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The purpose of ESMB

Discussion in 'ESMB Rules, FAQ, and New Member Info' started by Emma, Feb 6, 2008.

  1. HappyGirl

    HappyGirl Gold Meritorious Patron

    Wow, Ceedia. That is amazing you are in contact with 60 people that are considering leaving. I don't even know 60 people. This really puts things in perspective. We should all make an effort to make ESMB a more warm and fuzzy loving place to come to. Being considerate of others is a good thing to strive for anyway, no matter where we are. You have my vote. :)
  2. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Well said. Everyone is very different for sure and it takes some time and a lot of posts to find one's true self again in my view. When I came to the board first I was in a mess, I had just woken up literally and without lurking jumped in with both feet. When I came across some scilons (Freezerzoners) some of which accused me of having MU's I went quite off my trolly and lost the plot. I couldn't even cope with reading a scientologeeze, I was like this all the time... :angry: :bigcry: :grouch: :hissyfit: :storm: :bigcry:

    But as time went on and I had some great support behind the scenes too I came out of my mind fuck albeit slowly. I do find a lot of the postings here depressing and shocking in the extreme so I do feel humour posts are important to diffuse and balance out the level of bad news that goes hand in hand with this type of forum. People must be allowed to be themselves and wake up at their own pace. Just because people are having fun and being witty does not mean that they are not there for others when they need support also. People go through many different stages and I've noticed this with some others even in the last seven months of being here.

    It's all too easy to get stuck in the mind set of judgments, I did this myself until I realized there was still a lot of the cult think in my own thinking viewpoints and behavours. Arguments are part and parcel of being human, and to expect everyone to agree with everything is unrealistic in the extreme. We got out of the cult to be free, to find ourselves again and to experience once again what it's like to have 'free speech' which is something that lacked sorely while we were in.

    I agree we are all here for each other, some more than others but that is fine too, but who are we posting for? Ourselves? With fear of OSA in the background? For newbies? No, we ought to be posting for ourselves first and foremost, that is why we came here, to heal, to be acknowledged and understood by others, and some heal differently than others and at different stages. As I have said many times before, what others think of me is none of my concern, they are now thank god free to think what they wish.
  3. HappyGirl

    HappyGirl Gold Meritorious Patron

    YES!!! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: Makes me a happy girl. :)
  4. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    And a HappyGirl is what I love to see!! :thumbsup: Keeeeep smiling!! :D
  5. ttamaad

    ttamaad Silver Meritorious Patron

    First of all, I would like to congratulate everyone for their contribution to this thread. We have all managed to stay on course and some valuable point have been made.

    I would love to have some feedback from Emma (as the administrator of the board) and hopefully that will be coming

    Having worked on several forums with membership over the 150,000 mark ( is one) both as an administrator and moderator, I offer the following as a perspective to all this....

    The main one and what I percieve as the best guide is

    Following this guide is the internet standard and follows "acceptable practices"

    We all have the ability to report any post that we consider breaks the rules here on this board (its the [​IMG] button at the top right of each post. This allows you to report the post to the admin/mod

    Maybe Emma needs to consider appointing some active moderators who can deal with situations as they happen.

    What has to be remembered is that there are some 42 forums on this board. Each has been put there to cater for a particular member base and a particular content. The chatbox also caters for other members so it is a very diverse board. It is also a very "tame" board and so it should stay to keep in line with Emma's post... but the last thing I would want to see would be it run like scn with "thought police" jumping in on everything. Surely we can find a happy balance.
  6. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    I agree that too much of anything can spoil the flavour, however I must say that this can be said about so many things on this board. Too many Australians, too many Americans, too many Freezerzoners, too much talk about the 'tech', too many music threads, one could go on, however this forum is akin to a group of people living in the same house together, not everyone is going to agree and that in my view is healthy as we all spent long enough 'having' to agree while insid the cult. This board is a reflection of a group of people who have been under extreme duress and mind bending brainwashing, they, we, need to evolve in whatever way we feel we need to and that is going to differ from one person to another.

    The bottom line is that it's Emma's lounge we are in, and if she's ok with certain things then that's cool, however I am all for allowing free speech and opinions and am not disagreeing with anyone here, I spent enough time disagreeing with just about everyone when I first arrived here and now I feel a lot more refreshed and objective in my views. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and no one ought to get upset for it really.

    We are all brave to be here and speak in the first place. I've said before, when I first posted, I'd switch off the computer and run out the room! :duh: But it's all an evolution, things come and go, topics come and go, people come and go, it's a kalidascope, that's what it is, and it needs to be allowed to move and turn and twist and unfold as in life. In my view, it's all good, it's all healthy debate, and isn't that what forums are for! :thumbsup:
  7. Power Change

    Power Change Patron Meritorious

    I have just read like 10 posts on this thread and I still dont know what the problem is/was.

    Instead of talking about the elephant that is NOT in the room, can you PLEASE just talk about the elephant that IS in the middle of the room?

    What thread(s) are potentially problematic currently that brought this discussion back up? If you want people to learn from it just tell us !

    Seems to be the most efficient way to handle this 'situation'....???
  8. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    :laugh: Well I too am still on the hunt for that pesky elephant but he's nowhere to be found! :confused2: I think some people may think there is too much of something here on the board. But exactly what that is I'm not too sure.
  9. Zinjifar

    Zinjifar Silver Meritorious Sponsor


  10. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    :omg: Is that you Zinjifar?!?! Why I... I ... :faint:
  11. Zinjifar

    Zinjifar Silver Meritorious Sponsor

    Can't be. I prefer a sofa (much slacker) and smoke cigars.

  12. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    :laugh: Still, it's a beautiful painting and very well done... captures the atmosphere to perfection. :yes:
  13. Zinjifar

    Zinjifar Silver Meritorious Sponsor

    And, the artist's name is Ed Slack :)

  14. Power Change

    Power Change Patron Meritorious

    OK...gotcha ! The starter of the WTF is the elephant in the room you are not telling us !!!

    OK Ceedia....just spill it....what thread? You dont even have to name names---we are smart schmucks -we will figure it out from there....

    Fesss up....what thread is the elephant?
  15. Panda Termint

    Panda Termint Cabal Of One

    PC, Ceedia gave a couple of specific examples of what she's talking about on post #38 on this thread.
    Check it out, you'll see what she's getting at.
    It's just something that came to attention because of some negative reactions to these things on ESMB from newly out and wavering scn'ists. They were far from impressed by what they read.
    We're not talking about the crime of the century, it's just about asking for a little moderation and consideration (from the very few offenders) for the newbies and those who are actively working to help others escape CofS.
  16. KnightVision

    KnightVision Gold Meritorious Patron

    Well, here I have to 'assume' that what you are saying is actually, 'They were far from impressed by SOME of what they read'. I understand with SOME POSTINGS, that this may be the case. I have been here for six weeks and I still find myself 'far from impressed by SOME of what I read'. This is unavoidable. Newbie, regular, old fart... don't matter.

    I agree that there is always room for improvement, if one is so inclined.
    I'm in favor of trying to help individual posters 'not so vehemently attack personalities' and have found it effective to simply drop a little kind hint where I see it happening. You mention below 'very few offenders', so it should be a piece of cake to drop a few words of suggestion. After that report them to the administrators if you feel it's necessary.

    However, this type of generalized 'board policing' using descriptions as are being offered here... I do not agree with because they are generalized. For any good they may do, they create an uncomfortable atmosphere. WHY? Because generalized accusations can make everybody 'suspicious' of their own behavior as well as that of others.

    IMO, the best way to effect any change is to politely ask individuals. Some change can occur. Some may not.
  17. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Oh... :bigcry: my first love in music... oh I LOVE the Stones!!!!! :happydance: :happydance:

    Good post KV, you sound like you've been here forever! But sure we're all learning and that's what counts!
  18. alex

    alex Gold Meritorious Patron

    This board has gone through several changes in character.

    At its inception it was exceedingly civil. Even loving.

    As it has become larger it has become more like the internet as a whole.

    I have noticed that on the internet people do not see each other as people as much as they would in real life. This is actually something I have noticed about myself. It is easy to attack and the worse repurcussion is harsh words in return or a ban, no bip in the nose or long lasting social disgrace...

    But in defense of that sort of behavior, it is a release and outlet for people....better here than IRL.

    The sad thing though is that the valuable contributions of the more sane and stable are lost when they decide they dont want to put up with the abuse.

    A dwindling spiral?

    Not if we see it and act to reverse it.

  19. MarkWI

    MarkWI Patron Meritorious

    I agree with you Alex. :thumbsup:
    Let's keep this a friendly and safe place.
  20. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Who said this was a dangerous place? I am thinking that things are being totally blown out of all proportions here. This is getting ridiculous. Geez, there's nothing like a sweeping generality is there. :eyeroll: