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The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts

Discussion in 'Books About Cults and Extracting Oneself from Coer' started by lotus, Feb 19, 2014.

  1. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

  2. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    Now I have the book and I've just begun reading it.

    GREAT book. :thumbsup: Perhaps one of the most helpful books in years for dealing with today's problems. The perspective is a thing of beauty, I love it.

    Thanks again for your recommendation. If you had a book club, I'd be following your books every month. :biggrin:
  3. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Enjoy your reading Sheila!

    (I have some other little piece of gems that have been of help on my path - Later on I may post a suggestion of a book for dealing with our shadows)

    I had to face many challenges recently - from an injury that is very much painfull to loosing a part of something I had created for years (related to gardening) and that will vanish for a reason I have no control on - I am in tears
    and must deal on a daily basis with a stalking neighbour. :melodramatic:
    (He triggers something very deep within me):unsure:

    The work I am doing with this book is truly helping me very much in these days .

    Looking forward to read your thaughts and discoveries. :)
  4. sallydannce

    sallydannce Gold Meritorious Patron


    Okay so it's Saturday night and I declined several invitations to sophisticated soirees to stay home and tunnel into my spare room. This was the kindest thing to do - the most self-compassionate path. I have no idea what I am on about. I am wired on coffee, this being the only way I could talk myself into opening the door and entering the long-avoided mess. It is a jungle in there!

    So far, I have found a box of rocks which I brought out into the living room, sat down with some more coffee and did some "rock gazing" with. These rocks rock! I am redefining procrastination, my way!

    The rocks were collected by my father. I have no idea why. Un-diagnosed aspergers? Mum kept them all these years (dad died in 1995) and now I have them. My inheritance included a box of rocks. Oh yay! Some of them are really really pretty. They glitter and shine. They are wonderful colours. Some are super smooth, some are jagged.

    I realise I'll never become spiritually enlightened sitting looking at pretty rocks. Given I am beyond desiring being "fixed" (spiritually) I'm gonna play with these rocks instead! I'm making this vintage hat (mum's hats) piece of art. I'm gonna use dad's rocks in the piece. I have up-lighting, I have vintage textiles, and now I have rocks!

    I am so tempted to get my camera out and start messing around with lighting and the rocks but I have reached my outer limits on my procrastination so back into the spare room I go...

    And the point is?

    With self-compassion creativity soars. :yes: And, I try to be kind to myself when I behave like a caffeine crazed avoidant. :happydance:

    Music to rock gaze to:
  5. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    It's funny! :biggrin:

    Talking about creativity - I agree
    Self-kindness brings in a nice ingredient - it's like giving more space in the mind to imagine, figure out, to create and it's fun!


    Why procrastination is always a recurrent problem ????
  6. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    I tried one of the concepts in the book, letting my body stay awake or asleep without fighting it or using a sleep aid.

    So I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible childhood memory - Dad had given me a drink & wet doll when I was about 5 years old. I was so excited, so happy, just loved the doll and dad for getting me the one I wanted. Mom did everything she could to take it away from me, me refusing to give it to her, and her taking it out from under my pillow on my birthday night, while I slept. I'd thought it was the only place I could keep her from taking it but I was wrong. It crushed my happiness when the doll was gone in the morning.

    A day or two later she gives me some other stupid doll, not drink & wet, no big, round, cute face, just a stupid Barbie type of doll. Used, too. I hated it. Gave it to my older brother and asked him to break its head off and destroy it. He did, showing me every thing he did to it, haircuts, markers, you name it, and I loved him for it. I love my brother.

    This time remembering it was different, because I understood something I hadn't before.

    It finally dawned on me that Mom didn't like the doll because it had a hole in the bottom front for the water to come out. She being a strict Catholic, thought that was obscene. :duh: Mom was pretty kooky when it came to religion, and lots of other things. This doll had no shape between the legs, just that hole. Even at 5 years, I knew which end the pee came out and thought this was just natural, that's what little girls like me did - drink and pee. :confused:

    Religion can make true believers do cruel things to others in the name of supporting their nonsensical religious beliefs.

    But back to the book -

    So I got through that one and doubt I'll have that nightmare again.

    As for sleep aids, I still need one at the end of the week, once a week, because the days I work, I get up at 5:30 am to start a 7 am shift on time. It's hard work, physically and mentally and I'm so exhausted but also wound up by the end of the week, that one day a week is just to recover from the other 4 days.

    I accept that once a week sleep aid. :nodding: But I also accept that it's OKAY for me to need one day a week to recover from the aged care work, and by accepting that, I actually got a lot of productive things done, anyway.

    Another concept in the book is that we take on what we can, as we can. I dived into all kinds of financial stuff that I hadn't wanted to touch, a little at a time, not pushing myself too hard. At the end, I actually got to all of it.

    Another concept in the book - one of my favourites - is that some people freeze in response to threatening or confusing situations. That's me. By taking things on just a little at a time and not pushing myself too hard, I actually unfreeze. VERY cool.
  7. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Apparently, sleep pattern may get back to normal with using this strategy. It help to ''reset'' it!

    I don't remember this part - probably ''selective memory'' :biggrin:

    I also practice many advices or exercices and take great benefit of it.
    I'll soon attempt my 3rd reading - then later on Kristen Neff.

    It help me to undoe the deep layer of cult mind conditionning and some of my education.

    Great sharing Sheila!
    The doll story seems straight from the catholic 50's!

    Thank you!
  8. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    The "freezing" as an instinctual reaction was also described by psychologist Karen Horney, btw. I also blanked out on it, funny how that can happen when it is something that really pertains to a person.

    Ahhh... not 50s, my mother was very weird. We're talkin' mid-60s. I'm not THAT old. :old:
  9. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!



    I meant

    '' int the 50's - the priests ensure our holly wholes kept hidding in the dark
    but when we born and\or grew in the 60's - 70's
    we took over the cult and change it for


    Then the holly holes had been free and found the ligth
    They were not cult slaves anymore and they could enjoy life and pleasure :biggrin:

    How about it
    Is it fixed ????
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2014
  10. Looks like a good read.
  11. chipgallo

    chipgallo Patron Meritorious

    Thanks Lotus for the tip on this book. If anything could be considered "OT" training, this would be on the list. Plus as others have said, it helps repair or alleviate issues brought about by earlier studies (cough Scientology) that could send one Appetite Over Tin Cup in a spiritual sense. At 30% on the kindle edition.
  12. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Hi there,

    Glad to read your are downloading the e-book :thumbsup:

    Have a nice journey and many discoveries abot you :wink2:

    Please don't hesitate to post any thoughts\dicoveries about it, I enjoy to read people's feedback about it!

    Ciao :wink2:
  13. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    I had an e-mail today about a Kristin Neff workshop on self-compassion.

    Since it's no woo woo but scientifically proven technics ( taught by competent psychologists professors and researchers ) I leave here a link, in the event one is interested in such Eworkshop (no cult indoctrinement or harrassement there)

    It may be of great help for anyone who would like to learn how to calm our inner critics and how to become more supportive of ourselve and enhance emotional wellbeing.

    TRUE20 is a promo code to get 20% off at check out - which make this workshop cost about 50$ US
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2016
  14. Hypatia

    Hypatia Pagan

    Oh, well, I like a bit o' woo woo sometimes as long as there isn't a megalomaniacal cult attached to it.
  15. tara willis

    tara willis New Member

    sounds like warm and fuzzy isnt enough for you , you need ooey gooey. As far from truth and sacrifice as possible. sad