Take my Advice!

HelluvaHoax!

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(Advice to Independent Scientologists): Congratulations! You have left the CoS and thereby remedied one (1) of your one-million blind spots. To avoid a fatal collision (with life) get wayyyyyy more mirrors installed for the remaining blind spots and start using them immediately.
 
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Oblivion

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Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

That was the first thing I thought of when I saw that title :p
 

HelluvaHoax!

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(Advice to Kirstie Allie): The mystical solutions that you have been searching for in Scientology to handle obesity does not require millions of dollars and decades of introverting fail technology. The answer is both simple and free. Close mouth.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
(Advice to Sea Org Members, part II): While you are busy salvaging this sector of the Galaxy, remember to find a few moments of personal enhancement time for yourself so that you can blow. Then, when you are a safe distance away, have the "We Come Back" tattoo removed from the inside or your eyeballs.
 
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