quietheart
Patron Meritorious
Good luck with the family stuff, tc of yourself tamasin and see you soon.
*hugs*
Angl
*hugs*
Angl
Suppressed Memories
- Thread starter Sharone Stainforth
- Start date
Sharone Stainforth
Silver Meritorious Patron
Thanks PY and Angl,
Mixed emotions.See you soon.
Mixed emotions.See you soon.
Sharone Stainforth
Silver Meritorious Patron
The Chain Locker
When i first saw the little girl in the chain locker i thought she must have fallen in there.I wished for her sake that had been the case
I don't remember what was said between the officers,but it dawned on me she hadn't fallen at all. She was still in there and no one was doing anything to get her out.Her whole little body was heaving with all the sobbing,she had been crying for a long time.
I couldn't believe it, i couldn't, didn't understand why any one would do such a thing.We were constantly being told how this was the sanest place on earth, it was mad.I felt what i was seeing had to be illegal, surely there was a law against it, but no one was doing anything about it.It seemed to me all these people seemed to think this was perfectly normal, an everyday occurrence. It was not normal,it was total madness.
To this day i cannot comprehend how that was allowed to happen, with all those adults on board and no one did a damn thing to stop it.It was a very scary place to be on that ship, especially if you were a little kid.
When i first saw the little girl in the chain locker i thought she must have fallen in there.I wished for her sake that had been the case
I don't remember what was said between the officers,but it dawned on me she hadn't fallen at all. She was still in there and no one was doing anything to get her out.Her whole little body was heaving with all the sobbing,she had been crying for a long time.
I couldn't believe it, i couldn't, didn't understand why any one would do such a thing.We were constantly being told how this was the sanest place on earth, it was mad.I felt what i was seeing had to be illegal, surely there was a law against it, but no one was doing anything about it.It seemed to me all these people seemed to think this was perfectly normal, an everyday occurrence. It was not normal,it was total madness.
To this day i cannot comprehend how that was allowed to happen, with all those adults on board and no one did a damn thing to stop it.It was a very scary place to be on that ship, especially if you were a little kid.
quietheart
Patron Meritorious
Even in the "wog" world this kind of stuff happens way too often
. people see things that should be reported and no one does anything!!!
Angl
. people see things that should be reported and no one does anything!!! Angl
Sharone Stainforth
Silver Meritorious Patron
"You're just a "meat"body".
Thats what he said to me, whilst i was working on the deck on the ship.
"nothing but meat", he said it in a nasty tone of voice and it really upset me.
Visions of whole pigs hanging on meat hooks, minus their heads which were displayed on the the counter,usually with an apple stuffed in their mouths in the butchers shop at home came to mind. It was a horrible thought.One i couldn't shake.
I asked my Dad about it, and he assured me i was more than just meat, that was just my body.The spirit inside of me was the real me, the person i was.
I heard many more times how our bodies were just "meat" it is something i found repugnant and still do to this day.IMO this is a dreadful thing to teach a child.
When we start referring to people as just "meat" bodies, i don't think there is any hope for mankind.
Thats what he said to me, whilst i was working on the deck on the ship.
"nothing but meat", he said it in a nasty tone of voice and it really upset me.
Visions of whole pigs hanging on meat hooks, minus their heads which were displayed on the the counter,usually with an apple stuffed in their mouths in the butchers shop at home came to mind. It was a horrible thought.One i couldn't shake.
I asked my Dad about it, and he assured me i was more than just meat, that was just my body.The spirit inside of me was the real me, the person i was.
I heard many more times how our bodies were just "meat" it is something i found repugnant and still do to this day.IMO this is a dreadful thing to teach a child.
When we start referring to people as just "meat" bodies, i don't think there is any hope for mankind.
Pixie
Crusader
I just cannot cannot imagine what that must have been like to witness Tamasin, what utter horror. How was that child expected to grow up sane having had that sort of torture and abuse inflicted on her. This is the stuff of nightmares, this story too needs to get into the media somehow, how disgusting.
And you too have to carry that horrific memory with you too. Yes, it was totally madness, total madness gone insane! No one in their right mind could ever comprehend how that was allowed to happen, but it prooves how deep the brainwashing and cultic indoctrination was. You are very very brave to have survived any of what you went through and you have my utter admiration. 
Sharone Stainforth
Silver Meritorious Patron
sallydannce
Gold Meritorious Patron
quietheart
Patron Meritorious
When I read this I could actually "see" someone doing that, it's so disgusting it makes me want to
I'm glad your Dad was able to help you feel better. I don't understand how someone could say something like that to a child. I agree that thinking is definitely trouble for mankind.Esther
gomorrhan
Gold Meritorious Patron
When I read this I could actually "see" someone doing that, it's so disgusting it makes me want to
Esther
Yep, not only is it degrading to matter, but it's also inaccurate. Our bodies are the most sophisticated machinery we've ever seen. Referring to them as "meat" is like referring to a Mac G4 as a calculator. Not to mention the argument about whether or not there is anything OTHER than the body there. I have no problem facing the truth, if the truth is that my body is the source of my consciousness. It doesn't matter to me where the consciousness comes from. Only that it not be encumbered with overwhelming stressors.
Mark A. Baker
Sponsor
Hate to disappoint you Kevin with regard to your love interest but the G4 IS a calculator. That is all that a finite state computing engine is. Some of the algebra used is a bit unfamiliar to most people and some of the "results" may not strike you as especially "symbolic", but it is all still essentially algebra.
Mark A. Baker
gomorrhan
Gold Meritorious Patron
Yes, but the G4 is not nearly as complicated or universal as a computing machine as the body is, nor is the body's only function computation, but obviously as a chemical engine, a sexual replication machine, and apparently, a reflexive ability to assume viewpoints, including it's "own".
Sharone Stainforth
Silver Meritorious Patron
Iv’e been struggling with a memory for the best part of a year and I all I could get was that I was sat cross legged on the tiniest little platform that was the crows nest on the Apollo. I was absolutely terrified. I couldn’t move , if I had I would have plunged to my death. I tried to stop from sobbing and just let little tears fall down my face, don’t show emotion, it’s not allowed, you are a degraded being.
Over the year little bits have fallen into place but there was something missing and I could not find the missing piece, I kept returning to 1968/9 and knew there was something vital I should remember, try as I might I just couldn’t remember. Last night that piece came from no where and I realized it wasn’t so much as I couldn’t remember but that I didn’t want to remember.
I was below decks and my cabin mate and fellow messenger had come down to get me as there was something going on, on the main deck and the entire crew had to be there. I asked what was going on and she said something about someone having to push a peanut around the decks with their nose. I looked at her incredulously and said “You have to be kidding” she said she wasn’t sure but that’s what she’d heard. Whilst following her up to the deck we were chatting and laughing about it as lets face it even LRH wouldn’t do something like that would he? We couldn’t believe it, it was so absurd.. We were still chatting and laughing as we came up the steps onto the deck and sure enough the entire ships company was there.
We had to edge our way forward through the throng of people in order to see, neither of us had realised how serious this was. Finally we got to the front and took our places and was astonished to see this was correct and after all my chatter and laughing I was stunned into silence as the man got up and he looked straight at me , his face was covered in blood, it was awful. I didn’t know where to look and diverted my eyes to the ground, I couldn’t look at him, it was so horrible.
After this dreadful debacle was over LRH called me forward to the front, in front of him. He was shouting at me, I can’t remember what he said but I was ordered up into the crows nest, as I turned around to comply the entire crew of the ship facing me, looking at me as if I was the most evil person on earth. I have never felt so ashamed. I was not laughing at this man though, good lord, I never would of thought it was real, I should have known better. There appeared to be nothing that LRH would not do to degrade people and all his followers stood by and let him. There was nothing anyone could do to stop him.
I vaguely remember climbing to the top of the lookout post in the crows nest, I was so scared, I’d tried to climb it once before as a dare and only got about a third of the way up as I was afraid of heights. This time there was no option, I had to go to the top. I was told not to look down, just keep your eye on the horizon, at one point I thought I was going to collapse, if ever there was an out of body experience that was it. I was completely numb, I could no longer feel, think or reason, I ceased to exist. The whole world just became a vast blackness. I passed out, I don’t remember any more. When I came to I was lying on the deck, someone must have come up and brought me down, then I was picked up again and carried to my bunk where I slept for a long while. When I awoke all I kept thinking was God someone please help me and get me off this ship.
Over the year little bits have fallen into place but there was something missing and I could not find the missing piece, I kept returning to 1968/9 and knew there was something vital I should remember, try as I might I just couldn’t remember. Last night that piece came from no where and I realized it wasn’t so much as I couldn’t remember but that I didn’t want to remember.
I was below decks and my cabin mate and fellow messenger had come down to get me as there was something going on, on the main deck and the entire crew had to be there. I asked what was going on and she said something about someone having to push a peanut around the decks with their nose. I looked at her incredulously and said “You have to be kidding” she said she wasn’t sure but that’s what she’d heard. Whilst following her up to the deck we were chatting and laughing about it as lets face it even LRH wouldn’t do something like that would he? We couldn’t believe it, it was so absurd.. We were still chatting and laughing as we came up the steps onto the deck and sure enough the entire ships company was there.
We had to edge our way forward through the throng of people in order to see, neither of us had realised how serious this was. Finally we got to the front and took our places and was astonished to see this was correct and after all my chatter and laughing I was stunned into silence as the man got up and he looked straight at me , his face was covered in blood, it was awful. I didn’t know where to look and diverted my eyes to the ground, I couldn’t look at him, it was so horrible.
After this dreadful debacle was over LRH called me forward to the front, in front of him. He was shouting at me, I can’t remember what he said but I was ordered up into the crows nest, as I turned around to comply the entire crew of the ship facing me, looking at me as if I was the most evil person on earth. I have never felt so ashamed. I was not laughing at this man though, good lord, I never would of thought it was real, I should have known better. There appeared to be nothing that LRH would not do to degrade people and all his followers stood by and let him. There was nothing anyone could do to stop him.
I vaguely remember climbing to the top of the lookout post in the crows nest, I was so scared, I’d tried to climb it once before as a dare and only got about a third of the way up as I was afraid of heights. This time there was no option, I had to go to the top. I was told not to look down, just keep your eye on the horizon, at one point I thought I was going to collapse, if ever there was an out of body experience that was it. I was completely numb, I could no longer feel, think or reason, I ceased to exist. The whole world just became a vast blackness. I passed out, I don’t remember any more. When I came to I was lying on the deck, someone must have come up and brought me down, then I was picked up again and carried to my bunk where I slept for a long while. When I awoke all I kept thinking was God someone please help me and get me off this ship.
quietheart
Patron Meritorious
No wonder you couldn't remember, I wouldn't have wanted to remember that either 
.Es
Div6
Crusader
Its true:
David Mayo: http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/miller/interviews/mayo.htm
"He [L Ron Hubbard] could be capable of incredible cruelty. On the ship
there was an old man on the Royal Scotman who he made push a peanut
round the decks with his nose. He had to get down on his hands and
knees, he had to go round the deck, quite a long distance in a race with
one or two others also in trouble. The first one back got let off and
the last one got a double penalty. It was really tough on this old guy,
Charlie Reisdorf. The surface of the deck was very rough wood, prone to
splinter, so after pushing peanuts with their noses, they all had raw,
bleeding noses, leaving a trail of blood behind them. I not only saw it
but the entire crew of the ship was mustered - a mandatory attendance -
we were required to watch this punishment, to make an example of it for
the rest of us. Reisdorf was in his late 50s probably. His two daughters
were messengers, they were 11 or 12 at time and his wife was there also.
It was hard to say which was worse to watch: this old guy with a
bleeding nose or his wife and kids sobbing and crying at being forced to
watch this. Hubbard was standing there calling the shots, yelling,
"Faster, Faster!". It was indignity, degradation and breaking a person's
will, and making people watch. It was disgusting."
David Mayo: http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/miller/interviews/mayo.htm
"He [L Ron Hubbard] could be capable of incredible cruelty. On the ship
there was an old man on the Royal Scotman who he made push a peanut
round the decks with his nose. He had to get down on his hands and
knees, he had to go round the deck, quite a long distance in a race with
one or two others also in trouble. The first one back got let off and
the last one got a double penalty. It was really tough on this old guy,
Charlie Reisdorf. The surface of the deck was very rough wood, prone to
splinter, so after pushing peanuts with their noses, they all had raw,
bleeding noses, leaving a trail of blood behind them. I not only saw it
but the entire crew of the ship was mustered - a mandatory attendance -
we were required to watch this punishment, to make an example of it for
the rest of us. Reisdorf was in his late 50s probably. His two daughters
were messengers, they were 11 or 12 at time and his wife was there also.
It was hard to say which was worse to watch: this old guy with a
bleeding nose or his wife and kids sobbing and crying at being forced to
watch this. Hubbard was standing there calling the shots, yelling,
"Faster, Faster!". It was indignity, degradation and breaking a person's
will, and making people watch. It was disgusting."
ScudMuffin
Silver Meritorious Patron
That was seriously shocking. I have a fear of falling and that's just sent me giddy. How anyone could order a kid to do that is beyond me.
Div6
Crusader
LRH was C/S'ing all cases aboard at the time. He must have had a helluva a blind spot to miss on so many of those SP's. After all, he could even handle them, per his own utterances. But he snuck in inval and eval on the C\S lines, with comments like "out of valence in R6" and so on...essentially acted as 'the hidden third party".
Of course, he was the one who had blown from every country he had been in, and started a paramilitary organization to research "upper level" material "off the comm lines of the world", while denigrating anyone that ventured close enough to him to know "the truth".
After he had come ashore, Mayo had to "repair" all of LRH's auditing, and clean up his "mis-conceptions" (NOTs being referred to as a "mis-conception" rundown.)
Meanwhile, the Sea Org continues the "tradition" of being "out of valence in R6"....hitting wrong targets and asserting rightness in the face of extreme wrongnesses. In fact they are factually killing their product line, delivering OT VIII in an asbestos laden environment.
How do they continue to get away with this crap?
Of course, he was the one who had blown from every country he had been in, and started a paramilitary organization to research "upper level" material "off the comm lines of the world", while denigrating anyone that ventured close enough to him to know "the truth".
After he had come ashore, Mayo had to "repair" all of LRH's auditing, and clean up his "mis-conceptions" (NOTs being referred to as a "mis-conception" rundown.)
Meanwhile, the Sea Org continues the "tradition" of being "out of valence in R6"....hitting wrong targets and asserting rightness in the face of extreme wrongnesses. In fact they are factually killing their product line, delivering OT VIII in an asbestos laden environment.
How do they continue to get away with this crap?
Mark A. Baker
Sponsor
The British Navy, in the good ol' days before stinkpots, had a tradition wherein the midshipmen on board a sailing vessel stood at attention in full uniform on the top of the masts of the vessel upon leaving homeport in Bristol.
Now consider, this didn't mean he was down in the comparative safety of the "crow's nest". He had to shinny ALL the way up the mast and then come to a posture of full military attention on the masthead and remain there until ordered on deck after the vessel cleared harbor. Some of those masts were AWFULLY tall.
Mark A. Baker
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