The Perils of Starting a 2D in an Org

onthepes

Patron with Honors
So I was getting into quite a mood at this point. It seems that everyone here has a story to tell about the helplessness of being up against the tyranny in Scientology. The times you had nowhere to go. The times that if you said anything, who would listen??

But I was determined to get Z back and also was shit-scared of having my spiritual freedom shackled. I was in the middle of Book and Bottle. For all of the ugliness of the situation I had 5 good wins on Objectives. I saw my twin through. Major. We did 15 hours a week. The Sup at the time (who spoke bullshit like a true Scientologist) said the cycle would take a couple of months. WTF. I have NEVER seen that. It took us 10 months. He attested practically on January 2nd 2007.
2 - I think I EP'd early. I was sitting at work and felt like I was totally there. Like I was actually in Present time. That would have been find to end off there.
3 - My grip got better. My hands were like a vice. That was cool.
4- I went exterior on Start, Change, Stop on a Body (that was epic to me)
5 - I got off enormous grief on an additional process at the end.

So I was doing Book and Bottle. At the end of the night, the ED said to me "So you are going to flow to your next Bridge action?". I was gobsmacked. Z had advised me she would deliver this for free. I said "Ummm, what???"
she repeated. I said "Z said she was going to deliver this to me".
The ED introverted and said "OH, Best take it up with her".
I was fucking furious.

Next night I was in session. I made a mistake. I'm human okay?? I was not even doing the process. I turned to my auditor and said "I just had a realization". He said "Oh what was that?" nice ack actually. I said "well, people make promises in this world and then they don't live up to them. I guess they are not your true friends".
This was covert and I knew it would go in my folder. I Red Tagged.

Lo and behold. The next night . The Sup gets me on the cans. "Do you have an overt on Z". I coughed up the overt as what I said in session. I F/N'd. I wrote a letter of apology to Z. Funny how she was not communicating and I was having my overts pulled. She did not reply. I was sent to Ethics. I was told by the E/O that I was not to have anything to do with Z. I basically had not for the last 6 months. I told the E/O that and she kept cutting my comm. I told her what was promised to me. It did not matter. All that mattered was what I said in session. Z would never be handled. I was made to write up that I would leave Z alone. The whole business of being offered the Drug Rundown for free was not-ised. The fact that Z ended the relationship and was out of comm was not-ised. I was on a hiding to nothing.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
My PC had red-tagged a few times having to re-establish his wins. The Sups and C/S knew it was difficult to get my PC in comm. They wanted me to ask 'what's happening" a bit more than usual. I did this. The PC just got suspicious.

He became increasingly nattery. His folder had gone missing (Scientology at its best). It had been gone for 6 weeks. Even at that point he had had 50 more hours auditing than me. He was whinging and he basically stonewalled. We had a bit of a spat. I was not complaining about the hours I was auditing at all. It was tough but I had on my auditor's hat and kept going. When my PC had to do some auditing he spat the dummy.

There was a lot of tension. I'm afraid Z was sent in to handle it. She said the Ethics Officer was away and that she had to fill in. She said "Now, I hear there is bitching about hours being audited" I said "well, my PC was the one...." She said "I DON'T CARE YOU BOTH BETTER GET YOUR ETHICS IN". This guy was causing all manner of shit but here was Z putting it on to both of us. All of this to "toughen me up".

The PC and I kissed and made up....not figuratively. However, it left a sour taste, and again I was not allowed to communicate. For an Organization that has wet dreams about communication , our Org was woeful at it. DEV-T, important details not passed on, comm cut, big shit not confronted. Wow.

The only thing that was keeping me there, was to try and become more able, and hopefully get back with Z. I was feeling not so well, my relationships with 2 of my boys were not quite the same. I was not "there" for people. My attention was on Z consistently. But I had to hold all of that in.

Near the end of Objectives, my PC developed some strange skin condition. He was quite self conscious and did not want to come in. He stonewalled again for about 3 weeks. Suddenly I was looking like the good guy. People were frantically trying to handle my twin, including me. Eventually he came in. As I was auditing him I noticed a blemish on his neck about he size of a 5 cent piece. This was the reason he did not want to come in for his Objectives.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
Okay. So my PC was on Book and Bottle. I was knackered. I had been auditing him for about 7 weeks as I had finished. He started to bullbait. He turned and said "This is the worst auditing. I cannot be in session with this". Rather than TR3, I said "Excuse me. Oh, I'll take a note of that". The session went to shit. Out TR3 and Bullbait via me. I was beside myself. I knew I went out on the comm cycle, but my PC was being an almighty prick and I just wanted it to end.

The next day, I said I did not want to come in, that I was sick. The sup called us both in. I broke down in tears. Z called me in and was reasonably nice to me. She could see it had been tough. She did however say "You have got to stop being a victim". This is again, where she epitomised Scientology to me.

We had both finished Objectives. I was relieved and had a couple of weeks off. Quite self-satisfied. I considered getting back with Z. It had been 10 months since we split. It should not have happened. I called the E/O and ran it by her. She said "Not a good idea". She was nice enough. I actually liked the E/O a lot but she was totally under the influence of Z. She told me not to call Z , but she will run it by her.

A couple of days later the E/O called me into the Org. She sat me down in her office and told me that Z had no interest in getting back with me and she did not want any comm from me. I had not spoken except as per my Auditor's hat to her in 9 months. It was fucking stupid. I was livid. However, I told the E/O that I would promise not to initiate any communication with Z. The E/O said "Yes, you have said that before". YOu see , god knows what Z was telling her. It saddened me that the E/O and I were once friends but that had gone to shit as well. I would have been getting some horrid 3rd party and it would have been lies.

She said "Z was going to talk to you about your wishes to get back with her. But she is out at the moment. I will tell her what you said and leave it at that". I said okay and walked off. At least I knew where I stood and felt a little better. It was not what I wanted but I had an answer. We all love our answers.

I got 50 yards up the road when the E/O called me on my mobile and said "Z is here now. She wants to talk to you". I turned around. I wish I hadn't.........
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
I got into the Org. The E/O escorted me into Z's office. The E/O was in there with me waiting for Z. Z stormed in. Please note at this time I had barely spoken in the last 9 months . Only about 3 times briefly. She says "I understand you have some attention on me as a 2d. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN". Then she got increasingly aggressive. "YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE. YOU ARE STUCK ON THE TRACK. YOU NEED TO MOVE ON. YOU NEED TO AS-IS". Unfortunately I had borrowed a book of hers when we were going out. It was Scientology Ethics. We were breaking up and I put a note in there in the Justifications section which was about her. Stupidly, I had forgotten this, and the fact that she wanted it back. I totally forgot and it was more a poor sense of property than anything else. She looked daggers at me and said "I AM PISSED AT YOU. YOU WROTE IN MY ETHICS BOOK". She told me what I wrote . I tried to explain that I was not thinking on her seeing it, which was true. She just yelled at me "THAT'S BULLSHIT". I want a new copy. At that point they were the old edition that cost $110.00. She then said "All that aside, you are a very good auditor, you are going to make it. I have no doubts about that". She had seen this and I know that others had been telling her. I had done a great job for my PC. I was proud.
The meeting was awful. She tore me a new asshole. All because I wanted to get back with her.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
3 months later . I had not talked to Z. I was doing pretty well though. I had been on PTS/SP and was having some wins. A lot were about her being an SP which was funny. She did get declared later on.

I was on my way home from course. I had a text. It was Z. "What are you doing after course?" I called her and said "nothing". It was 10pm on a Friday night . It was her birthday and she had a few drinks. She asked if I wanted to come over. I said "sure".

We drank and got a lot off our chests. I was able to tell her that it was not okay that she cut my comm. She then freely admitted she got back with her 2d for "a couple of roots". This was the same guy who she said she had "nil interest" in. She told me that he thought it was a bad idea to keep seeing each other again and called it off. We had a nice night. She texted me the next day and said she is glad we could be friends.

I then asked if she wanted to get together again. She said "sure". Then she kept saying "I'm busy....next week...in a fortnight". More confusion. We had a fight and again we were not talking. In July she called me in to her office and told me she had a 2d. She apologized for restimulating me on her birthday.

We reap what we sow in some aspects. I have communicated with people before and then strangely not communicated, which probably confused them. I have done that on a number of occassions. I never expected any of this from a senior terminal in the Org.

I bumped into her about 2 years later. She had been in to the Org about 3 times. She had to come in for a cycle. She was in the kitchen. I thought I would be nice and say hello. She ignored. I said hello again. She said "Whatever". I said "well i just thought it would be nice to chat". she had a hissy fit. "IT ALWAYS BLOWS UP IN MY FACE". The next day I had a letter of disconnection in my comm box.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
a bit over 4 years had gone by. I was not the same jovial character. Life was serious . I was quite rude to my loving mother. I found a lot of faults with people. I did not like myself.

The Senior C/S Chief was up from Sydney. She pulled me into an auditing room. She said "This has never gone away for you has it? It looks like the only advice you have had is write up your O/Ws. You have been in heavy grief and nobody has helped you". It was the nicest thing that had been said. She was quite insightful. She did a C/S of my folder and within 2 months I was getting a NED Assist for Grief.

This cycle was really nice. I handled the situation terminally and felt much better. I went back to my Org and was good as gold. Eventually I routed off staff and looked forward to a "normal" life.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
About 4 months ago I ran into Z. She was working in the same building FFS. I was happy to not see her again. We kept bumping into each other. I did not really want to. For me, that was a good sign. I had no interest any more. Not since the NED. I knew she was declared. She had publicly expressed her upset with the current DM Management on the Internet. It was a good letter actually. She got declared. She told me she never received the Declare. That is odd isn't it. How people know others are declared but the declared person does not know it. I felt fine with her. We had a laugh. I told her I had been on the Internet doing my research. She was glad I was "out". She said "Give me your e-mail address and I will send you a few good links". I said "Cool". I gave her my e-mail address and told her that when she sends me an e-mail I will give her my story on Flag. She said she would look forward to that.

That was 3 months ago and I have not heard back since.

Same shit different day. Probably a good catch-cry for Scientology.
 

ryanmac

New Civilisation Builder
a bit over 4 years had gone by. I was not the same jovial character. Life was serious . I was quite rude to my loving mother. I found a lot of faults with people. I did not like myself.

The Senior C/S Chief was up from Sydney. She pulled me into an auditing room. She said "This has never gone away for you has it? It looks like the only advice you have had is write up your O/Ws. You have been in heavy grief and nobody has helped you". It was the nicest thing that had been said. She was quite insightful. She did a C/S of my folder and within 2 months I was getting a NED Assist for Grief.

This cycle was really nice. I handled the situation terminally and felt much better. I went back to my Org and was good as gold. Eventually I routed off staff and looked forward to a "normal" life.

I wonder if this is the same senior c/s chief I met with.. stephanie?
 

Div6

Crusader
About 4 months ago I ran into Z. She was working in the same building FFS. I was happy to not see her again. We kept bumping into each other. I did not really want to. For me, that was a good sign. I had no interest any more. Not since the NED. I knew she was declared. She had publicly expressed her upset with the current DM Management on the Internet. It was a good letter actually. She got declared. She told me she never received the Declare. That is odd isn't it. How people know others are declared but the declared person does not know it. I felt fine with her. We had a laugh. I told her I had been on the Internet doing my research. She was glad I was "out". She said "Give me your e-mail address and I will send you a few good links". I said "Cool". I gave her my e-mail address and told her that when she sends me an e-mail I will give her my story on Flag. She said she would look forward to that.

That was 3 months ago and I have not heard back since.

Same shit different day. Probably a good catch-cry for Scientology.

Take Scientology out of the equation, and sounds like a normal garden-variety 2-D experience...thank your lucky stars someone was sane enough to help you out.....that is a rarity these days.


[video=youtube;auDv6cf2PBM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auDv6cf2PBM[/video]
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
Anyways, that is my story. That was the darkest time of my life. To Z - I don't mind if I never run into you again. That would be fine. You are probably a better person having left Scientology. I wish you well.

To my PC - I can only send a thought your way as you are no longer in the body I knew you were in. I hope you found your peace.

To the Org Staff - I wish you no harm. I love you guys. I just don't love Scientology.

So, my happy ending? I never ended up with Z. Best for both of us. I never got stuck at Flag. I got out properly.

The biggest thing is I am no longer that pussy. There is no way in hell I would sit in front of a lady and start bawling. I would not take the crap off anyone anymore, that I took off her. There have been many situations where someone was trying to make me wrong, to make themselves look better, and I said my peace right there and then.
My next 2d will be spectacular. I am more aware of scams.

In present time, I weigh 84 kg. That is 7kg more than I want. However it is mostly muscle and I don't have a gut. I go to the gym. I exercise most days of the week. I have been out of work for a month but I am not poor. I have a tan. I like people again. I like being on here. It's fun. I like people more.

I somehow audited an illegal pc through 250 hours of hell and personal grief.

There were things that I despised in Scientology . For all that, I have walked away a little taller. It still seems a strange way to gain height.

THANKS FOR LISTENING :love8:
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
:)

Whew what a ride! Again, thank you for your courage. Courage really is telling one's story, from the heart, pushing through the vulnerability. You do this with true dignity. I thank you.

I hope this may help soothe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsZTVSY5PdA


Thanks Heaps, Sallydance. What a nice song. I listened all the way through. Great sound. I want to get that one on my surround sound. Even stereo is cool. I need that stuff for when I am doing my stretches xox
 

Opter

Silver Meritorious Patron
Anyways, that is my story. That was the darkest time of my life. To Z - I don't mind if I never run into you again. That would be fine. You are probably a better person having left Scientology. I wish you well.

To my PC - I can only send a thought your way as you are no longer in the body I knew you were in. I hope you found your peace.

To the Org Staff - I wish you no harm. I love you guys. I just don't love Scientology.

So, my happy ending? I never ended up with Z. Best for both of us. I never got stuck at Flag. I got out properly.

The biggest thing is I am no longer that pussy. There is no way in hell I would sit in front of a lady and start bawling. I would not take the crap off anyone anymore, that I took off her. There have been many situations where someone was trying to make me wrong, to make themselves look better, and I said my peace right there and then.
My next 2d will be spectacular. I am more aware of scams.

In present time, I weigh 84 kg. That is 7kg more than I want. However it is mostly muscle and I don't have a gut. I go to the gym. I exercise most days of the week. I have been out of work for a month but I am not poor. I have a tan. I like people again. I like being on here. It's fun. I like people more.

I somehow audited an illegal pc through 250 hours of hell and personal grief.

There were things that I despised in Scientology . For all that, I have walked away a little taller. It still seems a strange way to gain height.

THANKS FOR LISTENING :love8:





:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:








Thank you for your story.





Opter
 

GoNuclear

Gold Meritorious Patron
must continue. So here I was at the start of Objectives. I was in heavy grief and felt little ARC for my twin. At that point , I could not tell anyone, I wanted to do myself in. It was that dark. I began to chain smoke from the start of morning until I went to bed. I was not drinking alcohol. My life was work, and then Objectives. No fun. I went from 76kg to 62kg in a few months. My face was gaunt.

Yup, sounds like you were definitely becoming a true Scientologist, especially the chain smoking. But that's a flunk if you were buying your own cigarettes. A true-blue, dedicated glare, KSW Scientologist can easily maintain a 3 pack a day habit by mooching off of public, particularly div 6 public, not to mention WOG's. After awhile, with great TR-M (m for mooch) your publics and WOG's will put cigarettes in your mouth and even light them with you making just the slightest of jestures, no need to verbally ask. Chalk it up to projection of intention, not to mention being broke all the time, while still being charming enough for all your aquaintences to keep you in smokes. Of course, brand preference is just one of those considerations you have to toss under the bus.

Anyways, since you are going on and on about your mokkuppatoodee adventure in the Kingdom of Clamdom, I will toss a parody at you that I previously posted on here. This one was actually picked up on and recorded by someone one here.

I will post both the lyrics and the youtube link:


Scilon Love, tune of Muskrat Love
(apologies to Alan Ramsey and to the Captain and Tenile)

Scilons, Scilons, what a sight,
Tryin’ so hard to make it go right,
And the reason,
Need 2D’s for pleasin’.

Scilon Susie, Scilon Sam,
Look for A-R-C out in Scilon land.
Her face is fuzzy,
Sammy’s teeth are skuzzy.

Yeah, they’re makin’ postulates go “Bingo!”
Two-way comm’n in Scilon lingo,
Breakin’ all the rules from above,
It looks like Scilon love …

With loins on fire, and mind full of sleaze,
Sammy says to Suzie,
“Honey, would you please, be my 2D?”
And she says yes, and gives up the booty …

And now he’s ticklin’ her fancy,
‘Poonin’ camel toe,
Soon straight to ethics, there both gonna go,
To K-R each other, and then seek another.

Yeah, they made their postulates go “Bingo!”
And they two-way comm’d in Scilon lingo,
But they couldn’t dodge the flak from above,
And so goes Scilon love …

La da da da da ---



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVMgBw-C8HQ

Pete
 
Thanks for sharing your story, OTPES... glad to hear that you are doing better now.

Wow...what stands out for me most is two students, twinning, who are both suicidal, and no one notices, no one intervenes, no one helps...

One survives, barely, by the skin of his teeth, through no thanks to his COS members, and one does not. :bigcry:

I bloody HATE Scientology! :angry: What Scientologists do to people by messing with their minds and emotions is just as bad and HARMFUL as practicing medicine without a license! :grouch:

Big hugs to you, OnThePES, for surviving! :thumbsup:
 

GoNuclear

Gold Meritorious Patron
I had an instinct about not getting involved with anyone in Scientology when I was in ... not at the San Franciso org, but at the mission in Groton, CT when I was there. It was too damn small, and the mission ED had this control thing about the mokkuppatoodee business, so I always kept any play away from the mission.

There was this one gal who was on staff there, kinda sorta ... part time I think, or perhaps not on staff all that long, but she was more or less there in some capacity for some time. I took her out once, not as a date, but for some reason circumstance had us hanging out that day. She had zero experience drinking, and that was something I didn't know. So she ordered a full carafe of wine at this restaurant we were at. Then I took her back to my place. She was drunk, dizzy, and puked. I had to clean it up. She was frightened and confused at being drunk and dizzy, and I had to hold her all night long, and no, I didn't get "the bonus plan" as the saying goes.

In the morning, was she ever embarassed. I saw this as a non event, she simply had a bit too much to drink and had no experience with alchohol. This chick was trippy ... extremely perceptive about certain things while at the same time being completely ignorant of some of the things most of us would consider to be total common sense. But I was called into the ED's office, and this gal was there, and had to blurt out all about how she wasn't trying to mokkuppatoodee, etc. I already figured that out ... she simply got drunk. Anyways, if I ever had any idea about doing anything with any chick at the mission, that certainly disabused me of that idea. Actually, it was more in the way of affirming to me that my instincts were right, it wasn't a good idea to get involved with anyone there.

Pete
 
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