Take Care and Thank You

onthepes

Patron with Honors
Hello All. I have decided to move on. I will be here for 2 more days, to give others a chance to say goodbye. I did not want to leave abruptly and not say goodbye, as I consider that as rude. I will paste a message here I sent to a friend below today and then I will add some comments on the end:

" I am a bit saddened right now. Not sure on what to do. I have been on here a lot lately. I posted 2 main stories here. One was about my time at Flag and the other was about a failed 2d that went horribly wrong. Nobody in the Flag story was from Brisbane. The 2d story - that person I was in a 2d with was declared. The other party is still on lines but I said little about them.

I have stepped up my replies on the Board recently and even put where I am from in my title. I invited people who were in Brisbane to contact me.


My mobile has been the same for the last 15 years. Lo and behold I got a call from OSA today. mmmm. They know I have been on here. They asked that I don't go on here. I asked if that was a threat. This guy said "No". He had been reading all my posts and I have always maintained that I still liked my former staff which I do. He said that if I have an upset I should have addressed that with the Church, rather than going on the Board. (like that would work). I said "Are you trying to salvage me?" He said "No, but posting on that board is upsetting people". I said "Who?" He said people who are still in the Church in Brisbane.


I said "But they don't look at the Board. They are not allowed?". He said "Nobody is stopping them" I said "Yes but it is certainly firmly suggested that they don't". The conversation continued and I told him I hated my time on staff. So much promised and nothing delivered. So much time wasted. That Scientology is the only way and that the policies dictate that you cannot do anything else but Scientology. He said "Every religion is like that". I said "Well, I was not in every religion, I was in Scientology for 7 years. 4 of them on staff. I don't know what other religions do".


I then came back to "who reads my posts in Brisbane?". He said "word filters back". I don't know how and why would those people that supposedly read the Boards, actually confront me about my posts. The OSA guy said he knows a lot of the people on here and they are basically liars. I doubt that. I have not lied about anything and I cannot see that others here would. I was offended.


I am a bit dispersed. I am thinking I will spend less time here. It seems it is a link somehow to Scientology in a strange way. Even if it is the other side of the fence. I am living with xxxxx and I am sure she won't appreciate being called.


Although the OSA guy was not rude and was in fact reasonably friendly, I am really upset right now. I may just come on here once a fortnight or month.
"

When I originally left Scientology, it was my utmost intention to become a Buddhist. I threw myself into studies, but have done little in that area in the last few months. I wish to re-establish those studies. I would like to become part of that group. I was not ready , as I feel I had some unresolved issues with Scientology. Coming to this board has afforded me the opportunity to have my say. I am grateful.

I have put a couple of stories here and I sincerely hope they have helped others. I am not a person who wants to hurt people. I have lived with the person that I live with now previously and it was not so pleasant during my time in Scientology. It has gotten much brighter recently. After the call today, it just brought everything flooding back in. I felt dispersed and not there. I could barely hear them talking to me. I do not want to be receiving calls here from OSA or anyone still in Scientology.

Being on this board still has me connected in some way. I don't want to be connected any more at all.

I have gotten a lot out of being here. I have met some wonderful people. I had a chance to tell my story. I got some wonderful replies and read some seriously funny shit.

I may come on once a month or so just to have a look in but I am thinking that I may not have to.

TO OSA:


  • do not contact me anymore. This is end cycle.
  • There are not other religions worse than Scientology that I know of and that is irrelevant anyway. Maybe there is/was but I was not in them.
  • people on here seem like sane rational beings. They do not come across as liars. They are not SPs.
  • i don't believe i have "upset" anyone in my home town. I would be surprised if any of them have even read this board. They know, and you know, that if they do they will be "handled". That is truth.
  • I believe I have mentioned 3 names on here. At each time I said that i knew them and that was pretty much it. There was nothing implied that would have hurt them.
  • I have no intention of hurting my former staff colleagues. However, I also have no intention on returning to Scientology.


To all here: Thank you for your support. I may check in from time to time but cannot guarantee it. This may upset some, and for that I apologize in advance.


Please take care and may you realize your dreams.


All my love


Onthepes
 

The_Fixer

Class Clown
Hey, I'm a Brisbane southsider and I read your stuff! does that count?

Been good to hear from you. best wishes and feel free to PM if you wish for more private contact.

Hey, BTW, FUCK OSA!!!!! Tell them if they want your thoughts to bend over and you'll show them. Now there's a temptation....

Don't let them win buddy. They are really pretty ineffective now. Ask Lohan how many [STRIKE]drips[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]dicks[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]fools[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]idjits[/STRIKE] members (gotta spell that right sometime!) in Brisbane org now. Was it 50 if they're lucky? I think not. So don't feel threatened man, OK?
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Sometimes the first little while on this board is an intense experience. Acually, often. Reading the stories, hearing the truth, it can take a while to assimilate it all. Years in fact. It all gets stirred up and we struggle to make sense of feelings that didn't seem to exist before and understand what happened to our lives.

Many, many people here have walked that road. Some stay a little while, some like me stay for years to hold out a hand to the ones following behind. It is all ok and we need to find our own pace and truths.

Whatever you choose to do, please do it for yourself, not because you had a phone call from OSA! By withdrawing here you are doing exactly what scientology wants, and it makes me feel ill to see that possibly happening. A "church" that does these things is despicable.

You do have support here, you can help people as well as yourself. Even if you only read as a guest, do stick around and watch the truth come out. It's gonna be interesting ....

Best wishes to you.
 

Cherished

Silver Meritorious Patron
onthepes,

one of the things that is very different about ESMB, compared to the CoS, is that it's easy to leave!! Your choice will be respected, I'm sure.

I guess I would comment that having had the call today, and it having such a profound impact on you, you may find yourself feeling different tomorrow, or in a month or some other time. If you decide to be an active part of ESMB again, you will be embraced with open arms.

You take care now.

:hifive:
 

Smilla

Ordinary Human
Hello All. I have decided to move on. I will be here for 2 more days, to give others a chance to say goodbye. I did not want to leave abruptly and not say goodbye, as I consider that as rude. I will paste a message here I sent to a friend below today and then I will add some comments on the end:

" I am a bit saddened right now. Not sure on what to do. I have been on here a lot lately. I posted 2 main stories here. One was about my time at Flag and the other was about a failed 2d that went horribly wrong. Nobody in the Flag story was from Brisbane. The 2d story - that person I was in a 2d with was declared. The other party is still on lines but I said little about them.

I have stepped up my replies on the Board recently and even put where I am from in my title. I invited people who were in Brisbane to contact me.


My mobile has been the same for the last 15 years. Lo and behold I got a call from OSA today. mmmm. They know I have been on here. They asked that I don't go on here. I asked if that was a threat. This guy said "No". He had been reading all my posts and I have always maintained that I still liked my former staff which I do. He said that if I have an upset I should have addressed that with the Church, rather than going on the Board. (like that would work). I said "Are you trying to salvage me?" He said "No, but posting on that board is upsetting people". I said "Who?" He said people who are still in the Church in Brisbane.


I said "But they don't look at the Board. They are not allowed?". He said "Nobody is stopping them" I said "Yes but it is certainly firmly suggested that they don't". The conversation continued and I told him I hated my time on staff. So much promised and nothing delivered. So much time wasted. That Scientology is the only way and that the policies dictate that you cannot do anything else but Scientology. He said "Every religion is like that". I said "Well, I was not in every religion, I was in Scientology for 7 years. 4 of them on staff. I don't know what other religions do".


I then came back to "who reads my posts in Brisbane?". He said "word filters back". I don't know how and why would those people that supposedly read the Boards, actually confront me about my posts. The OSA guy said he knows a lot of the people on here and they are basically liars. I doubt that. I have not lied about anything and I cannot see that others here would. I was offended.


I am a bit dispersed. I am thinking I will spend less time here. It seems it is a link somehow to Scientology in a strange way. Even if it is the other side of the fence. I am living with xxxxx and I am sure she won't appreciate being called.


Although the OSA guy was not rude and was in fact reasonably friendly, I am really upset right now. I may just come on here once a fortnight or month.
"

When I originally left Scientology, it was my utmost intention to become a Buddhist. I threw myself into studies, but have done little in that area in the last few months. I wish to re-establish those studies. I would like to become part of that group. I was not ready , as I feel I had some unresolved issues with Scientology. Coming to this board has afforded me the opportunity to have my say. I am grateful.

I have put a couple of stories here and I sincerely hope they have helped others. I am not a person who wants to hurt people. I have lived with the person that I live with now previously and it was not so pleasant during my time in Scientology. It has gotten much brighter recently. After the call today, it just brought everything flooding back in. I felt dispersed and not there. I could barely hear them talking to me. I do not want to be receiving calls here from OSA or anyone still in Scientology.

Being on this board still has me connected in some way. I don't want to be connected any more at all.

I have gotten a lot out of being here. I have met some wonderful people. I had a chance to tell my story. I got some wonderful replies and read some seriously funny shit.

I may come on once a month or so just to have a look in but I am thinking that I may not have to.

TO OSA:


  • do not contact me anymore. This is end cycle.
  • There are not other religions worse than Scientology that I know of and that is irrelevant anyway. Maybe there is/was but I was not in them.
  • people on here seem like sane rational beings. They do not come across as liars. They are not SPs.
  • i don't believe i have "upset" anyone in my home town. I would be surprised if any of them have even read this board. They know, and you know, that if they do they will be "handled". That is truth.
  • I believe I have mentioned 3 names on here. At each time I said that i knew them and that was pretty much it. There was nothing implied that would have hurt them.
  • I have no intention of hurting my former staff colleagues. However, I also have no intention on returning to Scientology.


To all here: Thank you for your support. I may check in from time to time but cannot guarantee it. This may upset some, and for that I apologize in advance.


Please take care and may you realize your dreams.


All my love


Onthepes

Do whatever feels right to you, and remember that you can come and go here as little or as much as you like. If you don't want to be too visible, you can talk to people in PM's.

I wish you well in all you do.

Smilla xx
 

Sindy

Crusader
He said, "Every religion is like that"

That's a new one! Their justifications are getting so comical. :melodramatic:

Hey, I've loved your stories AND your sincerity. Do what you want. You have definitely helped here and I am glad you have been helped. :)

Thank you. So, you're new to the scene so you were not here when the great Alanzo was posting. His words of wisdom to me were that I never needed to announce that I was no longer going to post here as inevitably, things change but I have done so on several occasions anyway.

You are free to post, not post, be here, not be here, do whatever you want. You are truly FREE and you owe no explanation. You are always welcome here. :hug:
 

Gadfly

Crusader
I get what you are saying onthepes. :yes:

Get more/back into Buddhism. Start a practice of meditation, to cease the endless inner chatter, if you have not already. Read about letting go of attachments, and work on yourself to let some go. Buddhism must also be applied for it to work! Reading and thinking won't get you there - you need to DO it (do practices with the mind).

You are what you focus on and think about (most of the time). And, if posting here and looking at this subject renders you somebody who you don't want to be, then move away. As the above poster said, one thing that is great about ESMB is that you can leave without any big deal being made out of it. We won't make you jump through all sorts of loops like the C of S would. And, if and when you decide to drop in again, you will be welcomed with open arms. Not like in Scientology where if you leave you can NEVER come back (withut doing the A-E steps), and where nobody will talk to you due to enforced disconnection.

And no, most people here are not liars and simply describe their own experiences and what they see as best they can.

I am glad that you told OSA what you really think. By the way, NEVER fall for them "being nice". They will lure you with phony affinity and understanding to get you to "come in". And, they will use whatever you tell them against you. To hurt you. To shut you up. They ONLY care about the Church of Scientology. It happened to me, and it has happened to others. They are manipulative SCUM no matter what they might otherwise pretend to be. NEVER trust them. They are the most gone of the long gone, and it is impossible to have a rational conversation with them, because they wallow in a large morass of severe fixed ideas.

OSA or even any Scientologist will NEVER have an honest conversation with you - they will always and only try to HANDLE YOU (according to some policy or "tech"). If they appear to be sincere and hinest, they are only playing a game, mocking up a beingness, and carefully choosing their communications to handle you. Really, you do NOT want to be "handled". :no:

Oh, also, to me, you had become a vital part of the ESMB. I will miss you. On one level I get that you must do what you must do. On the other hand, I am saddened to see a valuable poster leave. Open discussion of the many flaws and faults of Scientology is a very important function, and you have been a key part of that. Such a place as ESMB helps many to take a good look at the mess known as Scientology. It helpls many resolve their own inner difficulties with how and why they got in and stayed.
 
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Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
onthepes, :hug: Travel safe, friend, and I hope you do visit here now and then. Gonna miss ya. :yes:


Oh, and osa, fuck you. And - Wise up :scnsucks:
 

Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
Dear onthepes, Try not to let the bastards grind you down.

I kinda doubt the story you were fed about your posts "upsetting people", that's probably just OSA double-speak for "enlightening people"! Seriously, which still-in-good-standing scio is going to tell OSA that they're reading ESMB? OSA-idiots lie as a matter of course, even when they don't have to.

You've given enough pointers in your posts for OSA to figure out who you are, they undoubtedly know who most of us are to be honest; scientology-world is a small world, after all (and Brissie scientology is a VERY small world).

Do what you think is right for you, mate, get on with enjoying life after scientology.

All the best, Panda :)
 

Div6

Crusader
Thanks for all the posts.

I must say that it seems OSA scored an "upstat" by cutting your reach.
Be that as it may, you got to do what you got to do. If there is a "next time", ask them how posting on a board is in any way a violation of:

That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of other.
 

Bill

Gold Meritorious Patron
onthepes,

I've greatly appreciated your posts. Remember, this is not like Scientology: It isn't all black and white. You can do what you want, when you want, as much or as little, often or rarely.

Unlike Scientology, out here you are right and you are in charge.

Come back whenever you feel like it.

Bill
 
A suggestion - if you don't want OSA in your life, lay low for a while, get an new moniker and post here using that. I guess they figured out who you are from context - but saying you were a pes and knowing people in Brisban probably narrowed the field. Next time don't say where you are from or your former post - it is like having your next life! Pick up a new esmb body!

I don't know if they have your isp, some of the computer wanks on esmb can tell you if it is safe to use the same computer or internet provider or not with your new ID.

Anyway! Glad I met ya Mate! Have a Fosters for me!

Mimsey
 

Dilettante

Patron Meritorious
Do what you gotta do. Too bad about the bully, of all people, we understand. Take good care of yourself because this can get stressful. I'm hoping you laugh about some of this one day. I enjoyed your stay.
Dil
 

Aelita

Patron
I enjoyed your posts, even for the short amount of time I have been on here. Hope to see you back again someday soon :clap:
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation


I love what you said to the OSA guy.

I feel I connected with you for some reason and I'll miss you but I'm really happy that you are doing what feels right for you and if you change your mind later that will be OK too, we'll still be here.



:love11:
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
A suggestion - if you don't want OSA in your life, lay low for a while, get an new moniker and post here using that. I guess they figured out who you are from context - but saying you were a pes and knowing people in Brisban probably narrowed the field. Next time don't say where you are from or your former post - it is like having your next life! Pick up a new esmb body!

I don't know if they have your isp, some of the computer wanks on esmb can tell you if it is safe to use the same computer or internet provider or not with your new ID.

Anyway! Glad I met ya Mate! Have a Fosters for me!

Mimsey


Thank you Mimsey. Actually thank you everyone. I am overwhelmed in a happy way. The idea above is a good suggestion. I will take a couple of weeks out in 2 days time and probably return under another guise.

My heart is full of the kindness of others here. I won't let OSA get me down. On my return I will be a bit more anonymous (to use a popular term).

I have been out of work for the last 3 weeks and need my phone on. Otherwise I would have ignored the call from OSA, but I have been applying for different roles and I am waiting to hear back. I needed that call today like genital warts.

It would be nice to keep in touch in some fashion.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors


I love what you said to the OSA guy.

I feel I connected with you for some reason and I'll miss you but I'm really happy that you are doing what feels right for you and if you change your mind later that will be OK too, we'll still be here.



:love11:


I will miss you too. Very much so. We have a good liking for each other. I have learned something. There are people here that speak great wisdom and I have enjoyed their input. Somehow , they have done that whilst flying under the radar, which I think is very cool indeed. I have learned a lesson from that.

:love11:
 

Auditor's Toad

Clear as Mud
I'm glad for you that you get to make the decisions of what you will & what you won't pursue.

Ain't it nice to be free !


Oh, & " FUCK OSA " !
 
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