Not sure where to put this. I just wanted to communicate it.
The Church of Scientology not satisfied with the terrible harm done to one family, now threaten to tear apart and destroy another entire family because I (a declared suppressive) am still in contact with them.
I have tried very hard to co-operate with them so that they would not declare other members of my family who refused to disconnect from me. But it is impossible, I cannot, will not, bow down to their ridiculous demands.
As long as I am alive and in contact with them....
I was upset, heavily weighed by this threat and didn’t know what I could possibly do to make things better.
I started to get physical pain in my lower abdomen. At first I thought that it was a muscle that had gotten pulled while I was working. But the pain got worse, and worse, and worse.
There was a point where I knew that whatever was causing this pain required surgery immediately, or I was going to die. I packed a few things into a bag and thought it likely that I was not going to come home ever again. I didn’t want to leave a messy body lying around so I got to the emergency ward of the local hospital.
The pain intensity was so very great and I was being wheeled about on a cart with tubes in my nose and other tubes into veins feeding my body with some sort of fluids.
I heard one of the doctors say. “The morphine is not working. She’s going into shock. We’ll have to get something stronger.”
Then everything went black and my body was no longer perceiving anything at all.
I looked around and found all these conversations going on between some terminals at the CofS. One of the Flag MAAs was railing at me and pointing to a document.
“Look here! You signed this agreement. This is your signature, written in your blood, your DNA. You agreed to abide by these rules. You are making me do this! Why are you still here! Now I have to declare yet more people. More problems to handle, more trouble that we don’t need. It’s your fault, so just go, leave!”
Somehow, he just seemed rather ridiculous and I felt so sorry for him in his indignity.
Then I found myself picking out certain Scientologists that I had known quite well. It was peculiar that I picked out those 10 beings.
All 10 had some things in common. Firstly, they were ones that I really didn’t like. Secondly, they all had that hardened Scientology dedicated glare in their eyes, that kinda ‘no sympathy’ type attitude. A demeanor of harsh heaviness. The ser-facy type that loves to make others wrong by saying things like; “Get your ethics in!” “What are you doing about it!” “Take responsibility for it!” “What are your stats?” “Stop nattering and write up your O/Ws!” “Stop being a victim!” “What is your condition on this?”
There were many others that I passed by, I found them to be still studying and looking for truth. I just caressed the top of their heads and wished them well on their path.
Of the 10 that I had picked, I approach the first one. I held out my hand and said “Come with me, I’ve a new game to show you.” I was amazed when she looked up and said in all innocence “Oh, Ok. Where are we going?”.
I did the same to each one of the remaining 10. I was so surprised that nearly all of them were interested and took my hand.
I found myself telling them I wanted them to do some very specific things that had to be done in an exact sequence.
First we need to leave our current scenes and cross this long blackness, out into space. We’re going out to about the distance of Saturn. They followed.
Good. Now, you see this nice warm swimming pool. I want you to have a swim in this lovely water. Clean away all your pre-conceptions and un-evaluated data. Just swim around until you feel all fuzzy, warm and comfy and willing to look in a new unit of time.
Most got into the swimming pool. Two of them wouldn’t get into the pool and kept asking what clothes they should wear while swimming. I told them, “I don’t know what you should wear. It doesn’t really matter. Wear anything you like.”
Five of them were now finished in the swimming pool and got out.
I showed them a new landscape. A black sky with a very bright star about half way up the horizon was shining with about the same amount of light that a full moon on earth would.
“See that steady yellow star, that is our sun. Isn’t it pretty? Those fainter stars (I pointed to certain ones) are neighbouring stars, some are much smaller than our own star and they are mostly quite different from each other. Listen to individual songs they sing.
Have a look at the landscape of this world. This lake here is liquid methane. See the waves and how slowly they build up, rising very tall before making a crest, some of the droplets freezing out as they reach colder strata and begin falling as snowflakes, melting as they fall again into liquid droplets.
See this crystalline rock structure on the shore line, that’s actually water ice, just very, very hard at this temperature.
I showed them some of the many, many things of science and maths and the wondrous things to discover and play with in the universe that I love so dearly and feel so passionately about.
Then I showed them my house set on the sand banks of the shore line. I spoke most enthusiastically about engineering techniques and the amazing things that one can do with metallic hydrogen compounds. Fluids (normally gases at earth temperatures) can run uphill quite easily at low temperatures.
I told them that they were welcome to stay at my house and play in my universe anytime they wished.”
I was gobsmacked that five of them actually understood and accepted me for who I was. They were happy to play here for a while.
Suddenly, the lights in my body all came back on again, it felt a bit like a computer being re-booted. The body came back on-line. It was in a very sorry and bashed up state. It had been operated on and had been pulled from the brink of death, but it was alive.
I managed to recover and I’m getting better and stronger every day.
The dream I had was surely a delusion caused by the pain and medication but I was told that while I was in surgery, many conversations and telephone calls were being made from the MAAs office to my family. More debate and talk of yet more declares were bandied about.
The dream and the communication with the other people were so vivid and real to me. It helped me very much to handle any doubt in my mind as to whether I should co-operate with the CofS.
Also I feel so happy to know (or believe mistakenly) that even the most dyed-in-the-wool, hardened and ser-facy staunch CofS Sea Org member can be communicated to at a theta level.
It feels so good to be alive and to communicate about those things which I love the most.