The purpose of ESMB

[HappyGirl]

Currently I know and/or am in contact with about 60 people in my area who I or others have directed to this board. These people are sitting on the fence now, and are looking for themselves - in an effort to decide which direction to take in regard to Scn and the CofS!

I (along with others) get feedback on a constant basis about how this board is perceived. Carping criticism, disrespect, flaming, and 'joking and degrading' to any sizable degree - just results in a big "REJECT" by them....

Wow, Ceedia. That is amazing you are in contact with 60 people that are considering leaving. I don't even know 60 people. This really puts things in perspective. We should all make an effort to make ESMB a more warm and fuzzy loving place to come to. Being considerate of others is a good thing to strive for anyway, no matter where we are. You have my vote.

 

[Pixie]

First, I would like to give a big thank you to Emma. I got a tremendous amount from this board, and although things can always be improved, I think ESMB is awesome just the way it is.

I also think every single one of you has a point, and expressed it very well. But what are we to do about it? How can we go about living our lives on what someone else might think? We don't even know they will think it, they just might. And considering there are 9 billion viewpoints on this planet, how are we going to be "safe" in covering everyone's viewpoint? I agree that new people should have the "perfect" place to come to, but what exactly is that?

Maybe we should have a very specific area for "NEWLY OUT" to go to that contains the most pertinent threads (addressing topics of fear of leaving CoS, personal escape stories, etc.) Maybe in the "newly out" section we can put up a big welcome with tips on how to use this board, to start with the stories, or search for threads of interest, etc., so they don't get overwhelmed with the "off topic" distractions. Actually, I have PMd a couple of newbies with tips that I found useful when I first got started.

What else can we do? Worrying about what the newbies might think, and trying to figure out what our behavior should be is a little crazy-making, don't you think? We are a very diverse bunch that can barely please each other, let alone people that haven't even arrived here yet.

Well said. Everyone is very different for sure and it takes some time and a lot of posts to find one's true self again in my view. When I came to the board first I was in a mess, I had just woken up literally and without lurking jumped in with both feet. When I came across some scilons (Freezerzoners) some of which accused me of having MU's I went quite off my trolly and lost the plot. I couldn't even cope with reading a scientologeeze, I was like this all the time...

But as time went on and I had some great support behind the scenes too I came out of my mind fuck albeit slowly. I do find a lot of the postings here depressing and shocking in the extreme so I do feel humour posts are important to diffuse and balance out the level of bad news that goes hand in hand with this type of forum. People must be allowed to be themselves and wake up at their own pace. Just because people are having fun and being witty does not mean that they are not there for others when they need support also. People go through many different stages and I've noticed this with some others even in the last seven months of being here.

It's all too easy to get stuck in the mind set of judgments, I did this myself until I realized there was still a lot of the cult think in my own thinking viewpoints and behavours. Arguments are part and parcel of being human, and to expect everyone to agree with everything is unrealistic in the extreme. We got out of the cult to be free, to find ourselves again and to experience once again what it's like to have 'free speech' which is something that lacked sorely while we were in.

I agree we are all here for each other, some more than others but that is fine too, but who are we posting for? Ourselves? With fear of OSA in the background? For newbies? No, we ought to be posting for ourselves first and foremost, that is why we came here, to heal, to be acknowledged and understood by others, and some heal differently than others and at different stages. As I have said many times before, what others think of me is none of my concern, they are now thank god free to think what they wish.

 

[HappyGirl]

I have said many times before, what others think of me is none of my concern, they are now thank god free to think what they wish.

YES!!! Makes me a happy girl.

 

[Pixie]

YES!!! Makes me a happy girl.

And a HappyGirl is what I love to see!! Keeeeep smiling!!

 

[ttamaad]

First of all, I would like to congratulate everyone for their contribution to this thread. We have all managed to stay on course and some valuable point have been made.

I would love to have some feedback from Emma (as the administrator of the board) and hopefully that will be coming

Having worked on several forums with membership over the 150,000 mark (castlecops.com is one) both as an administrator and moderator, I offer the following as a perspective to all this....

The main one and what I percieve as the best guide is
http://www.albion.com/netiquette/corerules.html

Following this guide is the internet standard and follows "acceptable practices"

We all have the ability to report any post that we consider breaks the rules here on this board (its the

button at the top right of each post. This allows you to report the post to the admin/mod

Maybe Emma needs to consider appointing some active moderators who can deal with situations as they happen.

What has to be remembered is that there are some 42 forums on this board. Each has been put there to cater for a particular member base and a particular content. The chatbox also caters for other members so it is a very diverse board. It is also a very "tame" board and so it should stay to keep in line with Emma's post... but the last thing I would want to see would be it run like scn with "thought police" jumping in on everything. Surely we can find a happy balance.

 

[Pixie]

I don't think Panda or anyone is saying or advocating that we should only "stay inside the scn framework", while on the board. We all enjoy at least a bit of fun - in this forum there for is plenty of room for that and at times it can be a very pleasant activity and/or distraction.

However, one could argue that too much of anything can spoil the flavour - so food for thought.

I agree that too much of anything can spoil the flavour, however I must say that this can be said about so many things on this board. Too many Australians, too many Americans, too many Freezerzoners, too much talk about the 'tech', too many music threads, one could go on, however this forum is akin to a group of people living in the same house together, not everyone is going to agree and that in my view is healthy as we all spent long enough 'having' to agree while insid the cult. This board is a reflection of a group of people who have been under extreme duress and mind bending brainwashing, they, we, need to evolve in whatever way we feel we need to and that is going to differ from one person to another.

The bottom line is that it's Emma's lounge we are in, and if she's ok with certain things then that's cool, however I am all for allowing free speech and opinions and am not disagreeing with anyone here, I spent enough time disagreeing with just about everyone when I first arrived here and now I feel a lot more refreshed and objective in my views. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and no one ought to get upset for it really.

We are all brave to be here and speak in the first place. I've said before, when I first posted, I'd switch off the computer and run out the room! But it's all an evolution, things come and go, topics come and go, people come and go, it's a kalidascope, that's what it is, and it needs to be allowed to move and turn and twist and unfold as in life. In my view, it's all good, it's all healthy debate, and isn't that what forums are for!

 

[Power Change]

Um...er....


I have just read like 10 posts on this thread and I still dont know what the problem is/was.

Instead of talking about the elephant that is NOT in the room, can you PLEASE just talk about the elephant that IS in the middle of the room?

What thread(s) are potentially problematic currently that brought this discussion back up? If you want people to learn from it just tell us !

Seems to be the most efficient way to handle this 'situation'....???

 

[Pixie]

Um...er....


I have just read like 10 posts on this thread and I still dont know what the problem is/was.

Instead of talking about the elephant that is NOT in the room, can you PLEASE just talk about the elephant that IS in the middle of the room?

What thread(s) are potentially problematic currently that brought this discussion back up? If you want people to learn from it just tell us !

Seems to be the most efficient way to handle this 'situation'....???

Well I too am still on the hunt for that pesky elephant but he's nowhere to be found! :confused2: I think some people may think there is too much of something here on the board. But exactly what that is I'm not too sure.

 

[Zinjifar]

DARE TO BE SLACK


Zinj

 

[Pixie]

DARE TO BE SLACK


Zinj

Is that you Zinjifar?!?! Why I... I ...

 

[Zinjifar]

Is that you Zinjifar?!?! Why I... I ...

Can't be. I prefer a sofa (much slacker) and smoke cigars.

Zinj

 

[Pixie]

Can't be. I prefer a sofa (much slacker) and smoke cigars.

Zinj

Still, it's a beautiful painting and very well done... captures the atmosphere to perfection.

 

[Zinjifar]

Still, it's a beautiful painting and very well done... captures the atmosphere to perfection.

And, the artist's name is Ed Slack

Zinj

 

[Power Change]

Just thought I'd bump, after reading all the posts today.

For those who have not read Emma's original post - it's one that's worth reading.

Cheers

OK...gotcha ! The starter of the WTF is the elephant in the room you are not telling us !!!

OK Ceedia....just spill it....what thread? You dont even have to name names---we are smart schmucks -we will figure it out from there....

Fesss up....what thread is the elephant?

 

[Panda Termint]

Um...er....


I have just read like 10 posts on this thread and I still dont know what the problem is/was.

Instead of talking about the elephant that is NOT in the room, can you PLEASE just talk about the elephant that IS in the middle of the room?

What thread(s) are potentially problematic currently that brought this discussion back up? If you want people to learn from it just tell us !

Seems to be the most efficient way to handle this 'situation'....???

PC, Ceedia gave a couple of specific examples of what she's talking about on post #38 on this thread.
Check it out, you'll see what she's getting at.
It's just something that came to attention because of some negative reactions to these things on ESMB from newly out and wavering scn'ists. They were far from impressed by what they read.
We're not talking about the crime of the century, it's just about asking for a little moderation and consideration (from the very few offenders) for the newbies and those who are actively working to help others escape CofS.

 

[KnightVision]

PC, Ceedia gave a couple of specific examples of what she's talking about on post #38 on this thread.
Check it out, you'll see what she's getting at.
It's just something that came to attention because of some negative reactions to these things on ESMB from newly out and wavering scn'ists. They were far from impressed by what they read.

Well, here I have to 'assume' that what you are saying is actually, 'They were far from impressed by SOME of what they read'. I understand with SOME POSTINGS, that this may be the case. I have been here for six weeks and I still find myself 'far from impressed by SOME of what I read'. This is unavoidable. Newbie, regular, old fart... don't matter.

I agree that there is always room for improvement, if one is so inclined.
I'm in favor of trying to help individual posters 'not so vehemently attack personalities' and have found it effective to simply drop a little kind hint where I see it happening. You mention below 'very few offenders', so it should be a piece of cake to drop a few words of suggestion. After that report them to the administrators if you feel it's necessary.

However, this type of generalized 'board policing' using descriptions as are being offered here... I do not agree with because they are generalized. For any good they may do, they create an uncomfortable atmosphere. WHY? Because generalized accusations can make everybody 'suspicious' of their own behavior as well as that of others.

IMO, the best way to effect any change is to politely ask individuals. Some change can occur. Some may not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0jyKabLHVc

 

[Pixie]

Oh... my first love in music... oh I LOVE the Stones!!!!!

Good post KV, you sound like you've been here forever! But sure we're all learning and that's what counts!

 

[alex]

Ok, first off - here's the "purpose of the board" per FAQ

"What is the purpose of the board?

The board is for Ex Scientologists of all "denominations" to get together and talk things over.

Some leave the church because they are forced out by some insane ethics order yet remain true believers; some left of their own accord because it stopped making sense; some find the tech truly workable but management corrupt; some find the earlier tech workable but call the Golden Age of Tech the "work of squirrels"; some don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater and some feel that there is no baby at all.

Some practice Scientology alternatives, some practice Freezone Scientology, some use bits and pieces in their daily lives and some want nothing more to do with it.

It is likely that most people are happy where they sit in regards to Scientology. They have their minds made up about it and no amount of discussion will change that. This board is not meant to be a vehicle to plead your case, reconvert the fallen or preach your brand. It is designed to allow people to connect up, gain some understanding of our differences, learn to respect each others opinions and find some peace with it and hopefully within ourselves. "

When I first came to this board (only a few months ago now), I considered that mostly the board was in alignment with it's stated purpose. Currently I have the consideration, that it seems to have gone off that track somewhat.

Specifics as to why:
- Today a newbie posted his first post, on the anti scn = anti life thread. I consider that he was slammed for it, in a very disrespectful manner.
- Yesterday, I read a chat (after the fact), that was a shocker! The offender was later banned, but the fact that she was given the stage and the audience for the length of time that she was - was surprizing and disappointing.
- Having someone log into chat with something like "any 'fuck pigs' around here today" (as an introduction), when members were mid chatting - would/could arguably be considered direspectful and rudely offensive.
- Reading the two word/three word threads and seeing stuff like "suk fuk yoo" with reply "anytime kv anytime" would/could be the same - and in addition, render those threads exclusive to a minority.
- Reading or receiving stuff like "One need only examine your Freezone discussion groups to see what a bunch of Elron space cadets you guys are." is an example of a personal affront.

If these instances were just "one off's", they would probably just be like water off a ducks back, but in recent days/weeks - not so! They appear to be on the increase and are hence affecting the vibe/flavour/tone of the board.

In my mind those who have kept up to speed with the daily posts, would have also observed the change.

This board has gone through several changes in character.

At its inception it was exceedingly civil. Even loving.

As it has become larger it has become more like the internet as a whole.

I have noticed that on the internet people do not see each other as people as much as they would in real life. This is actually something I have noticed about myself. It is easy to attack and the worse repurcussion is harsh words in return or a ban, no bip in the nose or long lasting social disgrace...

But in defense of that sort of behavior, it is a release and outlet for people....better here than IRL.

The sad thing though is that the valuable contributions of the more sane and stable are lost when they decide they dont want to put up with the abuse.

A dwindling spiral?

Not if we see it and act to reverse it.

alex

 

[MarkWI]

This board has gone through several changes in character.

At its inception it was exceedingly civil. Even loving.

As it has become larger it has become more like the internet as a whole.

I have noticed that on the internet people do not see each other as people as much as they would in real life. This is actually something I have noticed about myself. It is easy to attack and the worse repurcussion is harsh words in return or a ban, no bip in the nose or long lasting social disgrace...

But in defense of that sort of behavior, it is a release and outlet for people....better here than IRL.

The sad thing though is that the valuable contributions of the more sane and stable are lost when they decide they dont want to put up with the abuse.

A dwindling spiral?

Not if we see it and act to reverse it.

alex

I agree with you Alex.
Let's keep this a friendly and safe place.

 

[Pixie]

I agree with you Alex.
Let's keep this a friendly and safe place.

Who said this was a dangerous place? I am thinking that things are being totally blown out of all proportions here. This is getting ridiculous. Geez, there's nothing like a sweeping generality is there.