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The Moment When A Choice Is Made

The Blue Dove

New Member
At the tender age of 16, I was lost, a little bit scatterbrained and most certainly unable to behave myself. (I've yet to meet a perfect teenager, you know).

But look, what's there? The Church of Scientology. For a 16 year old, a new idea cropped up that looked inviting. Personality test? Sure. IQ test? Why not. I already had a preconceived notion about the organization itself, but it was squashed quickly by their truth. While I credit them for what help was given, I can't say everything was pleasant.

Four years later, yet again I began to question what I was doing. It had cropped up before. I'd never told my friends about my religious affiliation. But when I did, they retaliated with all sorts of things. When I mentioned to the Scientologists at the org I was involved in, they asked me to disconnect. And I almost did. But then I paused and thought, "you want me to disconnect because they are speaking out against you."

After being manhandled and not allowed to leave the building, I knew something was wrong. Now after finding this place and beginning the process of getting out, it's really hard. The reason it is hard is because my treasured family member has become deeply involved to what I've called the 'point of no return'.

I'm a little lost, quite confused. But I realized today that this religion isn't for me anymore. I want to live my life again, not based on faith and belief, but based on what I know to be real and true.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Welcome Blue Dove.

You are so young, such a courageous decision! Yes, there are many, many things wrong and the moment you start to excuse them is the moment you are lost to the lies. I don't know you but I know what you are going through and for some reason I feel proud of you! So well done in taking back your life. There is so much information here, so many stories, that if you haven't already you can spend weeks reading and coming to understand the nuts and bolts of indoctrination and mind crontrol

You're not alone, so keep talking (as anonymously as you like) and I am sure that many people here can help with understanding specific issues.

:welcome:
 

The Blue Dove

New Member
Thank you tenfold. Funny, because I had recently been told to stay away from newspapers and the internet as they were dangerous.

I'm 20 now. It's time to let my life actually ... begin!

Definitely, I like you guys already. I've been reading and coming to an understanding. I've got more friends out in the world than I do in a single building in a single place.
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
At the tender age of 16, I was lost, a little bit scatterbrained and most certainly unable to behave myself. (I've yet to meet a perfect teenager, you know).

But look, what's there? The Church of Scientology. For a 16 year old, a new idea cropped up that looked inviting. Personality test? Sure. IQ test? Why not. I already had a preconceived notion about the organization itself, but it was squashed quickly by their truth. While I credit them for what help was given, I can't say everything was pleasant.

Four years later, yet again I began to question what I was doing. It had cropped up before. I'd never told my friends about my religious affiliation. But when I did, they retaliated with all sorts of things. When I mentioned to the Scientologists at the org I was involved in, they asked me to disconnect. And I almost did. But then I paused and thought, "you want me to disconnect because they are speaking out against you."

After being manhandled and not allowed to leave the building, I knew something was wrong. Now after finding this place and beginning the process of getting out, it's really hard. The reason it is hard is because my treasured family member has become deeply involved to what I've called the 'point of no return'.

I'm a little lost, quite confused. But I realized today that this religion isn't for me anymore. I want to live my life again, not based on faith and belief, but based on what I know to be real and true.

Welcome, and may you find some answers on the forum to help you through this transition.


Don't give up on that family member.... Planning things is best, no matter how frustrating it may seem.

As I have posted before... each person has to make their own choices, weigh their options, decide what is best for them. No one else can know all the factors involved in another persons decision to remain anonymous in being critical about the church. Some have had to pay a heavy price for their quick decision to leave , to speak out. Disconnection ruins families. It's a fact. Speaking out is a choice. Once done, it can be impossible for many to repair any damages not thought out and planned. The consequences are unique to each person but the end result of a rushed decision to publicly announce one's departure often includes disconnection from people we love, people we thought were friends. Sometimes the pain and suffering demand that one get out, speak out and have done with it all. But there are consequences, and they need to be considered. Don't feel pressured to do anything that would endanger your family through disconnection and put you in a position of losing your power of choice. . You know your situation best. But don't give up on that loved one.,..if you do, and leave, you could lose connection forever.

There have been quite a few recent threads my those in similar situation as you, so at the risk of not being redundant, I will refer you to those threads. Keep in mind that that there may not be similarities in some of the topic posts but the replies by members may prove to be very helpful .

Leaving The Church sticky posts
http://www.forum.exscn.net/forumdisplay.php?38-Leaving-the-Church

Convincing spouse to leave
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?35023-Convincing-spouse-to-leave

Fiona is loved.
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?14851-Fiona-is-loved

Does a marriage between a Scientologist and a Non - Scientologist work?
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...-a-Scientologist-and-a-Non-Scientologist-work

Cannot reach escape velocity
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?25559-Cannot-reach-escape-velocity

Best wishes to you!

Mary McConnell
 
Last edited:

scooter

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thank you tenfold. Funny, because I had recently been told to stay away from newspapers and the internet as they were dangerous.

I'm 20 now. It's time to let my life actually ... begin!

Definitely, I like you guys already. I've been reading and coming to an understanding. I've got more friends out in the world than I do in a single building in a single place.

:welcome:

Friends don't drop friends just because some "authority" tells them to - just saying':coolwink:

And yes, life outside the org IS dangerous - you have to think for yourself:biggrin:
 

The Blue Dove

New Member
Welcome, and may you find some answers on the forum to help you through this transition.


Don't give up on that family member.... Planning things is best, no matter how frustrating it may seem.

As I have posted bef9ore... each person has to make their own choices, weigh their options, decide what is best for them. No one else can know all the factors involved in another persons decision to remain anonymous in being critical about the church. Some have had to pay a heavy price for their quick decision to leave , to speak out. Disconnection ruins families. It's a fact. Speaking out is a choice. Once done, it can be impossible for many to repair any damages not thought out and planned. The consequences are unique to each person but the end result of a rushed decision to publicly announce one's departure often includes disconnection from people we love, people we thought were friends. Sometimes the pain and suffering demand that one get out, speak out and have done with it all. But there are consequences, and they need to be considered. Don't feel pressured to do anything that would endanger your family through disconnection and put you in a position of losing your power of choice. . You know your situation best. But don't give up on that loved one.,..if you do, and leave, you could lose connection forever.

There have been quite a few recent threads my those in similar situation as you, so at the risk of not being redundant, I will refer you to those threads. Keep in mind that that there may not be similarities in some of the topic posts but the replies by members may prove to be very helpful .

Leaving The Church sticky posts
http://www.forum.exscn.net/forumdisplay.php?38-Leaving-the-Church

Convincing spouse to leave
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?35023-Convincing-spouse-to-leave

Fiona is loved.
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?14851-Fiona-is-loved

Does a marriage between a Scientologist and a Non - Scientologist work?
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...-a-Scientologist-and-a-Non-Scientologist-work

Cannot reach escape velocity
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?25559-Cannot-reach-escape-velocity

Best wishes to you!

Mary McConnell

Plenty of thanks, Mary. I've given it some thought, and a plan is in motion. I'm establishing my stance, and working it from there. At the end of the day, the family member still has a choice. Whether it's me or them, that's up to my family member. I can't hate them for choosing what they believe to be true. And nor should they despise me for leaving.

I shall definitely take some time considering more elaboration on what to do and read what you've posted here.
 

dchoiceisalwaysrs

Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome The Blue Dove

It is great you have decided to go and remain free. :thumbsup:

Here is a link which may be helpful for you, and your family member in the longer run.

http://www.freedomofmind.com/ which starts off; Everyone deserves the right to build their own life free from undue influence, and to discover their own way to the truth.
 

Arthur Dent

Silver Meritorious Patron
Welcome Blue Dove
:welcome2:

Glad you got out before too long!!
I hope your family member sees the light soon.
 

Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
At the tender age of 16, I was lost, a little bit scatterbrained and most certainly unable to behave myself. (I've yet to meet a perfect teenager, you know).

But look, what's there? The Church of Scientology. For a 16 year old, a new idea cropped up that looked inviting. Personality test? Sure. IQ test? Why not. I already had a preconceived notion about the organization itself, but it was squashed quickly by their truth. While I credit them for what help was given, I can't say everything was pleasant.

Four years later, yet again I began to question what I was doing. It had cropped up before. I'd never told my friends about my religious affiliation. But when I did, they retaliated with all sorts of things. When I mentioned to the Scientologists at the org I was involved in, they asked me to disconnect. And I almost did. But then I paused and thought, "you want me to disconnect because they are speaking out against you."

After being manhandled and not allowed to leave the building, I knew something was wrong. Now after finding this place and beginning the process of getting out, it's really hard. The reason it is hard is because my treasured family member has become deeply involved to what I've called the 'point of no return'.

I'm a little lost, quite confused. But I realized today that this religion isn't for me anymore. I want to live my life again, not based on faith and belief, but based on what I know to be real and true.

:wave: Hi and :welcome2: Dove. Well, you have done the right thing for you, in getting out. Sometimes you have to leave people behind and make your own way. That takes courage, and you have it. There will come a day, can't say when, when your beloved family member has a nightmare wake-up call, and maybe you will be established enough on your own to lend a helping hand, something you didn't get . . . Many have come out, lost everything, including all family. They are here. Talk it out, Dove, maybe disguising who you are, changing names, dates, sexes, places, and the stories a bit, so that they don't point at you. It is OK to lie to cover your identity. Especially from a lying cult that will target you just for speaking out. Congratulations. :thumbsup: You are FREE. Have a life. LIVE. :clap:
 

smartone

My Own Boss
Welcome Blue Dove. I really enjoyed your intro post and your insight. Leave your family member to make up their own mind and I wish you all the best now you have your freedom back. :biggrin:
 

The Blue Dove

New Member
:wave: Hi and :welcome2: Dove. Well, you have done the right thing for you, in getting out. Sometimes you have to leave people behind and make your own way. That takes courage, and you have it. There will come a day, can't say when, when your beloved family member has a nightmare wake-up call, and maybe you will be established enough on your own to lend a helping hand, something you didn't get . . . Many have come out, lost everything, including all family. They are here. Talk it out, Dove, maybe disguising who you are, changing names, dates, sexes, places, and the stories a bit, so that they don't point at you. It is OK to lie to cover your identity. Especially from a lying cult that will target you just for speaking out. Congratulations. :thumbsup: You are FREE. Have a life. LIVE. :clap:


Thank you. It's easy to say 'I have my life back' but then hard to say 'where do I start'. I feel like I have to unlearn and relearn things again. I spent these past few years quoting one man's work --- now I have to use my critical thinking skills and find out what I truly enjoy and like. It's a funny feeling, being assertive now. But I've got to stand my ground. [They aren't leaving my cellphone alone...] Well I've not lost all of my family, just that one member who was seemingly saying how much they wanted me to come in yet 'respected' my decision to leave that place.
 

The Blue Dove

New Member
Welcome Blue Dove. I really enjoyed your intro post and your insight. Leave your family member to make up their own mind and I wish you all the best now you have your freedom back. :biggrin:


I most certainly will do so. Freedom of choice, having it taken away then having to gain it back is a powerful experience. Whether or not my family member will experience this, I'm not sure. But I'm me, and I know what I want. No amount of people can say otherwise!
 

Kain

New Member
I most certainly will do so. Freedom of choice, having it taken away then having to gain it back is a powerful experience. Whether or not my family member will experience this, I'm not sure. But I'm me, and I know what I want. No amount of people can say otherwise!

Exactly, miss dove. You have the freedom to do whatever you want now and you have me and the rest of your family and friends supporting you. You are headstrong and can do whatever you want with your life as long as you remember that you are not alone and that you have the freedom to ask about anything that you are confused about.

You are such a amazing person, I love you very much and I will stick by your side no matter what happens. :)

Your family member is your flesh and blood, in time she will realize the error of her ways. Don't worry.

- Your Boyfriend
 

The Blue Dove

New Member
Exactly, miss dove. You have the freedom to do whatever you want now and you have me and the rest of your family and friends supporting you. You are headstrong and can do whatever you want with your life as long as you remember that you are not alone and that you have the freedom to ask about anything that you are confused about.

You are such a amazing person, I love you very much and I will stick by your side no matter what happens. :)

Your family member is your flesh and blood, in time she will realize the error of her ways. Don't worry.

- Your Boyfriend


Well that certainly caught me by surprise. Hello honey and welcome to the forum. Thanks for supporting me through this dramatic turn of events in life. Goodness you are so sweet. I'm glad you're not one of them. ​Thanks for helping me find my way out, too.
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
Another :welcome: Blue Dove & Kain, enjoy your time here, tonnes of info/reading, and a fine bunch of folks. That you were able follow your better instincts speaks volumes on your character, though you may have some catching up to do on what is going on in the world, no worries, you're young and seem bright. Oh, and school, it is almost always worthwhile to pursue a higher education as it will open up many vistas in/for the future :coolwink:

Cheers and respect to you both!

Ogs
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
Welcome, Kain!

Dove, you both have the whole future ahead of you. Most people at age 20 have difficulty knowing where to start... there is so many choices, so keep in mind that it's normal to feel afloat on a lifeboat without any plans. At 20, life is a big adventure, a big unknown. Things change rapidly with new experiences, so go for it with a willingness to learn and grow and you will find your destination along the way.

Just beware of any cults met along the way, lol
 
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