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Suppressed Memories

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Hi tamasin

Just wanted to say have finally finished your story so far, having been invited to. Thankyou so much for allowing me in :) I still cant get my head around the whole thing, never having been part of the gross injustice life threw at you, but i know you are strong enough inside as a person to deal whatever the future holds, and i send all my love and hugs ::) Fred says Hi ! might give you a clue as to who this is haha.

Thanks again

Love n Hugs

Cuba :coolwink:

Welcome, Cuba!
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
Delighted to see you Cuba,

Certainly was a very Wild trip.One i would never want to repeat.
Still trying to piece all the facts of my Dad together,thats proving quite difficult.
But i dare say perseverance will pay off eventually.

Lots of love to you and Fred

Tamasin:D
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
> Suppressed Memories

Just remembered something that happened at Abellund.

The farmer that owned Abellund was a nice old man, used to smile a lot but couldn't speak a word of English.One day he gestured that he wanted to show me something. I went over to this shed and inside was this dead sheep,completely skinned.At the time i had never seen a whole dead animal as big as that before and i thought why would he show me this.

Usually he would take me to look at the newly hatched chicks or a horse they had.

I was quite bewildered and didn't fully realise until several days later when an angry farmer and Jill van Staden showed me this sheep again with maggots pouring out of it.It was really disgusting. I was supposed to tell the cook the meat was for the staff,but due to the language barrier i had not understood.
Fortunately for me i did not get into trouble but my friendship with the farmer was never the same after that,shame really because he was a nice man.
Tamasin
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
One day a boy i knew came into the messengers office with a news paper,he told me to read it as it was about my family.He guarded the doorway while i read it,telling me 'don't let anyone see you'.The report was all about LRH and Scientology in England,the ship was mentioned also.To my amazement there was abit about my grandmother also,complaining about how Scientology had taken a hold of her children and one of them had disconnected from her.Also how she didn't know where her son and grand daughter were.I remember whispering"i'm here nana".Reading that paper was quite a shock and i knew that what i had been thinking for some time was right,i had to get off this ship.


Iv'e known for some time i made a mistake here,but i can't seem to edit it and i want it made known i made a mistake.

Also how she didn't know where her son and grand daughter were.I remember whispering"i'm here nana".

There was no mention of myself in the newspaper. I did not whisper "i'm here nana" it was "What about me Nana?". I was convinced i had been totally forgotten about.


The one and only time i was in L. Ron Hubbards cabin/bedroom. I don't remember the exact circumstances of me being there,but i was there with another messenger and LRH was ill in bed,the other messenger went off to get help and i was left with LRH who was asleep.I waited for some time and noticed the surroundings of the cabin.It didn't exactly sink in at the time but there were empty bottles by the bed and on the far side of the room was an open suitcase with more money in it than i have ever seen in my life.When i say it didn't sink in , i mean by the empty bottles.Help finally came and us messengers were dismissed.I'm pretty sure who the help was but not prepared to say,as i may be mistaken.LRH was ill for a couple of days and us messengers were told not to talk about it.

Prompted by something i read by someone i have a lot of respect for.

This isn't part of my story as such but it happened at the time i was on the ship.This person and an Officer used to go around the orgs in Europe and collect money,suitcases of money and then it would be taken through customs and taken aboard the Apollo.I was incredulous as to how so much money could be got through customs,apparently there is always someone who can be bribed.I was amazed that this person would do such a thing but like a lot of things in Scientology,it was done in the name of "saving mankind".What wasn't realised was all this money went into the pockets of one man, L Ron Hubbard,affectionately known as the "old man",whilst his minions literally struggled to keep their heads above water.
 

Wisened One

Crusader
*whispers in increduous tone* Wow! :omg: :no:

And as to what was wrong with LRH...he must've drunk himself to illness that day....and seeing ALL that money in his room among the empty bottles....:no: :puke:

One day a boy i knew came into the messengers office with a news paper,he told me to read it as it was about my family.He guarded the doorway while i read it,telling me 'don't let anyone see you'.The report was all about LRH and Scientology in England,the ship was mentioned also.To my amazement there was abit about my grandmother also,complaining about how Scientology had taken a hold of her children and one of them had disconnected from her.Also how she didn't know where her son and grand daughter were.I remember whispering"i'm here nana".Reading that paper was quite a shock and i knew that what i had been thinking for some time was right,i had to get off this ship.


Iv'e known for some time i made a mistake here,but i can't seem to edit it and i want it made known i made a mistake.

Also how she didn't know where her son and grand daughter were.I remember whispering"i'm here nana".

There was no mention of myself in the newspaper. I did not whisper "i'm here nana" it was "What about me Nana?". I was convinced i had been totally forgotten about.


The one and only time i was in L. Ron Hubbards cabin/bedroom. I don't remember the exact circumstances of me being there,but i was there with another messenger and LRH was ill in bed,the other messenger went off to get help and i was left with LRH who was asleep.I waited for some time and noticed the surroundings of the cabin.It didn't exactly sink in at the time but there were empty bottles by the bed and on the far side of the room was an open suitcase with more money in it than i have ever seen in my life.When i say it didn't sink in , i mean by the empty bottles.Help finally came and us messengers were dismissed.I'm pretty sure who the help was but not prepared to say,as i may be mistaken.LRH was ill for a couple of days and us messengers were told not to talk about it.

Prompted by something i read by someone i have a lot of respect for.

This isn't part of my story as such but it happened at the time i was on the ship.This person and an Officer used to go around the orgs in Europe and collect money,suitcases of money and then it would be taken through customs and taken aboard the Apollo.I was incredulous as to how so much money could be got through customs,apparently there is always someone who can be bribed.I was amazed that this person would do such a thing but like a lot of things in Scientology,it was done in the name of "saving mankind".What wasn't realised was all this money went into the pockets of one man, L Ron Hubbard,affectionately known as the "old man",whilst his minions literally struggled to keep their heads above water.
 

quietheart

Patron Meritorious
Thank you for sharing your story Tamasin, I may not have been "in" but I do understand a lot of what you went through. I'm really glad you and your Dad are back in touch and developing a relationship. I wish you the best of luck in finding the rest of your family and in life in general.
*hugs*
Angl
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thank you for reading anonangl,
I came here looking for your story and i see you were not "in" $cientology."In" or out of $cientology NO one has the right to hurt children either physically or mentally.

What i'm most disgusted by is $cientologys stance on how supposedly 'they value family life'. Its utter rubbish.

I'll be thinking of you at the next protest.
Tamasin
 

quietheart

Patron Meritorious
Thanks Tamasin, I keep all of you in mind at every protest I go to also. I agree, NOBODY has any right to treat children like garbage, which is exactly what they are doing when they abuse them. So far I haven't seen CoS do anything but give lip service to the concept of family values, it seems like they do all the can to tear families apart from day one, especially in the sea org. I need to go for now, kids needs baths, etc.
Catch y'all laters,
Angl
 

Pliny Younger

Patron with Honors
:)

tamasin-sp

THAT was the most moving story I've read. You are an inspiration! I hope that you get the answers to all your wants in life.
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
THAT was the most moving story I've read.

Thank you Pliny Younger.

At some point i will add some more, but am struggling to get my act together at the moment.:)
May i suggest you read more then,as i have read far more moving stories,sadly there are so many of them.

Rock on Anonymous!:protest:

Tamasin:)
 

FinallyMe

Silver Meritorious Patron
Smoking and Chantix

Tamasin, I just wanted to put my two cents' worth in regarding smoking -- not knowing whether you have tried and/or accomplished quitting. It is my deeply felt belief that smoking does indeed serve a purpose in a person's life and that person will be able to quit once they can deal with whatever needs dealing with, and not before -- whether you deal with it by handling something, or by finding another crutch, or whatever. I smoked for 43 years, never once trying to quit because I NEEDED those cigarettes and also needed to support and raise my family, so I couldn't be going through withdrawals and wanting a cigarette. Then one day just over a year ago, out of the blue someone told me how Chantix works, and that it worked for her. The idea of a pill shutting off the nicotine receptors in your brain made sense to me -- I always said when they find something that will make me NOT WANT a cigarette, I'll quit. Huge wonderful surprise, after 43 years, I just quit! Never actually made the decision to quit -- I was just going to try this pill and see whether I still wanted a cigarette. I've been smoke free for more than a year now and it's wonderful. But I must also add that I was ready to quit -- I've made enough gains against my "issues" that I was able to give up my crutch -- so when you're ready, I would encourage you to check into Chantix and see if that method could help you. Anyway, my goodness, you are such a STRONG PERSON to have come through all of that and you're STILL moving along -- I know you'll accomplish whatever you set out to do in your life - whether it involves quitting smoking or not. Lot's of hugs & warm fuzzies to you!


Patte Monaco
 

sallydannce

Gold Meritorious Patron
Wow tamasin-sp. Just wow! I have finally read this entire thread. I'm stunned yet not surprised.

By telling your story in this powerful way, you have done so much good for the world. :yes:

Many points along the way of reading your story, I had to stop and gather myself up. How could this have happened? (not in a doubting you kind of way but in a ""this is surreal" kind of way) Something you wrote about Hubbard saying to you that you should focus on the good for the group and not your family just answered so many questions.

It was all about him & his grandiose sense of himself. Not about any of the PR reasons that were spun, & are still spun (making the world a better place) - it was all designed by him for his own sick perverse kicks. I've come to the conclusion that Hubbard didn't care who he destroyed, what lives he reduced to rubble, so long as he got his own way. With his "charm", with his intelligence, he bull-dozed his way through life and didn't give a shit about the consequences.

tamasin-sp, I can not even begin to know what you have been through and continue to go through. I send you my warmest love. :bighug: :heartflower:
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Sallydannce wrote:

I've come to the conclusion that Hubbard didn't care who he destroyed, what lives he reduced to rubble, so long as he got his own way. With his "charm", with his intelligence, he bull-dozed his way through life and didn't give a shit about the consequences.

I think there is plenty of well-documented evidence that supports your conclusion.
 

Pixie

Crusader
It is stories like this where a child is being abused in the cult that makes me think we should be doing a lot more to disrupt their operations.

I completely agree with you.100%.

Tamasin

I've just finished catching up on your stories Tamasin, there are some stories I read that just cut through my heart and I just can't find any words to reply, and yours was one of them. :bigcry: One sometimes thinks they've read and heard it all. ... and then bang, another shocker. I am rendered speechless, I can only hope and pray that everything turns out exactly the way you want it, I am sending you my love now as we speak and I hope that you find so much happiness that the hurt of the past fades away.
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
News of the World 4/5/1969

This is from the News of the World 4/5/1969.

Bid to Muzzle us Fails

An attempt by a section of the Scientologists to muzzle the News of the World has failed.Last week, more than three years after issuing a writ against us for alleged libel concerning its"Mind Cult," the Hubbard Association of Scientologists dropped the action.

They are to pay a considerable sum to cover the legal costs we incurred in preparing to defend the action.

The Scientologists (can't make out the next line,very old newspaper)their action was heard before Master Bickford Smith in chambers.He approved the application on condition:
1 --That no further action is brought by them on the same ground.
2--That they pay all costs.

Only the previous week the plaintiffs had gone to the Court of Appeal to say that a witness was unavailable and to ask for the libel case, which was then imminent, to be post- phoned.

The court granted a delay of not more than a week- and warned that further such applications by the Mind Cult would not be received sympathetically.

Robert Warren writes:
The dispute was over an article which appeared in the paper in January 1966.It was the first to mention the way in which Scientology, then a little known but rapidly growing fringe group, tended to break up family life.

Following that story and subsequent public outcry, the cult has now stopped the process of "disconnection"- the way in which followers were told to write to the friends and families saying they would have nothing more to do with them unless they took up Scientology.

I wrote the article after speaking to such a family.And a very distressing story it was.

Mrs. ---- Stainforth had received a letter from ------,her 18year old daughter who had become a Scientologist and gone to work as a clerk at St. Hill Manor, near East. Grinstead, Sussex.( I have omitted my Aunts name)

The letter said "This is to inform you that unless you get some training and processing I will disconnect from you as I feel that you are invalidative of me and Scientology."

"I am willing to help you in any way if you want, but until then i am not going to communicate with you or except any communications from you."
"I am doing this of my own free will and for my own betterment. Love ------"

Mrs. Stainforth was shocked. So was her elder daughter -------, who also received a similar letter.They did not feel that ------- was likely to write that sort of letter of her own free will. They suspected that she had been urged to write them by somebody at Saint Hill Manor. So they brought them to us.

I went to St. Hill Manor. And there I saw copies of similar letters pinned on an office notice board. The originals had been sent to relatives and friends of Scientologists all over the world.Since then I have discovered many cases of families split by "disconnection".

But the Scientologists and Lafayette Ron Hubbard, their rich American founder, refused to discuss it with me. So did ------ and her brother,-------- who had also become Scientologists.

Complaint
We headlined our story: "Lets hear from you Mr. Hubbard."
Indirectly, we did.
His solicitors wrote to complain about the article. They gave us seven days to apologise for what we had said and pay damages and costs.We refused.

Eight months later we received a writ from the Hubbard Association of Scientologists International. Within weeks we were ready to defend this action in the High Court. But it was to be three years before the case was withdrawn.

Twice we applied for the action to be struck off for want of prosecution. Each time the Hubbard Association said they intended to proceed.
Finally, it was intended to be heard last month. At the last moment the plaintiffs said they could not get hold of their witnesses and asked for an adjournment.

Mr. Justice Paull called their application ridiculous.

The Scientologists said their main witness,Michael Stainforth was in a ship and they did not know where it was.The Judge suggested they use wireless to find him and refused their application.

The Scientologists took their plea to the Court of Appeal, where three Lord Justices granted a deferment of up to a week and warned that "any further application will certainly ."not be received with any sympathy. They said the Scientologists had been "dragging their feet."

The next day the Hubbard Association's legal representatives contacted ours and said they wanted to withdraw the action.

This they did last week before a Master in chambers.

When ------ Stainforth wrote her letters, Scientology was little known in Britain. It had been the subject of a Government inquiry in Victoria, Australia and then banned in that state.

Their were vehement criticisms of the cult in the Australian report, a document which should be read by anyone attracted to Scientology. At the time the report was published, Hubbard was still calling himself "Doctor" and claiming to be a disillusioned nuclear physicist, an explorer, a botanist, an inventor-- and one one of those very rare people who have visited Venus.

Renounced
Since then he has left this country-he did so soon after our article appeared- and has been told by the Home Office not to return.

Hubbard has also been banned from Australia,Rhodesia and Greece.

He has renounced his title of "Doctor"--though no one knows where he got it from in the first place--and taken his movement to sea in a fleet of ships. The largest, Apollo was last reported heading for Northern Europe after being ordered out of Corfu by the Greek Government.

Hubbard's movement has been described in the House of Commons as "socially harmful." its methods "A serious danger to to the health of those who submit to them."

And Hubbard's response has been an almost hysterical attack on orthodox medicine and psychiatry. At the same time he issues statements saying he no longer has any control over the cult.Now Scientologys income in Britain has dropped.Much of it depended on foreign money, particularly from America.

Last summer the Home Office stopped people coming into the country to study Scientology and this weakened the British organisation.

But Lafayette Ron Hubbard is not beaten yet. He has an enormous International organisation.Every detail is regulated by written orders.The members are intensely loyal and discipline is strict.Defaulters are punished, sometimes severely. Their loyalty is rewarded.

Hubbard has come a long way from the days before he published his original hotch - potch of a thesis-- Dianetics, the Modern Science of Mental Health.I have traced his brain child back to its source--in Pasadena, California.

Those were the days, shortly after the war, when Hubbard, poor and just out from a psychiatric ward in a US Navy hospital, lived in a van in the garden of a house in Orange Grove Avenue.

There he wrote and re- wrote Dianetics. His previous writing had been Science fiction, but Dianetics was published as a serious work.

Attack
And in craze-prone America of the early 1950s, his theories became popular.It was on this unsteady base that he built his international Scientology empire.And its success, as Mr. Kenneth Robinson, the former Minister of Health, said in the Commons last year, was based on the policy of directing itself "deliberately towards the weak, the unbalanced, the immature, the rootless and mentally and emotionally unstable."

Another attack was made by Mr.Peter Horden, the conservative MP for Horsham,who said "The public has been hampered in its Knowledge of Scientology by the fact that as far as I can establish, on every occasion that the organisation has been named by a newspaper, the newspaper has been served with a writ for libel."
The News of the World agrees with these statements.
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
Sallydance,Finally me,Parodox,Pixie and Alanzo,
Thank you for your kindness, warmth and support.

Pliny Younger

Was this the article you mention reading on the ship?


It was indeed.

You can imagine, I was not quite 12 years old, my Dad had been gone for almost 6 months-no contact,I still wasn't sure if I would get off the ship even though it had been agreed I could join my Dad when it was conveniant.

Heavy Ethics was being enforced on the ship, one day someone was on post,the next they had gone - with the explanation they had been really bad.
Shortly after reading this news paper story, I over heard MSH saying how someone "had to be shut up by any means" because they were causing a big Flap for Scientology.I didn't know who and was worried it was my Dad.It certainly was my Grandmother.

I had already had a dose of heavy Ethics. There was nobody to talk to about it,for fear of more heavy ethics.All the while watching the "most ethical people on the planet" being treated worse than the cattle that had previously been on board and which the ship had originally been intended. We were just "meat bodies". We were going to take over the world. WTF?I might have only been 11 years old but seriously, WTF?

Shortly after this I found the Ethics chit asking permission to have me "over boarded".I had tried so hard not to show any emotion,to not be effect of my circumstances. I had obviously done a bad job, hence the ethics chit. I was just a "meat body", an elite meat body,but non the less just meat.By then my mind was in such chaos that if I hadn't been so scared of been "over boarded", it might have actually been a relief, in my my mind I had already drowned.

Against all the odds,some little spark of "this is totally crazy,sheer utter madness, you must survive." And I did.:happydance:

I am going to be off lines for a bit,have some family stuff to deal with.Hopefully, will come back with a re- newed vigour.So easy to loose the spark when dealing with what Scientology does to children, and adults for that matter.
Tamasin
 

Pliny Younger

Patron with Honors
tamasin-sp,

I had made the decision to no longer be involved with scn when my first child was about to be born. I asked myself, do I want my child to be exposed to this? Of course, I didn't have the awareness of what could have been to the degree of your experience. What you experienced was BS for an adult, let alone a child.

Again, thank you for your story.

Good luck with your family stuff.
 
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