Hello All. I have decided to move on. I will be here for 2 more days, to give others a chance to say goodbye. I did not want to leave abruptly and not say goodbye, as I consider that as rude. I will paste a message here I sent to a friend below today and then I will add some comments on the end:
" I am a bit saddened right now. Not sure on what to do. I have been on here a lot lately. I posted 2 main stories here. One was about my time at Flag and the other was about a failed 2d that went horribly wrong. Nobody in the Flag story was from Brisbane. The 2d story - that person I was in a 2d with was declared. The other party is still on lines but I said little about them.
I have stepped up my replies on the Board recently and even put where I am from in my title. I invited people who were in Brisbane to contact me.
My mobile has been the same for the last 15 years. Lo and behold I got a call from OSA today. mmmm. They know I have been on here. They asked that I don't go on here. I asked if that was a threat. This guy said "No". He had been reading all my posts and I have always maintained that I still liked my former staff which I do. He said that if I have an upset I should have addressed that with the Church, rather than going on the Board. (like that would work). I said "Are you trying to salvage me?" He said "No, but posting on that board is upsetting people". I said "Who?" He said people who are still in the Church in Brisbane.
I said "But they don't look at the Board. They are not allowed?". He said "Nobody is stopping them" I said "Yes but it is certainly firmly suggested that they don't". The conversation continued and I told him I hated my time on staff. So much promised and nothing delivered. So much time wasted. That Scientology is the only way and that the policies dictate that you cannot do anything else but Scientology. He said "Every religion is like that". I said "Well, I was not in every religion, I was in Scientology for 7 years. 4 of them on staff. I don't know what other religions do".
I then came back to "who reads my posts in Brisbane?". He said "word filters back". I don't know how and why would those people that supposedly read the Boards, actually confront me about my posts. The OSA guy said he knows a lot of the people on here and they are basically liars. I doubt that. I have not lied about anything and I cannot see that others here would. I was offended.
I am a bit dispersed. I am thinking I will spend less time here. It seems it is a link somehow to Scientology in a strange way. Even if it is the other side of the fence. I am living with xxxxx and I am sure she won't appreciate being called.
Although the OSA guy was not rude and was in fact reasonably friendly, I am really upset right now. I may just come on here once a fortnight or month."
When I originally left Scientology, it was my utmost intention to become a Buddhist. I threw myself into studies, but have done little in that area in the last few months. I wish to re-establish those studies. I would like to become part of that group. I was not ready , as I feel I had some unresolved issues with Scientology. Coming to this board has afforded me the opportunity to have my say. I am grateful.
I have put a couple of stories here and I sincerely hope they have helped others. I am not a person who wants to hurt people. I have lived with the person that I live with now previously and it was not so pleasant during my time in Scientology. It has gotten much brighter recently. After the call today, it just brought everything flooding back in. I felt dispersed and not there. I could barely hear them talking to me. I do not want to be receiving calls here from OSA or anyone still in Scientology.
Being on this board still has me connected in some way. I don't want to be connected any more at all.
I have gotten a lot out of being here. I have met some wonderful people. I had a chance to tell my story. I got some wonderful replies and read some seriously funny shit.
I may come on once a month or so just to have a look in but I am thinking that I may not have to.
TO OSA:
- do not contact me anymore. This is end cycle.
- There are not other religions worse than Scientology that I know of and that is irrelevant anyway. Maybe there is/was but I was not in them.
- people on here seem like sane rational beings. They do not come across as liars. They are not SPs.
- i don't believe i have "upset" anyone in my home town. I would be surprised if any of them have even read this board. They know, and you know, that if they do they will be "handled". That is truth.
- I believe I have mentioned 3 names on here. At each time I said that i knew them and that was pretty much it. There was nothing implied that would have hurt them.
- I have no intention of hurting my former staff colleagues. However, I also have no intention on returning to Scientology.
To all here: Thank you for your support. I may check in from time to time but cannot guarantee it. This may upset some, and for that I apologize in advance.
Please take care and may you realize your dreams.
All my love
Onthepes