The Pity Play - Tipoff Play of Sociopath


Patron Meritorious
I'm giving this post a bump because I have had and still have such an individual in my life and to have had more than one, made me realise that there was some work that I needed to do on myself.

One common characteristic is the role play; they can be very nice and caring one moment but can become incredibly vicious. I might be thinking more of NPD, HPD, BPD. This splitting of personality is what makes it hard for people to leave them. They do the same on other people and when someone who flatters them more (or does not know them so well) comes along, they may turn a current contact into the "bad person" (especially if they question them, don't enable them, or try to withdraw or are simply too nice and/or naïve). Once their supply becomes exhausted, more attention seeking behaviour may be exhibited.

I remember at a time when I needed help, someone listened to me and gave me the time and it really changed me for the better. I've thought having that attitude would work with the people above and that by abandoning them I was only playing into the psychological mechanism that worry's them so much. What all "these" people have in common (from my experiences, but correct me if I'm wrong) is their lack of time to focus on the needs of others. Comments such as; "I get rid of people if I think they have issues" or "Such and such is needy". In reality it is they who are needy and who try and introvert their victim into negating their needs and becoming "supply" for the disordered person. Don't feel guilty for having needs or problems, but be sensible and handle them and don't allow your vulnerabilities to be exploited!


Patron Meritorious
^^^^ Great insight! (Describes someone I used to be close to.) Thanks.


same here.

Well, I think this thread could be really helpful to people, especially those in, or recovering from an abusive relationship, so I added my two cents to the conversation and I'm glad my comments were useful. It's been really useful for me to read others thoughts and experiences.

We need to make sure we work on ourselves and stay alert to this behaviour to not be sucked in again.


Patron Meritorious
I just found this;

Ironically the person who I still know claims that her last three ex's are psycho's and has smeared them. Has also smeared a religious leader she fell out with, several family members and on and on. Is it possible for one person to have known so many psycho's unless they have a disorder or a co-dependency issue? Her victims were easy to smear as they had character and personality traits that made them stand out; one was socially awkward and highly academic, another had learning problems and the third was besotted with her. Seeing this, made me realise that a lot of victims are *not* bad people, just have obvious characteristics that separate them out from others.

I remember very distinctly after two of her break-ups she said in a very hollow voice "I can't stand to be alone" and wanted me to stay over.

Same goes for Scientology. You've all seen me get mad with the Freezone on this forum. I'm starting to learn that it's not worth it. Not only was I conned and believed in the con, but trying to make people care about something is pointless. It's important that many of you care about what's happened for your own sake. I believed the con was something that it's not which is why it seemed so wonderful for me. When the curtain came down and I seen something completely contradictory it was hard to believe and for years I tried to put the curtain back up, thinking that a bit of window dressing would make the con all nice again. A bit of window dressing is all it is. The window is sometimes best left exposed.

They don't care when they've gotten rid of you.
Last edited:


Diamond Invictus SP
Mike Rinder had an interesting post on his blog published earlier today:

In Celebration Of A Sociopath


In celebration of the birth of a true sociopath, and as a gift not for him but for those who may be unfortunate enough to be in his world, I am reprinting an excerpt from an article that appeared in Signs of The Times.

What is most interesting about this article to me is not the description of the characteristics of a sociopath, for these are brilliantly covered in Martha Stoutt’s excellent book The Sociopath Next Door (the best $8 you will ever spend), but the discussion of apaths and empaths — the people who come in contact with sociopaths. Many have pondered the question “Why don’t Ray Mithoff/Guillaume Lesevre/Marc Yager/Norman Starkey etc etc DO something about this and ‘overthrow’ Miscavige and set things straight?” I have often attempted to answer this in a shorthand fashion by stating they have been beaten into the ground and turned into jellyfish. This article explains the phenomenon more exactly.

Also recognize that within the world of scientology, the weapons of the sociopath are enhanced dramatically by <snip>

Read Full Post:


The point of being able to spot sociopaths is to be able to avoid that segment of the population most likely to harm you without hesitation.

Mix a little bit of charisma in with the sociopathy, and the malefactor can become irresistible - why are homo sapiens susceptible to silver-tongued manipulators?


Silver Meritorious Patron
Mix a little bit of charisma in with the sociopathy, and the malefactor can become irresistible - why are homo sapiens susceptible to silver-tongued manipulators?

Trust and compassion have an evolutionary advantage for the group MOST of the time - sociopaths take advantage of that:grouch: