HappyGirl
Gold Meritorious Patron
What C said. Only good can come of this. The force led you to tell her for a reason, so just go with the force.
The crap may have hit the fan.....
- Thread starter Iknowtoomuch
- Start date
Feral
Rogue male
IKTM,
As you know us Ozzies have made a practice of tackling this problem. I would like to offer this; When scientologists here something they don't want to here about the church they are trained to recognise it as entheta. This is false logic.
When I've been in the middle of handling someone, in that I'm getting them to see the truth about the cofs and I feel I'm losing them I have resorted to the following to get them to look;
So we have been trained to reject all such data as ENTHETA. But let's say you have a spouse who is gambling away your savings, sleeping around, and involved in seriously unethical, destructive stuff.
Now I come and tell you that they are great, they love you and mean you the very best, ( I could even put it to uptone music and show exciting stat graphs).......or I tell you what I know they were doing, even if it upsets you.
Now, which is ENTHETA? The briefing of how upstat they are which made you feel good or the true one that will actually alarm you???
Most of my brainy friends stopped resisting the data at that point and had a look.
Just in case you get to this difficult spot and need a tool.
As you know us Ozzies have made a practice of tackling this problem. I would like to offer this; When scientologists here something they don't want to here about the church they are trained to recognise it as entheta. This is false logic.
When I've been in the middle of handling someone, in that I'm getting them to see the truth about the cofs and I feel I'm losing them I have resorted to the following to get them to look;
So we have been trained to reject all such data as ENTHETA. But let's say you have a spouse who is gambling away your savings, sleeping around, and involved in seriously unethical, destructive stuff.
Now I come and tell you that they are great, they love you and mean you the very best, ( I could even put it to uptone music and show exciting stat graphs).......or I tell you what I know they were doing, even if it upsets you.
Now, which is ENTHETA? The briefing of how upstat they are which made you feel good or the true one that will actually alarm you???
Most of my brainy friends stopped resisting the data at that point and had a look.
Just in case you get to this difficult spot and need a tool.
Iknowtoomuch
Gold Meritorious Patron
Wow, thank you all for your help.
I just got off the phone with my wife. I used the caring tactic. Which is the truth.
It was short and we are going to talk about it tonight as well. Looks like she doesn't want to leave as much as I don't want to leave.
I told her I refuse to have a religion break up my marriage. And she agreed.
It's no longer a matter (at this point anyways) of showing her anything.
Looks like we're both going to have to compromise.
Mine will be she can't support the "church" at all. And her's will be that I can't go on line and talk about Scientology.
I think that's a very fair trade off.
We have to dicuss having John's book in the house.
The good thing is she wants to work it out.
I just got off the phone with my wife. I used the caring tactic. Which is the truth.
It was short and we are going to talk about it tonight as well. Looks like she doesn't want to leave as much as I don't want to leave.
I told her I refuse to have a religion break up my marriage. And she agreed.
It's no longer a matter (at this point anyways) of showing her anything.
Looks like we're both going to have to compromise.
Mine will be she can't support the "church" at all. And her's will be that I can't go on line and talk about Scientology.
I think that's a very fair trade off.
We have to dicuss having John's book in the house.
The good thing is she wants to work it out.
Carnaubawax
Patron Meritorious
It sounds like you're doing well - stay positive.
SchwimmelPuckel
Genuine Meatball
Communication is the universal solvent, however!
It's kind'a sad you two have to go into an agreement to NOT talk.. I really think you should tell her that she can have whatever opinion she want's and talk about it too. Or in other words.. Avoid being the one who hinders her comm in any way.. That rather unsavory function belongs to the CoS and noone else.
It's kind'a sad you two have to go into an agreement to NOT talk.. I really think you should tell her that she can have whatever opinion she want's and talk about it too. Or in other words.. Avoid being the one who hinders her comm in any way.. That rather unsavory function belongs to the CoS and noone else.
Terril park
Sponsor
Communication is the universal solvent, however!
It's kind'a sad you two have to go into an agreement to NOT talk.. I really think you should tell her that she can have whatever opinion she want's and talk about it too. Or in other words.. Avoid being the one who hinders her comm in any way.. That rather unsavory function belongs to the CoS and noone else.
I have to agree. Look at that point re the Creed again. Ideally you both apply this and let the other talk to anyone about anything.
Imagine a democrat married to a republican, I'm sure there are many marriages like that, they would generally both be free to talk to anyone about their political views, AND with each other.
And think about all the make up sex.
Iknowtoomuch
Gold Meritorious Patron
Thank you Snuffy.
I do totally agree. But if things have to be this way for now, I'm willing to do it as long as she also agrees to a few things.
I will definatly use Scientology to fight Scientology and use the creed.
I do totally agree. But if things have to be this way for now, I'm willing to do it as long as she also agrees to a few things.
I will definatly use Scientology to fight Scientology and use the creed.
uniquemand
Unbeliever
Ask her for help with your doubt formula. Tell her you want to do it for real. Ask her how you can get statistics from the other group if you don't look, and will she help you find accurate statistics. I'll bet that will be fruitful.
Fabian Marcabian
Patron
Really good, so far. I think it is a really important point to keep the comm line open between the two of you, though. The Co$ has no bloody business sticking their nose into husband and wife communication, of enforcing "policy" that you shouldn't communicate freely. If you can get her to agree to that, you can then discuss all the observations you both have made about Scientology and the Co$. It is a control mechanism, pure and simple - absolutely nothing to do with religion, spirituality or anything else that a Church should be involved in. See if you can get her to see this at least, then with open dialog you can find points of agreement.
EP - Ethics Particle
Gold Meritorious Patron
Unbelievable!
Looks to me like you just traded turnip greens for rabbit tracks, IKTM - or worse!
You just agreed to give her the "right of intervention" between yourself and...(fill in the blank - might as well be everything under the sun)
This is a FAR cry from "holding your position in space" - can't you see that? :confused2:
Roy/EP
Looks to me like you just traded turnip greens for rabbit tracks, IKTM - or worse!
You just agreed to give her the "right of intervention" between yourself and...(fill in the blank - might as well be everything under the sun)
This is a FAR cry from "holding your position in space" - can't you see that? :confused2:
Roy/EP
The Anabaptist Jacques
Crusader
uniquemand
Unbeliever
I think it's a fair trade to keep your marriage if she leaves the Church and you stop discussing it online. Moving forward, over time, I think it's a good move. You can't negotiate once communications are severed.
Operating Wog
Patron with Honors
Hell yeah. Let it go. You're out. She's out. Go have fun.
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