TECH BREAKTHROUGH! Why your BT's are still haunting your ass!

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
It may come as a shock to all of you on ESMB, but I have been recovered by the Church of Scientology. I am now back on the level! This miracle was only possible because of a new release of old LRH tech on OT VII. The squirrels took this precious tech away from us.

No wonder we all left with "no results"!

It explains why BT's do not blow....preventing you, the being, from achieving gains beyond your wildest imagination. This correction list handled my case and it can handle yours!

I cannot give you all the info here, so you will need to go in for a briefing. Tell them that I am your FSM, so your exchange is in, otherwise you might not get the gains you deserve. After they assessed the entire correction list on me, only one question read:"Hell no, we won't go!"

The handling is to do a Listing & Nulling on all BT's and just let them shout out their items randomly. Here is what happened...

L & N:
WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU GO?

I have no MU's why should I leave? x

Break our billion year contract and get Declared? No way! tic

We'd love to leave--but you can't audit worth shit! sf

Just hangin' around for the sex, especially with hot Asian chicks. dirty needle

So, you're saying I am a Being stuck inside an evil Cluster? Damn, I thought this was the RPF! tic

No thanks, I'm stayin, cuz they promised me Total Freedom in here. x

We're waiting for the economy to pick up. What part of JOBS don't you understand? sf

Uhhh, did you ever stop to think maybe we are waiting for YOU to split? tic

Ron says the only reason you have a conflict with us is Third Party. Let's handle it. sf

We'll guarantee you that we'll blow but only if you guarantee us a feature story in the St. Pete Times. fall

Why do you keep asking us to leave? Ever hear about something called 'manners'? x

Jeez, you still don't get it. We aren't BT's. This is a protest by Thetan's Anonymous. fall

Maybe if you started doing your 5 sessions a day instead of wasting the whole damn week lurking on ESMB, you'd get something done around here! x

We are applying Ron's policy on Leaving & Leaves. No Replacements, No Blow! LFBD FN.... Item Indicated
(All BTs were VGI's but none blew after this cognition. I am waiting for a new C/S that they said will totally handle it!)
 

Gadfly

Crusader
It may come as a shock to all of you on ESMB, but I have been recovered by the Church of Scientology. I am now back on the level! This miracle was only possible because of a new release of old LRH tech on OT VII. The squirrels took this precious tech away from us.

No wonder we all left with "no results"!

It explains why BT's do not blow....preventing you, the being, from achieving gains beyond your wildest imagination. This correction list handled my case and it can handle yours!

I cannot give you all the info here, so you will need to go in for a briefing. Tell them that I am your FSM, so your exchange is in, otherwise you might not get the gains you deserve. After they assessed the entire correction list on me, only one question read:"Hell no, we won't go!"

The handling is to do a Listing & Nulling on all BT's and just let them shout out their items randomly. Here is what happened...

L & N:
WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU GO?

I have no MU's why should I leave? x

Break our billion year contract and get Declared? No way! tic

We'd love to leave--but you can't audit worth shit! sf

Just hangin' around for the sex, especially with hot Asian chicks. dirty needle

You're saying I am a Being stuck inside an evil Cluster? Damn, I thought this was the RPF! tic

No thanks, I'm stayin, cuz they promised me Total Freedom in here. x

We're waiting for the economy to pick up. What part of JOBS don't you understand? sf

Uhhh, did you ever stop to think maybe we are waiting for YOU to split? tic

Ron says the only reason you have a conflict with us is Third Party. Let's handle it. sf

We'll guarantee you that we'll blow but only if you guarantee us a feature story in the St. Pete Times. fall

Why do you keep asking us to leave? Ever hear about something called 'manners'? x

Jeez, you still don't get it. We aren't BT's. This is a protest by Thetan's Anonymous. fall

Maybe if you started doing your 5 sessions a day instead of wasting the whole damn week lurking on ESMB, you'd get something done around here! x

We are applying Ron's policy on Leaving & Leaves. No replacements, No Blow! LFBD FN.... Item Indicated
(All BTs were VGI's but none blew after this cognition. I am waiting for a new C/S that they said will totally handle it!)

God, you crack me up at times! This is just so funny, over and over and over! I admire your uncanny ability to "grok" the current "Zeitgeist" of the board at this or any moment, and then frame a totally hilarious scenario, that directly ties in to 1) some "currently popular topic" of posting, and 2) various subtleties that ONLY someone who had been there involved with the Church of Scientology, more than just slightly, could possibly get as humor.

I mean this GREAT!!!! I read through this, belly-laughing, just breaking up the whole time with your hilarious descriptions. Putting a "read" next to the each list qusetion, like on an actual Scn auditor session worksheet! Fall, small fall, tick, etc. I wonder what percentage of people reading that actually "gets it". Ah, the benefits of having REALLY BEEN STUCK in the cult. Being able to tell jokes about Scientology that only a few small SELECT group can relate to. But, the bad part is, I GET IT!!!!! :omg:

This is a TOP LEVEL BEATS-ALL-EARLIER attempts at humor type post! (Like a "Scn event" - the upcoming event must always be bigger, better, and more IMPORTANT than any other previous event!)

Highest rating!!!! 6 Screaming Psychos.

:omg: :omg: :omg: :omg: :omg: :omg:

Joker & Degrader Patron Award for Consistent & Creative Pissing on the Church of Scientology
 
Last edited:

looker

Patron Meritorious
Yah had me laughing all through the list. :happydance:
Too funny why do you keep asking us to leave? No manners? :D:D:D
Agreed awarded 6 screaming Psycos :omg::omg::omg::omg::omg::omg:
 

Gadfly

Crusader
Yah had me laughing all through the list. :happydance:
Too funny why do you keep asking us to leave? No manners? :D:D:D
Agreed awarded 6 screaming Psycos :omg::omg::omg::omg::omg::omg:

By the way, GREAT AVATAR looker!

The character of Captain Jack Sparrow, as played by Johnny Deep in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, is just so amazingly funny, to me, on so many levels. The way he adds in this slight effeminate characteristic, having Jack "prance around" at times, is so so funny. I loved the first two I have seen, but still need to see the last (third installment).
 

Gadfly

Crusader
HH, I hope that we are sufficiently pumping up your "comedian ego".

All of this incredible validation!!!! :happydance:

I hope it has the result of encouraging you to just FUCKING KEEP IT UP!!! :thumbsup:
 

HappyGirl

Gold Meritorious Patron
We'd love to leave--but you can't audit worth shit! sf

Uhhh, did you ever stop to think maybe we are waiting for YOU to split? tic

Why do you keep asking us to leave? Ever hear about something called 'manners'? x

Jeez, you still don't get it. We aren't BT's. This is a protest by Thetan's Anonymous. fall
Oh man, I've had all these BTs. :melodramatic: "Thetans Anonymous" - hahahaha!!!

I wonder what percentage of people reading that actually "gets it".
I'm glad to know someone else does!!
 

Mystic

Crusader
It may come as a shock to all of you on ESMB, but I have been recovered by the Church of Scientology. I am now back on the level! This miracle was only possible because of a new release of old LRH tech on OT VII. The squirrels took this precious tech away from us.

No wonder we all left with "no results"!

It explains why BT's do not blow....preventing you, the being, from achieving gains beyond your wildest imagination. This correction list handled my case and it can handle yours!

I cannot give you all the info here, so you will need to go in for a briefing. Tell them that I am your FSM, so your exchange is in, otherwise you might not get the gains you deserve. After they assessed the entire correction list on me, only one question read:"Hell no, we won't go!"

The handling is to do a Listing & Nulling on all BT's and just let them shout out their items randomly. Here is what happened...

L & N:
WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU GO?

I have no MU's why should I leave? x

Break our billion year contract and get Declared? No way! tic

We'd love to leave--but you can't audit worth shit! sf

Just hangin' around for the sex, especially with hot Asian chicks. dirty needle

So, you're saying I am a Being stuck inside an evil Cluster? Damn, I thought this was the RPF! tic

No thanks, I'm stayin, cuz they promised me Total Freedom in here. x

We're waiting for the economy to pick up. What part of JOBS don't you understand? sf

Uhhh, did you ever stop to think maybe we are waiting for YOU to split? tic

Ron says the only reason you have a conflict with us is Third Party. Let's handle it. sf

We'll guarantee you that we'll blow but only if you guarantee us a feature story in the St. Pete Times. fall

Why do you keep asking us to leave? Ever hear about something called 'manners'? x

Jeez, you still don't get it. We aren't BT's. This is a protest by Thetan's Anonymous. fall

Maybe if you started doing your 5 sessions a day instead of wasting the whole damn week lurking on ESMB, you'd get something done around here! x

We are applying Ron's policy on Leaving & Leaves. No Replacements, No Blow! LFBD FN.... Item Indicated
(All BTs were VGI's but none blew after this cognition. I am waiting for a new C/S that they said will totally handle it!)

:roflmao: :hysterical: :hifive: :sing: :grouphug: :dance2: :lol:
 

Good twin

Floater
You really need to put the buttons in on the ticks and follow up on that dirty needle. (could be a really juicy ev purp there):coolwink:
 

Gadfly

Crusader
You really need to put the buttons in on the ticks and follow up on that dirty needle. (could be a really juicy ev purp there):coolwink:

You REALLY know WAY too much about all of this "auditing tech" stuff!!!!!:omg: I forgot about putting in the "buttons on the tics" . . . .
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
You really need to put the buttons in on the ticks and follow up on that dirty needle. (could be a really juicy ev purp there):coolwink:

WOW, GT! It worked! I got my first BT to blow!!!

BT SUCCESS STORY

I have been stuck on a helluva homo sapiens for so damn long I had just given up hope of ever escaping. Then, Ron's new BlowTech was released it read on "Hell No We Won't Go!"

OMG! I thought all these tens of thousands of BTs I was hanging out with were part of a Vietnam War Protest!

Once I realized that, I stopped chanting "Hell No We Won't Go!" and started my Leaving Routing Form! This is sooo amazing. They said that once I get Sec Checks and pay off my Freeloader Bill I am free to go!!!

Thanks to my auditor and Ron, BT's Greatest Friend!
 

Gadfly

Crusader
:blush: I audited for 30 years. I only been out for 2.

THAT might explain it! :thumbsup:

I couldn't imagine being on staff for that long (wrong assumption possible here). After a few years in the Sea Org, and seeing endless non-stop insanity all around me, day after day, including everyone from the very top on down, I wanted as far away as possible from THAT sort of environment. But also, I never had any affinity for any sort of overly-controlled bureaucratic environment, and the local Orgs were like that too. I suppose, way back, maybe 25 or so years, I at one time had the opinion that MAYBE I could have stayed in the Sea Org or on staff if I was "auditing others" and able to directly observe positive gains, on a continual basis, in real people. But the extreme nuttiness of the Church always acted to overbalance, for me, any positive aspect that it might have had that might have encouraged me to want to do more than some of my own occasional training and auditing.

But, I get it!
 

Good twin

Floater
THAT might explain it! :thumbsup:

I couldn't imagine being on staff for that long (wrong assumption possible here). After a few years in the Sea Org, and seeing endless non-stop insanity all around me, day after day, including everyone from the very top on down, I wanted as far away as possible from THAT sort of environment. But also, I never had any affinity for any sort of overly-controlled bureaucratic environment, and the local Orgs were like that too. I suppose, way back, maybe 25 or so years, I at one time had the opinion that MAYBE I could have stayed in the Sea Org or on staff if I was "auditing others" and able to directly observe positive gains, on a continual basis, in real people. But the extreme nuttiness of the Church always acted to overbalance, for me, any positive aspect that it might have had that might have encouraged me to want to do more than some of my own occasional training and auditing.

But, I get it!
Nah. I wasn't on staff the whole time.
 
Yeah but I got recovered after you HH, to deal with the fact that everybody who uses the tech you are talking about is stlll PTS and not OT after completion, Anyway, its the re-do they all have to do.

In this little process the "OT" has get his/her body thetans to audit HIM out - or HER out. It's really powerful.
And guess what? NONE OF THE COMPLETIONS HAVE EVER BLOWN AFTER THIS LEVEL>
After this level they can't blow - actually they can't even blow their nose or go to the toilet by themselves, or stop their eyes spinning, but we are just regging them for more of it. The way out is the way through.
 

Mystic

Crusader
WOW, GT! It worked! I got my first BT to blow!!!

BT SUCCESS STORY

I have been stuck on a helluva homo sapiens for so damn long I had just given up hope of ever escaping. Then, Ron's new BlowTech was released it read on "Hell No We Won't Go!"

OMG! I thought all these tens of thousands of BTs I was hanging out with were part of a Vietnam War Protest!

Once I realized that, I stopped chanting "Hell No We Won't Go!" and started my Leaving Routing Form! This is sooo amazing. They said that once I get Sec Checks and pay off my Freeloader Bill I am free to go!!!

Thanks to my auditor and Ron, BT's Greatest Friend!

I can't comment. Too busy laughing.
 

anonomog

Gold Meritorious Patron
:dieslaughing:

Thanks HelluvaHoax, spewed water on my keyboard and my mascara is running. All in all a good way to start friday.

LOL.
:dieslaughing:
 
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