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THE STATE OF THE STOP SCIENTOLOGY ABUSE CAMPAIGN

Graham Berry

Patron with Honors
THE STATE OF THE STOP SCIENTOLOGY ABUSE CAMPAIGN

PART ONE: HOW FAR WE HAVE TRAVELED

One year ago Anonymous chanted its refrain that “information is free” and it charged into battle against the abuses of corporate scientology, widely considered the world’s worst copyright abuser. The contest of ideas, and the communication of information, has now extended to all of the abuses, crimes, dangers and frauds of the Scientology business conglomerate, religious mafia and totalitarian political machine. This is the State of the Campaign, as I see it. It is my hope that you will take the time to share your own assessment of how far and well we have come, and where we might go from here. If we share our observations and ideas, and act upon the collective wisdom, we may be able to conquer the cult’s crumbling con by year’s end.

I have been fighting the Scientology octopus for nearly twenty years. The financial circumstances of both corporate scientology and me have dramatically declined since Moxon and I met in late 1990 at the beginning of Religious Technology Center v. Joseph Yanny II. My first tutors were Gerry Armstrong and Vicki Aznaran. They were fighting Church of Scientology v. Armstrong II and Aznaran v. Church of Scientology.

In November 1990, the Church of Scientology was at the peak of its wealth and intimidation. Recently it had been laid bare by a six part series in the Los Angeles Times. (http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-scientology-sg,0,4617583.storygallery) Six months later, on May 6, 1991, it would be the cover story of Time magazine’s greatest issue: Scientology: The Thriving cult of Greed and Power. (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,972865,00.html)

In November 1990, Scientology had an annual litigation and investigation budget that exceeded forty million dollars. It had a world wide litigation and intimidation juggernaut. Armies of lawyers from the world’s largest and leading law firms, assisted by over 150 O.S.A. Legal Unit staffers earning $46-20 for 100 hour plus weeks, and gangs of Private Investigators and other intimidating goons. Ten month later David Miscavige and Marty Rathbun would burst into the I.R.S. Commissioner’s office without an appointment. They would spend over thirty minutes advising him of the results of their “investigation” and what they might do with them if the I.R.S. did not co-operate by surrendering in the twenty year Scientology War against the I.R.S., and to grant it tax free status despite the recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling in Hernandez v. Commissioner. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hernandez_v._Commissioner)

Four years later, in November 1994, Scientology’s litigation charades were becoming transparent. During the course of Church of Scientology International v. Fishman & Geertz the Scientology Upper Levels, the OT Levels, had ended up on the open court files and then on the Internet. The Andre Tabayoyon, Mary Tabayoyon, Robert Vaughn Young, Stacy Brooks, Hana Whitfield, Jerry Whitfield and Lawrence Wollersheim declarations had also been on open court files and were all over the Internet. People were able to read about “instructions to commit financial fraud, murder and suicide.” Weapons and forced abortions at Gold Base were now public knowledge. The Scientology’s genie was out of the bottle I told the Washington Post in1996. “The Internet would prove to be the church’s Waterloo and lead to their demise,” I told the LA Weekly in January 2000. (http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/pasadena-weekly-debunking-scientology.htm) By then Scientology had declared and lost its War against the Internet although it continued to engage in Internet abuse as if it is beyond all laws and any sense of fair play and human decency. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology_and_the_Internet).

On January 15, 2008 the Church of Scientology over-played its hand when dealing with the Internet release of the Scientology promotional video recorded by Tom Cruise in 2004. The Internet retaliated with a declaration of war by Anonymous against Scientology civil rights abuses and copyright frauds. Throughout the rest of 2008 the battles have raged between Scientology, Anonymous, the Old Guard and assorted other critics. What is the scoreboard one year later? It is definitely advantage Anonymous and organized Scientology is definitely imploding.

Scientology responded to Anonymous with its usual strategy and technology for the handling of suppressive persons, collectively called Fair Game. The Office of Special Affairs put together teams of lawyers led by the mega law firm of Latham & Watkins and it hired gangs of goons calling themselves private investigators. After three months Latham & Watkins were shamed out of further harassment of Scientology’s critics. However, other smaller law firms and hundreds of private investigators spent many millions of dollars trampling on the civil rights of citizens in the United States and around the world. Scientology’s civil rights extortion and blackmail reached the highest levels of Washington, DC lobbyists and the son of one was forced to withdraw from Anonymous otherwise Scientology would embarrass his father in front of his clients and the Washington establishment. In this criminal manner Scientology attorney Moxon silenced Ath and Kone who were two of the most active Anonymous participants. Despite this, Moxon has not been able to silence or slow the Anonymous movement. The Anonymous hive has lost some street fighters through intimidation, extortion, attention deficit disorder and natural attrition. However, the hive has so damaged and destroyed Scientology that Anonymous now needs fewer street fighters to wage the final battles, as we extend and build our campaign to a whole new level with thousands who do their work with the anonymity of the Internet and emails to public officials. (http://anonstillalive.com/index.html)

Scientology’s asthmatic dwarf and dictator David Miscavige now appears to be in hiding. He failed to attend the I.A.S. ball which was not held at the Shrine in Los Angeles. Neither he nor any of the senior executive strata attended the recent New Years event. He has not been seen in public with mutual best friend Tom Cruise. This is unprecedented. While Scientology is in a total melt down David Miscavige and the entire senior management team is constantly concealed and allegedly confined. Most or all of them should be at Gold Base in Gilman Hot Springs near Hemet, California. Recently, when I have been at the 550 acre Gold Base, the shades are all drawn and there is virtually no external movement anywhere by the claimed 500 staffers.
The entire Gold Base appears to be in a condition of constant lock-down and lock-in. Most of the 500 Scientology staffers at Gold Base have serious Stockholm syndrome. The only significant visible movement is by the security guards who prevent outsiders from getting in or insiders from getting out. One former Gold Base staffer contacted me recently. She wanted the Riverside County Board of Supervisors to insist that the cult install a freely accessible gate and 911 telephone so that staffers could call for help and leave without being restrained by Gold Base security.

We have also learned that David Miscavige has sole control of Scientology’s cash reserves and that they are in secret numbered off-shore bank accounts. Scientology has one such series of numbered accounts off-shore with Merrill Lynch in Antigua. The M. V. Freewinds has been a useful vehicle in this massive tax free off-shore money laundering and racketeering enterprise. Recently the M.V. Freewinds was having deadly blue asbestos scraped off her hull and fittings in Cartegena, Venezuela. Some even suggest that Miscavige and his senior staff have already flown the coop and are moving Scientology’s International Headquarters to a faux castle in South Africa. Whether that is true remains to be seen.

What can now be seen as true is that there is a very high level of anxiety and “strangeness” within the crumbling cult. For a time it was becoming even more dangerous. Scientologists were stepping out of their Church premises to physically attack our Anonymous and Old Guard picketers, their picket signs and cameras. Three months ago one disgruntled sword waving former Scientologist even stormed Scientology’s Celebrity Center in Los Angeles and was shot dead by Church of Scientology armed guards. Their hair triggers and excessive force was whitewashed by Scientology’s plants and puppets at the Los Angeles Police Department. More recently however, law enforcement appears to have backed off from acting upon whatever the cult tells them to believe and do about Anonymous.

In short, Scientology’s planetary response to Anonymous has been an expensive public relations and legal disaster. Scientologists are quietly shrinking away from the Church in droves and the staff ranks are decimated by defections. One Saturday evening in early January 2009 I stood alone at one end of L. Ron Hubbard Way shouting protest slogans while Scientology attorney Moxon stood silently and pathetically at the other. The rest of the Office of Special Affairs has been conspicuous by their absence and silence. Scientology had expected to squash Anonymous before last year’s Memorial Day. Instead, Scientology critics and Anonymous have defied Scientology’s violations and abuses of our constitutional and civil rights.

Yesterday, February 14, 2009 was even more pathetic for the cult. While four Anons picketed in Los Angeles at L. Ron Hubbard Way and Sunset Boulevard, I solo picketed outside A.O.L.A. and Big Blue on the other end of L. Ron Hubbard Way at Fountain Avenue. L. Ron Hubbard Way was utterly deserted except for Roy the Pacific Area Command Base security guard, me and the occasional car entering and leaving the A.O.L.A. (upper levels processing) car park. I was carrying two picket signs: One with a photograph of former Gold Base staffer and reading” Scientology Leader David Miscavige Beats Up Staff Members” and the other reading “Blow Baby Blow.” After half an hour a solitary figure emerged from the American Saint Hill Building and slowly walked down the other side of L. Ron Hubbard Way toward me and my solo picketing of “The Complex.” It was Scientology uber attorney Kendrick L. Moxon. He was dressed casually with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. As Moxon drew level with me he yelled across the street to me, “Berry, are you still having gay sex?” He said something as he passed Roy the security guard, they both chuckled at me, and then Moxon walked across Fountain Avenue to the secure parking building. A few minutes Moxon drove out of the parking building in a blue Toyota Prius, glaring at me as he did so. The imagery of this encounter and exchange spoke volumes on a number of different levels.

Despite the initial strength of our totalitarian foe, Anonymous has prevailed against Scientology corruption and deception of politicians and police. Both Miscavige and Moxon appear to realize that the Scientology scam is now crumbling, like every other multi-level Ponzi scheme and every other cult and totalitarian movement.

Anonymous, the Old Guard and other critics should each feel proud and encouraged whether we picket as a few outside a declining Mission or whether we picket as a few hundred outside a major Org; from Moscow to Melbourne, from Athens to Auckland, from Lisbon to Los Angeles. A protest against Scientology abuse, crime and fraud only takes one to picket and one to videotape an audio-visual record. It only takes one picket sign to close down L. Ron Hubbard Way, Gold Base or any other Scientology location. It only takes one person protesting Scientology abuse to trigger a state of fear and terror among Scientology staffers and Scientologists. Together Anonymous have survived and prevailed.

What Scientology forgot was that Anonymous does not need to constantly maintain a picketing force of over 10,000 in 110 cities and over 84 countries around the world. Anons who step back from Street Tech don’t just fade away. Many of them are still working away at their keyboards and with public officials. This is the age of the Internet and Anonymous has harnessed the Internets power across towns, state lines and national borders. What other one year old civil rights group has produced hundreds, perhaps thousands, of public service and educational videos and public papers as have “the moral fags” of Anonymous and the members of the Old Guard? OSA’s usual spies and thugs, even Talon Executive Services, have not stopped the silent spreading strength of Anonymous, its memes, and its revelations of Scientology crime, fraud and abuse. Anonymous and the Old Guard now have more active participants (on the streets and on the boards) than the Church of Scientology has active members. Anonymous now has more active cells than the Church of Scientology has active Orgs.

Meanwhile, Scientology’s most important statistic, gross revenue or “g.i.,” has declined to the level of a total “Stat Crash.” Many Anonymous around the planet have observed this. Scientology sells courses, training and auditing that is generally done at Missions and Orgs. The parking lots, course rooms and auditing rooms in all of this fancy real estate have largely been empty. We understand that over sixty scientologists have left and decimated the ranks of the already shrinking Sydney Org. Other Orgs and Missions have closed. A few have moved to cheaper premises. All of them appear to be struggling financially. Vender payments are being delayed and ignored even more than usual. Over the past decade the O.S.A. Legal and Investigations Units have shrunk from about 140 to less than 35. For example, there are many more media “flaps” for a lot less staffers to handle with even a lot less money. Scientology still manages to use its past litigation terror threats to intimidate Amazon and the big book chains. However, the books, magazine articles and documentaries are coming out and Scientology can no longer credibly sue in defamation. Even the super litigious Tom Cruise has failed to sue unauthorized biographer Andrew Morton. In short, although O.S.A. still needs to be defanged and declawed it is now but a shadow of its former self.

Most of the few new recruits Scientology has been able to draw in have left after a short time and after buying few courses. The existing members are largely “regged out.” Even in their state of coerced indoctrination they reason that decades of contributing to the completion of Super Power means that the contributions are going elsewhere. Scientology is rapidly shrinking in all of its sectors. Scientology dissemination and publications are not jamming the mail as they once did. What materials are now being published are of a more frugal nature. The objective of Scientology is to “make money, make money, make more money.” Until recently, money was no problem for Scientology. Now Scientology appears to be having money problems. The Ponzi scheme is imploding. The Auckland Org is even raising operating revenue through bake sales and bingo nights. This is totally “out tech” and was banned by Hubbard.

Scientology’s recent purchase of the historic building now housing the Auckland Org was a ten million dollar real estate deal. Once most major Scientology real estate was purchased by Building Management Services, Inc. More recently it appears to be purchased through ad hoc real estate investment vehicles funded by a few remaining wealthy Scientologists and celebrities such as Tom Cruise.

There is a major “stat crash” in all sectors of Scientology. This follows a decade long “State of Emergency.” Now OSA’s lead in house attorney, Kendrick Moxon, has been labeled “the loneliest douche bag” on the planet. http://forums.whyweprotest.net/284-usa-west-coast/los-angeles-post-game-jan-17th-36840/2/#post702979 The scandal of David Miscavige’s brutal staff beatings is now public and growing. Miscavige beat up Marc Headley who later escaped from Gold Base and is now suing Scientology for about $1.8 million in back-pay and other Labor Code violations. If this law suit succeeds Scientology could face a bankrupting avalanche of similar claims. Similarly, paying minimum wages on an on-going basis would also bankrupt the cult. And if the 1993 tax agreement is voided for fraud and breach then the roughly six billion dollars in back taxes, penalties and interest will finish off organized Scientology (and help fund a U.S. national health program). Anon Orange will also be suing Gold Base. Civil discovery in these law suits will probably produce new human tragedies.

Narconon is reeling from closures, opposition, cancellations and refund claims. Dozens of people are wanting to file suit for refunds and damages. Hundreds of former Scientologists are preparing to file demands for repayments and refunds. The income from the World Institute of Scientology Enterprises is drying up as W.I.S.E. members face their own economic challenges made worse by the crippling W.I.S.E. license fees. Meanwhile, the W.I.S.E. employees can no longer afford the courses and auditing they previously could. A.B.L.E., Applied Scholastics the Volunteer Ministers and their thinly disguised recruiting programs have been exposed to be Scientology false front frauds. Scientology’s unlawful practice of medicine has been exposed through the tragic death of Jett Travolta. Scientology auditing and Tech does not cure autism, cancer or any other serious medical condition.

The United States public is now seeing that Scientology’s cupboard is both bare and toxic. Meanwhile, in Europe the Church of Scientology is really on the ropes. Europe considers Scientology to be a faux religion masking totalitarian political movement that is also engaged in a conglomerate of commercial activities, financial frauds, money laundering, coercive indoctrination, psychological terrorism, unlawful gathering and use of personal information, unlawful practice of medicine, unlawful imprisonment, family abuse, civil rights abuses, etc. Consequently, Scientology continues to be under secret service surveillance in Germany. It is under prosecution in both France and Belgium.

On July 19, 2008, our Washington Anons organized an epic event at the Lincoln Memorial. This “March on D.C.” was a first for a six month old civil rights group. On September 4 and 5, 2008, Ursula Caberta and the German State of Hamburg hosted a highly successful land mark European inter-government conference on THIS IS SCIENTOLOGY! Reports from the USA. Anonymous was also invited and many attended. On May 16 and 17, 2009, F.E.C.R.I.S. (www.fecris.org) will host a similar event in St. Petersburg, Russia. I am also looking forward to seeing Anonymous and the Old Guard there. I will be using the opportunity to deliver a major speech calling upon the United States government and congress to investigate Scientology’s crimes and abuses.

The “moral fags” of Anonymous, and their allies in “the Old Guard,” have traveled far and wide during the past year. Their achievements have been truly amazing and their wins “epic.” Anonymous “do not forget” and they “do not forgive,” so they just “keep coming back.” Neither Scientology O.T. and homo novis powers nor O.S.A. crime and corruption have worked against us. Every O.S.A. Project becomes just another O.S.A. “foot bullet.”

Anonymous is rapidly growing and winning. Corporate Scientology is rapidly losing and shrinking. It is at or approaching a pivotal point beyond which it will not rebound but rather rapidly implode into the “free zone.” There is irony here with the Anonymous slogan, “Religion is free, and Scientology should be too.”

Soon I will post Part Two of this discussion paper: How we might complete the campaign? In the meantime, I hope that many of you will take the time to share your own assessment of how far and well we have come, and where we might go from here.

Congratulations Anonymous upon an epic first year.
Graham E. Berry February 15, 2009
 

Lohan2008

Gold Meritorious Patron
Ty Graham

Thanks for posting G.Berry. You have won a lot of support with a wide range of people by standing up to the Church of $cientology. :thumbsup:

Thanks for challenging the order for protesters to stay away from "Gold Base" near Hemet, Ca. Thanks for bringing this attempt to silence free speach to the attention of the media. I will always love the image of Cof$ lawyers scurrying for cover in the light of scrutiny.

:heartflower:

Kendrick Moxon, has been labeled “the loneliest douche bag” on the planet.
 

xseaorguk

Patron Meritorious
three cheers for Graham Berry

I have been following your work on the net since I started protesting 8 months ago.
I admire your competence and courage.
Thank you so much for what you are doing!
Reading your report gave me goose-bumps, and I must admit I feel proud to have been part of it at the demos.
This is the first time in my life I have demonstrated about anything and damn it feels GOOD.
I sometimes watch favourite Anonymous protests videos from London to give myself a reminder for what we are doing this for.
As an Ex- Sea Org member I know what I'm talking about as I was there, in the cult.
The abuses and lies must stop.

Expose the global Scam of $cientology!
 

FlunkedForLaughing

Patron with Honors
Thanks for the great report Graham. Thanks for all the hard work that you do. It is really making a difference. It is becoming safer to protest the CO$.

As more people are out from under the control and influence of the "church", and as "fair-game" is turning into "fair-lame", I believe we will see more people having the courage to stand up to the "church". I find it amazing to see how many long-time members of 20 years or more are getting out.

It will be very interesting to see what happens in 2009. I've got my popcorn ready. :drama:

FFL
 

klidov

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thank you for the report, Mr. Berry. It is encouraging, and good news for all who fight this criminal cult!

Surely Moxton, and Miscavige cannot help but notice that their empire has come apart at the seams. Former members are speaking out, the Internet has revealed what had previously been "secrets", Elron himself has been held up to public examination, and his (Elrons') own words have been the greatest single source of damage to the Cult.

More & more members are escaping every day. Previous intimidation tactics (Black Ops, Fair-Gaming) now blow-up in the Cult's face.

The game is not yet over, but it is clear to everyone that the Cult is no longer calling all the shots. They cannot silence everyone. For those that are used to being little Dictators, that must be quite frustrating!

(and the thought of DM's rages makes me smile) :thumbsup:

For me, this is not about Religion. It is not about any belief system. If people wish to worship pretty pink unicorns, on purple clouds, then more power to them! What brings them comfort, it is all free will.

However to practice medicine (Purif) without medical training, to enslave people, to tear families apart, to abuse children........these things are not acceptable.

If the Cult wants to be a business (selling books & classes), they must pay taxes.

If they want to practice medicine, they must be trained & licensed with the State.

If they want to be a Church/Spiritual Center, they must surrender all the copyrights on Cult material, and act as a Church, and not a business.

Your work on behalf of Anon & those fighting this Cult are deeply appreciated.

Godspeed, Atty Berry!
 

programmer_guy

True Ex-Scientologist
Graham,

You are one very brave person. I know that there are huge risks for doing all that you have done.

Thank you.:thumbsup:
 

Human Again

Silver Meritorious Patron
For me, this is not about Religion. It is not about any belief system. If people wish to worship pretty pink unicorns, on purple clouds, then more power to them! What brings them comfort, it is all free will.

However to practice medicine (Purif) without medical training, to enslave people, to tear families apart, to abuse children........these things are not acceptable.

If the Cult wants to be a business (selling books & classes), they must pay taxes.

YES!

If they want to practice medicine, they must be trained & licensed with the State.

Yes! And publish research to back up their claims.

If they want to be a Church/Spiritual Center, they must surrender all the copyrights on Cult material, and act as a Church, and not a business.

Yes! And be freaking compassionate and care.


WAy to go Graham Berry and Nice and clear Kildov!
 

Carmel

Crusader
Thank you for this report, and for all that you do and have done. :)

I read this a little earlier today - I didn't know how to respond then, and I don't really know how to now. Just please know, that there are many who are so appreciative of what you are doing, and are happy to back you up in whatever way we can - we are certainly with you in spirit, although I am aware that that's not much chop when one is dealing with what you are.

All the best for what seems like a much brighter future now, for all! :thumbsup:

Love,
Carmel
 

FoTi

Crusader
Thank you so much!

:thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou:

Graham Berry...you are a hero. :thumbsup:

Great report. All of the work you have done and are still doing is much appreciated. You are one tough dude!
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Thanks, Graham.

You are my 2008 ESMB Xenu Award nominee.

Along with 4 other presently unknown somebodies, that's saying quite something!
 

Feral

Rogue male
Thanks Graham, I think your assessment is right on the money.

The tide has turned for the CofS.
 

Rae

Patron with Honors
Observations, ideas, assessments and we're we are going...

First of all I would like to say that what you are doing and have done takes more than a little degree of courage. You are greatly admired.

Your overview is superb(I'm not sure what you meant on one point though, when you said DM didn't show up for the Patron Ball that wasn't at the Shrine...did you mean the IAS event or the Patron's Ball in LA? He has never shown up for an LA Patron Ball which is almost always held at a hotel)..despite all the Scientology PR glutz on it's "expansion" and how well it is doing across the world.

Although you haven't gotten the responses here that you were looking for..mainly other's observations, ideas, assessments and contributions on where we should go from here, I hope you at least feel that your work has been appreciated.

I, for one, have spent endless hours reviewing all that has happened in the last year with the onset of the Anons, all that I know of Scientology and it's operations (I am New OTVlll, GAT Class IV, ex SO with tons of admin training), and have assessed the situation for greatest speed of downfall of the cult (from my viewpoint).

I believe that the combination of both of these is necessary

1)the continuance of Anonymous protests and internet postings, videos, letters to officials etc to be crucial to Scientology not being able to get new public in, making public aware of the dangers of the cult and cutting the "reach" of the existing "churches" and missions, inhibiting the cults ability to recruit staff etc etc.

2)But inside the church I see that the only real way to ensure the downfall of the cult is to get to the OTs..specifically the OTVlls and Vllls as these people are basically holding the church together financially and otherwise. These are the guys that HAVE to contribute, have to buy, have to recruit, are on staff as the execs in the orgs, etc etc. Their "eternity" is held over their heads and the OTVlls especially have to return for interrogation every 6 months and if the contributions are not what is expected there is hell to pay. And the OTVllls are responsible for getting the Ideal Orgs in place, are demanded to head up the orgs, are solicited for this, that and the other campaigns' success..etc etc. More and more money and time demands are made on this group than on any other in Scn.

So that is my take on the situation. 1)continue all the actions of Anonymous to prevent any new culties from being made and distract the current ones so much as to make them ineffective and 2)develop a plan to get to the upper level Scientologists and get them out.

Again, I thank you for all you are doing.

Rae
 

Thrak

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thanks, Graham.

You are my 2008 ESMB Xenu Award nominee.

Along with 4 other presently unknown somebodies, that's saying quite something!

Come on Zo this guys a shoe in. Nominee Schmominee. But thanks Graham this really warms my heart.
 

scooter

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thank you for your report and everything else you have done to shine the light of truth into the darkest recesses of the Co$

I think Rae's assessment of what's needed is spot-on - a plan to get the OT VIIs and OT VIIIs out (or at least a concentration on them by us exes) will accelerate the downfall of the cult.

There's one other thing that you touched on that I think is widely underestimated and thus neglected - refunds and repayments.

If all exes actively sought repayment and even refunds, then the cult would be forced to spend time and resources processing these.

Especially if Govt. agencies were alerted to slow settlements or refusal to pay.

The wheels of govt. turn slowly but they turn for a long time once they're gotten moving.

My wife and I are using this strategy as it means we don't have to directly deal with OSA but do so via a public servant who's job it is to make tardy organizations hurry up with their obligations.

And if lots of people complain, reports get sent to politicians and they start debating whether to legislate.

I doubt that the cult will be around long enough for this last step to happen, but it's good to get a lot of spotlights shone under the rocks where DM and Co. currently hide -"No you can't have your money, it's mine!" sounds sooooo pathetic to a public servant that they'll usually make it a crusade of their own to get your money back for you.

And they're being paid to do it, folks!
 
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