own opinions and made me laugh about some of the crazy stuff along the way - which at times was just what I needed.

Nearly everything in Scientology is way too serious - whilst masquerading as the greatest game with able OT's and this great "spirit of play" - what a load of crap. Like so many have found out ...if you step over the line you're dead ! If you even dare to look over the line, you're as good as dead - and taken out by your own team ! No wonder I did not dare for so long !

Lots of things led me to the decision to be an ex-Scientologist - too many to tell now - its been an interesting journey for me - I hope to be able to tell you more soon.

And yes I did sort of follow these classic steps out of Scientology - I think the clanger was when I kept rolling it back & pulling the string and come out with the "LRH" Sherman Tank !

Then everything falls into place and you wonder why you couldn't see it all along. At least reading some stories here on the board helped me to understand that the tech was not discovered by LRH "alone" and that some pretty wonderful, dedicated folk helped to put some of the tech together (and they were really trying to help people) - no wonder some results are achievable - well at least that is how it seems to me now.

Lucky for me I also have a lot of really great non-Scio friends who, whilst they do not have the full concept of what I am going through on this "What the F*@# Is Scientology" Journey - they DO understand that it is BIG for me and have all been very supportive and non judgmental and full of love - really the world is full of lovely folk - not what you are led to believe on the "inside".

Thanks everyone on the board for all your honest contributions - you did make a difference and to Emma of course for making this all possible - now everyone stand up and clap and give 3 cheers !!! ( only joking ! - I certainly won't miss those cheesey 3 hour long Int Mgt events - did anyone like them ? and the painfully predictable reg cycles after ! )

and

A belated, but warm welcome Mrs Pattycake. I love your nick, wish I had thought of that one!

I really look forward to reading your story. After 2 devoted decades, you should have lots to tell.

Axiom142

 

[Good twin]

and

A belated, but warm welcome Mrs Pattycake. I love your nick, wish I had thought of that one!

I really look forward to reading your story. After 2 devoted decades, you should have lots to tell.

Axiom142

Ax, if you used "Mrs Pattycake", EVERYONE would think you are a girl!!

 

[Pixie]

Ax, if you used "Mrs Pattycake", EVERYONE would think you are a girl!!

I am at this point now convinced that Axiom142 is neither a boy nor a girl!! Now I'm even more confused that I ever was!!

 

[Axiom142]

I am at this point now convinced that Axiom142 is neither a boy nor a girl!! Now I'm even more confused that I ever was!!

Why neither? Why not both?

Haven't you heard of ladyboys?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladyboy

Axiom142

 

[Mary]

Hi everyone - Mrs Pattycake here.

You guys need to be congratulated - you have certainly managed to change my fixed dedicated glare back into wandering doubt and beyond !

Yes - I've regained my open mindedness (which I always thought was a positive attribute until I was introduced to KSW 1)... and I'm ready to go off and chase some butterflies or stop and enjoy the lovely rocks for a while - all long deserved after two decades of devoting every spare minute to "going up the Bridge".

No longer is it an overt to watch a movie or read a non LRH book - because I no longer care about getting through the Basics, listening to the Congresses, being on lines in the Org, helping on OT committee, fundraising for the ideal Org , FSMing my friends for their next service or generally being at the beck and call of "The Church" .

This website sure has helped - reading others stories, helped confirm my own opinions and made me laugh about some of the crazy stuff along the way - which at times was just what I needed.

Nearly everything in Scientology is way too serious - whilst masquerading as the greatest game with able OT's and this great "spirit of play" - what a load of crap. Like so many have found out ...if you step over the line you're dead ! If you even dare to look over the line, you're as good as dead - and taken out by your own team ! No wonder I did not dare for so long !

Lots of things led me to the decision to be an ex-Scientologist - too many to tell now - its been an interesting journey for me - I hope to be able to tell you more soon.

And yes I did sort of follow these classic steps out of Scientology - I think the clanger was when I kept rolling it back & pulling the string and come out with the "LRH" Sherman Tank !

Then everything falls into place and you wonder why you couldn't see it all along. At least reading some stories here on the board helped me to understand that the tech was not discovered by LRH "alone" and that some pretty wonderful, dedicated folk helped to put some of the tech together (and they were really trying to help people) - no wonder some results are achievable - well at least that is how it seems to me now.

Lucky for me I also have a lot of really great non-Scio friends who, whilst they do not have the full concept of what I am going through on this "What the F*@# Is Scientology" Journey - they DO understand that it is BIG for me and have all been very supportive and non judgmental and full of love - really the world is full of lovely folk - not what you are led to believe on the "inside".

Thanks everyone on the board for all your honest contributions - you did make a difference and to Emma of course for making this all possible - now everyone stand up and clap and give 3 cheers !!! ( only joking ! - I certainly won't miss those cheesey 3 hour long Int Mgt events - did anyone like them ? and the painfully predictable reg cycles after ! )

Just seen your post. Wonderful to hear from you and hope to be reading more of your posts in future.

 

[Pixie]

Why neither? Why not both?

Haven't you heard of ladyboys?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladyboy

Axiom142

Well yes I was thinking that but I didn't want to push it..

 

[Axiom142]

Sorry everyone,

but I seemed to have derailed this thread somewhat. Please, someone stop me when I do that.

I guess that I want so much to laugh at Scientology and myself – it takes away some of the pain. I will try and be more sensible when it is appropriate and confine my own weird humour to the correct places.

This thread rings so very true for me, all the stages that I went through before I realised that I could no longer carry on living a lie.

Thanks to Free to Shine for starting it and everyone else for expanding on it. I especially liked Ladybird’s post. It really indicated (see, I still can’t get it all out of my system) to me.

With regard to this quote: “Dr. Shannon asked: "What better con game than one in which most of the players don't know what they are really doing?”"

I would modify this to:

What better con game than one in which the victims run the game for you?

Anyway, it’s good to know that I wasn’t alone in what I went through.

Axiom142

 

[byte301]

Hi Mrs. Pattycake,

Welcome! Isn't it nice to be an SP?!!!??

 

[Terril park]

Hi everyone - Mrs Pattycake here.

You guys need to be congratulated - you have certainly managed to change my fixed dedicated glare back into wandering doubt and beyond !

Yes - I've regained my open mindedness (which I always thought was a positive attribute until I was introduced to KSW 1)... and I'm ready to go off and chase some butterflies or stop and enjoy the lovely rocks for a while - all long deserved after two decades of devoting every spare minute to "going up the Bridge".

Hmmph!

You need word clearing. Its totally OK to have a fixed dedicated glare with regard to being an entomologist and a geologist. They earn big bucks after all. !!!!

Panty waist dilletantes are the new black.

 

[ThisIsIt]

Thank you Mrs Pattycake!

Your post has inspired me to finally post. After lurking for a few months, ThisIsIt has decide that THIS IS IT.

I have wanted to post many times, but kept feeling like I should tell my story, which is long (35yrs), probably boring to many and potentially damaging to someone I care about. I just realized I am missing the fun of posting, and should post anyway. The story can come out as things evolve which I know they will. When I read your post, I decided the story can wait...post now anyway!

What I will post, is like you Mrs P, I so enjoy my life now. I am very fortunate to have mostly non SCN friends who for some reason a long the way I never gave up. I also have several kids (highly SCN trained in a few cases) who have woken up as well. The recovery process has been fairly easy, but I still have moments every day that range from relief to amazement. I cannot believe how dark my life was during all those years, and I was convinced it would be darker "outside". Well it is bright now!

I started looking on the internet about 6 years ago, and we all know where that leads. Actually, my first light bulb went on at an event over 10 years ago when I was at an event and thought to myself when DM was talking,
"Who is this guy? and how did he get there." Amazing how long it took me to
stop withholding that.

Well, the outward flow of stuff in my head has started now. Very grateful to all of you are here, and thank you again Mrs P for knocking on my door just a bit today.


ThisIsIt

 

[Neo]

Welcome, ThisIsIt

thanks for your post, I for one am very interested to hear what you have to say - but don't feel rushed. There are no 2pm deadlines here, LOL.

Looking forward to reading your story

Neo

 

[byte301]

Wowzer! Incoming peeps! Incoming peeps! Welcome to you too ThisIsIt!

No hurry about spilling your guts. We ain't (for the most part) going anywhere. We all love to hear all stories. Not one has been boring to me.
Yeah, that evil internet! It's done in more then one pc, hasn't it? Oh and a lotta of OT's too. hahaha Well, can't wait to hear more stories. We are a motley crew and have quite a good time in my opinion anyway.

 

[Free to shine]

Hmmph!

You need word clearing. Its totally OK to have a fixed dedicated glare with regard to being an entomologist and a geologist. They earn big bucks after all. !!!!

Panty waist dilletantes are the new black.

Is this meant to be a joke?
It's not though. Don't go telling new posters they need word clearing ha ha ha. Hmmmph!

 

[Pixie]

Your post has inspired me to finally post. After lurking for a few months, ThisIsIt has decide that THIS IS IT.

I have wanted to post many times, but kept feeling like I should tell my story, which is long (35yrs), probably boring to many and potentially damaging to someone I care about. I just realized I am missing the fun of posting, and should post anyway. The story can come out as things evolve which I know they will. When I read your post, I decided the story can wait...post now anyway!

What I will post, is like you Mrs P, I so enjoy my life now. I am very fortunate to have mostly non SCN friends who for some reason a long the way I never gave up. I also have several kids (highly SCN trained in a few cases) who have woken up as well. The recovery process has been fairly easy, but I still have moments every day that range from relief to amazement. I cannot believe how dark my life was during all those years, and I was convinced it would be darker "outside". Well it is bright now!

I started looking on the internet about 6 years ago, and we all know where that leads. Actually, my first light bulb went on at an event over 10 years ago when I was at an event and thought to myself when DM was talking,
"Who is this guy? and how did he get there." Amazing how long it took me to
stop withholding that.

Well, the outward flow of stuff in my head has started now. Very grateful to all of you are here, and thank you again Mrs P for knocking on my door just a bit today.


ThisIsIt

Wow ThisIsIt what a great first post!! You are so very welcome here to the forum and I look forward to more of your stories. Well done for turning on the lightbulb, it's not easy is it, but when it does yes, it's such a huge relief. Yes, and you're right, it is indeed lovely and bright out here!! Excellent!!

 

[ThisIsIt]

Thank you all for the nice welcome!

I can't believe it took me so long to open my mouth. Although I will admit that since I left the church I seem to know a lot less for "certain" and that keeps me quiet for longer periods of time...if ya know what I mean.



ThisIsIt

 

[Zinjifar]

Thank you all for the nice welcome!

I can't believe it took me so long to open my mouth. Although I will admit that since I left the church I seem to know a lot less for "certain" and that keeps me quiet for longer periods of time...if ya know what I mean.



ThisIsIt

'Certainty' spells chains.

Welcome to iffy

Zinj

 

[Axiom142]

Your post has inspired me to finally post. After lurking for a few months, ThisIsIt has decide that THIS IS IT.

I have wanted to post many times, but kept feeling like I should tell my story, which is long (35yrs), probably boring to many and potentially damaging to someone I care about. I just realized I am missing the fun of posting, and should post anyway. The story can come out as things evolve which I know they will. When I read your post, I decided the story can wait...post now anyway!

What I will post, is like you Mrs P, I so enjoy my life now. I am very fortunate to have mostly non SCN friends who for some reason a long the way I never gave up. I also have several kids (highly SCN trained in a few cases) who have woken up as well. The recovery process has been fairly easy, but I still have moments every day that range from relief to amazement. I cannot believe how dark my life was during all those years, and I was convinced it would be darker "outside". Well it is bright now!

I started looking on the internet about 6 years ago, and we all know where that leads. Actually, my first light bulb went on at an event over 10 years ago when I was at an event and thought to myself when DM was talking,
"Who is this guy? and how did he get there." Amazing how long it took me to
stop withholding that.

Well, the outward flow of stuff in my head has started now. Very grateful to all of you are here, and thank you again Mrs P for knocking on my door just a bit today.


ThisIsIt

Awesome ThisIsIt!

Well done on taking the first steps to regaining your life!

I look forward to hearing your story. After 35 years, I'm sure that you have lots to tell. And remember, just by telling the truth, you may inspire others to do what they know is right.

Axiom142

 

[Pixie]

Thank you all for the nice welcome!

I can't believe it took me so long to open my mouth. Although I will admit that since I left the church I seem to know a lot less for "certain" and that keeps me quiet for longer periods of time...if ya know what I mean.



ThisIsIt

Yes I can understand this, when you find out it was a con, it's like there's a part of you that just doesn't trust yourself anymore so it's easier just to keep your mouth shut. I'm sure this is normal considering that we've been lied to for so long, it's difficult to admit to oneself that they have been tricked never mind go about publicising it, but being on this forum helps to no end and you'll enjoy it here. We have a laugh too, we're allowed to have emotions and the smilies are great aren't they? I use them when I can't find the words..