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The Flag Order Thread

Discussion in 'Important documents' started by Martin-O, Jul 18, 2016.

  1. Martin-O

    Martin-O Patron

    I want to start this thread with a little known and short classic: FO 832. Only for the true connoiseurs of Hubbard's musings.

  2. PirateAndBum

    PirateAndBum Gold Meritorious Patron

    All existing scilons, please report for your comm-ev. The charge: Stupidity and ignorance of your stupidity.

    Any excuses will of course be dealt with in accordance with FO 832. So please don't bother. Your only recourse is increasing your status to Patron Megalotorious Supremus in the IAS or becoming a Humongous Humanitarian with Purple Resplendent Cross-bows of a minimum of 20 Ideal Orgs. Short of that just STFU because I know YSCOHB

    Sincerely yours,

  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Priceless stupidity!

    There is another Flag Order that is closely related to that one. In it, Hubbard terminatedly rejected any excuse which claimed that something failed or couldn't be done because the party assigned to the task had no knowledge, training or education for such an endeavor.

    The Commodore, with his customary thunderous certainty and imperious contempt, stated that "...a thetan has done everything before". This immediately drew attention to the mythical trillions of years of wholetrack experience from which the goofing party should have drawn far more than enough data, knowledge and skill to have succeeded, not failed.

    In plain English: Never mind that you are neither a doctor nor a board certified neurological surgeon--when you were ordered by Ron to do brain surgery on a fellow and he died because of your gross incompetence, it's YOUR fault. Because, you have been a brain surgeon hundreds of millions of times on the wholetrack and you already know how to do everything.

    Ergo, you don't need any hatting or drilling.

    Never mind the other 150 policies and bulletins on study tech that make it a "high crime" to not do complete hatting and drilling before attempting to do anything.

    Have I mentioned the Hubbard Law of Commotion recently? LOL
  4. Martin-O

    Martin-O Patron

    That's the one:

  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Another incredibly stupid Flag Order. Almost the one I am thinking of, but it's not the same one.

    The Flag Order I am recalling quite clearly stated explicitly that "...a thetan has done everything before"--or wording very close to that.

    I should probably offer a reward to anyone who finds that F.O. Maybe a Monopoly-like card that says "GET OUT OF THE CHAIN LOCKER FREE"--that people can use when they are ordered to the chain locker.

    Reminds me...

    While sadistically terrorizing a hysterical 4 year old Danny Green by imprisoning him in the ship's chain locker, Hubbard was insisting everyone else followed his orders to have good manners and etiquette, per "Flag Order 38".
  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Another Flag Order that, once complied with, will make planetary clearing a reality. . .

  7. oneonewasaracecar

    oneonewasaracecar Gold Meritorious Patron

    The dildo rundown.
  8. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

  9. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    LOL - so funny HH!!

    This reminds me when I was grinding away for eons on NED :banghead: and the auditor asked me if there any foriegn languages on the WHOLE TRACK that I wanted to "rehab"? I said...why I would love to rehab FRENCH...cuz I was a Famous French man/woman on my FPRD Basic List.

    I got my TIP and they said it would take (this said with total certaintly and insouciant knowingness) 24 Flag Intensives....:omg: but the C/S was confident I could fully rehab French cuz my auditing was so fucking crystal clear and awesome.

    I actually considered it but thought....naw....I will use Roseta Stone (and did) and (re learned - :whistling:) French for a few hundred dollars. LOL

    Well, at least I had the total knowingness to figure that one out! Which reminds me to rehab this video again....just cuz it is so fricken funny!
  10. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    Don't overrun it.

    Ayup. Battery could go flat at a bad moment.
  11. Dave B.

    Dave B. Maximus Ultimus Mostimus

    Hubbard needs to be Comm Ev'd for flubbing Mission Earth doesn't he? He admitted he failed. Last I heard he wanted to circle a star somewhere cuz it's "therapeutic for a being" rather than going back to Galactic Central and face the music. He's A.W.O.L. evidently. Commander Elron Elray will be Private 4th class kitchen patrol when he's not polishing the latrine floor with a toothbrush.
  12. oneonewasaracecar

    oneonewasaracecar Gold Meritorious Patron

    Now we know why Xenu needed an eternal battery.

    Now we know what incident Xenu was stuck in.
  13. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    Thanks. And I always thought being stuck in an electronic incident was a bad thing. :confused2:
  14. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Let's see :coolwink:

    If I find it,
    would you offer me a gorgeous Haute Couture fushia silk vest????

  15. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    Complete with original typo that probably hasn't been corrected to this day ("assure" for "assume").

    I assume, anyway.

  16. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    This isn't a 'Flag Order', but since the thread has already descended into a discussion about dildos, rather than start a new thread in this forum, I thought I'd post this amusing document which I've just come across on the interweb.


    Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex HCO POLICY LETTER OF 15 MARCH 1966
    SH only
    Exec Secs
    ES comm HCO and Legal Officer


    No corporate address hereafter is to be Saint Hill. This includes Hubbard College of Scientology, C of S of Calif and any other corporation.
    Crawley is a little crossroads and their tax office is used to greengrocer accounts and any sum above £15,000 is a fantastic sum to Crawley. Further, Crawley's tax commissioners are East Grinstead and East Grinstead saw a £10 note once and is still talking about it.
    No large corporation should ever use a rural one horse tax office as they can't understand real business sums in such offices.
    Always use a London address and make sure you have one for all corporations.

    LRH: ml
    Copyright © 1966
    by L. Ron Hubbard


    NB: Crawley is a small town and administrative centre close to East Grinstead.
  17. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    While in in contradiction to the above although not specifying the SO, in 1967 Hubbard was writing this:


    HCO PL 6 Oct '67 Condition of Liability.

    These penalty HCO PLs included loss of pay, grey rag etc. as additional to the Conditions Formulas which still apply.

    This cancellation is contemporary with the justice discovery that crime is the direct result of a lack of a hat and training on the hat and that a hat consists of a write up, checksheet and pack fully trained in on the person. (See Personnel Series.)

    The target of Ethics is any neglect of org boarding or hatting and training an activity.

    The motto is "Hat don't hit".

    It is also part of this that I have concluded man cannot be trusted with justice.

    The cancellation of Ethics penalties does not cancel a failure to provide an org board or to hat and train juniors or personnel as a Comm Ev offence nor does this cancellation cancel Conditions Formulas. It does cancel the penalties formerly assigned and as outlined in the cancelled Penalty Policy Letters listed above.

    LRH: sb: ka

    Copyright © 1970

    by L. Ron Hubbard

  18. Martin-O

    Martin-O Patron

    The following FO defines what a "shore flap" is:



  19. Martin-O

    Martin-O Patron

    The Sea Org Swearing in Ceremony:


  20. Victoria

    Victoria Patron Meritorious

    That's how I ended up driving the staff van! Sometimes there would be over twenty people in there, and I barely knew how to drive at all. Driving on the freeway PETRIFIED me.
    I was assigned to drive the van because I was in some sort of ethics condition and asked what would really annoy or scare me. I'm not kidding!
    I said tangled cables annoy me and driving scares me.
    (I was also sent to clean the shed, which had decades of old cables tangled in it.)

    Free driving lessons I guess. Can you imagine if I'd wrecked? I mean seriously.