The Moment You Leave

Wisened One

Crusader
The Moment You Leave.

This is for Staff/SO who have actually blown, but Public will gain benefit as well.

(Hit refresh before reading, I'm constantly editing/adding)

The actual moment you've made your escape from Scientology, whether it was by blowing (literally escaping and running physcially away from your room, Org,etc.)
by routing out standardly, or by being offloaded, I (and other caring ex-staff/SO) have written this for you.

Print this out and use it as often as possible until you have destim'd (calmed down) from what you have just experienced and done.

1) :hug: Whew! You've left now (no matter the means).
You've done it, you're OUT, you're FREE! :happydance:

At this moment, you are just GLAD you are SAFE, AWAY from your
room, your Org, Advanced Org, etc.
That means that you can do WHATEVER you feel like,
AT THIS VERY MOMENT! :ohmy:

Get that adrenaline pumping through your veins to slow down.
Quiet your pounding heart.
Now find a private, quiet place where you can sit down and
take Three verrrry deeep slow breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth.
Take more breaths as needed until you feel calmer and your mind isn't racing.
There.
Now how do you feel? :)

Are you hungry? If you have some money right now and/or are with non-scn loved ones, you can EAT, and do me a favor: take your time EATING GOOD FOOD and make sure to order DESSERT, treat yourself,
you brave person! :)

Sleepy? You can go be by yourself in a nice room and SLEEEEP for as LOOOONG as you want!! (at least for a day or so)

Lonely? You can actually RELAAAX and talk with a loved one, friend, hell, even a damn stranger feels good to talk to at this point!
Do it, it will feel sooooo good to just be able to 'shoot the breeze' (even about your escape!) and NOT have to talk about Scientology/Dianetics,
Stats, etc!

2) If you have blown, you must be feeling scared at what you've done! I know I did! But you know what? IT IS OK TO LEAVE THIS WAY!!!! :yes:
Do NOT-I repeat-DO NOT FEEL GUILT that you have left this way! :no:
You are NOT an out-ethics scumbag who has left an
upstat organization helping to free every living thetan on this planet! :no:

And when your door is knocked on, when your phone rings, DO NOT ANSWER THEM!!!! :no: :no:

You have JUST ESCAPED for a REASON and you MUST keep in mind WHY you had to RESORT TO THIS!!!!
You have been seriously overworked, you are tired, you are hungry, you can't even think your OWN THOUGHTS
anymore!

You have noted MANY, MANY outnesses on your Post and in your Orgs.

Your Public are not winning as much as they should be.

Your fellow Staff/SO Members are producing their ASSES off, yet you are still in lowers, RPF, etc.

So Keep breathing, walking, eating, talking to safe terminals (non-scn).

Give permission to yourself to be KIND to yourself! You are NOT in ANY trouble!

RIght now, you will not agree with this, but TRUST me, you WILL in time!

If/When you are chased, followed, hounded, called to come back on staff (even if is to route off standardly) DO NOT DO THIS! (If you really
feel you must, remember you are going to have TONS of pointless ETHICS cycles, your fellow staff/SO members walking far away from you, shaking
their heads in disgust at you, verbally shunning you, Ethics terminals yelling at you, etc! And you know what? THAT'S ALL YOU WILL
HAVE ACCOMPLISHED by routing off 'standardly' !

3) Now that you have taken your deep breaths, I want you to go outside (if you can) and take a LONG WALK! Do touch Locationals
if you need to, to orient yourself and calm yourself down.


4) Find/be with family/friends that are NOT Scientologists ASAP!!! Now I KNOW this is going to be weird for you! You've been indoctrinated
for so long that anyone who is not a Scientologist is a 'wog' and they are 'beneath' you and wouldn't understand you and what you have just done
etc,etc.. but FIND SOMEONE you can feel at least semi-calm and comfortable with and TALK to them and really listen to them!
They may not know or even care about what you've been through..but doing this will help you greatly! Then, as time goes on and you can start sorting
out who you really are, what you want to do next is to learn how to use and go on the Internet. Learn the TRUTH of how MANY others have left and
are flourishing and prospering! Start at this wonderful, kind caring site: http://www.forum.exscn.net READ. You will find many of your friends there, I bet!:)

5) Ok, repeat the above steps for the next few hours/days/weeks/months until you feel generally calmer, and can actually THINK for yourself
on what you want to do to re-orient yourself in life again. Lean on non-scn family/friends.

6) Once you are past the above steps, you'll need to get your own place to live (or room with someone), find a way of making money.
You'll LOVE working jobs out here, you make MUCH better money (in general) than you ever did on Staff/SO.


7) And FOOD! There are sooooo many food choices!
Enjoy the wide range that is available to you!
Eat healthy, start getting exercise, take vitamins, these steps will help keep your mind focused on adjusting to life, and attaining your goals.


8) Start LAUGHING as often as possible! :dieslaughing:This may be foreign for you especially at this stage of your life, but trust me, it will help, and you will find your shoulders relaxing, your back muscles will be less tense, you will be able to breathe deeper more often...as a result of FUN in your life!
Go out and see movies, go dancing, maybe even have an alcoholic drink! :gasp: :coolwink: NOTHING will happen to you if you do any of these things!


9) Now. Once you've been gone a while, you may start receiving bills in the mail/weekly calls on paying your FreeLoader's Debt.

DO NOT PAY IT!

THINK about this! When you read that policy, does THAT definition FIT YOU?! HOW many YEARS have you worked your ASS off for them?
Believe me, whatever Auditing/Training you have received, you've already earned it! :yes:



This is a very rough draft...I'm still adding/editing this but I wanted to share what I've got so far to help someone out there who finds themselves blown (or about to). I've used the lingo/some tech on purpose, as most likely the newly-blown will still identify with this.

PLEASE add your steps/suggestions everyone! I'm thinking things for the Staff/SO member in the moments, hours and days after they've blown...what would help them?

Look forward to reading 'em! :yes:

Michelle
 
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klidov

Silver Meritorious Patron
May I Make Copies Of This....?

If I go to a demonstration, I would like to hand out copies of this. I will remove your name (or anything that could ID you).

This is so well-said. My cult was a different one, but I completely understand everything you said here.

Talking to non-members, eating (or drinking) whatever I wanted. Not having hours & hours dedicated to church functions. The freedom to watch, or read whatever I wanted....:yes:

The feeling that I was FREE. Like a weight had been taken off of my shoulders.

:thumbsup:
 

tookmeawhile

Patron with Honors
Great idea, Michelle. Handing these out somehow to staff members would be great. You can also look for people at Tampa and LAX Airports who look hunted, extremely sad or confused and give this to them. There's a good chance they're Scientologists. LOL

I would add that they do not have to pay back their freeloader bill - ever - if they don't want to.

Also, if they really still want the bridge they can find a MORE standard one out in the field once they are ready to look. I feel I have a lot more integrity in myself having left the Co$ than when I was in it - by a long shot! I don't know where I stand on doing more bridge but I do take comfort in knowing the bridge is available and leaving Co$ has actually made it more possible than ever if that's what I really want. Much cheaper, more streamline and better tech as far as I understand.

That there are PLENTY of ex-scientologists that will listen and totally understand and be willing to help at this website. Also, you may want to use Emma's new website; www.exscn.net. They can remember it easier, too.
 

Wisened One

Crusader
Yeah, GOOD POINT about adding they do NOT need to pay their FL Debts back, I'll add that in, thanks!


Keep 'em coming, guys!
 

Wisened One

Crusader
If I go to a demonstration, I would like to hand out copies of this. I will remove your name (or anything that could ID you).

This is so well-said. My cult was a different one, but I completely understand everything you said here.

Talking to non-members, eating (or drinking) whatever I wanted. Not having hours & hours dedicated to church functions. The freedom to watch, or read whatever I wanted....:yes:

The feeling that I was FREE. Like a weight had been taken off of my shoulders.

:thumbsup:

Please do so! It IS in a very rough draft/sloppy form at the moment though...but if you don't mind!:) I HOPE this helps someone out there who wants to leave or has just left!
 

Escalus

Patron Meritorious
REMEMBER what you were doing or had plans to do BEFORE you dropped it to do Scientology. That's the direction your happiness was in. Get back to that spot and pick it up.
 

Neo

Silver Meritorious Patron
Good post Wisened One :)

I blew staff at the end of April. Was only on staff one day per week by this time due to health reasons. I wanted off staff to completely handle my health concerns. The E/O wanted to complicate the issue by putting me through auditing rundowns so that I would eventually be eligible for the leaving staff sec check, when prior to telling them I wanted out, they could never find the time or auditors to help me (or I had to pay for it). Their solutions were unacceptable to me. As I had no intentions of ever doing Scientology again, I decided to just not return.

I wrote a letter to E/O and DSA, and politely but firmly let them know to let me be.

It was a difficult time, because it requires such a monumental change in circumstances. I knew I would lose all my Scientology friends. I would lose my job, and therefore my income.

Now I have found solutions to these, and implemented them - I found new friends; especially here at this board :) . I started my own business, which is going very well.

And to let the Cult know I don't take kindly to being lied to to such an extent, especially given the health concerns I was dealing with, I put together a little presentation, with the help of my good friends at Today Tonight, to expose the issue of child labour abuse at my old org. This is probably going further than most people will go, but I just highlight it to show that one can move on from the cult, and regain their life, their courage, their integrity, etc.

Neo
 
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Carmel

Crusader
Children

Nice "memo" Michelle. When I left (many years ago), a supportive comm like this would have helped (they were lonely times).

Suggested addition - for parents:

- Enjoy your children. Let go of any feeling of inval for having them and contributing to them. "Have" them and contribute to them as much as your heart desires, and marvel in the rewards for doing so. Make up for lost time and indulge in the wonders of parenthood and children. Feel proud of their creation (not downstat), and revel in the joy they will give you, and in the joy you will give eachother.

Cheers,
SNC
 

thetanic

Gold Meritorious Patron
Also:

No matter how strange you think your story is, how different than everyone else's, and how ashamed you may be of parts of it -- there are other people who shared similar, or identical, experiences.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Also:

No matter how strange you think your story is, how different than everyone else's, and how ashamed you may be of parts of it -- there are other people who shared similar, or identical, experiences.

Yes, that indeed is the wonderful thing to find out. :)
 
Know that it is okay to not communicate if you choose to do so. As you destimulate, you will eventually want to communicate...but there is no hurry...do it when YOU are ready. You will know when that time comes...it will be a natural occurrence.

I found it difficult to communicate to non Scientologists about my experience. :confused2: When I thought I was ready, I'd formulate the thought and realize how crazy it all sounded. :omg:

I spent a lot of time being interested in others and finding out what normal people do. Eventually I was able to establish an acceptable way of communicating without sounding like I was a whack job, myself. And then, I only gave little doses of "my story" because it really was too out reality for them.

This was terribly important when it came time for getting a job, when all of my work experience was somehow connected to an organization or Scientology group. I had to find a way to show my skills without them contacting my references...and at the same time, have an acceptable reason as to why I did not want my references contacted. Taking a bit of time to organize your thoughts can result in a big payoff. In my case, I applied for an entry level position and was offered an executive position...without verifying my work history...despite giving a homeless shelter as my address. :thumbsup:

You have way more to offer than you have been given credit for. As long as you keep your integrity in, you will succeed in anything you set out to do.

Surround yourself with caring, positive people.
 

Infinite

Troublesome Internet Fringe Dweller
..

The first thing to do is leap for joy! Also, avoid Scientology and, what ever you do, stay off the cans. Consuming more of what ails you cannot cure you. Ever. If you're not coping with the withdrawal, seek professional help from a formally trained, licensed therapist, ideally one with experience in dealing with people who have left cults. Its vital that you stop thinking and speaking using Scientology words and concepts. For example, do not blame yourself by dwelling on ideas like you are an SP/PTS failure doomed for eternity. Such negative introspection is a large part of the L Ron Hubbard implant used to keep people close to the Kool Aid and suffering. Remember you are not alone. Thousands have come before you and, by far, the majority thrive once Scientology's shackles of the mind have been dissolved.
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
When you have walked out of the building for the last time, be somewhere else. Go somewhere that is unlikely to have been or to be disclosed to the org. It is essential that you frustrate their efforts to "salvage" you, particularly during your first few days of coming to terms with reality--even if you drive to a camping spot and sleep in the car for a few days. You can get out and walk on real dirt and grass!

If you do go to family, make sure they are trained to say, "No, we haven't seen him since (whatever works best for you)" to anyone ringing or knocking on the door. You have vanished. No one knows where you have gone. If you do have a car that could be recognised, ask someone to park it elsewhere.

There are two "moments" when you leave:
1. The decision while still inside that you are going to walk out;
2. The decision once outside that you are not going back.

#2 is the toughest while you are still vulnerable to "recovery" actions. That is why you want to be out of circulation for at least a week or, in my case, a month.

If you've been inside long enough, it takes all the commitment that has been demanded of you to ensure that you then stay on the outside.
 
When you have walked out of the building for the last time, be somewhere else. Go somewhere that is unlikely to have been or to be disclosed to the org.

If you do go to family, make sure they are trained to say, "No, we haven't seen him since (whatever works best for you)" to anyone ringing or knocking on the door. You have vanished. No one knows where you have gone. If you do have a car that could be recognized, ask someone to park it elsewhere.


Yes!! Both of these paragraphs are MUST Do actions.

I have used both...very successfully.
 
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