afaceinthecrowd
Gold Meritorious Patron
I discuss that briefly here http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...bard-fear-most&p=970833&viewfull=1#post970833
An excerpt from Shooting Stars, Part Twenty One where I discuss this in detail http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?21698-Shooting-Stars&p=758510&viewfull=1#post758510
There is nothing quite so desperate, frantic and crazy as a Ponzi scheme Conman when they’re “feeling the Heat”. While the move to Land brought in multi-millions of Dollars like never before, El Ron’s psychological deterioration shifted into high gear, as Hisself was no longer on “Fortress Apollo”, and the “Snow White” debacle sent Hisself into overdrive. If El Ron had truly cared one whit about Scn or Us, he woulda stepped away, stop doing and end all the crazy shit that was still putting the Cof$ at risk and in legal peril.
Hisself didn’t—Hisself did the opposite.
El Ron let slip Hisself’s Dogs of War—the CMO Children of the Corn—and initiated, guided and reveled in the Shooting of the Stars and looting of everything in sight. The Sky was wiped clean of the Brilliant Shooting Stars of Scn and will forever be dark. I don’t care how much dough or how many buildings the Cof$ has today, it will never recover from the missed opportunity, damage and destruction during that moment in time.
When I walked away from the SO around nearly 30 years ago I figured that Scn had pretty much reached its Zenith. I knew El Ron’s mental state was most assuredly growing increasingly more addled, that the Children of the Corn were now permanently in control and that the majority of the best and brightest that had built Hisself’s Empire were pretty much goners or in the process of being finished off.
Although I was not around El Ron in the latter years, I was around Hisself in the days that Hisself was, IMO, beginning to more and more “check out” for periods of time. Kima’s Narrative re: her Mad Hatter ride from KAC is indicative of what I am talking about and Cowboy’s straight shooting recent vignettes here on ESMB, continue that vein. It is my firm view that from the early ‘70’s on, and most probably earlier, El Ron incessantly and increasingly lived in a fear that grew to a terror of being “caught”—not just for Hisself’s lies, frauds and crimes but for being “Insane”. In short, I think El Ron deep, deep down inside knew Hisself was "Mad".
Not a madness, such as was wonderfully portrayed by Sean Connery as poet Samson Shillitoe in the ‘60’s Flick, A Fine Madness; or by Cary Grant as everyman overnight heir Longfellow Deeds in the ‘30’s Flick, Mr. Deeds Goes To Town; or the heroic genius mathematician Nobel Laureate John Nash, portrayed by Russel Crowe in the ’01 Flick, A Beautiful Mind.
I have no doubt that a number of the folks that made up the Inner Circle in the latter years knew full well what I and many other’s from the Apollo and SU Era knew full well—El Ron’s condition was such that if Hisself ever was deposed, cross examined or evaluated by an Expert, Hisself would come off, at best, like Humphery Bogart as Commander Queeg in the ‘50’s Flick, The Caine Mutiny. There woulda been—pathologic fidgeting and all—a “Strawberries” moment:
“Ah, but was the strawberries...that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers...” Commander Queeg to the Military Court, “The Caine Mutiny”.
Only, in the scenario in El Ron’s head and the heads of Hisself’s Demon Spawn, it would not be an empathic, sympathetic and respectful Court of Fellow Officers probing for the facts, looking for the truth and standing in judgment—it would be the eeevvvviiiilll Psychs, Gubmint and SP’s out to “get” Hisself.
Why am I so confident that a “number of the folks that made up the Inner Circle in the latter years knew full well”? Because El Ron’s behavior was all too obvious—the paranoia, the mood swings, rage, hyper obsessive/compulsive and bursts of manic franticness. Nothing was ever said outwardly but I could see me fellow Inner Circle members' eyes, their body language and hear it in their voices and how we were all always "tap dancing" whenever interacting with Hisself.
Somewhere, in the PDC IIRCC, El Ron says, “there’s a fine line between OT and Insanity.” As there is no such thing as “OT”…certainly not as El Ron defines it…I am only left with the conclusion that I finally arrived at after pondering all this, and all that I had experienced around Hisself, for years post my SO career—El Ron was walking Hisself’s own “fine line” between what Hisself singularly “saw” as “Full OT” and what Hisself singularly “saw” as “Insanity”.
I am pretty darn certain many of the Inner Circle from the latter Children of the Corn Era viewed El Ron’s behavior, demeanor and ways as being a manifestation of Hisself’s “Full OTness” that, to “lesser” beings Hisself could, at times, appear “different”, “eccentric” or even a little bit “crazy” because they were still so “aberrated”; that Folks “Lower” than themselves would not “get ‘It’”; that it was frustrating at times to be El Ron and have to deal with lesser, inferior beings all the time; that “Wogs” wouldn’t have clue about, would mistake, and misunderstand and not “see” just how “OT” Hisself truly was because, after all, even they the “Chosen One’s” couldn’t fully Grock Hisself or “IT”.
I honestly think that the forgoing was the underpinning to Hisself’s self-isolation, always on the run modus, fear of being alone in public, constant anxiety at being with anyone that is not safe yet having to always have someone with him to take care of him, be with him, protect him.
IMHO, El Ron deep down inside feared being “captured” and “handed over” to the Psychs to be “enslaved”, “F’d with” and “tortured” for “all eternity”.
And, this brings me to my final “El Ron Story”.
Face
