Truth Is A Pathless Land
In 1999 I wrote the following short poem:
I have looked with eyes wide open
Still unable to see
I have questioned the heart of another
And found that I was questioning me
Life has taught me in a most definite manner, that no matter what is happening physically in ones life, one still has the power of their own reaction. I understand that there are those who have been through far worse experiences than I have, so I don't wish to comment on that, but only on what I have experienced, and what it has taught me. Through a renewed study of Eckhard Tolle's work, and also Krishnamurti's, I have found it easier to get my head out of the clouds, and back down to earth, to the here and now, where life is happening.
It actually feels like, perhaps for the first time, I am no longer "searching" and am just being. And that beingness isn't without its problems! There are bad days as well as good days. But this brings me back to my point about reactions.
Some days I find myself dwelling on the cancer experience, and allowing the experts and their statistical probabilities regarding potential lifespan blacken my day. It happens. But then I remember that life is now. It is no other time than now. So then I communicate to the environment that I am a part of, not the one in my head, in my past.
Some days I get stuck in the uncertainties of it all. I see others, such as children, going through painful circumstances, and feel powerless to help. Them and myself. I have learnt not to run away from this feeling. This is life. It hurts more when you run away.
And then some days everything goes right. Intuition and synchronicity make themselves known. On these days I don't seem to care about the past. I'm not even trying not to. It just happens. Sometimes I wish that all days could be like this. Then I wonder if they were, would I have had the experiences that taught me, through their ups and downs, that days like this are so wonderful?
These days I have the least amount of attention on the CoS than since leaving. Whilst previously I had my upsets with them, I don't feel this way now. I do see them for the organisation that they are. I guess, for me personally, I got tired of being a victimologist. Not regarding the CoS and my experiences there, but with life in general.
Life is now. This is what I have learnt.
From "Truth Is A Pathless Land" by Krishnamurti:
You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, "What did that man pick up?" "He picked up a piece of Truth," said the devil. "That is a very bad business for you, then." said his friend. "Oh, not at all," the devil replied, "I am going to let him organize it."
I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organised; nor should any organisation be formed to lead or coerce people along any particular path. If you first understand that, then you will see how impossible it is to organise a belief. A belief is purely an individual matter, and you cannot and must not organise it. If you do, it becomes dead, crystallised; it becomes a creed, a sect, a religion, to be imposed on others.
This is what everyone throughout the world is attempting to do. Truth is narrowed down and made a plaything for those who are weak, for those who are only momentarily discontented. Truth cannot be brought down, rather the individual must make the effort to ascend to it.
[...]
Again, you have the idea that only certain people hold the key to the Kingdom of Happiness. No one holds it. No one has the authority to hold that key. That key is your own self, and in the development and the purification and in the incorruptibility of that self alone is the Kingdom of Eternity.
So you will see how absurd is this whole structure that you have built, looking for external help, depending on others for your comfort, for your happiness, for your strength. These can only be found within yourself.
Neo