The "Process" I'm Running....

[clamicide]

It just hit me tonight. Basically what I've been doing. What ESMB has been helping me with. Broken down like a repetitive process it would read:

How has the cult helped you?
How has the cult harmed you?

It's funny...because it's so awesome that it's not being run like a process. Shit will come up on one or the other and I'll dig into it. No such thing as a red tag...I can have days where I feel like total hell, and it's OK. I'm processing in a REAL way, not Scio processing. It's funny to see that up there (the 'commands') and laugh at it, and I have read enough to see that most of what Hubbard appeared to have got right wasn't his in the first place. It's cool to see both of the dynamics on it...to reconcile what 'wins' I had with the evil I believe Scientology to be at it's core. It's really helped blast apart the cognitive dissonance, which most 'real' repetitive processes reinforced in me.

 

[Tiger Lily]

It's cool to see both of the dynamics on it...to reconcile what 'wins' I had with the evil I believe Scientology to be at it's core. It's really helped blast apart the cognitive dissonance, which most 'real' repetitive processes reinforced in me.

Clamicide, that's exactly what ESMB has been handling for me, too. I was so stuck in Scientology -- even for years after I "blew". I knew that LRH knew something, because I had gains and realizations that were mind-blowing, yet it was clear there was something terribly wrong with it.

To come to ESMB and be able to just look at that, has been enormously valuable to me. If it had been all bad, we would have never gotten so trapped in it. Here, it's OK to not be black and white.

I also liked your point about "real life" processing vs. Hubbard's artificial processing.

Good post!
-TL

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Clamicide,

That is so cool that you created a "process" for yourself. Yes, feeling like hell for a few days is worth the "gains" you'll achieve in the end.

 

[Kookaburra]

It just hit me tonight. Basically what I've been doing. What ESMB has been helping me with. Broken down like a repetitive process it would read:

How has the cult helped you?
How has the cult harmed you?

It's funny...because it's so awesome that it's not being run like a process. Shit will come up on one or the other and I'll dig into it. No such thing as a red tag...I can have days where I feel like total hell, and it's OK. I'm processing in a REAL way, not Scio processing. It's funny to see that up there (the 'commands') and laugh at it, and I have read enough to see that most of what Hubbard appeared to have got right wasn't his in the first place. It's cool to see both of the dynamics on it...to reconcile what 'wins' I had with the evil I believe Scientology to be at it's core. It's really helped blast apart the cognitive dissonance, which most 'real' repetitive processes reinforced in me.

I think this is a very apt description of what a lot of people on ESMB are doing. There really is a lot of stuff to sort through, and a reason why the tech all made sense, the wins were there, and you end up with your life in a shambles and feeling like shit. And a long time later you realize you are not the only one and it is not your fault.

Happy digging, Clamicide.

 

[Telepathetic]

It just hit me tonight. Basically what I've been doing. What ESMB has been helping me with. Broken down like a repetitive process it would read:

How has the cult helped you?
How has the cult harmed you?

It's funny...because it's so awesome that it's not being run like a process. Shit will come up on one or the other and I'll dig into it. No such thing as a red tag...I can have days where I feel like total hell, and it's OK. I'm processing in a REAL way, not Scio processing. It's funny to see that up there (the 'commands') and laugh at it, and I have read enough to see that most of what Hubbard appeared to have got right wasn't his in the first place. It's cool to see both of the dynamics on it...to reconcile what 'wins' I had with the evil I believe Scientology to be at it's core. It's really helped blast apart the cognitive dissonance, which most 'real' repetitive processes reinforced in me.

That's interesting I'd never quite seen it that way before, but makes sense

TP