Take Care and Thank You

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Message to OSA.


When you are ready (and one day you will be) you will be very welcome here too, I know what you're going through and it really isn't necessary, your life is valuable ... please don't waste it.


:heartflower:
 

Kerry

Patron with Honors
As a wise ex on OCMB many years ago said when disappointed about something one time, "Ah poop!"

Loved you posts. What a number that bugger did on you.

Hope you do come back - often. And all the best of everything whatever you do. :flowers:
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
Sometimes the first little while on this board is an intense experience. Acually, often. Reading the stories, hearing the truth, it can take a while to assimilate it all. Years in fact. It all gets stirred up and we struggle to make sense of feelings that didn't seem to exist before and understand what happened to our lives.

Many, many people here have walked that road. Some stay a little while, some like me stay for years to hold out a hand to the ones following behind. It is all ok and we need to find our own pace and truths.

Whatever you choose to do, please do it for yourself, not because you had a phone call from OSA! By withdrawing here you are doing exactly what scientology wants, and it makes me feel ill to see that possibly happening. A "church" that does these things is despicable.

You do have support here, you can help people as well as yourself. Even if you only read as a guest, do stick around and watch the truth come out. It's gonna be interesting ....

Best wishes to you.

Thank you FTS. I value your responses . Please see my later posts. I shall return. Just a little quieter. Hopefully I will have some decent things to say. Hell, even half decent would be good.

And yes, it will be interesting. Thanks for your friendship. And also reading as a guest can still be pretty cool. Maybe I can go under the witness protection program. Just joking.
 

Auditor's Toad

Clear as Mud
Obviously, OSA has their good-little-readers reading every word posted on ESMB. That is a good thing as one day they'll see what what they are being fed at the org ain't anywhere near the truth.

And , perhaps, one day they'll ask themselves what kind of " religion " has this deep seated need to have to follow people who have left the group to see what they say or write.

just saying :)
 

Gib

Crusader
Obviously, OSA has their good-little-readers reading every word posted on ESMB. That is a good thing as one day they'll see what what they are being fed at the org ain't anywhere near the truth.

And , perhaps, one day they'll ask themselves what kind of " religion " has this deep seated need to have to follow people who have left the group to see what they say or write.

just saying :)

Alan Walters - "Do you really want the world run by scientology?"
 
Hello All. I have decided to move on. I will be here for 2 more days, to give others a chance to say goodbye. I did not want to leave abruptly and not say goodbye, as I consider that as rude. I will paste a message here I sent to a friend below today and then I will add some comments on the end:

" I am a bit saddened right now. Not sure on what to do. I have been on here a lot lately. I posted 2 main stories here. One was about my time at Flag and the other was about a failed 2d that went horribly wrong. Nobody in the Flag story was from Brisbane. The 2d story - that person I was in a 2d with was declared. The other party is still on lines but I said little about them.

I have stepped up my replies on the Board recently and even put where I am from in my title. I invited people who were in Brisbane to contact me.


My mobile has been the same for the last 15 years. Lo and behold I got a call from OSA today. mmmm. They know I have been on here. They asked that I don't go on here. I asked if that was a threat. This guy said "No". He had been reading all my posts and I have always maintained that I still liked my former staff which I do. He said that if I have an upset I should have addressed that with the Church, rather than going on the Board. (like that would work). I said "Are you trying to salvage me?" He said "No, but posting on that board is upsetting people". I said "Who?" He said people who are still in the Church in Brisbane.


I said "But they don't look at the Board. They are not allowed?". He said "Nobody is stopping them" I said "Yes but it is certainly firmly suggested that they don't". The conversation continued and I told him I hated my time on staff. So much promised and nothing delivered. So much time wasted. That Scientology is the only way and that the policies dictate that you cannot do anything else but Scientology. He said "Every religion is like that". I said "Well, I was not in every religion, I was in Scientology for 7 years. 4 of them on staff. I don't know what other religions do".


I then came back to "who reads my posts in Brisbane?". He said "word filters back". I don't know how and why would those people that supposedly read the Boards, actually confront me about my posts. The OSA guy said he knows a lot of the people on here and they are basically liars. I doubt that. I have not lied about anything and I cannot see that others here would. I was offended.


I am a bit dispersed. I am thinking I will spend less time here. It seems it is a link somehow to Scientology in a strange way. Even if it is the other side of the fence. I am living with xxxxx and I am sure she won't appreciate being called.


Although the OSA guy was not rude and was in fact reasonably friendly, I am really upset right now. I may just come on here once a fortnight or month.
"

When I originally left Scientology, it was my utmost intention to become a Buddhist. I threw myself into studies, but have done little in that area in the last few months. I wish to re-establish those studies. I would like to become part of that group. I was not ready , as I feel I had some unresolved issues with Scientology. Coming to this board has afforded me the opportunity to have my say. I am grateful.

I have put a couple of stories here and I sincerely hope they have helped others. I am not a person who wants to hurt people. I have lived with the person that I live with now previously and it was not so pleasant during my time in Scientology. It has gotten much brighter recently. After the call today, it just brought everything flooding back in. I felt dispersed and not there. I could barely hear them talking to me. I do not want to be receiving calls here from OSA or anyone still in Scientology.

Being on this board still has me connected in some way. I don't want to be connected any more at all.

I have gotten a lot out of being here. I have met some wonderful people. I had a chance to tell my story. I got some wonderful replies and read some seriously funny shit.

I may come on once a month or so just to have a look in but I am thinking that I may not have to.

TO OSA:


  • do not contact me anymore. This is end cycle.
  • There are not other religions worse than Scientology that I know of and that is irrelevant anyway. Maybe there is/was but I was not in them.
  • people on here seem like sane rational beings. They do not come across as liars. They are not SPs.
  • i don't believe i have "upset" anyone in my home town. I would be surprised if any of them have even read this board. They know, and you know, that if they do they will be "handled". That is truth.
  • I believe I have mentioned 3 names on here. At each time I said that i knew them and that was pretty much it. There was nothing implied that would have hurt them.
  • I have no intention of hurting my former staff colleagues. However, I also have no intention on returning to Scientology.


To all here: Thank you for your support. I may check in from time to time but cannot guarantee it. This may upset some, and for that I apologize in advance.


Please take care and may you realize your dreams.


All my love


Onthepes

Hi,

Speaking for myself, with my integrity intact, ::::


you can keep your friends, and your contacts in the Co$, not get declared, and remain yourself both with exes and "innies"

Several weeks ago I spent two - three days with a SO friend. I'm not going to get specific. But we had good times just like always.

Another friend, OT*, occasionally calls me to warn me of _____.

If you just be YOU, not "who you should be", you can navigate the waters without a lot of upset and haranguing.

It basically boils down to not "confronting," but, joining with each of your friends, in or out, in what you can agree on, enjoy together, without turning on the "opp term" thing. (I am a classed auditor, I can say these things.)

Why do a doubt formula?

so you can make some of your friends wrong?

Choose to be friends with all of your friends, not just the ones who agree with you about a small time religion on a out of the way planet.

Friends are more valuable than being right or wrong.
 

secretiveoldfag

Silver Meritorious Patron
I feel very sad that anyone should let OSA influence what they do, what they say, who they contact, who their friends are. :bigcry:

OSA are playground bullies. :sadwave: Take care but come back soon.
 

Adam7986

Declared SP
Wow, you were treated great! They warned you with a phone call and everything.

I got no such opportunity. I posted on here and two months later I was declared. My parents hunted me down to tell me in person they were throwing me out at the behest of Scientology.

I continue to post on here because it has been an important part of my healing process. It helps me to face what I have been through during my time in Scientology. It has even helped me to regain some suppressed memories.

You as an individual are free to speak your mind to whomever you choose about whatever you want.

Your mind may be made up, but I sincerely hope you will reconsider. I can't say I haven't had the same thought myself, of just running away from all things Scientology. However, I quickly realized that those were the things keeping me from either (a) losing my sanity or (b) going back to Scientology or (c) all of the above.

I have been able to keep my shit together this long because I have been able to see that others have gone through what I have gone through. No one in my life has been exposed to Scientology and so I have no one to really discuss my experiences with.

Being able to converse and collaborate with people here has done wonders to help me understand what I was a part of and to encourage me not only to not feel guilty about what has happened to me, but to move on with my life and let this all fall behind me.

I recommend that you change your phone number and hang around for a bit.
 

Claire Swazey

Spokeshole, fence sitter
Hi,

I experienced something similar when I was first posting. And then, I was posting pro CofS stuff. They kept saying not to and to write disconnection posts. It was a journey and the cult is a huge hassle to deal with.

You have to take care of you and do what's right for you.

If you ever need anything, my email address is my first and last name (no spaces) At yahoo dot com, and my home phone is listed under my name in Seattle, WA.
 

Sautez

Patron with Honors
Onthepes,

I have come and gone according to what I needed to do to feel healthy and happy.
Working with others here has allowed me to move on past all things Scientology. Then I see an article or something that makes me MAD about the injustices so I come back and do what I can in my own little way.
I've dealt with Osa and they will say and do anything including lying to get THEIR STATS UP and 'save' Scientology.
The world is big beautiful place and you will find many places and people that support who you really are and long to be, and where you personally want to gravitate. That's where the fun is! :happydance:
I wish you well in every way. I long for you to feel free and to say and feel anything you want, anywhere, anytime.

I've enjoyed your posts and the responses.

You are welcome to pm me anytime you need any links, data, or just someone to chat with. :rose:

Sautez
 

The_Fixer

Class Clown
Jeez such responses! Lots of good folk in here who really care. Not like that bunch of phonies in the Co$.

As Panda said "Noli illegitmi carborundum" - don't let the bastards grind you down.

You are really too little a fish for the group up here to use their resources to go after you like Marty and Debbie Cook, et al. They can have a little bit of a go, but at the end of the day, that little group still have to pay the rent and all the other bills. They would have to leave the bulk of their resources for the bigger guns.

Do what I do when I get those telemarketers. Say "Hello" and once I hear that Indian accent with a name like Tiffany or Sheila, I put the phone down on the table and get on with what I was doing and let them waste their own time. Then I just hang up 5 minutes later.

Thanks for your msg BTW. Will be in touch later. :thumbsup:
 

Claire Swazey

Spokeshole, fence sitter
Yep, there certainly is the major player situation that'd come into play. But you know, they can and do expell people for this. John and I were expelled (after walking away in disgust) for posting.

Now, not everyone cares. Like, "yah, go ahead and expell me". But it can be tough with family and friends being involved.
 
i think you might discover it feels very pleasant to get away from this board and just forget about it. i always feel better walking away

but i always feel good coming back and i hope you discover that pleasure as well
 

MrNobody

Who needs merits?
Hey onthepes,

Is it true? You want to leave without good ole me even having had found the time to read your story? Come on, you can't do that. :)

I'm here when my time permits and when I'm in the right mood - if that isn't the case, I will probably not read here, let alone deal with the hassles of logging in and posting.

But here's something Sautez posted, which I agree with:

<snip>
I've dealt with Osa and they will say and do anything including lying to get THEIR STATS UP and 'save' Scientology.
The world is big beautiful place and you will find many places and people that support who you really are and long to be, and where you personally want to gravitate. That's where the fun is! :happydance:
I wish you well in every way. I long for you to feel free and to say and feel anything you want, anywhere, anytime.

I've enjoyed your posts and the responses.

You are welcome to pm me anytime you need any links, data, or just someone to chat with. :rose:

Sautez

I think that's well said and probably better than I could have said it.

So when you leave and come back with a new name, you will just help OSA boost their stats.

OK, they probably know who you are, but as long as you don't want to re-join the cult, so what?

It's not that I wouldn't like to see the ESMB member base (formally) grow in numbers, it's just this little nagging question I have: How can you find happiness, if you can't even be who you are using the nick that you chose?

As I've already said: Sometimes I'm here and sometimes I'm not. OK, I'm not an Ex, I'm "just" an Never-In; a Wog, if you so will, so OSA has nothing on me. So I'm here when I want to be here and I'm not here when I don't want to. Would it make such a difference for you, if you did the same? :questions:

:cheers:,

MrN
 

Gib

Crusader
Hello All. I have decided to move on. I will be here for 2 more days, to give others a chance to say goodbye. I did not want to leave abruptly and not say goodbye, as I consider that as rude. I will paste a message here I sent to a friend below today and then I will add some comments on the end:

" I am a bit saddened right now. Not sure on what to do. I have been on here a lot lately. I posted 2 main stories here. One was about my time at Flag and the other was about a failed 2d that went horribly wrong. Nobody in the Flag story was from Brisbane. The 2d story - that person I was in a 2d with was declared. The other party is still on lines but I said little about them.

I have stepped up my replies on the Board recently and even put where I am from in my title. I invited people who were in Brisbane to contact me.


My mobile has been the same for the last 15 years. Lo and behold I got a call from OSA today. mmmm. They know I have been on here. They asked that I don't go on here. I asked if that was a threat. This guy said "No". He had been reading all my posts and I have always maintained that I still liked my former staff which I do. He said that if I have an upset I should have addressed that with the Church, rather than going on the Board. (like that would work). I said "Are you trying to salvage me?" He said "No, but posting on that board is upsetting people". I said "Who?" He said people who are still in the Church in Brisbane.


I said "But they don't look at the Board. They are not allowed?". He said "Nobody is stopping them" I said "Yes but it is certainly firmly suggested that they don't". The conversation continued and I told him I hated my time on staff. So much promised and nothing delivered. So much time wasted. That Scientology is the only way and that the policies dictate that you cannot do anything else but Scientology. He said "Every religion is like that". I said "Well, I was not in every religion, I was in Scientology for 7 years. 4 of them on staff. I don't know what other religions do".


I then came back to "who reads my posts in Brisbane?". He said "word filters back". I don't know how and why would those people that supposedly read the Boards, actually confront me about my posts. The OSA guy said he knows a lot of the people on here and they are basically liars. I doubt that. I have not lied about anything and I cannot see that others here would. I was offended.


I am a bit dispersed. I am thinking I will spend less time here. It seems it is a link somehow to Scientology in a strange way. Even if it is the other side of the fence. I am living with xxxxx and I am sure she won't appreciate being called.


Although the OSA guy was not rude and was in fact reasonably friendly, I am really upset right now. I may just come on here once a fortnight or month.
"

When I originally left Scientology, it was my utmost intention to become a Buddhist. I threw myself into studies, but have done little in that area in the last few months. I wish to re-establish those studies. I would like to become part of that group. I was not ready , as I feel I had some unresolved issues with Scientology. Coming to this board has afforded me the opportunity to have my say. I am grateful.

I have put a couple of stories here and I sincerely hope they have helped others. I am not a person who wants to hurt people. I have lived with the person that I live with now previously and it was not so pleasant during my time in Scientology. It has gotten much brighter recently. After the call today, it just brought everything flooding back in. I felt dispersed and not there. I could barely hear them talking to me. I do not want to be receiving calls here from OSA or anyone still in Scientology.

Being on this board still has me connected in some way. I don't want to be connected any more at all.

I have gotten a lot out of being here. I have met some wonderful people. I had a chance to tell my story. I got some wonderful replies and read some seriously funny shit.

I may come on once a month or so just to have a look in but I am thinking that I may not have to.

TO OSA:


  • do not contact me anymore. This is end cycle.
  • There are not other religions worse than Scientology that I know of and that is irrelevant anyway. Maybe there is/was but I was not in them.
  • people on here seem like sane rational beings. They do not come across as liars. They are not SPs.
  • i don't believe i have "upset" anyone in my home town. I would be surprised if any of them have even read this board. They know, and you know, that if they do they will be "handled". That is truth.
  • I believe I have mentioned 3 names on here. At each time I said that i knew them and that was pretty much it. There was nothing implied that would have hurt them.
  • I have no intention of hurting my former staff colleagues. However, I also have no intention on returning to Scientology.


To all here: Thank you for your support. I may check in from time to time but cannot guarantee it. This may upset some, and for that I apologize in advance.


Please take care and may you realize your dreams.


All my love


Onthepes

I like the fun side of life, mate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vtWB4owdE
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
Hello All. I have decided to move on. I will be here for 2 more days, to give others a chance to say goodbye. I did not want to leave abruptly and not say goodbye, as I consider that as rude. I will paste a message here I sent to a friend below today and then I will add some comments on the end:

" I am a bit saddened right now. Not sure on what to do. I have been on here a lot lately. I posted 2 main stories here. One was about my time at Flag and the other was about a failed 2d that went horribly wrong. Nobody in the Flag story was from Brisbane. The 2d story - that person I was in a 2d with was declared. The other party is still on lines but I said little about them.

I have stepped up my replies on the Board recently and even put where I am from in my title. I invited people who were in Brisbane to contact me.


My mobile has been the same for the last 15 years. Lo and behold I got a call from OSA today. mmmm. They know I have been on here. They asked that I don't go on here. I asked if that was a threat. This guy said "No". He had been reading all my posts and I have always maintained that I still liked my former staff which I do. He said that if I have an upset I should have addressed that with the Church, rather than going on the Board. (like that would work). I said "Are you trying to salvage me?" He said "No, but posting on that board is upsetting people". I said "Who?" He said people who are still in the Church in Brisbane.


I said "But they don't look at the Board. They are not allowed?". He said "Nobody is stopping them" I said "Yes but it is certainly firmly suggested that they don't". The conversation continued and I told him I hated my time on staff. So much promised and nothing delivered. So much time wasted. That Scientology is the only way and that the policies dictate that you cannot do anything else but Scientology. He said "Every religion is like that". I said "Well, I was not in every religion, I was in Scientology for 7 years. 4 of them on staff. I don't know what other religions do".


I then came back to "who reads my posts in Brisbane?". He said "word filters back". I don't know how and why would those people that supposedly read the Boards, actually confront me about my posts. The OSA guy said he knows a lot of the people on here and they are basically liars. I doubt that. I have not lied about anything and I cannot see that others here would. I was offended.


I am a bit dispersed. I am thinking I will spend less time here. It seems it is a link somehow to Scientology in a strange way. Even if it is the other side of the fence. I am living with xxxxx and I am sure she won't appreciate being called.


Although the OSA guy was not rude and was in fact reasonably friendly, I am really upset right now. I may just come on here once a fortnight or month.
"

When I originally left Scientology, it was my utmost intention to become a Buddhist. I threw myself into studies, but have done little in that area in the last few months. I wish to re-establish those studies. I would like to become part of that group. I was not ready , as I feel I had some unresolved issues with Scientology. Coming to this board has afforded me the opportunity to have my say. I am grateful.

I have put a couple of stories here and I sincerely hope they have helped others. I am not a person who wants to hurt people. I have lived with the person that I live with now previously and it was not so pleasant during my time in Scientology. It has gotten much brighter recently. After the call today, it just brought everything flooding back in. I felt dispersed and not there. I could barely hear them talking to me. I do not want to be receiving calls here from OSA or anyone still in Scientology.

Being on this board still has me connected in some way. I don't want to be connected any more at all.

I have gotten a lot out of being here. I have met some wonderful people. I had a chance to tell my story. I got some wonderful replies and read some seriously funny shit.

I may come on once a month or so just to have a look in but I am thinking that I may not have to.

TO OSA:


  • do not contact me anymore. This is end cycle.
  • There are not other religions worse than Scientology that I know of and that is irrelevant anyway. Maybe there is/was but I was not in them.
  • people on here seem like sane rational beings. They do not come across as liars. They are not SPs.
  • i don't believe i have "upset" anyone in my home town. I would be surprised if any of them have even read this board. They know, and you know, that if they do they will be "handled". That is truth.
  • I believe I have mentioned 3 names on here. At each time I said that i knew them and that was pretty much it. There was nothing implied that would have hurt them.
  • I have no intention of hurting my former staff colleagues. However, I also have no intention on returning to Scientology.


To all here: Thank you for your support. I may check in from time to time but cannot guarantee it. This may upset some, and for that I apologize in advance.


Please take care and may you realize your dreams.


All my love


Onthepes


Oh how I wish I'd had time to read all the other threads you started this last week..... I would have PM'd you if I thought you were revealing too much information about your identity. All you did was speak from your heart and wham! The clams are out snapping at you.

Don't let these people at OSA get to you! You have every right to do what you want, say what you want. Be what you want. Especially now that they know who you are. But you know what's best and when the right times are for being, doing and saying. Just exercise caution. But do not fear these people, as that is what they want.

"The internet is the Liberty Tree" ~Arnie Lerma

Keep looking. Keep reading.

Best wishes to you,

Mary
 

Dilettante

Patron Meritorious
Give it enough time, e/o's and c/s's will be thrilled with the gi generated from the ethics cycles. Reading these posts could cost your friends a lot of money. :unsure: osa might want you back at it.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
Thanks for the amazing responses. I am in awe. You are truly wonderful people. I love the sincerity of those that I read of here. I only feel that OSA have won, if I am feeling miserable. I actually feel really good today, so there is the answer.

After tomorrow, I will be taking a few weeks out to have some fun and firmly put in place a "moving forward plan". I feel I am ready to do that. Without this place, I would not be ready to do so. Without your help, it would not be possible. You have actually saved this little soul.

I will see how I feel in a few weeks and may just pop in for a peek from time to time, as you guys are vastly entertaining. All of my love and eternal gratitude. :cloud9:
 
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