The crap may have hit the fan.....

Iknowtoomuch

Gold Meritorious Patron
My wife this morning saw my purchase of "The Complex" on out bank account.
She asked what I bought so I told her straight forward that it was a book about a guys experience in the Sea Org and Scientology.
Oh boy...
She was not happy.
We had another long discussion about this. She calls it enterbulation and I kept trying to get her to see the things on the net that I have and that the "church" isn't what it was meant to be (although that was to make her feel better).
She finally calmed down but she had to get get a tea and sit and think.
I made her promise that she wouldn't call any Scientologists as that would possibly be the end of our long marriage.
Her dad was in disagreement with the "church as well before he died so much of what she's going through is past crap she's had to go through already.

She did agree not to talk to any Scientologists and that if she was going to call someone, it would be my dad who is no longer a Scientologist.

I don't know where this will lead....
 

uniquemand

Unbeliever
Best of luck, IKTM. It's "Us and Them"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrIHBTElofA


We haven't always seen eye to eye, buddy, on a lot of things, but I feel you, here. I have walked in your shoes. Remember to always include her in your Us, IKTM. Never give in and consider her "Them". That's how you lose this one. Find what you love about her, and love her so much she knows who loves her. Make sure she knows, you don't get a second chance.

"Haven't you heard, it's a battle of words,
and most of them are lies"

Be yourself. You are the one she loves. Give her reason to remember.
 

Iknowtoomuch

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thank you. That brings tears to me eyes which is very very rare.
I'm not sure what I would do without her. And then theres my daughter.
 

EP - Ethics Particle

Gold Meritorious Patron
Truth!

The truth is out - it will lead to the good.

One key card has just been exposed on the poker table. :ohmy: I suggest you turn 'em all "face-up" :omg: and take it from there, dude! :no: :nervous: :yes:

Full disclosure is never as bad as you imagine it; "I know..." - from much experience. :coolwink:

Admit it...you do feel some relief, don't ya? :confused2:

Love and best wishes to you and yours,

Mike aka Roy and EP (PMs welcome)
 

Black Sun

Patron
It may take a while to confront that we were cheated and how much. You may have more of that confront than she does. While you believe in scn you have a glorious eternity promised to you. The moment you admit it was a lie, that eternity is gone. She probably resists that sick feeling in her stomach that this admission would cause, not you or what you do. But it probably just takes a milder gradient.
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Yeah, good luck IKTM. Love may do more than reason here. Reason and the CofS don't mix too well.

Paul
 

EastAnon

Patron with Honors
Good luck to you, IKTM. I sincerely hope you can make her see bright sunlight, instead of the small bundle of light called scientology.
 
Be careful. I'm Lucky I don't have that same situation, but if I did it would freak me out. Let her know how much you love her, and that trumps everything else. I wish you the best of luck.

The Anabaptist Jacques
 

Iknowtoomuch

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thank you so much for your support.
It came up once before but that time it was even worse.
I think she might be getting ok with it. She was in the SO as well and knows quite well things aren't right.

She did call my dad and he's supposed to call me to talk about the whole situation. I just hope he's not going to have a Scientolgy view of things (very doubtfull!).
She's still not home but sounded much better and repeated my "I love you" at the end of the call. I consider that a good sign.

For "SP's" you guys and girls sure are quite something!
 

nowwhat

Patron with Honors
Yeah I mean we all really have terrible horrendous crimes but every day we help complete strangers find solutions on message boards, when really we are just waiting to strike with furious anger... :eyeroll:

I wish you the best!
 

Axiom142

Gold Meritorious Patron
IKTM,

Phew, that sounds like a difficult situation. But, I guess that she would have to know sooner or later anyway.

My viewpoint is that Scientology is supposed to be about Truth, and how can you attempt to find the truth if you refuse to even look at facts just because they are upsetting?

I would also go through the Doubt formula together. Obviously to do this properly, you have to be able to look at both sides of the picture so to speak.

Good luck, I've got my fingers crossed for you both. :goodluck:

Axiom142
 
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EP - Ethics Particle

Gold Meritorious Patron
Neighborly advice...

Thank you so much for your support.
I came up once before but that time it was even worse.
I think she might be getting ok with it. She was in the SO as well and knows quite well things aren't right.

She did call my dad and he's supposed to call me to talk about the whole situation. I just hope he's not going to have a Scientolgy view of things (very doubtfull!).
She's still not home but sounded much better and repeated my "I love you" at the end of the car. I consider that a good sign.

For "SP's" you guys and girls sure are good people!

Son, for what it's worth....

About 45 years ago I bought my first house and had a wonderful next door neighbor who was a retired railroad man. He was probably about as old then as I am now, and he and I spent a fair amount of time visiting and talking back and forth. He had a really nice family complete with grandchildren.

One day he said to me "Mike, I'm gonna tell you how I've lived my life - and it's pretty simple. I was given this advice when I was a young man, and took it to heart - I never had a job I wouldn't quit; and I never met a woman I couldn't live without."

You might say he was not in the least propitiative to any man, woman or child.

It worked for him, it has worked for me and others I've shared it with.

You might want to give it some thought; bearing in mind that it is an attitude and not always a doingness. :coolwink:

Mike
 

DCAnon

Silver Meritorious Patron
Hubbard got it wrong. SP really means Special People.

I may not know you at all or ever meet you in the real world, but I am sending as much love and positive thoughts to you and your family as I can. I hope that no matter what challenges might be coming, that the love in your family is strong enough to overcome anything! And no matter what, you've got the support and help of everyone here if you need us for anything at all. :3
 

nowwhat

Patron with Honors
Son, for what it's worth....
"Mike, I'm gonna tell you how I've lived my life - and it's pretty simple. I was given this advice when I was a young man, and took it to heart - I never had a job I wouldn't quit; and I never met a woman I couldn't live without."

I gotta commit that quote to memory.
 

Terril park

Sponsor
My wife this morning saw my purchase of "The Complex" on out bank account.
She asked what I bought so I told her straight forward that it was a book about a guys experience in the Sea Org and Scientology.
Oh boy...
She was not happy.
We had another long discussion about this. She calls it enterbulation and I kept trying to get her to see the things on the net that I have and that the "church" isn't what it was meant to be (although that was to make her feel better).
She finally calmed down but she had to get get a tea and sit and think.
I made her promise that she wouldn't call any Scientologists as that would possibly be the end of our long marriage.
Her dad was in disagreement with the "church as well before he died so much of what she's going through is past crap she's had to go through already.

She did agree not to talk to any Scientologists and that if she was going to call someone, it would be my dad who is no longer a Scientologist.

I don't know where this will lead....

It may be worth bringing up the Creed which by definition is senior to policy, and point out that in particular you are applying the two points I quote. You could perhaps later talk on how the creed is upheld in the SO, and then perhaps look at how some policy violates the creed. If you get that far you're probably home and dry.

http://www.scientology.org/world/worldeng/corp/creed.htm



For example:

"That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others; "

"That his survival depends upon himself and upon his fellows and his attainment of brotherhood with the universe."

You get so far, try this:-

http://www.geocities.com/holycows03/
 

Carmel

Crusader
Hey IKTM,

Truthfully, I'm surprised that your wife wasn't in the loop in regard to where you are at on all this, but considering that she isn't, here's my two cents:

- don't talk at her, preach to her, or try and convince her of anything
- Remember that this is about her and where she is at - not about where you are at
- first off, just listen to her and her current considerations - understand them by standing in her shoes, and don't negate them
- use suggestion (as opposed to forceful facts)
- only tell her stuff that will touch on her reality level - and point out all the tech and policy that is now so easily ignored
- whatever you do, don't come across like you know the scene, and you need her to get it
- realise that she won't have a blinding cognition and get it in one hit - if you go for that, you will lose.
- when she's up to it, use the stuff on this board like th Mike Headly clips, the Barnes' clips and find whatever else may be real from people she worked with

Step back and take it easy - if you go for it like a bull at a gate, you'll lose. You took time - let her have time too.

Good luck,
Carmel
 

Carnaubawax

Patron Meritorious
Hey IKTM,

Truthfully, I'm surprised that your wife wasn't in the loop in regard to where you are at on all this, but considering that she isn't, here's my two cents:

- don't talk at her, preach to her, or try and convince her of anything
- Remember that this is about her and where she is at - not about where you are at
- first off, just listen to her and her current considerations - understand them by standing in her shoes, and don't negate them
- use suggestion (as opposed to forceful facts)
- only tell her stuff that will touch on her reality level - and point out all the tech and policy that is now so easily ignored
- whatever you do, don't come across like you know the scene, and you need her to get it
- realise that she won't have a blinding cognition and get it in one hit - if you go for that, you will lose.
- when she's up to it, use the stuff on this board like th Mike Headly clips, the Barnes' clips and find whatever else may be real from people she worked with

Step back and take it easy - if you go for it like a bull at a gate, you'll lose. You took time - let her have time too.

Good luck,
Carmel

Or:

Just be open - hearted and make sure that she knows you love her.
 
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