uniquemand
Unbeliever
No, no, no, it gave me no super-duper power to postulate. It did make it plain to me that I had a lot of different intentions conflicting and reducing my actual output, leaving me basically stationary in life, instead of moving towards a target. Everytime I'd get halfway to one goal or another, some other major goal of mine would distract me (major goal "to be romantic", or "to be studious", "to be experienced" [in the Hendrix meaning], etc.), and I couldn't make any progress.
It's not so much about increasing the power of your intention (thought there's a lot of song and dance about that sort of thing... "horsepower" of a thetan type talk), as clarifying what it is you are trying to bring it about, and making all of your actions amplify each other so that you achieve it.
Supposedly running out o/w enhances this ability to reach toward creation of your intentions. I've had subjective experiences of this. It wasn't magical, though. It was simply getting organized and ceasing spending my energy in other ways.
I don't think the shell game was "postulates". I think the shell game was "earlier similars". Whenever something didn't "lift", it was always assumed there was some earlier similar "charge". While there may have been, the key is really to figure out what decisions I made that push me away from doing what I consciously want to be doing, and examining that.
However, many people accuse me of trying to make sense out of nonsense! I continue to feel it was valuable to me, but I would agree there has to be a better way of learning it, without a destructive cult gumming everything up.
To me, it's like I was waking up to something, and what I was waking up to was a theory on artificial intelligence, or what a consciousness would have to be composed of. I thought Hubbard had it by the tail, but my understanding is he quit trying to map it out for whatever reason you want to believe. That theory was the goals-problem mass, which is scienobabble for a person in conflict with themself about what to do with their attention and time, and the idea is that you "dramatize" an identity when the environment cues you in a way programmed in from prior experience (engrams, implants, whatever, even successes). This still makes sense to me. I think our first real, powerful, general AI systems will have a complex set of goals, be capable of motion and plotting courses toward these goals, and be self-correcting. I don't think we are any different than this. Our goal sets are complex. Some of them are genetic programs (reproductive urge, pleasure/pain, hunger, etc.), some are programs we duplicate from watching others and interpreting their behavior.
When I noticed that the Church wasn't behaving in that manner, and started asking questions, I started seeing more and more that it was a facade. I had to leave when I felt that people were trying to make me see everything was okay, when it wasn't, and to ignore my own sense of self-conflict about taking any of this on-board on faith. They kept asking me to TRUST them. This is the nature of a confidence game. Based on small gains, I was asked to believe that there would be more down the line, worth completely becoming in thrall to the organization. I bought it for a little while, but then I lived with an OT V named Marta White in NYC. I formed a "hidden standard", because she seemed like she wasn't my concept of an OT in any way shape or form. I realized that the Clears I knew were generally pretty timid, and didn't want to talk about being Clear, or what it meant to them. Eventually, I realized that I was either going to walk away, or do what I was told, and that if I did what I was told, I had sold MYSELF out to the organization.
I had to weigh the cost of leaving to save my own sanity against the cost of losing my wife and children. There was no right decision. It was only degees of wrong. I figured I couldn't do anyone any good as a slave. So I left. But I left my folks on the field. They closed ranks against me. That's what being conscious is all about.
It's not so much about increasing the power of your intention (thought there's a lot of song and dance about that sort of thing... "horsepower" of a thetan type talk), as clarifying what it is you are trying to bring it about, and making all of your actions amplify each other so that you achieve it.
Supposedly running out o/w enhances this ability to reach toward creation of your intentions. I've had subjective experiences of this. It wasn't magical, though. It was simply getting organized and ceasing spending my energy in other ways.
I don't think the shell game was "postulates". I think the shell game was "earlier similars". Whenever something didn't "lift", it was always assumed there was some earlier similar "charge". While there may have been, the key is really to figure out what decisions I made that push me away from doing what I consciously want to be doing, and examining that.
However, many people accuse me of trying to make sense out of nonsense! I continue to feel it was valuable to me, but I would agree there has to be a better way of learning it, without a destructive cult gumming everything up.
To me, it's like I was waking up to something, and what I was waking up to was a theory on artificial intelligence, or what a consciousness would have to be composed of. I thought Hubbard had it by the tail, but my understanding is he quit trying to map it out for whatever reason you want to believe. That theory was the goals-problem mass, which is scienobabble for a person in conflict with themself about what to do with their attention and time, and the idea is that you "dramatize" an identity when the environment cues you in a way programmed in from prior experience (engrams, implants, whatever, even successes). This still makes sense to me. I think our first real, powerful, general AI systems will have a complex set of goals, be capable of motion and plotting courses toward these goals, and be self-correcting. I don't think we are any different than this. Our goal sets are complex. Some of them are genetic programs (reproductive urge, pleasure/pain, hunger, etc.), some are programs we duplicate from watching others and interpreting their behavior.
When I noticed that the Church wasn't behaving in that manner, and started asking questions, I started seeing more and more that it was a facade. I had to leave when I felt that people were trying to make me see everything was okay, when it wasn't, and to ignore my own sense of self-conflict about taking any of this on-board on faith. They kept asking me to TRUST them. This is the nature of a confidence game. Based on small gains, I was asked to believe that there would be more down the line, worth completely becoming in thrall to the organization. I bought it for a little while, but then I lived with an OT V named Marta White in NYC. I formed a "hidden standard", because she seemed like she wasn't my concept of an OT in any way shape or form. I realized that the Clears I knew were generally pretty timid, and didn't want to talk about being Clear, or what it meant to them. Eventually, I realized that I was either going to walk away, or do what I was told, and that if I did what I was told, I had sold MYSELF out to the organization.
I had to weigh the cost of leaving to save my own sanity against the cost of losing my wife and children. There was no right decision. It was only degees of wrong. I figured I couldn't do anyone any good as a slave. So I left. But I left my folks on the field. They closed ranks against me. That's what being conscious is all about.
